Sighing, I look out of the window to my right and catch my reflection. Reaching up, I touch a dark curl, which has come loose from the clips holding the majority on the top of my head. I haven’t bothered with make-up, apart from the pink lip-gloss I’ve slathered over my plump lips. Ramon told me I look sultry. Whatever that means.
I slide my hand down the fine silk of my wraparound dress. The dress caresses my curves and the high heels on my feet make me look good. Unfortunately, I haven’t dressed for Sebastian. If I’d known he was going to be here, I would have worn more clothes. The first chance he gets, Sebastian will probably find something cutting to say about my appearance, sending a dagger of pain straight through me.
With a heavy heart, I realize I can’t stay hidden in the pantry all day, but maybe I can get away with a few more minutes.
Chapter 2
Sebastian
Why am I dragging my feet about attending Lily’s baby shower? I ask myself for the hundredth time, but I know the answer – Carla. One meeting at my brother’s wedding and I can’t forget about her. Every time I shut my eyes she’s there – smiling at me the way she has done over the past few months whenever I catch her at a weak moment. Other times, it’s more like a scowl.
I can’t blame her really. Every time we meet, I go out of my way to avoid her and when we’re brought together I hardly speak to her. I’m an idiot. I’m in my thirties and acting like an embarrassed, teenage boy with my first crush.
It really claws at my gut that she’s with my brother and regardless of whether or not she stays with Ramon, which isn’t likely if she reacts to me the way she does, I can’t date her. In my early twenties, we’d all made a pack, never to date a brothers’ ex. A pack we’d kept all these years. Fuck.
Jumping down from the fence, I turn to make my way back to my parents’ house, having detoured on arrival to avoid going in.
As I climbed out of Ruben’s truck, both he and Ramon had given me a strange look, but what the hell. We were suppose to meet Michael at his house after he’d gotten back from dropping Lily at the ranch, but my besotted brother has decided to do things differently and insisted on staying with Lily.
As I trudge up the steps to the porch my feet feel like lead. I don’t want to go inside, but know I have to. Just like I know that I’ll seek her out and speak to her, which always takes up a lot of my energy. I’m afraid that if I get to know her better, she’ll be even more under my skin than she already is. I’m tired of staying away from her. In fact, I’m damn right exhausted. From today on, I’m going to try and talk to her as an adult instead of a lovesick fool.
I trip on the top step with that thought. Hell no. No way in hell can I be in love with Carla. I don’t do love, not like my sap of a brother, no way in fucking hell.
After the baby shower, I’ll go and hang around Kenza, Ruben’s club, and get laid. That’s all I need, a release from all the tension, which has taken hold of me since I’ve met her. Fuck, I don’t want a nameless fuck. I want my brother’s woman. What kind of bastard does that make me?
And how sick am I? Five months, the exact amount of time since I’d last had sex. Oh, I’ve tried, but every tart that’s thrown herself at me just wasn’t good enough. I always ended up at home, my fist pumping around my shaft as Carla plays dirty games in my head. Sweat beads on the back of my neck just thinking about it. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve beaten off to the image of Carla – each time leaving me more frustrated than the last.
I can’t figure out what’s going on between Carla and my brother. She lives with Ramon, which doesn’t sit well with me considering my obsession over her, but they never act like a couple in love, not like Michael and Lily.
As I reach the door, I run my hands over my face, a physical reminder that I’m allowing a mask to slip back over my features. As my hands run through my already messy hair, I sigh with a heavy heart and brace myself. I’m ready to face Carla. Just as I’m about to push my way inside, the screen door flies open and narrowly misses smacking me in the face.
“What the hell?” I curse, but I’m not sure if I’m cursing at myself for my distraction or at Ramon for running through the door.
“Sorry,” Ramon grins while apologizing, not looking sorry at all.
“Yeah, right,” I mumble under my breath before I push past Ramon and enter the foyer of my parents’ ranch house. The house that I still consider home even after living alone for the past ten or eleven years, give or take.
“Sebastian, you’re here. I asked Ramon to go and look for you.” Lily walks towards me or rather waddles towards me.
A quick glance at my brother causes the grin I’ve been trying to suppress to spread across my face. Michael is pussy whipped, big time.
Michael has been on edge since Lily’s belly started to expand and this isn’t the first time Michael’s followed her around, hovering to make sure she’s okay. Today is no exception and Michael looks like he’s ready to burst a gasket with Lily wandering around ignoring his suggestions.
When Lily reaches me, I pull her into my arms and hold her as close as I can with the huge stomach, which she always displays with pride, between us.
I smirk at Michael who’s come up behind Lily and starts to rub her back.
“You look hot Lily. There is something to be said about sexy, pregnant women, but I think I better give you back to your husband before we end up fighting, which will end up with us both getting dumped in one of the horse troths dad used to be fond of.” I place a kiss to Lily’s forehead.
As I release her, Michael pulls her into his arms, smoothing the hair behind one of her ears. Despite my teasing words, Michael only has eyes for his wife and completely ignores my ribbing.
