by MJ Prince
Layla scrambles to her feet and she looks furious.
“Are you kidding me—you’re sticking up for this bitch? Have you lost your goddamn mind, Raph?” she screams. The fire is out, but she’s lunging for me again. Something in Raph’s eyes makes her stop short.
“Don’t fucking touch her, Layla. I swear.” His voice is deathly calm, but I know that that’s when he’s at his most dangerous. Everyone here seems to know it, too.
My whole body is shaking with adrenaline and I think that Raph must be able to feel it, because his arms tighten around me momentarily and I think I must be imagining it.
“What the fuck is going on here, Raph? You started all of this—you hate this whore!”
He ignores Layla and takes the towel from around his neck, draping it over my body.
Her words snap me into action then. Because she’s right—Raph did start all of this. He’s the fucking King of this place, he put the label on me, he made the promise to make my life a living hell. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would even be happening. So what if he just stopped his bitch girlfriend from flame throwing my ass. He probably only did it because he wants to get the killing strike in himself.
Fuck him. Fuck them all.
“Get your fucking hands off me,” I shout as I push Raph away. “I don’t need your help. All of this is your fault in the first place. So, just leave me the fuck alone.”
Raph looks stunned and his eyes darken to a midnight blue. He looks angry, though I couldn’t care less.
Turning on my heel, I walk away from the mess.
“What the hell, Jazmine?” Dani whispers. We’re in the library after classes, studying for tomorrow’s trigonometry test—it’s one of those times when I wish that Eden wasn’t so similar to Earth. I mean who would’ve thought that you could move to a whole different realm and still have to take the same exams?
But Dani doesn’t seem to be interested in passing tomorrow’s test, she’s more interested in grilling me about my earlier fight with Layla instead.
“I’m not saying that Layla doesn’t deserve it. God, if anyone here deserves a punch to the mouth, it’s definitely her. But she’s the queen bee for a reason—she’s going to kill you, Jazmine. Like gut you from head to toe and eat your insides for breakfast.”
I grimace at the mental image.
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Dan.”
“Although, she’s only the queen bee because Raph’s always had her back … but now I hear he’s backing someone else.”
She looks at me pointedly, and I duck my head to pretend to study the formula on the page.
“Are you fucking him?”
My head snaps up as I stare at her wide eyed. Totally stunned at her choice of words.
“What? Of course not!” I hiss back. I’m blushing so furiously, that Dani starts eyeing me curiously. I don’t like it.
“Wait—you’re not a—”
I say nothing as I go back to pretending to analyze the formula in the textbook.
“Oh my god. You are! You’re a virgin?”
Dani is staring at me wide eyed.
“Well, if you must know, I am.”
“How is that even possible? I mean look at you,” she replies.
I let out a long sigh then.
“I told you I moved around a lot. Not exactly ideal for dating or forming any attachments. Add to that my many trust issues …” I trail off.
“And anyway, since when are you such an expert?” I mutter.
Dani just smirks at me in response.
“Hey, I may be a friendless loser around here in Regency but I’m in a band, remember—I get up to all kinds of things off campus,” she replies with a wink.
Now I’m the one to look at her in shock.
“Kidding. But my first time was with a guy from my last band. We dated for a year back in sophomore year but long distance relationships are too hard to maintain,” she adds.
“So, there’s nothing going on between you and Raph?” Dani prods. “Not even a little kissing, groping, touching …”
I make a face which is meant to be a grimace.
“You mean apart from the fact that the asshole hates me and he’s likely going to murder me in my sleep one of these days?”
Dani waves her hand dismissively.
“You know I’m not entirely sure he does anymore—or if he did at all. You know what they say about love and hate …”
“No, I don’t,” I lie.
“Well, whatever is going on—”
“Which is nothing,” I interrupt.
“—just be careful. Getting in with the Dynasty heirs is a dangerous game. No one comes out unscathed.”
I let out another sigh.
Dani says nothing as she squeezes my hand. She’s looking at me like I’m a dead woman walking and every fiber in my body agrees with her.
Later that evening, Sovereign Hall is blessedly still as I walk through the golden double doors.
My fists are throbbing and I can see the bruises beginning to form around the open cuts which still sting like a mother.
Letting out a long sigh, I head over to the kitchen and open the double doors to the freezer. I grab a handful of ice from the ice tray and dump it in a tea towel.
I’m in the process of putting together a makeshift ice pack, when the front doors fling open. I stiffen at the intrusion and prepare myself for another confrontation, although this time, I’ll probably end up putting my hands out of commission for at least a few weeks, which isn’t ideal, given that I need them to paint.
But instead of Layla’s hateful face, I see Baron walk in. He’s laughing at something and is in the middle of throwing a comeback when I realize that he’s not alone. Raph is with him.
I consider getting up and bolting to my room. But why the hell should I? I live here, too.
Baron surprises me when he walks over and flashes me that wide smile.
