Calen
“Fuck!” I rolled away from her and barely let my head touch the pillow beside hers before I sat up in haste and left the bed. Even as I did it, I knew it was a dick move, but what else was there for me to do? It’s not like I was about to cuddle with her the way I used to after making love and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, fuck that. But I did feel like a monster as I left through the connecting door between our rooms without so much as a backward glance.
I headed straight to the shower and tried to wash her scent and the last, however, many hours off of me. I didn’t last one fucking day. That’s the embarrassing thought that kept going through my head. She’d left me, been gone for two fucking years without a thought, and within one day of her being back in my house, I found myself inside her again. Weak!
Not only was I inside her, I fucked her six ways from Sunday and then some. It must be glaringly obvious to her now that I hadn’t fucked anyone else in all the time she’d been gone. No man who’d been getting pussy on the regular would have that much left in him.
My dick is sore and raw, and I know from the heat of her flesh the last time I fucked her that she’s not faring much better. She never complained though; she’d been with me every step of the way with each fuck. She didn’t have a choice since I found it hard to withdraw my cock from her after each bout and instead stayed locked in her until my cock grew inside her again only to start the whole thing over.
Now that I was away from her and could think clearly again, I wondered if I’d lost my damn mind. Why would I put myself through this shit again? Why would I trust her anywhere near me? I had no answers for that, though I told myself that the reason I came inside her each time we fucked, the reason I want to get her with child, is because she owes me for missing out on Calen Jr.
It has nothing to do with me wanting her or wanting to play house with her disloyal ass. I just want what is rightfully my due. The longer I stayed under the water, the more pissed off I became, at her, at myself, at the whole damn world.
I noticed that as much as my mind raged, my dick was happy as fuck. I couldn’t seem to get the message through to him that she was the enemy because even as I reminded myself of all the reasons I should hate her, he was recalling what it felt like to be inside her again. Semi-hard ready, and willing. What a douche.
* * *
GISELLE
* * *
I laid in bed long after Calen had left, wondering about what comes next. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my actions and the way I’d tricked him again. When I first woke up and found him leaning over me, I was still caught up in the dream I was having of him and I and the baby together. In the dream, he’d forgiven me, and there was no animosity between us.
So when I opened my eyes and saw him there, so close, my mind played tricks on me. But by the time he lowered his head to mine, I was fully aware that it was no dream, but still, I went along with it, pretending. It’s hard for me to feel guilty though, when my body still burns from his loving.
I rolled and buried my heated face in the pillow as my mind replayed every second of every moment that he’d been here with me. Not even on our honeymoon did we make love that often or that vigorously, I might add. Calen has always been gentle with me, though sometimes we’d get a little carried away, he was always careful. Now I know that he’d been holding back. Because that hunger I felt in him was new.
I blushed at the scent of sex in the room. If anyone comes in here, which I’m sure the maids will at some point today, they will most definitely know what went on in here. I’d leaked all over the sheets. As I rolled in the opposite direction, my eyes landed on the playpen across the room, where our son was still fast asleep.
From the light coming through the window, I knew that it would soon be time for him to wake up, so even as my eyes drifted shut, I told myself I’d only take a quick nap and be up before the baby. It was my last thought before I fell into a deep slumberous dream with Calen looming over me, in me, and all around me.
* * *
I woke sometime later in a fog. I was sore between my thighs, but my body felt rested. I rolled onto my back as I got myself together, then came fully awake and sat up in bed. The baby was gone, and the sun was way up in the sky. A look at my watch said noon, but that couldn’t be right. It has been years since I’d slept this late.
I jumped out of bed and hurried to the private bath that came with this room. Where is the baby? No doubt, his father has him. But what must Calen think of me sleeping in this late? No doubt he’d use this against me. I rushed through my shower, not even taking time to wash my hair, just dragged a brush through it when I was done and pulled on the same clothes I’d worn the day before.
I rushed from the room and almost ran into one of the household staff, who was making her way to my room with a tray. “Oh, you’re awake, I was just about to bring you lunch.”
“Where’s my baby?” I didn’t even look at the food on the tray. Until I saw my son, I couldn’t eat a bite. I was already imagining Calen halfway around the world with my son.
“He’s with his father in the nursery. Everything has been delivered and set up.” I rushed away before she could finish speaking. Even though the nursery was right next door, the rooms in the mansion are so large that the door was a good few feet away still.
I rushed through the door and came to a full stop at the look Calen gave me. I expected the glare to turn into a sneer any minute, but he just looked away, which was even worst. I wanted to hold my baby after my mini scare but was too chicken to approach. “Did he eat?” Fine time to think about that. I’m making all the wrong moves here, giving Calen enough ammunition to find me unfit and take my son away from me.
“Yes, mom told me what he could have, and the chef made him mashed potatoes and strained peas for lunch, after I put him on your tit again.” my face went up in flames. I must’ve been really out of it this time to have slept through the whole thing.