Just watching my brother with his wife sends an ache through my chest. Will I ever have what Michael has? I wonder as my gaze scans the room. I know who I’m looking for even though it pains me to think of it. Until I met Carla, I never even considered having someone to call my own. Christ, I’m thirty-four and never had a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of weeks. I’ve never been interested, until now, and the woman I want is out of reach.
A slap on the back from my father brings me in to the present.
“I don’t think a day went by without one of you getting dipped in the troth. Fond memories,” Dad laughs, squeezing my shoulder.
“Yeah, and I seem to remember Sebastian ending up in there more than the rest of us,” Ruben interrupts as he walks up and wraps his arm around my neck in a noose, laughing as he does.
Pushing him away, I see Lily standing with her hands on her hips and her huge stomach sticking out. My eyes widen as it hits me – how ready Lily is to give birth.
“All this excitement is going to send me into labor. You do realize that, right?”
If I didn’t feel panicked at Lily’s announcement I’d have laughed at the look on everyone’s face, especially Michael’s.
I rub my hand over my face and point behind Lily so she’d turn to see Michael, who is standing behind her, his face pale and pasty white and he almost looks ready to pass out.
Lily reaches up and takes hold of Michael’s face before pulling him down to meet her lips.
Turning away, I meet my mom’s eyes and she looks to be holding back tears. I finally remove my jacket and hold it in one hand as I pull my mom in for a hug.
“Are you alright, Sebastian?” she asks softly against my chest, keeping her arms around me.
I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can answer her, “I will be.” I kiss her on the top of her head and release her before moving into the room completely.
“Go find Carla. She went to the pantry to retrieve some more lemonade.” Mom gives me a gentle nudge towards the kitchen.
Shaking my head, I wonder if Mom knows how obsessed I am with Carla. I feel as though I’ve kept it hidden well enough, but then again, is it possible to really keep anything from my mom? She used to frighten the hell out of us when we were kids w
ith the things she knew.
At the small office, now an outdoor room for coats, boots, etc., I open the door and toss my jacket onto the rack and miss. With an impatient sigh, I pick the jacket up from the floor shoving it on a peg before turning towards the pantry.
Chapter 3
Carla
The sound of someone grabbing the door handle brings me out of my musing as it suddenly opens and standing in all his masculine glory is Sebastian.
I really haven’t prepared myself for seeing him again, it’s only been ten days since I’ve last set eyes on him, but his whole presence surrounds me and won’t let go.
With a quick glance behind him, he steps into the pantry and closes the door, trapping us together.
My heart beats rapidly in my chest, it’s a wonder he can’t hear it. Unable to move, I stay over by the one window in the room, which I turn to look through, not really seeing anything other than Sebastian’s reflection in the glass as he comes to stand behind me.
I desperately want to lean into him. To feel his body against the length of my back, but I know if I do it will be even more difficult to stay away from him. I’ve always avoided anything that would bring us into contact with each other, as in skin-to-skin. Even when passing a dish or a drink to one another, we always make sure our hands don’t touch.
“Carla,” he whispers, “look at me.”
Shaking my head, I reply, “No. I can’t.” My voice breaks as my hand goes to my mouth. I feel so close to tears with Sebastian standing behind me, mere inches separating us. The heat coming from his body beckoning me, I can always feel him.
“Please just look at me – turn around and look at me – please,” he whispers, his voice pleading.
A tear escapes and trickles down my cheek, hearing the man behind me practically begging me to turn and look at him is turning my insides to mush.
Taking a deep breath, I turn and face the object of my desire. My eyes travel up his torso and linger around his whisker covered jaw and sensual mouth before meeting his eyes.
I want to take that one step into his arms, but force my feet to stay firmly in place.
“We can’t stay in here,” I croak, unable to get my vocal chords working properly.
“Carla, what’s going on with my brother?”
Sebastian reaches out and places his palm against the side of my face in a soft caress, wiping the lone tear away with his thumb. I lean into the caress without breaking eye contact with him as he brings his other hand up to the other side of my face, bringing me in closer to his body.
His touch makes me shiver, which runs through me, if the slight shake to his hands is any indication, he’s just as affected by our touch. Why is something that feels so right, so wrong?
Sebastian rests his forehead against mine with my face still in his hands. He traces a line over my eyebrows, down along my cheekbones ending on my lips with his thumbs.
I need just one taste of him before I leave the pantry, the thought whispers through me as I swipe the tip of his thumb with my tongue.
He sucks in his breath with his eyes alight with passion.
Shit, I shouldn’t have done that.
I pull away from him and make my way to the door, where I stop and turn around to look back at a stunned Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I can’t be close to you because it hurts too much.” I push through the door and let it close on him.
What have I done?
Not only do I have an ache in my chest the size of Mount Everest, I also have a throbbing between my thighs.
It’s been well over twelve months since I’ve had sex, if that’s what it can be called. A night of drunken pawing as my ex-boyfriend tried to maneuver out of his jeans and ended up falling off the bed into a heap on the floor. He hadn’t even managed to get it up before passing out.
I’d known then and there that we were through, a decision I’d gradually arrived at the week before his ‘little’ incident. There had been no love lost between us and until he’d shown up drunk and used his fists on me, I’d thought he’d forgotten all about me.
