Tron didn’t have anything to say. In so many ways, everything Shawna was saying was true. He did get some head before going into the club last night. The only thing was that it was from Desirae and not with any of the dancers.
“Shawna,” Tron said in a very serious tone. “I swear, baby. I swear. I ain’t fuckin’ none of them dancers up there.”
“And don’t think that just because I didn’t find shit in your phone that particular night that ain’t nothing to ever find in there. You can delete that shit, I know. Hell, the numbers could be saved under other names. I know the games these niggas play, swearing to they selves that a real woman won’t find out. I’m convinced that you up there fucking somebody, Tron. I can feel it. Why else would Morgan say she saw you turning out of some apartments over on the south side? Huh? Oh, you mighta be doing a U-turn or something, but I’m really thinking that whoever the bitch is, whichever dancer up there, stay somewhere over up in there and that is why yo ass was over there.”
“Fuck this,” Tron said, really feeling like he was reaching his breaking point with his relationship with Shawna. He just didn’t think of himself as being one of those dudes who would stay around and try to put up with a woman who yelled at him like that – with a woman who didn’t treat him like a man.
“Fuck this shit, for real,” Tron said again. This time, he walked right past Shawna and started to head upstairs.
“I thought we was talking, Tron,” Shawna said, looking at Tron’s back moving further and further away from her as he went up the steps. “Tron! Tron!”
If there was one thing that Shawna could not stand, it was when a man just ignored her. She went marching up the steps right behind him, knowing that whatever she said must have struck a chord with Tron. Even further, this meant that what she was thinking really could be going on or else why wouldn’t he want to keep talking about it and try to change her mind. If any man was really innocent, then that is what they would try to do.
Tron, having had enough of all this stress, went into their bedroom and just started to put his pants on. Next thing he knew, there Shawna was again. This time, though, she was talking calmer. It was clear that she was getting more and more into her feelings.
“Tron, why don’t you just tell me?” Shawna asked. “I mean, if you fucked around, you fucked around. You fucked one of them hoes up there. That don’t mean that you got to lie and shit about it, though. And not right to my face like this.”
Tron shook his head, knowing just how far off base Shawna really was. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth. Part of him wanted to tell her that he wasn’t fucking around with any of them hoes up at the strip club and that he was actually smashing a chick who had never danced a day in her life. He knew that some shit like that would shut her up, but there was no real way that he would actually tell her that. He knew that if she were to ever find out about Desirae, it could potentially be World War 3.
“You wrong, Shawna,” Tron said. “You wrong, okay?”
Shawna just nodded her head. “Okay,” she said. “Alright then, Tron. If you say I’m wrong, then I’m just wrong. It’s whatever. I don’t even care anymore. I don’t even care who you fuckin and shit.”
Shawna started to get clothes out of her drawer.
“Where the fuck you goin?” Tron asked, seeing Shawna get clothes out of her dresser then go into the bathroom and round up stuff like she was packing a bag.
Shawna stopped and looked at Tron, rolling her eyes. “You came up here and started putting your pants on and shit. I didn’t ask you where the fuck you was goin.’ Not like you offered, either.”
Tron took a deep breath, feeling frustrated. Times like these – when he and Shawna got into it about just about anything – he wished that he would leave the one he was with and go be with Desirae. At the same time, he knew that Desirae was just something to do. Everything about her, even the way she dressed, had hoe written all over it. She was just a phat ass with a deep throat who knew how to make him feel good. It surely gave him something to think about, though, because he was getting to a point in his life where he was thinking that maybe an ass and a throat was all he needed. Even when Desirae got in her feelings, like any woman does, she didn’t disrespect him the same way that Shawna did; she didn’t talk to him like he wasn’t a man.
“Whatever,” Tron said. “You always looking for a reason out.” He wasn’t really sure where those words came from, but they were the words that came out of his mouth. “That’s coo, though. It’s whatever.”
