“Take this under advisement as well,” I leaned forward, “I have dealt with a lot of crap from the Guardian Angels recently,” I said referring to Nolito, hoping that he’d understand my reference, “and I think it’d be a good repayment to make my suggestion a reality.”
Traugott got up from the table, and came over to my side of the table, standing close enough to touch me.
“I will if you do something for me.” I was so over deals doled out by Angels.
“Maybe. I won’t agree blindly, I’m not naïve enough to agree to anything without some thought these days.”
“I don’t want you to take a place with the Angels.”
He didn’t want me to be a leader amongst the Angels. Luckily, I hadn’t even considered putting myself in the running for that. I didn’t want that kind of responsibility and I didn’t want to answer to that high of a higher up. But he’d caught me off guard. Of course, who I chose to lead was so far from my mind I couldn’t even see it on the horizon. But now I was curious.
“Why?”
“You would take my place.”
I studied Traugott’s face. Looking for any of the things I had seen countless numbers of times on Nolito’s face. I saw nothing but openness. It was refreshing.
I didn’t really want a spot with the Angels, what I wanted was for Serafine to be able to get away from the Angels instead of feeling like she couldn’t leave. She had given up so many years of her life for me, it was the least I could do for her.
“Done. I won’t choose to lead among the Angels.”
“Then yours is done as well.”
Three things had happened. One, I had sealed Serafine’s release from the Guardian’s, as long as she petitioned as she said she would; two, I had taken away the choice of becoming an Angel, narrowing my choices; and three, I felt good about my relationship with Traugott.
Turns out the road that lead to my roots was the one I should’ve taken in the first place. I just hadn’t realized it before.
~IX~
“…I’m afraid for your soul, these things that you’re after, they can’t be controlled. This beast that you’re after will eat you alive and spit out your bones.”
-The Oh Hellos, Eat you Alive
I was pouring over the book again. The past few days I had been doing the translations on my own. Az had opted to work at a separate time than me. I had felt a little bit of relief in the choice he’d made. Being in the same room together was hard on both of us. It confused him and it frustrated me.
The more I worked on the book, the easier it was for me to understand. I didn’t tell Az, but I had begun taking the pages he was making sense of and correcting them. I knew it was probably pissing him off but I couldn’t help it, nor would I if I could. If I thought it was wrong then I would change it. It was a little cocky but the book had actually started giving me the feeling when something was wrong and when it wasn’t. The translations were becoming second nature and I knew when Az was wrong as though the book itself was guiding my hand.
“You’ve been in here for a while. Are you okay?”
I jumped at the initial sound of Cade’s voice. I hadn’t heard him come in, I had been so absorbed in the book.
“Yeah, just working on getting this done.”
“Az said you might need a little time off. Fergus said you haven’t shown up in the last few days to work on your…witchy stuff.”
“To work on spells, my Craft. I’m just trying to get this done. I don’t know how much longer I’ve got until Mastema comes for me.”
“Have you asked Fitzroy if he’s heard anything?”
“No.”
“Isn’t that the deal you made with him? A deal, I might point out, that put quite a wedge between Anie and Fitz.”
“It is, but I need –”
“A break. You need a break.”
Maybe Cade was right. Maybe I did need a break. I hadn’t realized I’d been working so long on the book. I realized as I looked at my watch that I’d been working on the translations for the past ten hours. How had that happened?
“What did you have in mind?”
“How do you feel about a swim?”
“It’s dark out.”
“I think we’ll be okay.”
I took the book to the safe we’d put in the conference room. It was spelled and locked every night. I placed the book inside and locked the safe. But once it was locked up, I wanted to get it out. I didn’t want to leave it behind. It needed me. Cade took my hand, physically having to pull me away from the safe.
“Laney.” Cade was shaking my hand and arm. I snapped my head to him. “I don’t think you should work on the book by yourself anymore.”
The book was telling me that I shouldn’t listen to Cade. But I would tackle that fight with Cade later. I walked out of the room without so much as a backwards glance at the safe, but it took effort. A lot of effort.
Cade dropped me off in my room and I changed into the white bathing suit that was lying out on the bed. Apparently, there had been some planning happening for this little night swim. I grabbed a towel out of my bathroom, leaving my feet bare. I felt the pull of the book from downstairs. I had the uncontrollable urge to go down and take it out again. I tried ignoring it but wanted to give in.
I opened the door, fully intending to go downstairs and get the book, but ran into Cade’s chest instead.
“You ready?” He asked.
No. I needed to do some work. Instead, I said:
“Let’s go.”
Cade had me walk in front of him. I got the distinct impression that he was doing that purposefully.
We made our way outside and he started running, pushing me in front of him.
“Cade, what the hell?! Stop pushing me.”
“Don’t you want to win the race, Laney?”
Nope. I wanted to turn around. The further we ran/jog/walked away from my Granddad’s house and the book, the more I wanted to go back.
“Not particularly.” I turned to go back to the house but Cade picked me up over his shoulder, so all I could see was his back and kept running. What had gotten into him? I could hear chanting now and smelled something burning, but still could only see Cade’s back. He was running so fast, I couldn’t even lift my head to look around.
