“At any rate.” Viviane waved a dismissive hand. “I had hoped to find an answer, or at the very least a clue, on how to end this ridiculous game of Merlin’s and send us all home.”
“I gather you didn’t find anything?” Tessa paged through the volume absently.
“Unfortunately, no. I suspect unless it is directly in Merlin’s hands, or perhaps in yours, there is nothing to the book beyond simple stories.” Viviane shrugged. “At least, nothing of significance. Frankly, it’s not even especially well crafted.”
“I suppose not.” Tessa flipped the volume closed.
“The book will not get us what we want. However, you may.”
“Me?”
“If I’m correct, we both may well be able to go back to where we belong. I need only your wholehearted support and faith.”
“Faith? That seems to be the currency of the realm here. Why are you so hot to send me home anyway?”
“It’s quite simple. I find this particular moment in time primitive, uncomfortable and boring. You and I have something in common on that score.”
“It’s really not as bad as I thought it was,” Tessa murmured.
“Oh, come now. It’s at least as bad as I remember, perhaps worse. However, together we can end this travesty and return to where we both belong.”
“Sorry. It’s tempting,” Tessa heaved a heartfelt sigh, “but I can’t do it.”
“Because you love him?”
“Probably,” she said slowly, realizing the truth even as she spoke it. “I love him but I also respect him and I like him. He’s arrogant and stubborn but he’s also gentle and kind of sweet in his own way. He’s got a solid set of basic beliefs in things like honor and honesty and he’s got a sharp, twisted medieval sense of humor. And aside from all that, I promised I’d help him. I gave him my word.”
“That’s all well and good but…” Sympathy shone in Viviane’s eye. “It simply won’t make a whit of difference, you know.”
Tessa held her breath. “What do you mean?”
Viviane shrugged. “He did not find the Grail once; he will not find it now.”
“No.” Tessa shook her head. “Merlin said—”
“Merlin is a dear man and I have loved him for eons but he is a creature who deals in magic and illusion. He is quite literally the eternal optimist when it comes to things he wishes. But even Merlin cannot control the fates.” Pity colored Viviane’s face. “Galahad is fated to fail and spend his days bitter and alone.”
“Not if I can help it.” Tessa’s voice rang with determination.
“Of course you can help it, Tessa.” Viviane smiled pleasantly. “That’s precisely why you’re here. I suspected you would have a certain amount of loyalty to Galahad’s cause but I am extremely pleased to see you care more for the man than his quest.”
“Your point?”
“Tessa.” Viviane leaned forward, sincerity in her eyes. “Galahad’s pride, his sense of self if you will, shall never survive a failure of this magnitude. Why not spare him the entire ordeal?”
“Spare him?” Just the idea of Galahad defeated tightened her stomach. “How?”
“If, as I suspect, we can return to modern times if we pool our collective energies, then I see no reason why we cannot bring him with us.” Viviane raised her glass in a triumphant toast.
“Bring him with us? Bring Galahad into the twenty-first century?” The very thought of Galahad confronting modern America or even present-day Britain was enough to make her laugh. Or cry. She pulled a deep swallow of the wine. “He’d be a fish out of water. A living, breathing anachronism.”
“Nonsense.”
“Nonsense is just the beginning. Where would he go? What would he do?”
“I suspect he would go where you go. As for what he would do,” Viviane shrugged as if this really wasn’t her concern, “he’s a knight.”
“That’s not in many job descriptions unless he wants to be a waiter at a medieval theme restaurant.”
“Sarcasm does not become you, my dear, I was not suggesting any such thing.” Viviane drew her brows together in annoyance. “Menial labor would not suit Galahad, although he is an extremely physical man. One can see that quite easily by the breadth of his shoulders and the—”
“Drop it, Viviane, I’ve already noticed.”