“You kicked ass today,” he says and I feel my eyebrows arch. Baron’s been pretty decent to me the last few times I’ve seen him, but the Dynasty heirs have known each other since birth, so I would’ve thought that his loyalties would lie with Layla.
“Really?” I say tentatively.
“Yeah, sure. Seeing the two hottest girls in Regency rolling around on the floor in their swimsuits was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
The excitement in his eyes makes me burst out laughing, despite the fact that his words totally gross me out.
“I think every guy in class sprang a boner. Hottest catfight ever.”
“You’re always so in tune about when the guys at Regency are getting boners—is there something you need to tell everyone?” I quip.
Raph, who has been standing in the entrance hall watching until now, walks over to us, and throws a smirk at Baron.
“Ha. Ha.” Baron replies, rolling his eyes.
I feel all laughter drain from my body and I’m suddenly on my guard again.
Raph had been furious the last time I saw him in swim class. I expect to see the same anger when I look into those impossibly blue eyes. But I think I see something like concern instead as his gaze falls on my swollen hands, which is ridiculous, because why the hell would he care? He hates me.
What he does then surprises everyone, including, it seems, himself. I can see the conflict raging in those midnight blue eyes as he takes both of my hands in his and presses the makeshift ice pack to my knuckles.
I feel like I’m two seconds from falling off my stool as I gape at him, and Baron looks like he’s about to keel over in shock.
The room is deathly silent and the air feels so charged, that it’s difficult to breathe.
Baron coughs and I turn to find him shifting awkwardly on his feet, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here. Raph doesn’t seem to notice though, as he keeps his gaze locked onto my face.
“God, as much as I’m enjoying standing here choking on all this sexual tension, I think I’ll go up
stairs and drill holes into my teeth—because that’ll be more bearable.”
Raph doesn’t say a word as he keeps the ice pack pressed onto my knuckles, and neither of us speaks as he takes out a first aid kit from one of the kitchen drawers.
I say nothing as he dresses the cuts on my knuckles, his expert fingers applying the antiseptic deftly and with surprising gentleness. I don’t move a single muscle, I don’t think I even breathe.
When he’s finished, he still says nothing as he walks away. As I stare after him, I don’t think he needs to.
15
It’s a few days after my showdown with Layla and the bizarre encounter with Raph in the kitchen. I’ve spent the entire afternoon after class and the early part of the evening in the art studio, distracting myself with my latest project.
It’s dark by the time I walk the tree lined road from campus to the edge of the plateau where Sovereign Hall perches.
I can hear the music blaring from midway down the road, and there is indeed another party in full swing. Great, this is the last thing I need.
I let out a long sigh and shoulder my way past a group of drunken students. Just like at the last party when Raph tried to drown me in the pool, I’m forced to witness the hormone fest surrounding me. I think I throw up in my mouth as I see a couple practically having sex on the kitchen island. Gross. I had my breakfast on that only a few hours ago.
I spot Baron in the pool, surrounded by a group of perky blondes. Totally in his element. Keller is also in the pool area, making out with a cute guy from the soccer team. He seems enthralled and intimidated by her at the same time.
I try not to look for Raph as I climb the stairs, but my eyes seem to have a mind of their own. I spot him in the packed living area. He’s with Layla, which is perfect. Of course. I notice though, that they seem to be locked in some heated argument. Raph looks furious. Whatever.
I feel Layla’s eyes on me as I continue up the stairs, but I don’t turn to look. The bitch can kiss my ass.
I open the double doors to my room and straightaway I notice that there’s a fire blazing brightly in the fireplace. What the hell?
I feel like I’m moving in slow motion as my gaze falls on the metal tin lying open on the plush black rug in front of the fire place. I run over to the orange and white flames just in time to see my mom’s sketches and photographs burning in the fire.
I feel like I’ve been punched in the chest and I can’t seem to get any air into my lungs as I stare at the fire. And stare. And stare.
I can’t tear my eyes away from the horrific scene of every single memory that I’ve ever had worth keeping, going up in flames. The only pieces of my mom that I have left.
I feel so utterly useless in that moment, because if I could summon water or wind, or anything—I could try to salvage what’s left of my mom’s memories. But I can’t even do that.
Panic spurs me then and I think I’ve lost my mind because I try to reach into the fire itself, not caring that I’m about to burn my own hands off.
I’m yanked back forcefully by strong arms and I thrash against them as they hold me back.
“Let me go!” I scream.
“Jaz, don’t,” Raph’s voice in my ear is oddly soothing and I can hear something else mixed with it—sadness?
“Get the fuck off me!” I whirl around to face him.
“Put out the fire—please!” I don’t care that I’m begging the guy who most likely is responsible for this for help.
He shakes his head and there’s that sadness again.
“It’s too late, Jaz—they’re gone.”
“No!” I cry out.
“I hate you—I fucking hate you!” I’m lunging for him now, but he holds my arms to stop me.
“It wasn’t me, Jaz—I had nothing to do with this, I swear.”
Those blue eyes look so sincere. But I don’t believe him. I don’t trust him.