“Carla, are you alright?”
Lost in the past, I hadn’t realized I’d walked back into the living room. “I’m fine Pippa, just a bit distracted.”
I smile at the small woman overseeing the shower. Sebastian’s mom is a delight and deserves a medal for bringing up five difficult boys, because I’d bet that’s what they’d have been, and still are
. Pippa is intelligent, funny and too shrewd for most people. She doesn’t miss anything and her eyes bore into me as her gaze flicks between Sebastian and me as he enters the room behind. I try to ignore him and Pippa’s look. With a blush starting to work its way up my neck, I smile and nod towards Lily whose being hugged fiercely by a friend that’s just arrived.
I need to escape before I do something stupid, like grab hold of Sebastian’s hand now that he’s moved to stand beside me, with his mom on the other side. The heat from his body is slowly seeping into my skin. My brain is telling me to move away and my heart and body are telling me to grab his hand and never let go.
“Carla, come and meet Sabrina. She’s Lily’s friend from England.” Ramon takes hold of my hand to lead me away. “Think she’s opened Lucien’s eyes,” he smirks.
As he pulls me towards Lily and her friend, Ramon leans in and wraps an arm around my waist. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
“I wish everyone would stop asking me that. I’m fine, just tired.” I try to pull slightly away from him, but his arm tightens and prevents me from moving.
“Carla, I was wondering where you’d disappeared to,” Lily says, as she pulls back from hugging Sabrina, with Michael and Lucien standing like sentries in the background.
“I went to get more lemonade.” Which I’ve forgotten to grab in the pantry with Sebastian distracting me.
Lily takes hold of Sabrina’s arm and turns her around to face Ramon and me. “You’ve already met Ramon, so this is his girlfriend Carla. Carla this is Sabrina.”
Ramon finally releases me so I can hug Sabrina in greeting. “I’ve heard a lot about you and the antics the two of you used to get up to so it’s good to finally put a face to the name,” I say pulling away.
Sabrina is about five months late at arriving back in the States due to the sudden death of her father. Lily had mentioned that Sabrina hadn’t really gotten along with him, but he was her father whom she missed and had stayed to help her mother tie up loose ends.
It has been eight years since they’ve seen each other in person, although they’ve kept in touch via email and more recently Skype. Lily has admitted she’s missed her best friend even though she has gained so many people in her life.
“Oh Sebastian,” Lily says, looking directly behind me just before I feel him slip his arm around my waist as he moves in and shakes Sabrina’s hand.
What is he doing? I‘m practically in his arms. My right breast is pushing into his chest as he holds me tight. Surely he’ll be able to feel my aroused nipples through our clothes and know what he does to me. His arm around me feels like a vice; it also feels right. I reach out to steady myself by grabbing his arm, which brings me even closer.
“It’s nice to meet you Sabrina.” Sebastian has his sexy grin plastered on his face, but I can see how tight he’s holding his jaw. He wraps his fist in the back of my dress bringing me even closer before he abruptly lets me go and turns walking straight out of the room leaving me stunned.
I look around to see if anyone noticed what just happened between us, but everyone is busy talking, apart from Pippa who’s watching me from across the room with a thoughtful expression. It’s anyone’s guess what she’s thinking considering I’m living with one of her sons, but can’t seem to stay away from another. She must have seen my reaction to him.
Chapter 4
Sebastian
Fuck fuck! How the fuck can she be dating my brother when she always reacts to me? I need my head examined, but, for now, a shot of whiskey won’
t go a miss.
“Sebastian, where are you sneaking off to?”
Turning, I watch my dad walk towards me with a grin on his face. He looks good for sixty-four without any of that middle age spread me and my brothers used to tease him about on numerous occasions.
“I need a drink,” I reply with my father standing in front of me. He has the knack of always seeing through my brothers and me so I decide it’s best not to meet his eyes. I also avoid running my fingers through my hair in a nervous gesture.
“Hmm. A bit early. Instead of a drink, go let George in.” My dad points towards the porch in time for us to watch George and Janet reach the door.
“Okay.”
I can hear the laughter going on in the living room as I sigh with relief when my father retreats, which leaves me to do his bidding.
Plastering a smile on my face, I take the few short strides to the door to greet George. George is like family and no matter how many times he’s been told to just walk in, he refuses, but that probably has more to do with him walking in at Michael and Lily’s place and getting a look at more than he bargained for.
Chuckling, I open the door. “George, Janet…and Sylvia.” I frown looking for Sylvia’s car. “No car?”
“In the garage so Janet gave me a lift as she was coming from the city.” Sylvia gives me a flirty smile and moves forward, stopping abruptly as she gives me a strange look. “Um, Sebastian, you planning on letting us in?” Sylvia grins with her purple stained lips. I’m still in the doorway like a brick wall. What the hell’s wrong with me today?
“Sorry.” I step back and follow them through to the living room and, yeah I notice my brother, Ramon’s reaction when he spots Sylvia. What the fuck? My eyes widen in surprise. How can he look at Sylvia like that when he’s with Carla?
Rapture (McKenzie Brothers) Page 2