by Alice Ross
‘Are you sure?’ he heard himself saying. ‘I won’t be very good company.’
Her smile widened, causing something in the pit of his stomach to flutter.
‘That doesn’t matter,’ she said softly. ‘You look like you need someone to talk to.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you really sure you want to be that someone?’
‘I am.’
Neither of them said a word as they made their way across the lawn to the cottage. Neither of them said a word as they entered the cottage. Nor was a word uttered while Annie made the tea and Jake manoeuvred himself into a chair at the table. It was only when the steaming teapot was placed on the table and Annie sat down opposite him that Jake said,
‘This is really very good of you.’
‘Isn’t it?’ She grinned as she reached for the teapot.
Jake couldn’t resist a smile. ‘I hope Pip turns up soon. My lap’s feeling a bit redundant.’
Annie tipped the tea into his mug. ‘I’m sure he will. I’m just being over-anxious because he’s never gone off before.’
‘Well, if he’s any sense, he won’t be away long. I wouldn’t if I lived here.’
God, had he really said that? Judging by the strange look Annie slanted him as she slid the mug of tea across the table, he clearly had. Well, if such personal confessions were tripping off his tongue so blithely, he’d better get a grip. Otherwise he might end up telling her way more than he intended. And that really would be taking things too far.
‘So,’ said Annie, now filling her own cup. ‘What does Tanya think of Buttersley?’
Mid-stretch for the milk jug, Jake stared at her nonplussed for a few seconds trying to recall who Tanya was. Oh, of course. That Tanya. ‘I have no idea,’ he admitted, picking up the jug and adding a splash of milk to his tea. ‘I’ve hardly spoken to her. She’s all over Jasper like a rash.’
Annie’s eyes widened. ‘Goodness. No wonder you’re upset.’
Jake shook his head as he set down the milk jug, picked up a teaspoon and stirred his drink. ‘God, no. I didn’t mean – I mean Tanya and I aren’t romantically involved or anything. She’s a business acquaintance, that’s all.’
Annie’s brow furrowed. ‘But the way she spoke to you. It was …’
‘Suggestive?’
Annie nodded.
‘Which would normally have had me running a mile,’ Jake explained. ‘Unfortunately, at the moment, I can’t run anywhere.’
‘She’s very attractive,’ said Annie.
‘I suppose she is. If you go for the obvious type. Thankfully I don’t. And I’m not sure where you’ve got this idea from that I’m some kind of Casanova, Ms Richards. Because, I can assure, I am not.’ His tone shifted to serious. ‘There hasn’t been a woman in my life for the last five years.’
Annie’s head jerked up to him. ‘Five years?’
‘Ages, I know.’ Jake raised his cup to his lips and sipped his tea. Now that he’d started, he found himself wanting to tell her more. ‘There’s been nobody since Nina, my last partner …. Since she died.’
Annie’s hand flew to her chest. ‘She died? My god. How?’
‘Car crash. Killed outright at the scene. The other driver didn’t have a cut on him. He was seventeen years old and high as a kite on Ecstasy. The drug Jasper and his crowd are popping right now.’ He set down his cup with such vehemence that a splash of tea sloshed over the edge.
‘Well,’ puffed Annie, evidently horrified. ‘That certainly explains why you’re so angry.’
Jake looked directly into her eyes. ‘There’s more. Nina was four months pregnant. We’d just found out it was a girl.’
Annie’s jaw dropped. She gawped at him for several seconds before stammering, ‘I-I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine how you would ever get over something like that. The shock must have been horrific.’
‘And some,’ confirmed Jake, cradling the mug again. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. When I saw those pills today, it was all I could do not to punch bloody Rupert. The whole lot of them, in fact.’
She nodded. ‘Understandable. I’m sure I’d have felt exactly the same. How long had you been together, you and Nina?’
‘Four years. I was planning on asking her to marry me – even before we found out about the baby. That was the icing on the cake really. Or it would have been …’ He bit his tongue. A red light flashed in his head, warning him he was dangerously close to saying too much, to telling her everything. And where the conversation would then go, he couldn’t begin to imagine.
For a few seconds neither of them said anything.
‘How did you cope? Afterwards?’
