by Marie Harte
The pain of that moment of loss stole his breath away, so he kept it tucked inside, not wanting to relive it. “Does that make me weak, Lea? That I don’t want to feel bad anymore?” His family had gone along with his wishes not to talk about her all those years ago. That silence had allowed him to recover, to be the strong father Colin needed. The years passed, and he kept that grief buried, stirring guilt because he couldn’t think of her without pain.
“I think I’m going to see Del again. You’d like her.” Lea had never had a bad word to say about anyone. The sweet woman had sometimes driven him insane with her kindness. But she’d made him a better man. “I like her. I like her a lot. But never more than I loved you.” Loved? Since when did his feelings become past tense? “Love, baby. I love you.”
Instead of giving him solace, his pledge felt hollow. He could love her all he liked. She couldn’t love him back. And he was still alone.
He glanced at Colin, who waved and smiled.
“He’s such a great kid. Smart, conniving—that’s Brody’s fault. Charming, athletic. I love him so much. Thanks for Colin.” He patted the grass. “You did good with that one. I’m just sorry you only got to hold him that one time.”
One glorious moment, when she lit up with love, her hair in disarray, her face blotchy, tears streaming down her face. Yet he’d never seen her look more beautiful as she’d gazed at their son with love. She’d handed him to Mike, who took the small bundle with shaking hands.
Then the nurses had nudged him aside, rushing to her when she seized in pain. It felt like forever but had been seconds as she just faded away.
Like she’d begun to fade from his memories. One moment in time, she’d been all he could think, fantasize, wonder about. Lately, she seemed foggy, like a remnant of a dream. Now when he thought of a dark-haired, petite woman with a nice smile and deep brown eyes, his thoughts flew to Abby, Brody’s fiancée.
“Brody had a thing for you, you know,” he admitted the truth out loud, more comfortable talking about his family than her. “He’s totally into Abby though. She looks a lot like you. At first it was weird, but I never felt anything for her. And she’s a very different person than you. Brody is over the moon for her. The punk.” He laughed. “She writes those books you used to love. Oh, and Flynn fell for Abby’s friend, Maddie. She’s gorgeous, and she knows it. She keeps him in line, has a heart of gold.” He sighed. “Even Cam, that pretentious little jerk, found someone to tolerate him. Vanessa seems cold and aloof, but she’s sweet. Not that I’d tell her that, but I know she’s good for Cam. Lightens him up. She’s having his baby. So if you can, put in a good word. No one’s said anything, but they worry about her. Especially with how you left us.”
He didn’t know how Cam would handle Vanessa in harm’s way, and he didn’t want to think about it. One senseless death in the McCauley family was one too many. “Yeah, keep an eye out for Vanessa, Lea.” He stood and brushed his hands on his jeans. “Maybe I’m getting all moody because everyone’s hooking up but me. And maybe it’s because I miss you more during this time of year. I don’t know.” He sighed. “Well, happy birthday. Hope you’re still living it up in the clouds. I know you’re watching over us.” He paused. “I miss you.”
Then he walked to Colin and took him by the hand. They left the cemetery for the truck, both of them quiet while the wind blew and the drops began to fall.
Mike worked like a demon the next day, glad his father had taken the hint and left him alone. All the guys ignored him, as they had all week, for which he was profoundly grateful. After dealing with bullshit delays on permits for their next project, he’d returned from the city building department and worked through lunch and all through the day, doing much of the sanding and flooring he normally left to Jess.
“Okay, boy. It’s quitting time.” His father slapped a pair of leather gloves together and loomed over him while he finished cutting a replacement piece of flooring.
“I’m almost done.”
“Mike, you’ve been slaving all week without breaks.” His dad grew quiet. “I know it’s tough this time of year.”
Normally Mike would tell his dad, nicely, to mind his own fucking business. But yesterday had helped him cope. “Just about finished.”
“Put the wood down, son.”
“I said I’m almost done,” he growled.
“Now,” his father growled back.
Annoyed, Mike put down the piece he’d been cutting and turned off the saw. Then he stood. “Well?”