I kept my eyes on my son, who seemed content to lay back against his father’s chest as he tried eating his toes. Words cannot express how horrible I felt at the fact that he didn’t even seem to miss me. Then he looked over at me and that smile so like his father’s split across his face, and I felt all the love I held for this little being well up inside me.
I could’ve sung a chorus of hallelujahs when he reached out his arms for me, and when Calen just kissed his little head before passing him off to me, I treasured the little moment. It was the first that we’d shared without any hint of animosity between us. “I have some business to tend to now that you’re up, or do you need another few hours of rest?”
His words weren’t exactly biting, but there was no mistaking the censure in his voice. “Are you in the habit of sleeping the day away while my son fends for himself?” It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that it was his fault that I’d been so tired but thought better of it. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t.”
He left the room after that leaving me feeling like an absolute failure. I guess in his mind, we’d both gone to bed at the same time, and if he could be up and about, so should I. But it had been years since I’d taken part in such extracurricular activities while he probably hadn’t stopped long enough for the ink to dry on our divorce before moving on. I bet I knew who he’d moved onto.
I brushed that thought away the same way I had been for the first year after I left when it was all I could think about. The thoughts had been so debilitating that my therapist had threatened to medicate me if I didn’t get a grip on my emotions. She could have no idea how hard it was for me to imagine Calen with the one woman I always knew was more his match that I could ever be.
Dana was one of those perfect specimens of blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty and a body that had been sculpted by a master. She was perfect in every way, and there wasn’t a day of my marriage that I didn’t question why my husband hadn’t married her when he could’ve. It was obvious to everyon
e, well to me at least that she would’ve jumped at the offer.
Though I was never brave enough to broach the subject with Calen when we were married for fear of rocking the boat, it’s something that I’d always wondered about. Add the fact that Dana tended to be jovial when others were around but gave me the cold silent treatment when it was just her, and I left alone in a room, and I was doubly sure that the other woman had designs on my husband.
The thought that she had been there to pick up the pieces after I left had kept me awake many a night. But I had to satisfy myself with the knowledge that I was doing this for Calen. That it was the only way to save him from my mother and whatever mayhem she could cause.
As if I’d conjured her, I heard her voice coming down the hallway and wasn’t surprised. Everyone else would’ve been relegated to the other side of the house away from the private quarters, not Calen’s best friend though; she’d always pretty much had the run of the house, something I always hated but was too insecure to contest.
The door to the nursery flung open, and she stood there with a look I found hard to read on her face. There was no missing the fleeting anger that crossed her face though before she hid it behind one of her most charming smiles. If I made mention of it now, Calen would never believe me since he couldn’t see her face from his position behind her back.
She made her way towards me, and my son and I held onto him tighter. Something inside of me seized up, and I went cold all over at the thought of her touching my son, and I found myself doing something I would’ve never thought possible. “I’m sorry, he needs changing, if you’ll excuse us.”
I got up from my seat, and if either of them found it strange that I was leaving the nursery to go change him elsewhere, they didn’t make mention of it. Then again, I didn’t give them a chance to. No way am I going to let Calen and her play house with my son. The very thought is repulsive.
Giselle
“Just what the hell are you playing at?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. Why did you walk away like that? You knew that she wanted to see the baby. Now give him here.” He reached for my son, but I held him out of reach, clutching him close to my chest as my knees threatened to give out on me. I hate confrontation, something Calen is very aware of and had gone to great lengths when we were married to help me with.
“No!” Words burned holes in my tongue. Things that I wish I could say out loud instead of keeping them bottled up inside, but I couldn’t bring myself to open that can of worms, not now when everything was so uncertain between us. I know with his volatile personality that he’s just looking for any excuse to be rid of me, and I won’t be the one to give him the rope to hang me with.
Why did she have to show up here now? The day after our night together? Even if he’d been tempted to open his heart to me again, that was all gone now with her presence, I’m sure. I’d forgotten how Calen could get when he heard the word ‘no’ then again, he’s never been this mad at me before in the past, so this was new. I’d seen it directed at others, though, but never myself. That, too, had changed.
I took a step back from the murderous look on his face and swallowed hard. “He needs changing.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, you just left a fully stocked nursery with a state of the art changing table, I might add, to come in here to do what?”
I placed the baby on the bed to get away from that look and started tugging at his clothes only to find that he was dry as a whistle.
“See, he doesn’t even need changing. Now you’re gonna go out there and apologize to her. And if you ever embarrass me like that again, you’ll live to regret it. Now give me my son. She’s going to be his Godmother, so get used to it.” I was backed into a corner, not sure what to do or what to say to get out of it, but those words ignited whatever pitiful rage I could muster in the face of his anger.
I reminded myself then and there that I’d faced my worst fears that I’d defied the person I feared most in this world to protect my son. I may owe Calen for how I disappeared and kept his son from him, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever let that woman anywhere near my child. I snatched the baby up and held him close to my chest while looking over his head at his dad.