Jake set down his mug, leaned back in his chair and raked his hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know that I did really. I made some pretty rash decisions but I haven’t regretted any of them. I packed in my job. Moved to Loch Tay –’
Annie’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. ‘Loch Tay? But I imagined you living in a cool apartment in some trendy part of London.’
Jake shook his head. ‘Used to. Not any more. Don’t think I could stand even a weekend in the Big City now.’
‘But how do you …? I mean, if you don’t live in London how do you manage to keep up with Jasper and the gang?’
‘I don’t,’ he confessed, fiddling with his teaspoon. ‘I hadn’t seen Jasper for years before Nina died. We were in the same college at Oxford and I used to bump into him around London after we graduated. But I was never a fully-fledged gang member. I was far too busy working – which obviously meant we had very little in common.’ He raised his eyes to her. ‘Does that make me sound like a total freeloader for accepting the invitation to the manor?’
Annie didn’t reply. An unfathomable expression hung over her face which provided him with no clue as to whether she was gripped with interest or bored to distraction. Most likely the latter.
‘Sorry if I’m boring you,’ he said. ‘It’s not exactly laugh-a-minute stuff, is it?’
He was relieved to see her lips stretch into a warm smile. ‘It’s real life. And no. I don’t think you’re a freeloader at all. Although, I must admit, I sometimes feel like one.’
‘You? Whatever for?’
Annie lifted her shoulders in a shrug. ‘I live rent-free in this lovely cottage. Some might call that taking advantage.’
‘I don’t know who. You look after the place don’t you? Beat up any would-be burglars? In fact, having experienced your security measures first hand, I think the P.S.’s should pay you danger money.’
Annie giggled. ‘Nice idea. Fortunately there aren’t many burglars around here.’
‘Precisely why. No would-be thief dare come within a mile of the place knowing you’re on guard. Seriously, I bet it’s a weight off the P.S.’s minds having someone as reliable and conscientious as you on the doorstep.’
Annie’s giggling ceased and she heaved a sigh. ‘I don’t know about that, but the arrangement has certainly proved a lifesaver for me. When Lance left I couldn’t afford to stay in London. It was Portia’s idea I move here.’
Jake’s jovial tone switched to empathy. ‘It must have been tough for you. When he left.’
She nodded, her eyes fixed to a spot on the table. ‘It was. Although, nothing like what you’ve been through.’
Jake raised his brows. ‘I don’t know about that. I only had myself to think about. You had Sophie too.’
‘And still have thankfully.’ Her hand flew to her mouth as her eyes met his. ‘Sorry. I should have worded that better.’
‘It’s fine,’ he said, smiling. ‘I know what you meant. She was the one good thing to come out of the mess.’
Annie nodded. ‘She certainly was.’ She broke off, her gaze back on the spot on the table. ‘Lance has contacted me a couple of times recently, which is most unlike him.’
Jake felt as though someone had just kicked him in the stomach. He raised a questioning eyebrow.
‘He wants to come
to Yorkshire to see us.’
‘Is that so unusual?’ Jake’s earlier nausea had returned with a vengeance.
‘Very. We always have to go down to London to see him.’
‘Maybe he’s got something important to tell you.’
‘Hmm.’ Annie took a deep breath in, leaned back in her chair and linked her fingers around her mug. ‘But that’s enough about me. We’re supposed to be talking about you.’
Her tone was bright, but Jake noted the anxiety written all over her lovely face.
‘We have,’ he said. ‘And I feel a whole lot better for it.’ He stifled a yawn. ‘Jeez, I’m boring myself never mind you.’
Annie smiled sympathetically. ‘You look shattered.’
‘I am.’
‘And I don’t suppose you feel like going back the manor tonight.’
At that prospect, Jake shuddered. ‘I’m not. I was going to ring the pub to see if they had a room but it’s probably a bit late now. It doesn’t matter though. There’s a couple of sleeping bags in the car. I’ll crash there.’
Annie’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. ‘In the car? I can’t let you do that. Not when there’s a perfectly comfortable sofa here, a downstairs loo, and hot and cold running water. And, you never know, we might even be able to stretch to breakfast.’
