“Roe,” Disa broke in.
“Disa,” he shot back, a perfect imitation of her tone. Disa hoisted her chin in the air and stared down her nose at him, hands on her hips. Roe looked away first. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
“It's fine. Now, go find Grim and make sure he actually isn’t inciting any ill-advised rebellions. At least until after the Thing.” Roe barked a harsh laugh. “Finn will see me back. Go.” Roe looked to Finn who nodded his affirmation.
They watched as Roe doubled back to where they last saw Grim, keeping away from the walkway lest he stumble upon their newfound friends. There was a crash and muffled shouts from somewhere in the camp, Finn wasn't sure from where. “Let's go.”
They walked together towards the shore more slowly than usual. The night was clear but cold, and Disa didn't have a cloak. “You're shivering,” he stated fruitlessly. He didn't have anything himself except his shirt, and he would have given it to her, but he didn't think his brother would approve.
“I'm fine,” she assured him. They walked almost the whole way without speaking. It was quieter in the isolated camp where Roe, Disa, and their few neighbors had settled. No fights or boisterous voices, just a few murmuring groups around fires, the odd giggle from the shadows. “Will they be there tomorrow?”
“They'll be around, attending some of the same meetings as Rurik.”
“With the Lawspeaker?”
“Yes.” Finn wanted to ask why she disliked Oslaf with such immediacy but the inquiry felt too intimate.
When they reached the sod house she was sharing with Nan, she leaned against the corner and looked out over the water. The full moon was giving her a glow, turning her hair a silver that put the metal at her breast to shame. She was the closest thing to a goddess he'd ever seen.
He looked away. He'd been watching after her for too long, and it was clouding his mind. “You'll be with me tomorrow as well, or will your brother need you?”
“Rurik hasn't told me what he'll need of me tomorrow.”
“It's silly, I hardly know him, but he makes me uncomfortable. I'll feel safer if you're there.”
For a crazed moment he thought she’d meant Rurik instead of the Lawspeaker. “Then I'll be there.”
“Good.”
They both grinned at each other. “You're drunk.”
“So are you!” Disa laughed.
“No I'm not.”
“You are. You're smiling. You never smile. You are drunk.” He tried to frown at her, but he just couldn't do it. She was too beautiful to be frowned at.
He was drunk on something. Or maybe someone, he thought. He knocked sharply on the door drawing an annoyed hiss from Disa. They could hear Nanna’s grumblings as she made her way to answer. “Good night, Disa.”
She punched him on the arm just before Nan stuck her head out. “Disa!” she said in surprise before gathering her wits and glaring at Finn. “Inside.” She pulled at Disa’s arm, shocked to find her alone in the dark with a man who wasn't a blood relation, no doubt.
“Good night,” he called again. Disa stuck her tongue out at him over Nan’s shoulder as she slammed the door shut.
He watched the quiet house longer than he had any reason to.
Roe and Grim knocked half-heartedly on the door before letting themselves inside. Nan was bustling around the hall, stroking the fire and digging food out of the larder.
“Where is Disa?” Roe asked, sneaking a piece of warm bread from the table while Nan’s back was turned.
Nan gestured to the small loft space in the back, a warm cave of blankets and furs set high up on the wall that Disa and Nan shared. Grim yawned noisily. “She gets to stay in bed.”
“We're waking her up now, aren't we?” Roe tried to unwrap the largest bundle of cloth for some cheese to go with his purloined breakfast, but Nan was too quick as she snatched it from his grasp.
“Allow me,” Grim offered, making quick work of the latter.
“You eat with us or not at all,” Nan declared, leveling a beady eye on Roe’s wandering fingers.
“Nan,” he whined in his most pathetic voice.
“No! It is almost ready. Maybe don't drink so much. Then you won't be so ravenous.”
Disa padded into the room, arms stretched above her head. “Why is Grim in my bed?” she yawned.
Nan gasped and Roe rolled his eyes. “He was supposed to be waking you up.”