“So how are things?”
“You want to make polite conversation? Here?”
“Answer the fucking question.”
“I’m fucking great. Thanks,” he snarled. What the hell?
“Yeah? Great with Grace?”
Baffled at the direction of the conversation, Mike stared at his father. “Grace? What does she have to do with anything?”
“Nothing, apparently. Your mother owes me money.” His dad grinned.
“Have you been drinking?”
James laughed. Mike took after him in a lot of ways. Tall, broad-shouldered, muscular, and with a creative streak he expressed best by building things. Though James McCauley acted like he was a blue-collar schmoe, he too crafted woodwork with real skill, a talent he’d rounded and brought out in his oldest son.
“Dad, you okay?”
“I’m not the one everyone’s worried about.”
Mike hated being pitied. He glared. “Well, everyone can quit worrying about me and deal with their own crap. A lot of weddings and babies being planned. Not my bag. My kid is six going on forty, but I got it covered. I don’t need fucking concern.”
“Nope. Not when you’ve got a great little lady like Del Webster hanging around.” His father smirked.
Hell. No doubt Brody and Flynn had been gossiping. His brothers were worse than hens with all their clucking.
“Not sure what you mean.” Mike unplugged the saw and started gathering up his things. He’d lock up and get gone. He checked the time. Nearing six. His mother was probably ready to make dinner. He would have been fine putting his boy in the school’s aftercare program, but his mother wouldn’t hear of her grandson being tended to by strangers—strangers who only taught the kid for six and a half hours every day.
“They told me at Sunday dinner, but I thought I’d wait and see if you brought it up.”
Mike remained silent. The key to dealing with his parents—avoid potential verbal minefields whenever possible.
“So the boys told me she came over Friday night.”
Don’t confirm or deny.
“Left Saturday morning looking a little rumpled.” More silence. “Colin said she came to dinner Sunday night too.”
Mike blew out an exasperated breath. “What? You’re pimping my kid for information now?”
“Hey, he’ll talk. For a few dollars, you can get a lot out of him.”
“Dad.”
“Come on, Mike. I worry about you.”
“Yeah, well, don’t. I’m a grown man capable of inviting a woman to dinner.”
“But you didn’t invite Grace. You invited Del.”
“So? Colin loves her.”
“Uh-huh. You had her over for Colin.”
The innuendo was impossible to miss. “What?” he snapped. “We had burgers. She brought ice cream. We ate. She left. But you’d know that, since you put the thumbscrews to your grandson already.”
“Strawberry cupcakes, and he sang like a canary.”
Mike smothered an unwanted grin. Colin’s sweet tooth was his known downfall. “Dad, what’s your point?”
“Nothing.” Great. Now his dad looked uncomfortable. “Hell. Look, Mike. Your mother wanted me to—”
“I knew it.”
“She’s worried. You always get weird around Lea’s birthday. But, son, it’s been six years. We know you miss her. You’ll always miss her. But don’t you think it’s time to start living again?”
Mike started. “I a
m living. What the hell? Since when are you Mr. Emotional?”
James frowned. “I know. I blame your mother for this. Well, her and that shrink she insists we still need to see. Thing is, I kind of agree with her. You’re a young man. Lost your wife too soon. We all loved her. She was a special girl.”
Mike nodded, relieved not to feel the urge to cry. He’d used up a lot of useless tears last night in bed. Now he just felt tired instead of sad when he thought of all he’d missed with Lea.
His father continued. “There are other women out there. Grace is—”
“Not my type.”
“Really? Because seems to me the last women you dated all had that short, stacked kind of build. You seem to like them small.”
“Shit, Dad. Do we really have to talk about my taste in women here?”
“Not at all. We could go home and talk at my house.” With your mother went unsaid.
“What do you want me to say? Because I’ll say anything to get you to stop talking.”
“Not nice, boy,” his father growled. “But fine. I’ll be blunt.”
“Thank God.”
“Stop being a pussy and make a move on Del.”
“Thought I’d already made it,” Mike said with snark.
His father slapped him in the back of the head, a move he normally reserved for Flynn and Brody.