“She’s not. I don’t want your…your… I don’t want her anywhere near my son. If you try to let her have him, I’ll leave with him right now.” Oh shit! Calen marched across the room and leaned down into my face. He’s not my mother! Though her cruelty outweighs his by far, he doesn’t just threaten action but carries through each and every time. He’d once told me that if a man doesn’t follow his word, he’s counted as a fool.
“Don’t you ever fucking threaten me again!” He said the words low and hard so as not to alert our son, I guess, but they seemed all the harsher for it. That, coupled with the look in his eyes, had me retreating and deflating. Anger and jealousy roiled together in my chest, and I found myself close to tears because there was nothing I could do. I had no claim to him, no foot to stand on if he decided that he wanted to be with her.
“Now, give him here.” He took the baby from me as my eyes filled up with tears.
“Stop being an idiot; you think I’d let someone hurt my son? Besides, you know Dana she’s been one of my best friends since forever, long before I met you and get this, she’s never betrayed me before, so I trust her with my son more than I do you.” If he meant to hurt me with that one, he succeeded spectacularly.
I felt the scream tickle the back of my throat and, for a split second, knew that I was going to lose my mind. Instead, I swallowed the hurt and my pride and rushed to follow him out the door. She was waiting for us with a triumphant look for me, and that same simpering sticky sweet smile she always saved for him but was now aimed at my son as well.
I took everything in me not to revolt when Calen handed the baby to her, but my son, bless his perfect little heart, started screaming and reaching for his father, witch. “Hey, big guy, what’s the matter? That’s your aunt Dana, don’t you want to say hi?” I stepped forward, ready to snatch my son if he tried to force the issue, but Calen held onto him and rocked him on his shoulder soothingly.
“Well, Dana, I see your touch with kids is still in great form.”
“You know me, mother of the year in the making. I don’t know why babies hate me. I guess they can smell the career-driven genes in me and think they don’t stand a chance. No matter, unlike all the others, this one is yours, so I’ll have plenty of time to get to know him. Isn’t that right little guy?”
She shook the baby’s foot as she spoke before turning her gaze to me. “It’s nice to see you again, Giselle; I guess we’ll be seeing more of you now that you’ve moved back in.”
“She didn’t, and you won’t.”
I wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole at his words and the smarmy look on her face.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to take my son for a walk in the gardens. If that’s okay with you, of course.” I gave Calen such a scathing look I was sure he couldn’t miss it, but he said nothing as he passed Junior to me without a word. “So, how was Bimini? You look, well-rested?” He was talking to her before I even cleared the door as if I hadn’t just been standing there.
“It was lovely, and you were missed as usual. I went to all our favorite places, and everyone asked for you. It’s not the norm for them to see me there without you after all, and everyone made mention of it. It got so bad I thought of wearing a sign saying you got stuck working, and everything was fine between us.”
I felt like ten kinds of fool as I closed the door behind me: Bimini, the first stop on our honeymoon tour. I took the hit and kept moving because what else am I going to do? It’s obvious now that they’d become an item after I’d left. I can’t say that I’m surprised; I always wondered why they never got together before. I’d spent many a night worrying myself ragged over their friendship, and now my worst fears were confirmed.
It’s no
ne of your concern anymore. He’s not your husband. Yes, but that worry is something I would’ve lived with our whole union if I’d stuck around. It had nothing to do with why I’d left, of course, but now that I was back here, a lot of old buried emotions were coming to the forefront.
* * *
CALEN
* * *
I saw her look as she left the room, and though I knew that Dana’s words were a bit misleading, I didn’t seek to correct her or the assumptions that my ex had so obviously drawn. She’s jealous, even a blind man can see that, but I don’t think that I care one way or the other. I’d spent too many nights wondering if she was in someone else’s bed the whole time she was gone, let her have a taste of her own medicine.
I found though that I wasn’t interested in shooting the breeze with my old friend now that my ex and son were gone. I wanted to be out there with them even though I had a ton of work to take care of. Things that I’d left undone the day before. I’d missed out on so much of my baby’s life, a lot that I wanted to make up for.
“Hey, Dana, I know you came all the way out here to tell me about your trip, but can we put that off for another time? I need to spend some time with my son.”
“Is it your son that you’re running after, or her? Don’t fall back into her trap again, Calen, you’re smarter than that.”
I leaned my head to the side with my patented ‘what the fuck’ look. “First, no, and second, it’s none of your business if I am or not. You know I don’t like anyone interfering in my personal business, not even you.” Dana swallowed hard and looked away in embarrassment.
I was being harsh, I know, but she’s one of the people who had a lot to say about Giselle when she first left. She’d finally let her true feelings about my ex be known and though I knew she was coming from a place of friendship, now was not the time for an ‘I told you so.’ Not the morning after the night I’d spent in my ex’s bed.
Dare To Love Again Page 7