“Well, he was successful. He snores,” she added as she lowered herself to the table and folded her hands neatly. She knew better than to sneak food from Nan's table.
The wait was short however, and Disa ate her bread and cheese in silence, opting not to partake of the leftover stew Roe was greedily dipping into. Just the smell made her feel nauseous. Instead she nibbled and half listened as her brother told Nan what gossip he'd heard from drunkenly loose lips that night: a few territory disputes, a divorce that required the Lawspeaker, and another election for Kiojafell, a town that never seemed too sure what it wanted in a Jarl but always felt passionately it wasn't whoever they'd just elected. Mostly she was thinking of Rurik and the way he'd looked at her when she’d stepped from behind Finn. He was the first man to see her as something more than a sister or a tomboy, and he appeared quite happy with what he saw. It was a wholly unexpected feeling. It made her light and fluttery to remember their stolen glances and smiles, the way his hand or foot kept finding an excuse to brush against hers, or how readily he'd defended Grim as if they were already married. Disa sighed.
Roe’s sudden silence brought her attention back to the table, and Disa looked up to see his face twisted in confusion and Nan’s soft with delight. “What?” she asked.
“What me?” Roe exclaimed. “What you!”
“Ah, more like who,” Nan guessed.
“Rurik?” he asked surprised. “You're all…” he waved his hand vaguely at her, trying to find the right words. “All like this over last night? Over him? Sorry, Finn. I know he’s your brother but last night was...” he shook his head, unable to find the words.
Disa whipped her head around and blushed furiously. Finn was standing in the doorway, no telling for how long. “No problem,” he said.
“What would you know about it? You and Abi spent the whole night with your heads together,” she snapped back at Roe.
“Abi?” Nanna asked hopefully.
“Married to a troll already. Sorry, Finn,” Disa said.
“No problem,” he repeated.
“Talking about the bastard slaver brothers?” Grim asked as he descended from the sleeping nest.
Nan gasped. “You ate with slavers?”
“I didn't.” Grim snorted.
“Disa,” Nan admonished.
“It's not like he was friends with them! Rurik defended Grim! Said he was my brother, therefore he was his brother, too.”
“I don't need that soft southern cock to defend me.”
“GRIM!” Disa and Nan cried at once.
“Sorry, Finn,” Grim added, clapping the man on his shoulder as he passed by.
“It seems like you might want to come back later if you wish to remain unoffended,” Roe smiled.
“Really, it's--”
“No problem?” Grim and Roe said in unison, immediately delighted at their own cleverness.
Disa gave Finn a commiserating look as her brother and Grim guffawed. Finn knew he should be angry, knew his brother would expect him to flex some muscle at an insult to the family, but it was taking all his effort to maintain his look of polite indifference instead of laughing along with them. Were most families like this? Most normal families, anyway?
Growing up, their father had been drowning in his cups more oft than not, and Finn and Rurik had to rely on each other. The result had been Finn's transformation into stoic warrior and Rurik’s into smiling charm. They were rarely this relaxed, even around each other. It was wearisome. Maybe that would change once his brother married Disa. She was the sort of girl you smiled with. It couldn't be helped.
“Are we going to fight today, Little Bee?” Grim asked.
“Ummm…” Disa glanced at Finn, her cheeks pink and eyes pleading. She was a sight: shy with embarrassment, hair wild, her bare feet tucked under her. Finn changed his focus to the skinny window behind her. Her shoulders fell a fraction, and he was flooded with conflicting emotions. He made a mistake last night. He got involved. It was a weakness his brother criticized often. She was someone he needed to keep safe until he was needed somewhere else more.
Grim was giving her a confused look. It wasn't like Disa to turn down an invitation to spar. “I should have time midday,” he continued.
“I'm spending the day with Rurik,” she said in a rush.