“So you have.” Viviane leaned back in her chair. “Galahad is not an unintelligent man. The times he lives in have simply never called for the development of his intellect. In a more stimulating environment, he could, no doubt, manage great things. That is precisely where the very qualities that have made him a shining example of knighthood will serve him well.”
“Maybe, but…no.” Tessa shook her head firmly. “I couldn’t do that. Not without asking him.”
“Then ask him.”
“He’d never agree. He’s waited his whole life for this quest. And Arthur is counting on him.”
Viviane laughed, a hard unpleasant sound. “Galahad’s failure or success will not alter Arthur’s fate.”
“Galahad doesn’t know that.”
“No, but you do.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Tessa placed the wineglass on the table that had appeared beside her and stood. “I appreciate your offer but I’ll try it Merlin’s way. You don’t know for certain we won’t find the Grail, do you?”
“My dear.” Viviane sighed. “You are deluding yourself.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Now, if you could just put me back where you found me.” Tessa hugged the book to her chest. “Do I have to tap my heels together or what?”
“Sit down, Tessa.” Viviane’s voice was cold.
“I’d really rather—”
“Sit down.” Viviane’s sharp order echoed in the cave. She obviously wasn’t as powerful as Merlin but the woman did have a few tricks up her sleeve. Tessa sat.
“I do wish you’d reconsider. At least about going home yourself.” Viviane eyed Tessa with a thoroughness that made the younger woman want to squirm in her chair. “There are a few things you should understand about Galahad before your decision is irrevocable.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
“We’ll see.” Viviane paused, as if choosing the right words. “If you are staying here out of some romantic idea about Galahad you need to face a few rather unpleasant facts. He shall never love you, not as you love him. He is a man, with all the imperfections of his gender. He will use you to slake his physical desires. He will enjoy your company. He may even whisper terms of endearment in your ear. But his soul died with his wife. I watched him then and I see him now and he still carries that sorrow. There is not a place for you in his heart.” Viviane’s voice softened. “I am sorry, Tessa, but can you live with that?”
Could she? Could she love him selflessly without expecting his love in return? “I don’t know.”
“Furthermore, how do you think he’ll react when he knows where you’re really from? He’ll feel betrayed that you haven’t confided in him before now. Remember, you did mention honesty among his dubious charms. And, if you can get him to believe you, he’ll want to know what happens in the future. What becomes of his king, his country, his world? What is his fate?”
Viviane’s voice hardened. “Can you tell him the kingdom falls to ruin? Arthur and his knights are reduced to tales told to children? Can you tell him only in fiction does he succeed in what he wants most in life? Can you tell him the world knows him not as a great knight, not as a flesh-and-blood man but as a character in a bedtime fable? A minor character?”
“I don’t know,” Tessa whispered.
“And even if by some quirk of cosmic forces you and he do indeed find the Grail, what then? The Grail falls under the protection of he who finds it. If Galahad is successful, he will be its guardian.”
“Arthur mentioned that possibility, but so what? It sounds like an honor.”
“You have no idea what you’re dealing with, do you?” Disbelief colored Viviane’s face. “The Grail, if it exist
s at all, is not some sort of treasure to be brought out at parties or become part of a collection or placed in a glass case at a museum. It stays where it is hidden. Be that a cathedral or a cave. A castle or a cottage. And Galahad stays with it. Bound to the Grail,” her eyes smoldered, “forever.”
“Forever?” Tessa hadn’t once thought about what would happen after they found the Grail. She expected to go home but she hadn’t faced the idea of actually leaving him. She’d never considered what his fate would be. Her heart thudded at the thought.
And what if they never found the Grail? Would the quest go on for years until they were both too old to climb up on the back of a horse? Or distinguish a fake dragon from a real one? Or make love on the hard ground? Would she spend her life in an endless search for something they—he—could never have? Would she watch him grow bitter and resentful? Would she grow to hate him as well? Would he hate her? Blame her for his failure?
“It’s your choice, Tessa.”
Which was worse? Hell with him in a world she could do nothing to improve or change? Or hell without him in her own empty life at home?
