by MJ Prince
Memories of that duel between Raph and Baron that I’d witnessed during my first few days at Regency flood my mind, and I say a silent prayer to the powers that be that I won’t come to regret this.
Not that I believe for a second that Raph would intentionally hurt me. At least not anymore. But I’ve seen how he fights. I’ve witnessed his raw power. The most powerful Seraph in his generation and I’m certain that he could incinerate me in the blink of an eye, even without meaning to.
Despite my apprehension, I feel a familiar wave of adrenaline rushing through my veins as I stand facing Raph from the opposite side of the field.
Overhead, the late autumn sunset paints the sky with hues of pink and purple, casting an almost magical glow on the lush green field.
I’m aware of other students crossing the campus grounds and on the other sports fields in the distance, but as I focus my senses, the entire universe narrows to just the two of us. As if we’re the only two people in the entire universe, with the elements surrounding us, our only allies. A whisper of premonition runs through me and for a split second, it feels like the very universe itself is watching, waiting. As if it’s been waiting for this moment since the beginning of time itself.
I sweep the ridiculous thought away, but the whisper of fate in my veins remains.
I expect him to make the first move. But he waits with the patience of a predator. My eyes lock with his momentarily and what I see there isn’t the face that I’m certain I, and I alone know. It’s the face of the heir to the throne of Eden. The face that everyone else in this world sees. The face that every single one of his opponents must see. It’s no wonder that no one is able to beat him.
Like a veil dropping, there isn’t even a hint of what I know lies beneath that mask. There is only the heir and as he stands there on the field, it is with the air of the crown that is his by birthright.
He read something in my expression, even across the distance. Because in an instant, that mask falters.
“You okay, Jaz?” His voice carries over to me across the vast field.
I pull myself together. Putting steel in my spine as I meet his gaze unflinchingly, I remind myself that I’m no damsel in distress or wilting flower. I’m a fucking badass. I didn’t let Raph get the better of me when we were enemies and I sure as hell won’t let him win now, even though his kisses make me feel like I’m going to faint every time.
“I’m fine,” I reply, flashing him a smirk which I know will set his temper alight. “Just don’t try to take it easy on me.”
His responding grin is nothing short of wicked.
“I wasn’t planning to.”
And with that, the duel begins.
I open with a tornado which I’m pretty damn proud of. But Raph makes quick work of dissipating it until it’s nothing more than a gust of wind. Bastard.
He counters with an almighty heat storm which feels like it’s about to burn through my skin. I barely manage to summon a rainstorm in time to stop myself from bursting into flames.
Then we’re really fighting. No holds barred. Any pretence of politeness falling away, and I fucking love it.
We match each other blow for blow, countering and attacking seamlessly, as if we’ve been opponents for a lifetime. As if we were created for this very purpose. The field quakes as every season, every element known to the universe is unleashed over the vast field. The sight would be terrifying, if I wasn’t so fully immersed in it.
When our powers clash, it’s raw, primal, all-consuming. Just like that night on Rockford Cape, it’s like two halves of a whole snapping together, as seamless and as ancient as day shifting into night. He is my equal and I’m his.
But there is one key advantage that Raph has over me. His skills are honed, refined. He knows his way around a duel and he executes each move with tactical precision. He knows each move I’m going to make before I make it, and he knows exactly how to neutralize and counter against it.
It’s in this that Raph really shines, and I know with certainty that raw power will never be enough to best him. Because Raph was made for this, and it’s for this reason that he is undefeated.
Still, I’m not about to let him win so easily. I don’t know how long we stay locked in battle. I lose all track of time and space as we clash against each other, but I’m certain that it’s longer than his duel with Baron.
I feel my body tiring, weakening. But gathering my last ounce of strength, I focus on the call of the darkness. That same power I felt in that duel with Layla. The sky above the field darkens and I’m not entirely sure if it’s the natural cycle of night descending on the campus grounds, or if it’s my own power bringing it forth.
Either way, tapping into that power, so potent in my own veins, feels exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Nothing can describe it. Nothing can come close to it.
I feel the shadows gathering around me and for a moment I’m scared to unleash them. But as I lock eyes with Raph across the field, the fear dissipates. The look in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what I’m about to unleash and that he’s capable of withstanding it all. He knows everything I’m capable of and he wants it all.
I let go then, the shadows rushing out of me like a tsunami covering the entire universe and for a split second, there is nothing but darkness.
Then in that darkness, I see a flash of light. Growing brighter and brighter with each passing second, until it consumes the darkness. Until not a single shadow remains.
When the darkness clears, I see Raph standing a few steps away, moving to my side of the field. He’s encased in the afterglow of the daylight he’s just unleashed, but I can feel him shielding me from the burn.
The light dims, then finally fades into the night as he holds out his hand to me.
I take it, and for a moment neither of us speaks as we stand there at the center of the decimated field, our ragged breaths filling the space between us.
There’s something like wonder in his eyes and I’m certain it’s mirrored in my own.