Grim nodded but didn't comment. They had spent so much time teasing the southern lords and scoffing at their wealth, Disa was finding herself unprepared now that the time had come to see it through. She almost wished her brothers would start making kissing noises or some equally childish ploy until Nan kicked them out. The awkward dinner from the night before was fresh in their minds as was the knowledge she would soon be marrying the object of their ridicule. They were keeping silent out of respect. That, coupled with the fact she wanted to spend the day with Rurik, made her feel worse. The truth was she had enjoyed the night until Agnar had started to defend the indefensible. Hadn't Rurik stood up for Grim? Well, Finn had stood literally, but Rurik had claimed Grim as a brother, hadn't he? He thought she was beautiful; he couldn't keep his eyes off of her; he was going to marry her.
They were getting married and here Disa was feeling like a guilty child. She had done nothing wrong. He'd done nothing wrong. “Get out. Everyone get out,” Disa said, voice shaking.
They looked at her in surprise. “I said out! Everyone,” the last aimed somewhat unfairly at Finn. He didn't owe her anything and she wasn't sure what she'd expected when she’d looked to him. To protect her from her brothers’ disapproval? It was absurd to even think, but it was the first time she’d felt unprotected since he'd stepped foot on her shores and frowned his intent to see her safely married. The lonely feeling stung.
Disa stood at the window, her back to the silent crowd. Nanna took up the cause, yelling with an accent so thick Disa could barely make out the words.
“Why are we in trouble, we didn't do anything!” Disa kept looking forward even after she heard Nanna slam the door into place. The others had moved away, but she knew he wouldn't. Her Great Shadow. He'd be waiting. It was annoying to find that comforting when she was determined to be mad.
Disa closed her eyes and took a deep breath of cool air as it blew in with the wind, the smell of salt and smoke clearing her head. She was being childish. She was mad at herself, not them. She was being shallow and she knew it. A boy looks at her the right way, doesn't fall down laughing at the sight of her in a dress, and she's ready to commit.
Disa turned, determined. There was only one way she was going to prove to herself and everyone else that she wasn't wrong and that her judgment wasn't clouded. “No,” she said as Nanna reached for an apron-dress. “I'm not wearing that.”
Finn suppressed a smile as Disa marched into the sunlight. She was dressed to fight, plain brown trousers and a woolen tunic cinched with a woven leather belt, her small half blade at her hip, her hair captured in a braid that started at her temple and wrapped around the side of her head. No beaten silver or straining bodices today.
Disa stopped a few steps in front of him and waited expectantly. Finn wasn't sure what she was expecting. “Well?” she asked.
“Well…” he looked at her somewhat bewildered.
“Where am I to meet Rurik?”
Finn wanted to speak, but he couldn't think what it was he wanted to say. Nothing. You want to say nothing. Take the bride to her intended. “His presence has been requested at many meetings. He wishes to walk with you, spend any rests between with you. If that's acceptable.” Exactly what he'd been told to say, nothing more, nothing less.
“Yes,” she answered curtly. She closed her eyes briefly and tried again. “Yes, that will be fine. I expected he would be busy.”
“If we leave now, you can walk with him to the general assembly.” He held his arm out, indicating she should go first. He'd decided to stay at her back from now on, like he had in the beginning. It was less personal, and they would be needing privacy, his brother and his brother’s almost wife.
She walked before him, more confident than the night before, and the distance between this isolated shore and his brother's prized high spot at the top of the slopes seemed much smaller than it should have been. They were there in no time. Disa stopped short of the door, hesitating for the first time since they'd left.
“Does he sleep in the great hall or…?” she asked, turning towards him.
He stayed in a small cluster of tents off to the side of the hall, but his brother didn't like others to know. He thought people shouldn't have too much knowledge about his whereabouts, plans, or habits. He hesitated, unsure of what his brother would want, but Rurik saved him the trouble of a lie, ambling out of the hall with a man who was speaking passionately. Rurik glanced up and hailed his brother, then turned a smile on the man, a reassuring hand at his shoulder, and the man seemed satisfied, visibly relieved as he walked away.
