by MJ Prince
His eyes lock onto mine, dark with hunger and a need that takes my breath away and his words have an equal effect.
“God, Jaz, you’re so goddamn beautiful. I want you so much, I feel like I can’t even breathe when I look at you.”
His words echo my own feelings, his desire mirrors my own and the connection that I feel to the elements seems like nothing compared to the one that I feel when I look at that impossibly perfect face. His beauty is utterly devastating and for a second, I can’t quite make myself believe that he’s real. That this is real.
Raph’s fingers move from my cheek, trailing down the side of my neck, until his hand finally rests on my chest. I know that he can feel my heart beating wildly and when I raise a shaky hand to his smooth chest, I can feel the running stag clamor of his heart, too.
“Your heart is beating so fast right now, Jaz,” he whispers, his voice sounding hoarse.
“So is yours,” I reply softly.
He smiles then, that heartbreakingly intimate smile that I know no one in this entire universe has seen but me.
“I want to touch you so badly, Jaz. Will you let me?” The plea melts away the fear and doubt, because although I know he can sense just how much I want him, he still asks for my permission.
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I plant a kiss on his smooth chest instead, right over where his heart is jackhammering like crazy. I nod up at him and I feel the shudder that races through his powerful body.
I hear the way his breath hitches as he leans down to kiss me again. But this time, the kiss is different. The way his lips touch mine is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. As limited as my kissing experience might be, I had no idea that a person could even be kissed like this—the awe, the tenderness, the reverence, all of it washes over me and I feel the kiss like a punch to my chest. Painful and exquisite, all at once.
I feel myself losing grip on all thought when Raph’s lips begin their descent. He lifts my body enough to remove my soaked t-shirt and he plants a delicate kiss on my shoulder as he gently eases both bra straps down. I feel him reach around me and with expert fingers, he unclasps the back. A moment later, my bra joins my t-shirt on the floor somewhere.
I’m now entirely naked from the waist up and I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. Raph pulls back and his eyes travel the length of my bare skin, from the peaks of my breasts to the valley of my bare stomach below. I feel the fire in his gaze, the hunger in his eyes, so deep and all-consuming, that it’s almost frightening. But I can feel how he’s holding himself back, controlling that desire. Part of me doesn’t want him to, the foolish part of me that’s as hungry for him as he is for me, wants to unleash all that he is and I want to burn in that fire.
The flames burning in the fireplace encase Raph’s golden body with its glow but I realize that Raph himself is glowing, too. His skin is radiating its own light and the sight is almost too beautiful to watch without coming apart.
“You’re glowing,” I say softly.
Our gazes lock and I meet his eyes unflinchingly, because when I say my next words, I want him to feel it in every fiber of his being.
“Touch me.”
The plea snaps whatever leash that Raph had been holding himself back with and like a beast freed of its tether, his body covers mine again. His mouth captures my breast and I hear myself cry out at the new and unfamiliar sensations raging through me. His hand grips my waist as he rolls his hips into mine, the hard length of him pressing against the softest part of me. Each thrust of his hips elicits a moan from my lips. I can feel the vibration of his responding groan against my breast as he continues to suck and lick at the soft skin.
His free hand comes up to cup my other breast, and the rough pads of his fingers against the softness, is almost too much to bear. I’m gasping out his name and I can feel his smile against my abdomen as he travels lower down my body. He wanted me to say his name again and he sure as hell is making it happen.
He pauses when he reaches the waistband of my jeans. His fingers hover over the button, but he looks back at me and waits. The silent request tugs at my chest and I can only nod in response, not trusting myself to speak.
My jeans are off in less than a second and I’m aware that the only piece of clothing left covering my body is the thin scrap of lace around my waist.
His hands tremble at my waist as he lowers the fabric, and I know he can feel me trembling, too. He catches the lace with his teeth and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so sexy as he works the material down my thighs.
I know that he can sense my apprehension when that last piece of clothing joins the rest on the floor, because he slows down then, trailing soft kisses along the inside of my thigh. His kisses are traveling higher and soon his mouth will touch me where no other person has ever been. The thought terrifies me, but the want overpowers the fear, because I do want him. I want him so much.
“I’ve wanted to do this since the first moment I saw you on that beach,” he says, and when I look down, I know I’m wrong about the sight of his teeth around my panties being the sexiest sight I’d ever seen, because the sight of that beautiful face between my legs, exceeds that by far.
His eyes are fixed onto the center of me, and he lets out a shuddering breath.
“God, Jaz, you’re so damn beautiful, every part of you.”
I don’t get a chance to respond, because a split second later I feel his mouth on me and the world, hell the entire universe disappears, leaving only the feeling of his mouth licking and sucking at the most intimate part of me. His mouth moves with a hunger that brands me, claims me and I let him lay that claim, because I want every inch of me to belong to him and only him.
My back arches clean off the plush rug as his mouth closes on the throbbing bud at the center of me, and I feel like I’m coming out of my own skin. I feel his groan of approval vibrating through me and I can’t think past the feeling of his mouth on me, working me until I’m at a fever pitch, every inch of my skin burning.