The silence is shattered by the sound of loud applause, ringing out through the field.
I’d been so immersed in the duel, that I hadn’t even noticed the crowd that seems to have gathered around the edges of the vast field. Raph seems equally surprised as he takes in the cluster of students surrounding us.
He turns back to me with a grin.
“Not bad, Jaz.”
“I second that,” Baron’s voice travels over to us as he jogs across the field in his soccer uniform, Lance and Keller in tow.
“So, this is why you missed soccer practice today? So that you could get your ass almost handed to you by Jazmine?” Lance adds with a smirk.
I hold back a chuckle at that, as Raph shoots Lance a look of death.
“It wasn’t that close,” Raph grumbles.
“It was pretty damn close,” Keller interjects, flashing me a wicked smile.
“Yeah, and I thought your duel with Layla was badass. This one was fucking incredible.” Baron says, grinning at me.
“It looks like Raph might finally have met his match,” Keller says to Baron, with a knowing look as they grin at each other.
Raph turns back to me, all laughter gone from his face. His eyes darken to a midnight blue as they lock onto mine.
“Yeah,” he says, quietly. “I guess I have.”
He kisses me then. In front of the other Dynasty heirs, in front of the entire crowd.
I close my eyes and kiss him back, not caring that everyone is watching and at the same time, feeling like we’re the only two people in the entire universe.
I know with an unshakeable certainty that I’ll never again stand in a room full of people and still feel alone. Because among the faceless crowd, Raph will always be there. The missing piece of my universe that I didn’t even know I’d been searching for. But now that I’ve found it, I’m certain that I’ll never again feel whole without it.
29
The next couple of weeks feel like th
ey belong to someone else’s life; because my life has been this cold, desolate thing with loss as the only overpowering constant. But now, when I wake up every morning, it’s to the feel of strong arms around me, warmth flooding me and when I lie in bed at night, it’s to the feel of Raph’s body moving against mine, his lips on mine and on every other part of my body, including the most intimate parts that he and he alone knows.
The only overpowering constant now is how much I want him. I thought that the torrent of desire would fade after the first week but it hasn’t, not even a fraction. I can’t seem to get enough of him—the feel of his lips against mine, the taste of him in my mouth. I can sense that it’s the same for him, too, his crazed need for me seems to only get stronger each day. He can’t seem to keep his hands off me, can’t seem to stop kissing me.
In the midst of that insane need, there is also an aching tenderness which makes me feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at a deathly drop which would most definitely shatter me into a million pieces, if there isn’t anyone there to catch me at the bottom. Sometimes he has those nightmares of his mother that tear him awake, panting in the middle of the night. But I’m there and the way that he holds me each time, makes me feel like I’m the only one who can make those shadows go away.
But it feels like there’s something deeper that draws us together, too. We train together almost every day after Raph’s soccer practice. Dueling against each other, honing our skills. Predictably, he beats me every time. But it’s always close and every duel is a reminder of how perfectly we fit together on an almost primal level. Equals in almost every way. As seamless and as natural as day shifting into night.
The rational part of me knows that this can’t possibly last. There is no happy ending here. At least not for me. But the way that Raph looks at me … as if I’m all that matters in this world, in this universe, makes it difficult to remember that stark truth. Because that truth does still exist. In some ways, everything has changed between us but in other ways, nothing has.
Raph is still the heir to the throne, he still has his future planned out for him. A future which includes his betrothal to Layla. We don’t speak about it, but that truth is there and with the passing of each day, I can feel it growing closer and closer, like a storm looming on the horizon.
“You excited for winter break?” Dani asks as we walk out of second period.
“I love the holidays—it is winter season after all, and no one does winter break like the Aspen Dynasty,” Keller replies.
I hadn’t even thought about it, although I knew it was coming up because Magnus called me a few days ago to arrange for me to be collected so that I could spend winter break at the Evenstar palace.
“I guess it’ll be nice to get a break,” I say. End of semester exams have been kicking my ass lately.
A stab of disappointment hits me when I realize that winter break will mean two weeks of being away from Raph. The Evenstar palace isn’t far from the St. Tristan palace by any means, but I doubt Magnus would approve of Raph sharing my bed there, especially because he has no idea that we’re now …
My train of thought stops there when I realize that I still have no idea what Raph and I are to each other. There are a few things which Raph and I have yet to do—one is to talk about what exactly is happening between us, which makes me utterly foolish. Because it makes me no different from all those other girls who are all too willing to jump into bed with Raph, knowing that he wants nothing more than to satisfy his base desires.
There have been no such other girls since that first kiss between us, though, and some part of me suspects, a while before that, too. But the thought is of little comfort. It’s the same foolishness that has stopped me from bringing up the subject because I’m terrified of the answer. Raph told me that night after the Fall Ball that it’s about more than just that with us. But I still have no idea what that even means or exactly how much more there is, because surely, there isn’t anything more that he can give me. His words return to me then—my life, it doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to my Dynasty, to my throne.