Rurik jogged a few steps before stopping abruptly, his eyes on Disa in surprise. He grinned, ignoring Finn completely. “I didn't even recognize you!” He closed the space between them and kissed both her hands before pulling her alongside him, moving with the crowd towards the large clearing Disa and Grim had been using to fight. The space had been transformed from patchy field to an outdoor assembly with an odd assortment of stools, benches, and cloth and one ornately carved chair set in the center.
Disa laughed. “Tell me, do you drag that thing everywhere you go yourself, or do you make one of your men do it for you?”
“I find it helps people remember.”
“Remember what?”
“Who's in charge.”
“But you aren't the only Jarl in attendance. And there are dozens of freemen that aren't in your clan.”
“Perhaps,” he smiled, leaning close. “But don't remind them of that.” Disa rolled her eyes and Rurik raised his eyebrows, shoulders bouncing in quiet laughter. Finn reckoned that was the first time in a long time anyone had rolled their eyes at him. “It may seem silly, but I never had family or a firm standing. Much like your brother, actually. Ten years ago I couldn’t have envisioned my position now.”
“Yes, but he doesn't drag a boat with him on land.” Disa sat on a bench next to the chair and smiled up at him.
Rurik stared at her a few moments longer than was casual, the corner of his mouth quirking. Rurik sat in his chair, pulling a knee to his chest and lounging like a lanky youth. “Your brother had the good luck to be born in the north and the wisdom to stay there. His integrity is enough because he lives among good men.”
“And you had bad luck and no sense?” They were leaning close now; Disa could feel his breath on her face.
“More like bad luck and stubborn pride. And our share of devious men who understand naught but power, morals be damned.”
“Good thing you have that chair then.”
“Yes.” He pulled a lock free from her braid and rolled it between his fingers. “I think my luck is changing though.”
The people began to pour in, and it seemed to Disa that more than half stopped to exchange words with Rurik. It wasn't until a few fierce looking warriors nodded greetings to Finn did she realize he had been just behind them the whole time, standing in watch as usual. Disa sat a little straighter.
The morning was a long series of speeches and in-fighting, grievances aired, votes taken, and throughout it all men would approach them, leaning in close to speak privately with Rurik, Rurik leaning close to answer or leaving briefly to confer elsewhere. People wanted to know where he stood on any and every issue south of the big island. Her brother was respected, but this was
different, almost bordering on absurd.
By the time the crowd began breaking up for food and drink or private meetings, Disa was sure she never wanted to hear about whose sheep had claim to what grazing area or who offered insult to whose relation ever again.
Rurik was deep in conversation and Disa glanced around at the slowly thinning groups. “Finn, have you seen my brother?”
Finn knelt beside her, not wanting to draw too much attention. “No. I haven't seen your brother or Grim since this morning. I wanted to ask but…” But you were nose to nose with my brother at the time. It seemed as if Disa could read his mind as she glared at him to continue. “I wanted to ask if that’s usual.”
“No, it's not.” She leaned forward, panicked and alert.
“The brothers are gone, as well.”
“Does that matter?” she asked defensively.
“No, I'm not…” He glanced at Rurik. “I just noticed. It's not your brother I don't trust,” he whispered.
“Oslaf was here.” The Lawspeaker had let others do most of the speaking when rules needed to be checked. He was pale and sweaty, clearly still suffering from the night before. It was probably her imagination, but she thought she could smell him from across the open field.
“I noticed that.”
“What should I do?”
Finn looked down for a moment, considering. “Nothing. I'll take care of it.”
“Finn--”
“Disa, do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she said at once, deciding not to be overly concerned about the immediacy of her answer.
“Then let me take care of this. And…”
“And what?”
He knew this wasn't his place. “And don't tell my brother.”
She stared in confusion. “Why not?”
“You can, if you wish. It would probably be better though if you didn't.” Finn sighed, exasperated at how difficult this was. He wasn't used to explaining his brother, and he really didn't know how to criticize him. He tried again, pressing closer. “He won't like being out of control.” That wasn't right. “He’ll be--”
Blood and Loyalty Page 4