I was nothing but a speck of dust, the nothingness you see floating in a beam of sunlight, drifting with the air.
My hand was now holding me back, pinning me to the spot. I had to let go. I needed to let go and let myself rise.
I’m a speck on a current of air, nearly weightless.
I let my fingers unclench, feeling my body drifting higher, carrying me slowly across the way, out of the depths of the looming chasm to safety.
I’d been floating for a few minutes and I could feel myself moving horizontally now, hopefully away from the chasm.
Nothing was certain until I opened my eyes, which I was afraid to do because I might panic. Panicked people dropped like two-ton weights, or at least that was what happened in my mind.
And I am a weightless speck of nothingness.
“You’re flying,” Bautere said from somewhere just below me.
I used his voice as an anchor as I pictured my body drifting softly toward him. A few seconds later, my feet made contact with the ground. I took a breath and opened my eyes to see Bautere and a few of his people all gaping at me.
“You flew,” he said, staring at me.
“It was more along the lines of floating, but I guess close enough.” I was getting technical, but I didn’t have anything else worthy to add.
“How did you do that? I’ve never seen a witch fly without a broom,” he asked, his people looking as intent as he was on the answer.
“I don’t know. I guess desperation does some curious things.” I looked at the gaping hole in the ground a good ten feet away. “I didn’t know Xest had quakes.”
“It doesn’t,” he said, walking closer to it and staring down into the pit that seemed to go on forever.
I stayed where I was, not needing to get anywhere near it again. I’d already seen it too closely.
Xest didn’t get quakes. Some people might’ve said that this was just a coincidence, that it had nothing to do with me. I wasn’t one of those people.
The elation of floating was worn away, down to barely a nub, with the realization that I’d received a warning of things to come. Now I knew what would happen if I didn’t make things right. The fate of Xest, of the people I cared about, was resting in my hands. I could fix this or we could all end up in a bottomless chasm of hell.
“Were you coming here to see me when this happened?” Bautere asked.
“I just… I wanted to walk,” I said. The conversation I’d been planning didn’t need to happen anymore. I already had my answer, and nothing was going to change it.
“I’ll walk you back to town.”
“So the ground just cracked open? Just split in half?” Zab asked, staring at me from the other couch.
“Yeah, something like that,” I said, trying to figure out what Hawk and Bautere were saying on the other side of the room. Obviously, I was part of that conversation. I would’ve known it without their many glances in my direction. Still, they could’ve tried to not be so obvious about it.
“And then you flew out of it?” Bibbi said, sitting beside me.
“More like floated. I didn’t really steer or anything, and there wasn’t any great speed. The fifth wind did most of the work.” I shrugged, thinking about the situation. “Honestly, I don’t think I did anything at all when I really think about the situation.”
Bibbi and Zab were shooting each other looks.
“I really don’t,” I said, my eyes getting drawn across the room to Hawk and Bautere again, as one or the other of them wouldn’t stop looking my way.
Hawk’s tendons looked like they were going to snap. That was never a good sign. He was clearly upset about the chasm situation, which was understandable. I was surely going to get the blame for it, too. Somehow my walking would be the issue. He was the one being stubborn about giving back even a drop of magic. He should be mad at himself. That was why there was a big crack in Xest.
“Bautere said Xest never gets quakes?” I asked, knowing that Bautere was a reliable source but needing to hear it again anyway. Everyone made errors at some point.
“Never. Didn’t even know they could happen,” Zab said, then sipped his tea as if this wasn’t ground-shattering. As if it was just a coincidence.
It had to occur to them that this was because of me, right? They couldn’t believe this was a coincidence.
“You think it’s because of, well, maybe…” It was hard to say the words, because if it was my magic issue, and they weren’t being nice, what if they hated me? I shouldn’t have brought it up at all. Having Zab and Bibbi angry at me today might be the thing that made me crack.
“Because of you? That’s what you were going to say, right? That God and the devil are pissed off you stole all the Xest magic so now they’re cracking Xest open like a bad egg?” Bibbi asked.
“Yeah, something like that.” I fiddled with the fringe on the blanket.
“Could be, but we don’t think any less of you,” Bibbi said, smiling. “I’m sure it’ll get worked out, and no one goes up to those parts anyways.” She shrugged and sipped her tea.
“You’ll figure something out. You always do,” Zab added.
The two of them were sitting there like this was just another day in Xest. Did they not realize the warning? Where this could lead?
“What if it gets worse?” I asked, looking from one to the other.
“You’ve got this,” Bibbi said.
“You will. We’re not worried,” Zab said. “You’re like the witch of all witches. You just flew. You’ll work something out.”
Hawk and Bautere disappeared out the back door, probably to go talk about me some more. Bibbi and Zab went up to bed, but not before relaying the entire event to Musso, Bertha, Oscar, and Mertie as they all filed in to see the floating witch.
I stayed sitting on the couch through the retelling and then after, wondering how everyone could be okay with what had happened. No one was angry at me or mentioned leaving Xest. They all took it in stride, as if there was no relation to the message from the other night.
No. They were being nice. That was all.