Jake’s heart skipped a bit. There she was again – caring for him. And it felt just as good as the evening she’d ferried him to the hospital. He smiled at her, noting how the evening sun, streaming through the open door, highlighted the natural golden streaks in her hair. She looked utterly gorgeous. But that was no excuse for him taking advantage of her good nature again. He’d been enough trouble already.
‘It’s very kind of you to offer, but I couldn’t. I’ve already ruined your evening chucking all my emotional baggage at your door.’
‘What’s a few more cases when my own pile is sky high,’ said Annie, grinning. ‘Now, do you want to go through to the lounge while I bring down the bedding?’
‘You sure about this?’
‘I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t. Besides, I wouldn’t get a wink of sleep worrying about you in the car so you have to stay here.’
‘Is that an attempt at emotional blackmail?’
‘Possibly. Is it working?’
‘Possibly.’
Grinning across the table at one another, their gazes fused and, just as in the shop that morning, Jake felt a strange chemical reaction overtake him. One that made the air crackle with tension, one that obliterated every other thought from his mind, one that made him aware of nothing else, nobody else – other than Annie.
Neither of them moved for several long seconds, until a gaggle of female laughter outside shattered the moment.
Jake gulped and cleared his throat. ‘Well,’ he said, trying to act as though nothing in particular had happened. ‘The, um, sofa it is then.’ He pushed back his chair, completely forgetting about his crutches. They clattered to the floor.
‘Sorry,’ he grimaced. ‘I hope I haven’t woken Sophie.’
‘Unlikely. Panda earmuffs are a wonderful invention. You stay there. I’ll get the crutches.’
Annie scurried around to his side of the table and retrieved the crutches. As she handed them to him, Jake’s hand brushed against hers, causing a bolt of electricity to shoot up his arm. Annie looked equally as startled. She was so close he could smell her strawberry shampoo. As she gazed up at him, her lips parted slightly. That movement caused every one of Jake’s senses to rocket into orbit and, before he knew what he was doing, he had thrown down the crutches, pulled her into his arms and crashed his mouth down on hers.
Just as Annie promised, the sofa was extremely comfortable. Not that it made an ounce of difference to Jake. He could have been lying on a pile of six luxury mattresses with satin sheets and eiderdown pillows and he still wouldn’t have slept. Gazing up at Annie’s lounge ceiling, he replayed the events of the last twelve hours over and over again. As days went, this definitely ranked as one of the weirdest. First, there had been that strange ethereal moment in the shop with Annie, which Tanya’s untimely arrival had put an end to. Then, before he’d had time to get his head around either of those things, Jasper and his crowd appeared – with those bloody pills. All of the above, though, had been blasted out of the water by the evening’s events – or, to be more precise, the kiss with Annie. The memory of how good she’d smelled, how her body yielded against his, how she’d returned his kiss every bit as eagerly, caused some serious stirring under his thin duvet. And now she was upstairs, mere feet away from him, in her bed. What would happen if he managed to scramble up the stairs and –?
Good god. What was he thinking? He jerked bolt upright on the sofa, causing Pip, lying alongside him, to raise a dubious eyelid. He didn’t know what would have happened if the dog hadn’t arrived back when he did. Things would either have escalated to the next level, or there would have been a very awkward moment.
‘So, little fella,’ he whispered. ‘What now?’
Pip didn’t reply. And Jake found himself similarly devoid of answers as a torrent of other questions hailed down on him. What was he going to say to Annie? How could he face Sophie? What was happening to him? Where was all this leading? He had absolutely no idea. The only thing he knew was that he was in way over his head – and sinking at a rate of knots. Great waves of panic began crashing over him. His heart hammered wildly against his ribcage. He suddenly felt as though a hippopotamus was sitting on his chest, he could scarcely breathe. He was on dangerous ground here. Very dangerous. And for both his sake and Annie’s he had to leave Buttersley – immediately.