“A way out?” Shawna asked for clarity. She couldn’t believe what had just come out of Tron’s mouth, especially not after all that she had stuck by him through. He started in the streets, really kind of dusty in a way. Now, he had managed to stay out of trouble with the law and went on to leave that street life behind for a life of owning a club. Shawna felt like she deserved some credit for that and hated when men didn’t see that they had a real woman by their side the entire time.
“Nigga, what are you talking about a way out?” Shawna asked. “Huh, Tron. I fuckin’ love you, but I just ain’t feeling the same from you like I used to.”
Tron looked at Shawna, really thinking for a moment how deep his love really could be for her. His times with Desirae were never this frustrating. She just wanted the dick and she would calm right on down. Tron hated that Shawna was really feeling like he was messing around. At the same time, though, he knew that no matter what he was not going to admit to it. That was a side of his life that Shawna just didn’t need to know about and he planned to keep it that way. He had been doing good so far, he wasn’t about to mess up now if he could help it.
“Shawna, you know I love you, baby,” Tron said. “But I just don’t know about this. It’s like you just be looking for something to be wrong and it just ain’t.”
Shawna watched as Tron said those words and finished getting his clothes on. As far as she could tell, he was being real and truthful. Yet again, she started to feel like she was the one who may have been overreacting. While there definitely was still some suspicion in her mind based on what had happened at the club last night, what happened did in fact only prove that Tyrese was the one fucking around and not Tron. Shawna started to look at that, wanting to see it that way completely, but knowing that the feeling she’d had over the last couple of weeks about Tron must be coming from somewhere.
Shawna just decided to drop it and forget it for that moment. She had so much more she wanted to say, but it was obvious that Tron was getting his clothes on and heading out the door. Shawna, instead, went downstairs and into the kitchen, feeling that she needed something to drink. Within a couple of minutes, she could hear Tron’s boots thumping down the steps. The door opened then closed.
***
As soon as Tron got out to his car, he turned the engine over and pulled out the scraper to brush some of the snow off of his windshield. As soon as he got back into his car and slammed the door shut, he slammed his head back into the seat.
“Fuck,” Tron groaned out loud. “This shit, damn.”
He felt like he needed to smoke, but knew that he didn’t keep any smoke in his car. That was too dangerous dealing with the cops. For several minutes, even after his car had warmed up all the way, Tron sat there. He sat there thinking about everything, feeling like the walls of his world were just starting to close in on him. Tron knew that he loved Shawna in one way, but he always had a thing for Desirae. In so many ways, he wished he could take some of one and some of the other and put together the perfect chick. He snickered at the thought of that even being possible as he pulled out of the parking lot of the complex, not really having anywhere to go on that Saturday afternoon. His Saturdays were usually spent doing the husband-type thing with Shawna before he would have to go into the club at night. And he definitely wasn’t going to call Tyrese. Tyrese lived with Nalique and everything was in her name. Tron already knew that today would definitely not be a good day for Tyrese, especially once Nalique was
bonded out by her family. She had a very tight family, some of which had some good jobs downtown and stuff. Tron was sure that somebody would be bailing her out as soon as possible. With her getting locked up on a Friday night, that meant she would at least be in there until Monday. This, in theory, would leave Tyrese open for a while to chill, but Tron knew that Nalique’s family would be on his case about all of that sooner rather than later. It would just be better that Tron not be around for when all of that popped off.
Tron didn’t feel like chilling with any of the family he had in Nap. They were cool and all, but for how he was feeling, he needed somewhere he could really just chill out. Eventually, this led him to pulling his phone out of his pocket and hitting up Desirae. Tron thought of that head she had given him out in the parking lot at the mall last night before he went to the club. Desirae sure knew how to make a nigga feel good. Tron wasn’t sure if she had to work today, but he needed to bust one so he could chill the fuck out.