The rest of them might be fine with the chasm, but that didn’t mean Hawk wouldn’t be ready to give me the boot. If nothing else, this had to wake him up to the real danger Xest was in by me staying and keeping my magic.
Hawk strode in the back door, as if I’d summoned him somehow. At this rate, I wasn’t quite sure what I could do.
“Well?” I asked before the door had time to shut behind him.
He took one look at me and said, “Well, what?”
“The chasm.”
“Yes.” He walked over and sat on the other couch, looking deadly serious.
Here it came. He was going to kick me out. He’d finally decided I wasn’t good to have around and this was it. I’d have to start over again, and that was fine, because I wasn’t taking everyone down with me. The bottom line: I wasn’t meant to be in Xest. I’d fought to be here, but at some point, I had to accept the reality that maybe I was a problem.
“Until this situation is resolved, you’re going to have to use more caution. Bautere told me how he found you. If you hadn’t figured out how to float, you could’ve died.”
He looked angry enough, but for the wrong reason. Did he not realize what this meant?
“You don’t think that maybe it’s time I give up some magic and go back to Rest?” I asked, hating the sound of the words. Give. Up. Saying those words made my stomach revolt. They turned me into a quitter. I was a lot of things, but that had never been one of them. But did I have the right to keep fighting when I might ruin Xest for all the people I loved?
“What I think is you’re going to have to be more careful,” he said, as if there had been a way to avoid a chasm that opened up underneath you.
“This wasn’t about being careful. This was a message.”
“Things happen. Not everything means something,” he said, getting up and walking away.
He was never going to see reason
. If I listened to him, Xest would end up in flames. I was on my own.
13
Hawk walked over to my desk. “You’re sure you don’t want to come and see Rabbit?” he asked. He’d approached me this morning when he mentioned he was puddle-jumping over to Rest.
My heart ached at missing the opportunity to see her. She’d been my very first friend in Xest, and if it hadn’t been for her depleted magic, she’d still be here. As much as I missed her and wouldn’t mind seeing Salem again, I had too many other issues.
I’d gotten maybe an hour of sleep last night, and that might be an overestimation. When I slept, I’d dreamt of standing at the hill as Xest burned around me. If Hawk was going to be out of Xest, and I had my afternoon free, this was the best opportunity I was going to have.
“I can’t. I’ve got an appointment later with a new client I don’t want to miss.”
His eyes narrowed and a visual interrogation commenced. I sat firm, not budging from my seat, not flinching, not letting my gaze flicker from his. He walked away without too much fuss, but there was a warning in his glance before he did.
I didn’t let it bother me as I went about the rest of my day, working, keeping myself busy until an opening to slip away presented itself.
Hawk was gone and Zab had a light day, so the only ones left in the office were Musso, Bibbi and me. It might’ve been paranoia, but if Hawk was going to leave anyone here with instructions to keep an eye on me, it was Musso. Bibbi was my girl through and through. No way was he turning her, so I had one last hurdle and then I’d be out of there.
“Bibbi, I’ve got a while before my next client. Want to go grab something to eat?”
Her head snapped up and her pencil hit the desk. “Definitely. I’m starving.”
Things had been a bit leaner this past week with Bertha’s new business idea.
Bertha had been upstairs experimenting on recipes all day. So when I asked Bibbi if she was hungry, I knew the answer already.
She was already grabbing her jacket when she glanced at Musso. “You want to come with us?” she asked.
“Yeah, want to come?” I added, hoping he’d decline.
“Wish I could, but…” He let out a long sigh, shaking his head. “I have a taste test today.”
“Want us to bring something back?” I didn’t plan on eating with Bibbi, but I’d make a stop to perk up Musso. This was one sad state of affairs for all involved, but mostly for him. Maybe if we hadn’t had it so good for so long, we’d be happy with what Bertha was dishing out lately. But no, it was like every meal we were a bunch of lab rats, waiting to see if the newest meal would torture us, kill us, or both.
“Not worth the fallout,” he said.
Bibbi and I exchanged glances. It was hard not to remember last week, when we’d made the mistake of bringing Musso some lunch back. Bertha had walked in with her “healthy” dish for Musso. He’d been in the middle of attacking a roast like he was a starving lion in the Serengeti that had finally caught prey after a week-long fast. She’d dropped her tray when she saw what was going on. The horror displayed on her face, you would’ve thought she’d caught him banging some chick on his desk.
He’d responded similarly, dropping the half-chewed hank of meat as he stared back in stunned shock, repeating, “I’m sorry,” over and over as she ran from the room.
“Well, we’ll see you in a few, okay?” I said, taking backward steps toward the exit.
Bibbi was matching my pace, afraid to be left behind.
Musso stared at us as if we were leaving him on an abandoned planet to die a slow death.
Bibbi finally sped up, making a dash for the door. I followed quickly, afraid to be left alone with the guilt.
We didn’t speak of it once we got outside. All it would do was remind us of the dinner looming in the future and our own trial by fire.
“I’m going to have a really big lunch,” Bibbi said, revealing thoughts in line with mine.
She started walking toward the main square, where all the best restaurants were. My steps slowed. I’d planned on grabbing a bite, but knowing where I was heading killed my appetite as fast as Bertha’s new menu did.