“I don’t believe you.” I’m shaking my head as I back away from him, my voice barely a ragged whisper.
I turn on my heel and run.
I can hear him calling after me, but I don’t stop.
I see Layla’s satisfied smile as I run past the living area and I want to punch her on the mouth all over again. But it won’t bring my mom’s memories back.
So, I keep running. Out of Sovereign Hall, away from the crowd where I don’t belong, away from the people who will never accept me.
I keep running until I reach the rocky beach beneath and I collapse onto the sand, feeling like all of the fight in me is gone.
It’s only then that I cover my face with my hands and let the tears that I’ve been holding back since I stepped foot in this godforsaken place, fall. I let myself cry then—for myself, for all the lost memories.
I don’t sense his presence until he’s sitting next to me on the sand. I want to tell him to leave, but there’s nothing left inside me anymore. Nothing in me that cares.
I draw my knees up to my chest then, hugging them to me.
We sit in silence for what seems like an eternity, watching the silvery beams of the crescent moon reflecting off the waves as they lap against the rocky sand.
“I have no idea why I even decided to stay here,” I say finally. “I mean, Magnus basically kidnapped me and the only way back is with some key I can’t get my hands on and even if I could, I’d still have no idea how to summon a damn portal. Although I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to leave the first opportunity I get, so far I haven’t even bothered to try to find a way back. I guess some part of me was hoping that I’d finally found the place where I belong.”
I don’t know why I’m telling Raph all of this. I’m almost just saying it to myself. He listens though, not saying a word as he sits there beside me.
“After my mom died, I felt like I was drifting from place to place. Lost. Like there was nowhere on Earth where I could possibly belong. I felt so different from everyone else around me. I could be in a room full of people and still feel like I was the only one there. Like even if I screamed at the top of my lungs, none of those people would hear.
“When Magnus showed up with this promise of a different life, I guess part of me was sucked in. Part of me hoped that it would be different. That the connection that I sometimes feel to the moon, the stars and the night isn’t just me being crazy.
“But I was wrong—I don’t have those powers, I’m not one of you. I don’t belong here. I think the saddest part is that all along, I’ve known that there was nothing for me to go back to Earth for. My life on Earth was utterly meaningless—I was nothing, no one. Those memories of my mom in that tin? It was all I had left.”
I get up then, brushing the sand off my jeans.
“Now it’s all gone. And now, I’m done,” I say.
“I’m so done.”
I’m almost at the path that leads up the side of the cliff back up to Sovereign Hall when Raph’s voice stops me.
“Don’t go.”
His words are quiet, but the night breeze carries them to me.
I turn slowly and find him walking towards me, the blue of his eyes so dark, that they are almost the same color as the night sky.
“What?” I ask, my voice barely a ragged whisper.
“I said, don’t go,” he repeats.
I stare at him in confusion.
“Don’t you get it? I said I’m done—you win.”
He lets out a long breath, and those uncanny eyes lock onto mine, looking into me, through me.
“I’m sorry for … everything. Everything that’s happened to you since you’ve stepped foot here. All of it is my fault.”
The apology floors me and I don’t even know what to think. I should tell him that I don’t believe him. I should tell him that the apology doesn’t matter, not after all he’s done. But those words don’t come out and I can only stand there in silence.
“I don’t know if I’ve lost my mind and I have no idea why I’m stopping you right now... But I want you t
o stay. I … need you to stay.”
I’m utterly baffled now as I look back at him and I have no words.
“What you said about not being able to use your powers? I can help you with that.”
I start to shake my head, but he’s going on.
“Please let me help you with that.”
I’m silent for a long moment as I look at that impossibly beautiful face. For the first time since I’ve met him, he looks … scared almost.
It feels like I’m standing on the precipice of something so profound, that if I let myself look over the edge and see, things would never be the same. I would never be the same.
I’m aware that I feel terrified in that moment, but something about the fragile look in those uncanny eyes strikes a chord inside me and if anyone were to ask me why I did what I do next, I know I won’t be able to explain.
“Okay,” I say quietly.
He holds his hand out to me and I take it and in that moment, it feels like we’re the only two people in the vastness of time and space.
16
As I stand on the rocky beach at an ungodly hour a few days later, I regret that I ever accepted Raph’s offer.
“God, when you said that you were going to help me with my powers, I didn’t expect you to be such a drill sergeant.”
He smirks at me in response.
“I have soccer practice every morning, so this is the only free time that I have in the mornings.”
“But it’s 5:00 a.m.” I groan.
“I know. Thanks for letting me know the time, but I have a watch for that.”
“You’re an asshole,” I grumble.
“A very kind and helpful asshole who is giving up his time to help you because I’m that amazing,” he replies, flashing that cocky smile.
He’s clearly a morning person because even at this ungodly hour, he looks devastatingly handsome in a grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. It figures, he is, after all, meant to be the bringer of day.
I, on the other hand, look like the walking dead.
He puts on his official training face as he fixes those bright blue eyes on me.
“We’ll do water again today.”