Viviane was wrong. She had no choice.
“Thanks for the offer but I’ll pass.” She got to her feet. “I don’t think Merlin would bring me here if there was no chance of finding the Grail. Galahad is one of the good guys and he deserves this shot at his dream. If his success means ultimately I lose him…” She shook her head. “I guess I really do love him because I’m willing to risk it.
“As for Galahad never loving me…” She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know if I can live with that. We’ll see. I’m not self-sacrificing enough to say it doesn’t matter, because it does. But right now, he likes me and I think he actually respects me. That’ll do for the time being.”
Viviane’s jaw tightened. Tessa knew she’d just made a powerful enemy. “Very well. But do take care the next time you meet a dragon. It may well be real.”
Tessa gasped. “You?”
“I had hoped merely to frighten you into agreeing to my proposal. Unfortunately, I failed.” She raised her glass. “Pity.”
Before Tessa could so much as blink she was lying in the cave, curled up beside Galahad.
Hoping her encounter with Viviane was a dream.
Knowing full well it wasn’t.
“Bloody stubborn American!” Viviane glared at the crystal in her hand then turned and hurled it at a rock wall. It shattered in a nicely satisfactory manner. Another appeared and followed the first. Three smashed goblets later and Viviane was once again calm and composed.
And frustrated.
Tessa St. James was not nearly as smart as Merlin believed. What kind of idiot would pass up the chance to get the one thing she really wanted? And for what? To help Galahad on a futile quest? A fool’s errand?
She sipped the wine in the new, intact glass in her hand and pushed away the touch of guilt that nagged at the back of her mind.
Certainly she hadn’t needed to be quite so blunt about Galahad’s emotions although everyone knew Galahad had loved his wife with a passion beyond measure. Whether that passion existed as anything more than a memory was an inference that could easily be drawn. Why, implying that Galahad could never feel for Tessa what he had felt for Dindrane was really only meant to save Tessa from inevitable heartbreak. Add to that the inescapable fact that Tessa did not belong here anymore than Viviane did, and you could say Viviane was simply trying to help the woman.
Although Merlin would never see it that way.
“Bloody hell.” Viviane heaved an irritated sigh and threw her glass against the wall. Immediately, another took its place. She sipped thoughtfully.
She could simply kill them and be done with it. Another dragon, perhaps, real this time, of course. Or something more in line with Tessa’s academic expertise. Something Greek, maybe. A hydra or Medusa or some other suitably nasty creature. That would be nicely ironic.
Merlin would never approve.
Merlin will never find out.
Merlin always finds out. She started to throw the glass in her hand, stopped and drained the last drops of wine then helped the goblet meet the fate of its brothers.
She was just damned lucky Merlin didn’t know about the dragon. Although she really couldn’t be certain of that. Maybe he’d simply let her get away with a threat that was no real danger.
The peril is naught save illusion.
“Bloody hell.” Realization flashed in her mind and she flung the glass in her hand with a vengeance. Two more followed in quick succession. She was set up. Of course. There was no question about it. One did not live with a man for more than a thousand years without knowing how his fiendish little mind worked. Worse yet, he knew her equally as well. All he had to do was plant one tiny seed and sit back and watch it grow to fruition. Certainly, she could have caught on and ignored his ire at computer animation, but if he was as much a gambler as she, he would have laid a substantial wager on her picking up the bait. And won.
To add to the insult, she’d actually helped Tessa and Galahad meet the first challenge in the riddle. Helped them on their way to the Grail. And Viviane’s way to a permanent stay in the Middle Ages.
She raised back her hand to let fly yet another glass and paused. Somehow, after the third glass, or was it the sixth, or perhaps the twenty-eighth, even the shatter of fine crystal didn’t provide a respectable level of satisfaction. The glass vanished.