“Hey.”
“Smart-ass. I’m not talking about sex. Invite her to dinner again. Take her out to a movie. I like her.”
“Huh?”
“Your mother isn’t sure about her. But I like her. More, I like her for you. She’s not someone you can walk all over when you want to move on. Woman’ll make you work to get her.”
Already had her, he wanted to say, but didn’t want to put Del out there like that, well, more than he already had.
“You know what I mean,” his father added, no doubt reading his mind. “Point is, Colin really likes her. Boy has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to people. He’s just like me.”
“Yeah? Well he doesn’t like Grace Meadows much.”
“Hmm.” His father rubbed his chin. “Have to see about that. I’m afraid your mom is pretty taken with her. The fact that Grace has a kid of her own is a huge plus.”
“For Mom, maybe. Look, she’s only got a few more months before she’s a grandma again. Knowing Vanessa, the kid will come early. Can’t you distract Mom for me?”
“Sorry, son. You’re on your own. I’m barely in her good graces again. I’m not screwing it up. No way, no how. She wanted me to talk to you; I talked. Now when you see her again, tell her what you told me. Well, not about shacking up with Del.”
“I never said that.” He hoped to hell he wasn’t as red as he felt. Why did his family have to fixate on him when they had so many other things to worry about? Like his brothers, a baby, therapy. “Dad, Del and I are friends. We’re a little more than casual, but that’s it. I’m not getting married again. Period. So can you get Mom off my ass about it? At least get her to stop trying to fix me up. No more arranged dates. Please.”
His father clapped him on the back. “I feel for you. I do. I’ll try my best, but she’s pretty focused on you lately. You’re not the only one who was hit hard when Lea died, you know. Your mother lost the girl she’d been wanting for a long time when Lea passed. Think on that.”
James helped him lock up, then they drove together back to Mike’s parents’ house, where Colin waited.
Mike had no more stepped in the door when Colin latched onto him with a death grip. “Help me, Dad,” Colin whispered.
Then Mike spotted the small boy in the living room sitting with Grace, Nadine, and his mother around a coffee table filled with treats. That Colin wasn’t stuffing his face full of mini-cakes spoke volumes.
Noah waved. “Hi, Mr. McCauley.”
“Call him Mike, honey,” Beth corrected.
Mike frowned, not wanting any more familiarity with Grace or her family. “Hello, Grace, Nadine. Hey, Noah.”
Grace smiled. He tried to see some hint of trickery but noticed nothing more than a woman sandwiched between her mother and his. To his way of thinking, another pawn played between two conniving, masterful queens.
“Hi, Mike. Long day, huh?” Grace asked.
“Long week.” He shot a glare at his father, who wisely smiled but said nothing. “That’s nice you could come for a visit, Mrs. Meadows.”
Nadine Meadows smiled. An older version of Grace, she had a pretty smile and a softly rounded figure. If Grace followed her mother’s example, she’d age exceedingly well. “Oh, we’re just stopping by to get Beth. I mean, Grace is.”
“We’re on our way to Abby’s,” his mother explained.
“Abby’s?”
“Abby’s book club, Dad.” Colin still hadn’t released his grip on Mike’s leg. “I think we should go too. Del’s going to be there,” he said in a loud voice.
Christ. Just what Mike didn’t need. His father smirked. His mother frowned, and Grace and Nadine looked puzzled.
“You met her at Abby’s party last week,” his mother explained. “The girl with the weird hair and tattoos?”
“Her hair isn’t weird,” Mike defended, then wished he hadn’t when all three women sent questioning looks his way. “She’s just…different.” He swallowed a groan. “Come on, Colin. We have to go.”
Grace waved. “Nice to see you again, Mike. Bye.”
“Bye, Mike,” Noah parroted.
Mr. McCauley, his inner voice growled. “Yeah. Have fun tonight.” Grace, his mother, and Del. In a small space. Man, talk about a good night to go out to dinner. He pulled Colin with him and left as quickly as he could without appearing to run. “We’re doing dinner out tonight.”