Cade stopped abruptly and dropped me on the ground. I stood up, being able to see for the first time since Cade had gone caveman on me. There were cloaked figures standing in a circle surrounding me. Az, my Dad, Anie, Fitz and Cade stood in a group outside the circle. The only one without a cloak was my Granddad.
“I told you to watch yourself around that book,” My Granddad admonished me. “You’re covered in darkness now.”
I was stuck. I looked at the ground and realized I couldn’t move. There were stones around me. I could feel magic containing me. I had a flashback of when Nolito had kidnapped me. I tried to move, but I couldn’t. I wanted the book, I needed the book. I needed it more than air. More than anything.
“Listen, Granddad. I just need to get some work done. I’ll go back to the book and get it done. I’ll be careful around it, I promise.”
From over my shoulder I heard Az.
“Delaney, you’ve translated almost the entire book. I saw your work the other night, when you left the book in the safe for the two hours you slept. Why do you think I’ve been doing my work separately?”
“Because you hate me?”
“No, it’s because you wouldn’t let me work. You were keeping everything – changing what I’d done.”
No way. I knew I had been changing some of his work, but that had come after he’d decided to work by himself. Wasn’t it? I couldn’t have it almost done. It felt like I had so much more to finish.
“He’s riaght. Der cahnt be dat much left to trahnslate. I went wit heem to lahk at it.” Fitz said. I looked and saw he was holding Anie’s hand. Anie looked distressed.
“You’re not going to like this, Lass. But we have to.” My Granddad s
aid. The chanting got louder. As it got louder, my Granddad raised his arms.
“Cleanse this child. Let the darkness soak back into the black of the book, the black of the world, the black of this night.”
I could hear the pain before I felt it. I screamed and then felt indescribable pain. It was eating me from the outside in. I clawed at my skin to get the pain to stop. I didn’t even feel the pain of the deep scratches I was drawing in my own skin.
From far away, over the chanting, I could hear a guttural scream. It wasn’t mine, but the pain of it I could feel in my chest, my heart, even, maybe, my soul. But who knew with the pain that was lancing through me.
“I’ll hold her. Let me help her. She’s going to claw all her skin off!” It was Az who was yelling over the maelstrom of chanting.
“I can’t do that, Azrael. It’s too dangerous for you to attempt.” That was my Granddad.
Funny, I could still tell who was talking with all the clawing and screaming I was doing. The pain stopped for a second. I fell onto my side, the pain no longer holding me up anymore. My body taking the break it was given.
Tears clouded my vision but I could see Az laying on the ground next to me, just outside of the rock circle holding me.
“Please make them stop.” I would’ve done anything to make the pain stop. I could still feel the pull of the book, though. At least I recognized it wasn’t natural. “I know the book was controlling me. I won’t let it. I promise.”
Az lifted his head and from the look on his face, I knew the answer.
“If I could change this for you, I would.” Az said.
Then the chanting started again. I tried to reach for Az, and while I could now move, I couldn’t get out of the circle, as though my hand had hit a glass wall. I cried harder. I wanted Az. Even if he didn’t remember our love, I wanted his comfort.
The chanting reached the pain point, and I started screaming. I didn’t claw at my skin anymore; it was deeper than that now. I bit my lip, trying to contain my pain, and my teeth easily slid through, top jaw meeting bottom jaw. I held my arms together over my knees and tried to get as small as I could as blood poured from my mouth. I pulled at my hair and it came out in handfuls. Then I did what I had done the last time I needed help: I prayed.
“God, please make it stop!”
I felt Angel magic and saw Serafine standing next to Anie.
“I’m sorry Laney,” She said quietly, but I still heard it. She couldn’t answer my prayer.
“Delaney look at me!” Az roared. I turned my eyes to him. He was on his knees outside of the circle. His face etched in pain. There were tears running down my face, mixing with the blood on my chin and chest. “I know it hurts. But you’ve got to hold on. Be the strong woman I know you are.”
“I can’t.” I said hoarsely through clenched teeth, my voice almost completely gone from the force of my screaming. “Please, just let me go.”
“Fergus I will do anything. Let me in the circle to help her!” Az was looking over my head, his eyes blazing a red color I hadn’t seen in a long time. I closed my eyes. I knew my Granddad wouldn’t let him in.
I was shaking violently, my body, no doubt, in shock. I was going to die alone in a spelled circle while my friends and family looked on. I gave up on opening my eyes and allowed my tears to spatter the grass underneath my head. I threw up a moment later. The pain had moved so deep, I wanted to get a sword and cut it out.
I felt arms wrap around me. While I swam through a sea of dark dismal pain, warmth surrounded me. Familiar warmth. I continued shaking but I could hear Az in my ear as he held me on his lap whispering.
“I love you Laney, you frustrating woman. Just hold on. Hold on, hold on…” He kept chanting it over and over.