When his finger thrusts inside me, I think I forget my own name and when his tongue slips inside me to replace it, I remember only his. I’m breathing it out over and over as the tension inside me mounts, until my body can’t contain it anymore.
I’m still crying out his name when his mouth covers mine, devouring the sound as my body shudders and shakes uncontrollably. He holds me through it, his tongue caressing mine in the same way that it had just been caressing the most intimate part of me, and I can taste myself on his tongue as I kiss him back with utter abandon.
I collapse in his arms and he drops delicate kisses along my jaw, down the side of my neck as I struggle to piece myself back together. But he’s there with me, holding me, and although it feels like I’ve just lost my own sanity, the feel of his warmth, of his solid arms around me, makes me feel safe.
Eventually, he carries me to my bed. The soft covers feel heavenly against my naked skin. But not as good as the feel of his arms around my waist as he pulls me against his side. I glance up at him and his expression looks like he’s just had his mind blown, but that doesn’t make sense because I’m the one who just lost my mind in all of these crazy sensations.
Something occurs to me then, and I suddenly feel awkward as hell. Because this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this, so I have no idea how to reciprocate.
“What about—”
But he doesn’t let me finish, cutting me off with a kiss deep enough to remind me what his mouth, his tongue felt like in other places.
“I wanted to touch you first, Jaz. Tonight is all about you,” he says when he breaks away.
Our gazes lock for a long moment, and I feel like I’m losing my grip on the universe again. Nothing exists outside this world that we’ve created.
I rest my hand on his chest then, my fingers touching the hard smoothness of his skin.
“Is it always like this?” I find myself asking. “I feel like I’m going to burst into flames
every time I look at you,” I confess.
He smiles, but his eyes are serious, midnight blue and dark with emotion.
“No, baby. It’s never been like this for me before.”
He pulls me closer to him, his chin resting on top of my hair and I can feel him breathing me in.
“God, Jaz, what are you doing to me?” He lets out a shuddering breath and I want to ask him the same thing, because I feel like I can’t even think straight right now.
We lie like that for what seems like forever, but at the same time not long enough.
Then I feel his mouth curling into a smile against my hair, just as I’m about to drift off to sleep.
“I love it when you say my name, Jaz.”
Embarrassment floods me and I lift my arm to deliver a punch squarely to his rock hard gut. But he catches my fist in his hand and quick as a snake, he thrusts forward and shifts me onto my back again.
His lips crash onto mine and although I’ve only just pieced myself back together, I let him unravel me all over again.
26
When Monday morning comes, I find myself slipping out of my room soundlessly, not wanting to wake Raph. I leave for class much too early and it’s because where it really matters, I’m one hell of a coward.
The memory of Raph’s mouth on me, not just on my lips, but on every part of my body, is seared into my mind. The first time on the plush rug in front of the fireplace, the second time before we both finally succumb to sleep, once more in the middle of the night and again when we both woke up on Sunday morning.
Then there was the whole of Sunday when we spent the whole day in my bed. What started off as an innocent plan to watch movies all day, turned out to be not quite so innocent, with Raph making me cry out his damn name way too many times. I’d been dying to touch him, to make him lose his sanity in the same way that he had made me lose my mind, but he kept telling me he could wait, that it was all about me, although the way his body trembled and the naked pleasure in his eyes told me that he had enjoyed every minute of it as much as I had, if not more.
I flush as I remember the feel of those sensuous lips against the most intimate parts of me and the way I’d come apart against those lips, over and over again. I let out a groan of frustration as I make my way to campus, suddenly feeling like I need another cold shower.
But as undeniably pleasurable as each moment has been, it feels like all of it happened in some isolated world that we had created all for ourselves, a world where it didn’t matter who and what Raph was, a world where his throne and the duties and obligations that came with it, didn’t exist. But it’s back to reality now and in the cold light of day, I can’t ignore the questions, the doubts that I’ve kept at bay since Friday night when Raph spoke those words to me that seemed to steal away all sanity and reason.
I kick myself for letting any of this happen. I should’ve stayed away from Raph, I shouldn’t have accepted his truce or his offer to help me. That way, we would’ve stayed enemies, because things were so much simpler when I believed that we hated each other.
I should’ve stayed clear of him when he told me that he didn’t want me, that he couldn’t want me, that none of this could ever matter because apart from the not wanting me part, the rest of it is still true.
“What happened to you this weekend?” Dani asks, as we settle into first period, thankfully not a class that I share with Raph.
“I tried calling and I texted you a few times because you seemed kind of upset when you left the Fall Ball on Friday.”
I consider lying, but I decide against it, because Dani is my friend, the first one I’d made in this place and I want to confide in her.
“Oh, Dan,” I sigh. “So much has gone down since then.”
Dani looks intrigued and she raises an eyebrow expectantly.
I tell her everything that happened, and although I keep my voice down so only she can hear, she’s far less subtle with her exclamations.