CHAPTER TEN
Following the kiss with Jake, it had taken Annie hours to get to sleep. Her mind had whirred with memories of how wonderful it had felt to be in those strong arms, to press herself against that muscular body, to feel his lips on hers. She couldn’t remember when she’d last experienced passion like that – if indeed she ever had. Every one of her senses had been overpowered with the need to feel him, taste him, smell his scent, drink in his very essence. She didn’t know what would have happened if Pip hadn’t wandered in when he did, but she suspected it might have involved looking at the kitchen table in quite a different light this morning. Just as she was viewing Jake in a different light. She’d guessed there were hidden depths to the man and she’d been right. But quite how deep, she’d had no idea. She couldn’t begin to imagine what he must have been through, but it certainly explained the pensive slips of mood she’d noticed in the past. She was glad she’d been able to provide a shoulder for him to cry on. Glad that, after a bumpy start, she could relax in his company, and enjoy it. She sighed contentedly as she stared at the ceiling. It was still early but the sun had already risen and was peeping around the edges of the gingham curtains. Her mind wandered to Jake asleep on the sofa downstairs – probably wearing nothing but his boxers. A frisson of excitement shot down her spine. But it was tempered with anxiety. As much as she would love to get to know him better, Jake’s time in Buttersley was limited. He would only be around for a few more weeks. And where would that leave her then?
Jake had never known rain like it. The moment he’d arrived back in Scotland, the heavens had opened. And they’d remained open for the last two weeks, great stair-rods of water pelting down from a metal-grey sky. It felt as though the end of the world had arrived.
His journey back over the border had been equally depressing and had taken twice as long as normal, the pain in his ankle forcing him to make annoyingly frequent stops. He really shouldn’t have been driving but he hadn’t cared. Everything at the time had paled into insignificance compared to his need to escape Buttersley.
With the benefit of hindsight of course, he realised he should not have accepted Annie’s invitation back to the cottage that evening. His head had been all over the place and being in her kitchen had not helped at all. But the real problem had been Annie. When she’d been so close he could smell
her strawberry shampoo, he’d completely lost it. Every one of the traits that had made him the most successful fund manager in Europe had evaporated in a puff of smoke. He might be able to hold his nerve when the markets pirouetted around him but put Annie Richards in front of him and every ounce of his implacable resolve turned to mush. So much so that he hadn’t been able to resist kissing her. And that had been the biggest mistake of all.
The kiss had detonated a hole the size of the Grand Canyon in the wall around his heart allowing a raft of emotions to float out. Emotions he had neither expected nor wanted to feel again. The exposure had left him utterly terrified – for both him and Annie. Because, when Jake had told her about Nina, he had deliberately missed out a large part of the story …
When Nina told him she was pregnant, Jake had been overjoyed – so overjoyed he arranged a romantic surprise for her. He booked a fairy tale cottage in the Cotswolds for the weekend. He ordered flowers, compiled a CD of her favourite music, and arranged for a top London chef to come down and make a special dinner for them. He wanted everything to be perfect. Because, that weekend, he intended asking Nina to marry him. He was going to go down on one knee and present her with a specially-commissioned dazzling diamond ring. And, if all went according to plan, she would say yes, and they would live happily ever after. Only, as they all knew, things hadn’t gone according to plan.
On the way to the cottage, on a quiet Gloucestershire road, Nina – and their unborn child – had been killed. Naturally everyone had blamed the driver of the other vehicle – the spotty youth who had been off his head on Ecstasy. But while it was the youth’s car that had ploughed into them, there had been another perpetrator to the crime – a perpetrator who had put Nina in that precise spot at that precise moment; a perpetrator whose implication seemed invisible to everyone but himself; a perpetrator who had unwittingly slipped through the net, eluding the punishment he so richly deserved. And that perpetrator was Jake. He’d known Nina hated driving, particularly on country roads, but still he went ahead with his plans – putting his own selfish wishes before anything else. He might have kidded himself all the preparations were for Nina but, in hindsight – and with hours of contemplation – he had concluded they were more to boost his own ego. Why couldn’t he just have proposed to her when the urge had taken him a few weeks before? When it would have been completely spontaneous? But of course he hadn’t. He had to pull out all the stops. In an ostentatious way that now made him nauseous. He had all but pushed Nina into that car. Were it not for him and his fanciful romantic notions, she would never have been on that road, would never have been anywhere near the Cotswolds or the spotty drugged-up teenager. She would be alive. And so, too, would their child.