“Oh man. I wanted to see Del.”
Me too. Mike scowled at the useless need he couldn’t seem to help. “Yeah, well, too many girls next door could be a problem. What if Grace decides to stop by?”
Colin grimaced. I feel you, boy. I do. “Oh. Yeah. Let’s eat somewhere far away.”
“Just what I was thinking.”
An hour later, while Colin played in the arcade after consuming the crappiest pizza known to man, Mike wished he’d brought along a pack of Tums to combat the riot of pepperoni fighting with the greasy cheese in his belly. Imagining Del making mincemeat of Grace didn’t help either, because Beth would be watching it all and taking mental notes. Then Mike would get the brunt of the rundown from his mother, Abby, Maddie, and no doubt Vanessa. That’s after Del ripped him a new one for some infraction he’d have caused just by existing.
At the thought, he perked up. Maybe if Grace annoyed Del as much he thought she might, Del would storm over to his place to complain. His neighbors would see her there, comment of course to anyone who cared enough to listen, but at the end of the day, he’d have Del in his arms. They could have sex and be friendly. No deeper emotion necessary, and he’d get this gnawing hunger for the woman out of his system again. A win-win any way he looked at it.
Even his sour stomach and the sounds of children whining and crying couldn’t take away his good mood.
He plunked a coin into an air hockey machine and waved his son over. “Here, Colin. Best out of three, and the betting is open.”
Colin grinned. “Great. When I win, I get to ask Del over for dinner again.”
Mike nodded. “I win, you not only clean your room, but your bathroom too.”
“Awesome.”
“Perfect.”
Mike lost game one, then game two. By game three, he’d been thoroughly trounced. And he couldn’t have been happier.
Chapter 9
Del arrived at Abby’s with an excited Rena chattering behind her. She noted a larger crowd than she’d expected and swore under her breath when she saw Grace sitting next to Beth in the girls’ living room. Following her gaze, Vanessa leaned closer to murmur, “An unexpected—and uninvited—guest. But what can you do? Abby’s future mother-in-law brought her. Hell, s
he’ll be mine too.”
Del liked that Vanessa didn’t seem to like Grace. It made her feel better for succumbing to that bane emotion Mike too easily brought out in her—jealousy. Because really, what the hell did she have to be jealous about? Mike didn’t belong to her. No more than she belonged to him. If she wanted, she could go out and get laid by any number of guys down at Ray’s. She wondered if Mike knew how lucky he was she’d let him have her.
“Interesting expression. A kind of glare-dare,” Abby mused. “Hey, Del.”
Del nodded, then winced as the hand digging into her waist clenched harder. “Ah, yeah. Thanks for the invite.” She pulled Rena’s fingers free and yanked her cousin around to meet Abby. “Abby, this is my cousin, Rena. She’s your—”
“Biggest fan. Oh my God. I love your books,” Rena squealed then hugged Abby. Hard.
Abby disappeared, enveloped by Rena’s strong arms, and let out an oomph. Vanessa smirked. Del wanted to sink through the floor when Beth frowned at the commotion.
“Ah, nice to meet you,” came Abby’s muffled response. Rena let her go, and to Del’s relief, Abby laughed. “Wow. It’s really nice to meet you.” She pulled Rena with her and introduced her to the rest of the group. “See, Kim? Rena actually reads my books. She likes them.”
Kim and her life partner Robin laughed and made fun while engaging Rena in conversation. Del looked around and spotted two sisters she’d met at the last book club. May and June. Or April and July. She couldn’t remember which. Maddie joined Abby with the others. Del turned to the pair she’d been leaving for last—Beth and Grace.
So much for having a fun time tonight. Especially since the only seat open was right next to Grace.
The woman in question waved and patted the seat next to her on the couch. “Hey, Del. Come on over.”
Under her breath, Vanessa hummed the death march.
“Funny.”
Vanessa snickered and shoved Maddie, her cousin, aside to make room on the floor. Rena, the traitor, hadn’t looked back once to see how Del fared, smitten with her idol—an author of those romance books her cousin gobbled up like candy.