I’m suddenly not looking forward to winter break. Not at all. Raph would be in his palace, under his father’s watch, being reminded of all the duties, all the obligations that make him who he is, the throne that his life belongs to.
“There’s a big Dynasty Winter Ball each year which the Aspen Dynasty hosts. Mostly, it’s just spending time with family though,” Keller says.
“My little brothers terrorize everyone in sight. The Oaknorth Dynasty are pretty close to the Aspen Dynasty, so they spend a lot of time on our estate. You’re free to come along with Lance, if you want, Dani.”
Dani flushes in response.
“Not sure about that. Lance and I are taking things slow still. But my folks live in one of the worker residences of the Aldebran estate, so I’ll be close by.”
Keller rolls her eyes.
“The Aldebran Dynasty usually keep to themselves during the holidays.
“The St. Tristan Dynasty and the Delphine Dynasty though …” Keller cuts off mid-sentence when she realizes what she’s about to say. But I get the gist.
My stomach twists painfully when I realize that with the close links between the St. Tristan Dynasty and the Delphine Dynasty, Layla would likely be spending a considerable amount of time at the St. Tristan palace over the holidays, playing happy families with Raph. Being alone with Raph. He assured me that there’s nothing going on between them. But who am I kidding—he may not love her, but she’s still the most stunning girl I’ve ever seen in real life and she’s made it clear that she still wants Raph.
No hot-blooded male would be able to resist that and although Raph has never spoken about that period of time he spent trying to make things work with Layla for the sake of duty, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that it must have involved physical contact—kissing, touching, having sex. The thought of his hands on her, his lips on her—those same hands and lips which are on my body every night, makes me feel so sick, that it’s an effort to keep walking.
“Hey—you okay?” Dani asks, noticing the change in my demeanor.
I let out a long sigh in an attempt to calm the paranoia raging inside me.
“Yeah, I just realized that Raph and I probably won’t see each other much during the holidays,” I manage to reply.
Understanding dawns on Dani’s face.
“You’re worried about Layla,” she says knowingly, and I wonder how in the relatively short period of time that I’ve known this girl, she’s now able to read me so well.
“Yeah. I mean he told me that he doesn’t love her. I know that there’s nothing like that going on between them anymore. But we haven’t really talked about that side of things much more than that …”
A mischievous glint sparks in Keller’s eyes just then. Some part of me has been uncomfortable with talking about Raph and me in front of Keller at first, but she’s made it clear that although she and Layla have been friends since they were kids, she’s a neutral party. Raph is also her friend and I was surprised to learn that she thinks of me as one, too.
“Uh huh, too much fucking and not enough talking,” she says and I flush crimson in response.
Dani chuckles, but she knows the deal. Because that’s the other thing that Raph and I haven’t yet done, aside from talking about what’s happening between us. Even though most nights we would be clawing at each other, desperate to get closer, I could sense him holding himself back, keeping some part of himself leashed.
If I’m honest with myself, I’d admit that I want more than anything to break that leash and I can sense that he knows that it’s what I want, too. But still, he keeps himself reigned back, always stopping before we get that far. Even when I can feel his body quite literally quake with the effort, and I can see the all-consuming desire darkening those vivid blue eyes until they’re almost black. I know it has something to do with the fact that he knows I’ve never taken that s
tep before, that he would be my first. But some paranoid part of me wonders if there’s more to it than just that.
“They haven’t actually done that,” Dani says on my behalf.
“The fucking, I mean,” she clarifies when Keller looks confused. Because although the walls in Sovereign Hall are thick, I know that some nights they must be able to hear the sounds we’re both making from my room.
Keller’s eyes widen almost comically.
“Hang on, wait. You’re kidding me, right?”
I’m still bright red, and although I feel ridiculously embarrassed, I manage to shake my head.
“No. Fucking. Way. All this time that Raph’s been up in your bed and he hasn’t even tried to go there?”
I shake my head again and Dani, as she always does whenever she asks me this same question, looks as disbelieving as Keller.
“Damn, Jazmine …” she trails off and she looks like she wants to say something more, but is holding herself back.
“What?” I ask.
Keller just shakes her head.
“I’ve just never known Raph to go without,” she says.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love Raph like a brother, but we all know that he’s not exactly one for self-restraint and who can blame him? Hot girls offer it to him on a plate, he takes it. Only Baron can top his record.”
I feel sick to my stomach now, and I don’t want to ask the next question, but I do anyway.
“You think he’s …” I can’t even finish the sentence without feeling like I’m going to vomit.
Keller’s eyes widen again.
“No—no. Of course not….” She trails off.
“At least, I don’t think so. I mean, anyone with eyes and ears can see that Raph is totally sprung on you, I’ve never seen his royal highness like this. Ever. I mean Baron’s having the time of his life teasing Raph about how whipped he is.
“But this is just so unlike him, that I don’t really know what to make of it.”
Keller looks at me thoughtfully.
“If he’s willing to wait for you, then it must be because he feels something really fierce for you,” she says.