Chapter 11
After Desirae and Reese smoked, the conversation had longed moved on from talking about Tron. Instead, one on one couch, the other on another, they both nodded off with a movie playing. Desirae woke up, hearing the heavy buzzing of her vibrating phone on the glass surface of the coffee table. Without even thinking, she reached for the phone and answered, trying to wake up as fast as she could.
“Hello?”
“Baby?”
Half-sleep, Desirae knew that the voice saying hello to her was one that she knew all too well. It was smooth and sexy, but clearly sounded a little angry.
“Tron?” Desirae said, quietly.
“Yeah, baby,” Tron said. “Who else you think it was?”
Desirae giggled. “Nigga, I was just playing,” she said. “I knew it was you. What you doin?”
“Well, I was callin’ to ask you that,” Tron said. “I done got into with her again, Desirae. And all I can think about is you, now. I can’t take her no more. What you doin’ today?”
Desirae woke up even more. “Shit,” she said. “I ain’t doin’ nothin.”
“So can a nigga come through or what?” Tron asked. “I need you, baby. I need you.”
Desirae leaned up on the couch and looked out across the room. “Aight, I be here,” she said.
She was excited; Tron was finally starting to see just like she had hoped. Whatever whatever-her-name-is was doing at home was just driving him more and more to her. And Desirae wasn’t going to complain. In her eyes, his chick was the one who was starting to look dumb for clearly holding on to some man that isn’t trying to be with her.
“Aight then, baby,” Tron said. “I’ll be over there in like thirty.”
When Desirae hung up, she jumped up off of the couch and darted across the room to where Reese was sleeping on the other couch.
“Wake up, Reese,” she said. “Girl, get your ass up.”
Reese started to wake up. “What, Desirae?” she said. “What?”
“He comin’ over,” Desirae said.
At first, Reese didn’t pick up on what Desirae was saying to her. Instead, she lay her head back onto a pillow and started to nod off again. Before she knew it, though, Desirae was trying a lot harder to get her to wake up, saying her name over and over again.
Reese eventually woke up and stood there, trying to understand everything. By the time she had stood up, Desirae was rushing around the apartment. First, she straightened up a little bit. Next thing Reese knew, Desirae was in the bathroom freshening up. Reese just shook her head. “The thirst is real,” she said to herself.
“What was that?” Desirae asked, hearing Reese say something from the bathroom.
“Girl, nothing,” Reese said. “When is that nigga supposed to be here?”
Desirae came rushing out of the bathroom, wearing pajama pants so tight that they looked like she would need scissors to cut her way out of them. “He on his way now,” Desirae said. “Girl, what you doin’ standing there?”
“Well, damn then,” Reese said, starting to get a little offended that she was being rushed out into the winter because Tron called and said he was coming. “I get the point, I get the point. Let me get my shit together so I can get on up out of here then since that nigga is coming. I know you want me to just disappear.”
It wasn’t that Desirae saw Reese as any sort of threat. Reese was pretty, and Desirae knew that, but her friend just didn’t have the kind of body like she had. On top of that, Desirae didn’t want to put Tron in any worse of a mood then he already was. She saw that the more she made her place the kind of place he wanted to be, the more he was coming over. In the three to four months she had been fucking around with him, he had never come over to the south side to see her so much. He was really using all of his free time to be with her. One minute, Desirae was seeing the situation one way, then another she saw it another way. For a split second, she had thought about telling Tron that he couldn’t come over. She knew, though, that she wanted him to come over and that she wasn’t doing a damn thing wrong. It wasn’t her problem if his chick at home wasn’t doing what he needed or giving him what he needed. That was the chick’s problem.
“Girl, I’m sorry,” Desirae said to her girl Reese. “But, I mean, you got that date later you gotta be getting ready for and stuff anyway.”
“Girl, whatever,” Reese said, deciding that she was just through with it all. “I will hit you up later.”