The amount of pain must’ve been giving me auditory hallucinations because I swore Az told me he loved me. But that wasn’t possible.
I screamed again as the pain ate my chest and spine. With one last pierce of pain, I could feel the darkness leave me. The last pull of the book and then the feeling was gone. I looked up from where I laid on Az’s chest, trembling but less violently and utterly exhausted.
“How’d you make it in?”
“Nothing could keep me away from you.”
And with those lovely words that I was sure I imagined, I blacked out. Shaking, but warm.
~X~
“You’re so busy changing the world, Just one smile can change all of mine, We share the same soul.”
-Jack Johnson, Angel
I had no idea how long I’d been out for. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The first thing I noticed, as I was coming around, was the absence. I could no longer feel the book and it felt like a missing limb. I hadn’t realized what kind of hold it had on me until it was completely exorcised from my system.
My Granddad was right, I should’ve been more careful. I had always felt possessive of the book, but it got progressively worse the more I touched the book. And I was touching the book, pretty much constantly, for three days straight. It consumed my every thought. I had even dreamed about it, and at the time that hadn’t seemed weird – because I was being controlled. The darkness had gotten in and didn’t want to let go. I could understand more now about how my Father had felt being possessed by the Black Shadow.
I heard movement next to me. I finally gathered the strength, and courage, to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was the wall of the room. The next thing I saw was a chair next to the bed that had a man’s clothes all over it. There was a pair of worn jeans, with a hole in the butt. I knew those jeans. I flopped onto my back and looked at the ceiling.
“Thank God. I didn’t think you were going to wake up.” Az was lying in the bed next to me.
“Did you just say Thank God?” I croaked and laughed. When had he started praying to God?
Az smiled hugely and I saw love in his eyes. I licked my lips and felt stitches.
“Fergus insisted on sewing up your lip. You bit clean through it, almost bit your lower lip clean off. I told him you’d heal fine, we argued about it but he won.”
The skin was already smooth on the inside. I wondered if I’d even have a scar.
“What happened to the book?”
I only asked because I couldn’t feel it anymore and was still concerned about whose hands it fell into. Az froze in shock, like he was about to have to put me through all that pain again.
“No, I just want to make sure that it’s not going to prey on someone else.”
Az looked visibly relieved with my explanation.
“We all know to touch it with the gloves on. Your Grandfather has locked it up though and hasn’t let anyone near it. Spelled the vault so no one can access the book, let alone the vault.”
Az moved his hand cautiously toward my face. He slowly brought his hand down and moved the hair out of my eyes.
“What if I had lost you. I don’t know what I’d do without you Laney. I had never felt that kind of fear. The thought of never seeing you again – ”
I frowned, and studied Az’s face, but more than that, I felt his emotion. It was pain and love. All encompassing suffocating, wonderful love. He remembered who I’d been to him.
“You remember.”
“I never really forgot. It felt like I was in a fog. I was always reaching for you, but just didn’t know why I was.”
Az pulled me gently into his arms and held me. I put the arm that wasn’t pinned under me around Az. I never thought I’d see the day when he’d come back to me. Az held me to his chest and I just breathed. During the painful purge of the dark magic, I truly believed I would die in that circle, never to breathe again. I also believed that Az and I would never make it back to one another. So breathing in the scent of my Azrael was a quiet but profound gift.
“How?” I asked him.
“I put the ultimate sacrifice out there to get to you. I told Fergus I would do anything.”
“What did he have you do?”
“I’m glad you made the sacrifice, I’m just nervous as to what that means for the protection spell.”
“I’m sure Kai will be back again. You can ask him.”
“Kai was here?”
“He felt the shift in the spell when I made the sacrifice.”
I pulled my sleeve up and looked at the compass, it looked the same.
“Is the spell moot now? Has it been broken?” I was as close to a panic as I could get being as drained as I felt.
“You tell me.”
I could see the concern written in his posture. Az feared I had lost my mojo since I’d been through such a rough power separation. I was a little concerned myself.
I reached out to find Anie. She was downstairs, royally pissed off and immensely concerned. I frowned. I looked down to make sure I was fully clothed. I hadn’t used my power but to pull people to me. I was weak, but I knew I could use some power. I had the distinct feeling that it actually might help me. I probably should’ve second guessed that little voice after the book, but I would give it a shot.
I stared at the ceiling, distantly hearing Az’s protests.
“Laney, don’t do this right now. Seriously.”
I didn’t respond.
“I will tie you down! Wait till you have the strength.”
I felt the invisible path from me to Anie open and I pulled the string, thinking of me needing to get to wherever she was. On a gentle breeze I landed on the couch right next to her.
“Jesus Christ!”
She pushed me and jumped over the back of the couch, arms up and ready to fight. She dropped her arms like sacks of potatoes when she saw it was me.
“What is wrong with you!?”
My hair was still matted by sweat, grass and dirt. The only clean part of me was where my Grandfather had stitched my lip together. I could only imagine how bad I looked. I felt arms come around my neck and warmth wrap around me.
Destiny: A Hunter's Novel, Book 3 Page 6