“I know I asked you to lunch, but I think I’m going to have to pass.”
“Huh? You just told me not five minutes ago you wanted to go get something to eat,” Bibbi said, looking ahead toward one of her favorite places, Bits and Pieces. Everything they made looked like some weird variation on pulled pork mixed with other bits and pieces. The servings were huge, heaping affairs that could take a solid hour to eat.
This was Bibbi. If I told her my plan, she’d jump right on board. I could’ve told her we were going to sail across an ocean on a dilapidated sailboat, destined to capsize. She might give me a few questioning looks, but she’d climb on board right behind me. That was who Bibbi was. Solid to the core, ready for anything and loyal to a fault.
That was the problem. This boat might capsize, and I wasn’t sinking anyone else with me. I could stand the hit. I wasn’t so sure she could. As much as I would love a co-captain, this was going to have to be a solo voyage. And a secret one at that.
“I do, but I really need to talk to Bautere. I didn’t get a chance to thank him for trying to help me the other day. Why don’t you go to the Watering Hole? Zab’s gone over there, and they’ve got some good food on the menu if you haven’t tried it yet.”
“I don’t know. I’m really hungry, and it’s a bit of a dive.” Bibbi was scowling as if that place couldn’t possibly have edible food.
“You wouldn’t think the food is good, but it is.” I had been drunk when I ate there, but still…
“Okay, I’ll try it, but you know how angry I get about bad food, especially since Bertha’s cooking went downhill. I don’t want Zab to be booted because I’m having a fit. If he gets kicked out, he’ll be in the back room with his sad face on, and no one wants the sad face every night.”
She was right about that. It would be like living with Eeyore. If it was even a possibility, I’d block her from the place myself. But I knew the Watering Hole too well. They had one priority: keeping people drunk and happy. They’d never give Zab, or her, the boot. They’d just get them both drunk. I’d barely made it home from that place on more than one occasion.
“Trust me, it’ll be fine,” I said, waving her off in the right direction.
“Okay, but if I end up punching people, you’re taking part of the blame. I don’t want any lectures about anger management,” she said, but started on her way.
“When have I ever lectured you?”
“You haven’t, but I see the looks.”
“If you have to punch someone, I’ll back you up a hundred percent,” I yelled as she continued on.
“You better,” she yelled back.
With Bibbi on her way, I double-timed it toward the hill. I’d check it out, walk the perimeter, and leave. I didn’t have to make any hard and fast decisions. I didn’t even know if it was the hill that Lou was going to say. There was no danger in checking it out, right? Since this place was part of the other plan to get Lou stuck, the more familiar I was, the better. In a way, this was due diligence. I was being a team player and going above and beyond.
It took me a while to get there, but the moment I neared it, there was a peaceful, serene feeling that immediately called to me, soothing my nerves, as if it had been waiting for me to come here by myself.
I walked around the place, slightly narrowing my path as I lapped it a second time, and then making an ever-shrinking circle the third. By the fifth lap, there was no denying the call toward that spot. It didn’t matter that it was covered in mounds of snow. I could feel the exact location I’d joined with it last time, as if it pulled at me. It had never quite felt this intense or well meaning, either. There was no malevolence in this place, in this feeling. It was dying to help me. Maybe this was how I made everything right?
I circled again, not allowing myself to get too close but still fee
ling its presence. Dread’s magic was here too. I couldn’t ever forget the battle it had been to trap Dread. It would be crazy to do anything that might make it easier for that magic to break free again.
I circled again and then stopped when the feeling overwhelmed me. This spot—there was nothing but goodness here.
I bent slightly, letting my hands graze over the snow in the place it felt the strongest. A feeling of happiness and bliss tingled up my fingertips.
I knelt, telling myself to only lay my hands on top of the snow, and then digging them deep in, ignoring the burn of the cold against my flesh, until there was solid ground. An instant flood of warmth shot through my system. It felt like comfort and warm buns and cocoa on a cold day. It felt so overwhelmingly good that I knew in my heart it was the right thing. I let the feeling course through me, reveling in it. Letting it seep into every pore of my being.
“Tippi.”
Bautere calling my name jerked me out of a haze. I jumped to my feet, wondering how long I’d been kneeling there. The sun was beginning to set, so it had been at least a couple of hours. Time had completely escaped me.
But I hadn’t gotten stuck. As soon as I’d gone to move, it hadn’t tried to keep me.
“I heard you were about.” He looked to the place I’d just stood up from, not saying anything, even as the question was there on his face.
Had his people seen me here? And for how long?
“I actually wanted to thank you for your help the other day,” I said, putting some distance between me and the spot, trying to move his attention away from it.
He nodded. That was the most acknowledgment I’d gotten, and it didn’t bother me at all. Bautere and his people were a hard sort, not inclined toward frivolities and compliments. They didn’t stand around all day patting each other on the back and talking a big game. But when the game was afoot, he’d be there kicking ass without anyone having to ask for his help. In my book, that wiped out the need for fluff and show or whatever other niceties people who lived in cushy little worlds might expect.
Witch of All Witches: Tales of Xest #4 Page 8