Within a matter of seconds, Reese was gone with the door closing behind her. This left Desirae alone for what would only be a little while, while she got ready for Tron. She went ahead and rolled another blunt, knowing that he would definitely be feeling up to it when he got there based on how he sounded to her on the phone. Plus, she had noticed how frustrated he was when he came around after getting into it with his chick at home.
Desirae made sure that her place was straightened up, the blunt was rolled and out next to a lighter, and that her body was clean and looking its usual flawless. Before she knew it, there was a knock at the door. She hurried over and unlocked it, knowing that Reese had probably locked it behind her when she left. Tron just walked in, with a bit of an angry look on his face. Desirae could pick up on it right away, knowing that it was probably a combination of what had happened last night and whatever had happened with his chick. Now that he was here, though, Desirae definitely wanted to see if he was going to bring the club stuff up. She wanted to know why he felt like he had to lie to her when she has constantly proven that she is the chick who is really going to be there for him when the other one just isn’t.
“You alright, baby?” Desirae asked, walking Tron walk over to the couch and sitting down.
Tron nodded. “Yeah, I’m good,” he lied. Tron thought in the back of his mind how he was double heated (because of the club and Shawna), but he didn’t want to talk about either of them with Desirae. He looked over at Desirae as she locked the door. He couldn’t help but notice how her pajamas were practically being swallowed up by her ass. At that moment, he remembered why he had decided to come through and see her. Every time his eyes fell onto that body, all of his problems just did not seem as bad anymore.
Desirae could tell that he was holding back. She walked over to the couch and got up onto it, next to him, sitting as close as she possible could to him. She went ahead and put her hands up on his shoulders, rubbing them to try to get him to relax.
“What’s wrong, Tron?” Desirae asked. “You know I know you, nigga. I know when something is wrong, so don’t even try to act like it ain’t shit cause I can tell.”
Tron looked at Desirae and into her eyes. It was very clear to him that this chick was being sincere and he liked that about her. Anytime he was over to her place, she was always all ears and really treated him like a chick should treat a man. Tron leaned his head back into the couch cushion, with his legs splayed apart, happy to finally be in a place where there wouldn’t be any tension or some woman going all crazy on him the way Shawna was.
�
�Me and my chick got into it,” Tron said. “Earlier today.”
“Yeah, I remember you saying that,” Desirae said. “What did she do now?”
Tron shook his head. “I mean, she ain’t do nothing,” he answered, thinking of how to only let Desirae know a little. “It’s just, the way she be on the bullshit. She always try’na start something with a nigga and I think she be thinkin’ that shit is cute.”
“A lot of these niggas out here like that shit,” Desirae said. “Or else females wouldn’t be doing that shit. I see chicks who be talking all types of dirty to they dudes and I be wonderin’ to myself why in the hell they would even want to be with a woman like that.”
Tron was starting to understand what Desirae was saying. “I know what you mean,” he said. “I mean, it’s like she is always looking for a way out or something. It’s like she don’t like the relationship she is in or something and just has to be coming up with some bullshit to try to find something.”
“Find something like what?” Desirae asked.
Tron shrugged. “You know,” he said. “Just shit.”
“I see, I see,” Desirae said, nodding. No matter what, she was determined to find a way to get Tron to see just how much of a real chick he had in her. She felt like he was finally coming around to seeing that, but just needed a little bit of pushing to get the rest of the way there. “I saw the news earlier today, Tron.” Desirae decided to go ahead and put that card out on the table, and she was going to make sure that Tron knew she wasn’t mad or anything about it. And that he could talk about it all with her.
“What you talkin’ bout?” Tron asked. “What news?”
“Come on, Tron,” Desirae said, sliding her hand onto Tron’s lap. “I saw the news about what all went down last night at the club. I saw you, Tron.” She smiled. “I saw you. And I just don’t know why you didn’t feel like you could tell me that kind of stuff.”
The Diary of a Side Chick (Side Chick Diaries Book 1) Page 10