No, she needed a plan. And possibly a partner. Tessa was the obvious choice but even if Viviane had succeeded in making Tessa realize the futility of a relationship with Galahad, the woman was still far too attached to that “word of honor” nonsense. By the stars, she was as much a sanctimonious knight as Galahad himself.
Allies were few and far between in this day and age. Viviane had never been particularly social in this era. Merlin had been her world. It wasn’t until the Renaissance that she’d come into her own, positively blooming in Georgian times. But nothing was as good as the twenty-first century. Determination clenched Viviane’s fists. One way or another she was getting back there. For good.
Surely there was someone she could call on for assistance? Or rather, someone she could assist. Subtly, without attracting Merlin’s attention. But Tessa had no enemies here. As for Galahad, he was respected and beloved and damn near perfect. It made one want to retch. Not that she didn’t like the dear boy herself. She did, in spite of his, well, goodness. Galahad didn’t have an enemy in the world. Everyone liked him.
Not everyone.
Viviane pushed the thought away almost as soon as it popped into her head. She’d sooner make a bargain with the devil himself than deal with that nasty, despicable creature. He had a vicious cruel streak, no sense of loyalty whatsoever and probably cheated at every wager he’d ever made. No, he could not be trusted.
Still…perhaps just this once such an alliance was permissible. He harbored a great deal of resentment toward Galahad. It would hardly take any effort at all to fan the flames of bitterness to full-fledged hatred. And if things got out of control, and Galahad or Tessa did not survive, it certainly wouldn’t be her fault. Not really. Merlin would be annoyed, perhaps even angry, but ultimately any fatalities could not be laid to rest at her feet.
This was a far better idea than that ridiculous faux dragon. This time the game would be played for far greater stakes.
This time, the danger would be real.
Chapter Sixteen
“You are remarkably quiet, Tessa St. James.” Galahad’s comment was offhand, but worry shone in his eye. “Are you certain you are quite ready—”
“I’m fine, really.” They rode side by side at a relaxed easy pace. “I just wish you’d stop looking at me as if I was a fragile piece of glass. I went a little off the deep end but I’m all right now.” She smiled wryly. “It’s probably going to take me some time to get adjusted to the kind of adventures I’m learning are standard issue on a quest.”
His eyes twinkled with suppre
ssed amusement. “’Twas not your, um, fit that concerned me.”
“Oh.” She bit back a grin. “Then it must have been the sex.”
“Indeed.” He too stifled a smile.
“It was great.”
“That was not in question.” He flashed a quick grin, then his expression sobered. “I referred to whether or not you now had regrets as to—”
“No way.” She widened her eyes in amazement. “It was perfect.” She paused. “Do you? Have any regrets I mean.”
“Nay.” He shook his head. “But it has been a long time—”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t done this since your wife died?” Maybe he was the virgin knight after all.
He laughed, a full deep sound. “Tessa, it has been more than a decade. I am a man in the prime of life. I am a knight.”
“Is that the answer for everything with you?”
“Aye.” He laughed again. She could listen to him laugh forever.
“That lecherous chuckle of yours says it all.” She eyed him suspiciously. “I thought only the pure of heart could seek the Grail.”
“My lady.” He swept his arm out with a flourish and bowed his head. “The purity of your heart has naught to do with the lust in your loins.”
A sharp laugh or snort exploded from her. “You are really something.”
“As are you.” A smile lingered on his lips and he directed his gaze toward the barely defined road before them. Long minutes went by. She was going to have to say something soon. With that nasty Viviane on the lose, Tessa didn’t have a choice. Who knew what the bitch would do next? Besides, now that Tessa realized love was involved, at least on her side, she wanted to be honest with him. He deserved that much. This little revelation would be much better coming from her than somebody else. Then why couldn’t she find the right words?
“What is it that troubles you, Tessa?”
What if he didn’t believe her? “Why do you think something is bothering me?”
“I have noted your silence.”
What if he thought she was crazy? “I thought you’d enjoy it.”
Believe Page 21