I keep the bedroom parts brief, but I can still feel my face burning once I’ve finished.
Dani is silent for a long moment.
“So, Raph really went down on you? More than once?” she asks finally.
“Dani!” I cry out in frustration. “Is that really the only part that matters?”
“Hell yes, it is,” she replies quickly.
“You are one lucky girl,” she adds. “I don’t think there’s a girl here that wouldn’t love to swap places with you right now.”
“Well, they’re welcome to because I have no idea what to do with this mess,” I reply, covering my face with my hand.
Dani’s face turns somber then.
“I don’t know what you should do either. I mean, it’s great that Raph finally came out and admitted what everyone with eyes and ears has known since that first day you stepped on campus. More than great.
“But you’re right—it’s way more complicated than that. Raph isn’t just any guy—he’s a Dynasty heir, the heir to the goddamn throne. He’s up to his eyeballs in obligations and duties. He’s been raised in a certain way, taught to disregard what he wants for the sake of his Dynasty, what his throne needs him to do.”
“Thanks, Dan, that makes me feel a hell of a lot better,” I grumble. She’s speaking with such knowledge and conviction, that some part of me wonders if she’s maybe talking about more than just Raph here, if maybe it’s the same for Lance, but to a lesser extent.
“What I mean is, Raph must really feel something fierce for you if he’s willing to step out like this.”
“But what if it’s just another piece on the side for him. He told me that he and Layla have this sick understanding where he basically gets to screw around with whoever he wants, but none of that changes who they are to each other. She’s his betrothed, Dan. Everyone expects them to be together and one day, she’s going to be his queen.”
I feel the stabbing pain at my chest when I say the words out loud, and the realization of what I’ve just gotten myself into crashes over me like a tidal wave.
Dani’s face softens as she covers my hand in hers.
“If you really believe that you’re just another piece on the side for Raph, then you wouldn’t have let all that happen between you this past weekend. No way, Jazmine. I know you. I know that you believe there’s something more to it than just that.”
I did, one hundred percent, believe that on Friday night but now … now, in the cold light of day, I’m not so sure.
“I don’t know anything anymore,” I say then.
“Okay, well don’t jump to conclusions until you do know for sure,” she says and I can make myself agree with that at least.
My resolve to keep an open mind quickly wavers when Raph walks into my second period class with Layla on his heels. The sight of them together used to make my stomach twist, but now it makes me feel so completely sick, that I’m finding it hard to stay seated at my desk. Because all I want to do is get the hell out of here and as far away as possible from the sight of Raph and Layla together.
The realization that I felt crashing over me earlier, returns with a vengeance. What the hell had I been thinking, letting myself get involved with Raph? A guy who, a few months ago was solely responsible for making my life a living hell, a guy who is clearly betrothed to the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in real life and who, coincidentally, hates my guts.
My eyes land on Layla’s all too perfect face and I can almost imagine her with a crown on her head, sitting beside Raph’s throne—his queen. That is who she’s destined to be, and me? I’m nothing more than just another foolish girl who let Raph into her panties. It’s my own fault, though, because I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that I was way out of my depths with this guy, that his promise to break me was no idle threat because even if I do now believe that it isn’t his intention, it doesn’t change the fact that I know, deep down, that he will.
There’s no other way this could end. I don’t know anything about dating or even hookin
g up with guys. My total inexperience means that Raphael St. Tristan does indeed have the ability to break my naïve little heart, if I don’t start seeing sense this very second.
I force myself to face that painful reality and school my face blank, despite the churning in my gut.
But when Raph’s vivid blue eyes lock onto mine, that reality wavers, because although I search for any sign of regret, I don’t see anything of the sort. Instead he’s looking at me as if I’m the only person in the room, hell, maybe even the only person in the entire universe. Dani isn’t in this class with me, but if she were, I know she’d be throwing me one of her pointed looks right now.
Still, I keep my guard up when instead of following Layla to the front row, he walks towards where I’m sitting. The desk beside me magically empties and Raph drops down into it.
“Jaz.” He greets me with that heart stopping smile and when my gaze falls on those sensuous lips, all I can think about is the wicked things that those lips, that tongue did to my body all weekend long.
The smirk on Raph’s face tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking and that he’s thinking of exactly the same thing, too.
“Hey,” I manage, keeping my tone casual.
A small frown forms on his face as he assesses mine.
He leans over to me and the feel of his mouth so close to my ear causes shivers to race through my spine.
“I woke up this morning thinking it was going to be the best Monday morning I’ve had in a long time, but I was bitterly disappointed when I realized that I was all alone in that big bed of yours,” he whispers.
I force my erratic heartbeat to calm. I need to keep my head and it’s proving almost impossible with Raph whispering in my ear.
“I had to get to class early,” I lie and even I can hear how lame that excuse is.
I don’t turn around to see Raph’s reaction, but from the corner of my eye, I don’t miss the way his frown deepens.
Thankfully, I’m saved by Professor Hoxton, who hands out a surprise quiz, which means that we’ll have to spend the rest of the class in silence.