by Inara Scott
“How could I have fixed that?” he’d asked helplessly, so sad it had broken Kelsey’s heart. “How could I have made that better?”
“You couldn’t have,” she’d replied. And then she’d kissed him, and the world had narrowed to the feeling of his lips covering hers. His tongue ravaged her mouth, leaving her prisoner to the sensual onslaught. He’d tickled his way from her lips to her throat, even as his hands brought her nipples to hard, aching peaks.
He’d been gentle and unrelenting. He’d brought her to a climax she’d never experienced.
And now she was supposed to pretend it had never happened?
She kept her thoughts behind a blank face. “Of course. I barely recognized you. It was a long time ago, as you say.”
When his jaw tensed, she could tell her words rankled, just a little. Which she enjoyed.
“Good. We’re agreed.” He kept walking and she matched his pace, noticing from the corner of her eye as one of those strong, competent hands—the ones she’d noticed right from the start—tensed briefly in a fist before relaxing at his side. “Jenna e-mailed this morning. She said she got Marie’s calls and messages after she landed and trusts her to find someone qualified. As long as the kids are happy, she said I should let you stay.”
“And do you agree?”
He blew out a breath. “You’ve got to understand how it feels from my point of view. You aren’t exactly the kind of person I’d look for to babysit my kids.”
A frisson of anger bubbled in her stomach. “What makes you say that, exactly?”
He gestured toward her. “Come on, let’s be honest. I got to know you a little that night, Kelsey. You’re a mountain climber—a risk taker. Not a kindergarten teacher. I wouldn’t dream of judging you for it, but I’m not sure you’re babysitting material.”
The bubble turned into a low boil. “Oh no, that doesn’t sound judgmental at all. Do you really think you know me, Mr. Armchair Psychiatrist?”
“I’m sorry, but you’re twenty-nine years old, and based on the résumé Marie sent me, you’ve never held down a regular job.”
“I do website development and maintenance on a contract basis so I can be available for climbing trips and sponsor development,” she said through gritted teeth. “Sometimes I have to travel unexpectedly or do a photo shoot when a reporter’s in town. It doesn’t lend itself to a nine-to-five existence. My degree is in information systems, so I’m doing exactly what I planned.”
“Your résumé said you were trained as an EMT. Why don’t you do that?”
“Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?” she asked.
He shook his head.
“It’s one of the hardest things a person can do. If you’d ever had to respond to a fatal car accident, you’d know what I mean. I keep my certification up to date because it’s important for our trips. It was never a job I ever wanted to do full-time.”
She had to fight to keep the rising anger under control. Defending her life choices hadn’t been on her morning’s agenda.
He paused, obviously derailed by the force of her comment. “But you haven’t worked as a nanny before?”
“No.”
“And judging from what I found in the garbage this morning, you can’t cook a box of macaroni and cheese.”
“That’s correct.” She straightened, rigid with hurt. Her voice trembled with the effort of containing the other words that threatened to spill out. “I also have a junker car and I don’t carry Legos or fruit snacks in my purse. Anything else you want to point out?”
“I’m not trying to insult you,” he said. “I just think we need to have some ground rules if you’re going to keep working for me. To keep the kids safe.”
The irony of his statement was overwhelming. She might not know a thing about cooking or cleaning, or living the kind of life that most people her age lived, but that didn’t mean she was irresponsible. Had Mr. Too-Good-for-Himself Bencher ever had another person’s life hanging on the end of a rope while he climbed a fourteen-thousand-foot peak? Had he ever had to plan the meals for a six-week trek where there were no resupplies, and limited water available? Had he ever had to make the decision whether to evac someone with altitude sickness or to press on, hoping they’d acclimatize along the way?
In his world, responsible meant remembering to pick up the milk on the way home from work. In hers, it meant remembering to secure a buckle so no one fell out of a harness while thousands of feet in the air.
“Ground rules.” She shoved her hands into her pockets. “Sort of like you would give to a three-year-old?” Deliberately, she forced her voice to stay calm and pleasant. She refused to give him the satisfaction of her anger. It wasn’t as if he would understand, anyway. Marie had never understood how a cautious person like Kelsey ended up halfway around the world, on a mountain that killed almost as many people as it let summit—and she was Kelsey’s closest friend.
Some days, Kelsey barely understood herself.
He jerked a quick look at her, eyebrows drawn together as if concerned she might explode. “No, not like that,” he said carefully. “I just want to make sure the expectations are clear.”
As much as she wanted to argue with him, the fact remained that he was right. Hadn’t she just been arguing to Marie yesterday that she had no idea what to do with kids? “Makes perfect sense,” she said, her smile plastered in place.
He cleared his throat before he began. “No more handstands or gymnastics. I’d prefer that you only run short errands with the kids in the car. I went grocery shopping this morning and got lunch meat and sandwich fixings, so you don’t need to cook.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it was unexpectedly painful to realize how little he thought of her. Dully, she nodded.
“Hope is coming tomorrow, right?”
“She’s still in the hospital. It could be a few more days until she’s back.”
He paused, pursing his lips as if considering the information. She thought then about turning around and walking away. The desire to slam the car door in his face and leave him on the curb was overwhelming. But this wasn’t about her. It was about Marie and Hope. This was five days out of her life, and the only downside was that she’d lose some training time. For Hope, it meant losing full-time work for the summer, and possibly a great part-time job that she could keep when she went back to school in the fall.
Marie hadn’t mentioned it, but Kelsey knew Hope’s finances constantly teetered on total disaster. She’d had to drop out of school six years ago when her mom got sick, leaving Hope with a host of medical bills and little means of paying them. Hope loved being a nanny, but she really wanted to be a teacher. Gentle Hands supplied her with relatively constant work, but she needed a degree if she was ever going to be financially secure.
“Fine,” he said, though he was clearly not happy about the situation. “You can tell Marie the end of the week is okay. But any longer than that and I’m going to find someone new.” He patted her arm as if he were comforting a child. “I’m sure you’re a really great mountaineer, Kelsey. I’m just not sure about you being a nanny. I hope you understand.”
She took a long, slow breath and tried to remember one of her yoga mantras. “I understand completely. You need to protect your kids. From me. I appreciate the ground rules, and I’ll do my best to obey them. I hope it’s okay if we go over to the park?” She pointed down the hill.
He brightened. “That sounds great. I’ll be home for most of the day. If you have any questions about safe activities, just ask.”
She dug her fingernails into her palm, shaking with the effort of keeping calm. “Thanks. I’m so glad to know you’re here.”
…
Ross wasn’t sure what to say after that. He’d been up half the night trying to decide what to tell her when she came back in the morning. Having her there yesterday had been nothing short of a nightmare. He’d thought about her constantly, desire simmering just below the surface every time he looked at her
. He’d played out scenarios in his mind—starting, of course, with taking her back to a hotel and having crazy sex with her all night long.
It hadn’t taken long to reject that notion. Kelsey was the kind of woman you slept with but she was definitely not the kind you dated or brought home to meet your kids. She was a risk-taker and a drifter, precisely the opposite of the kind of woman he needed. And since she’d now met his kids, it would be impossible to put her back into the “someone you slept with” box. Which meant that parting ways was the only choice he had.
He’d thought about calling Marie and telling her he didn’t want Kelsey back, but that felt cowardly, and a little silly. Just because he couldn’t look at her without thinking dirty thoughts didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of keeping the kids from setting the house on fire. He could handle the attraction. He wasn’t an adolescent, for pity’s sake.
He didn’t doubt that he’d done the right thing by creating ground rules, though he could tell Kelsey was annoyed. He supposed he should be grateful she’d taken it so well. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings, but he really didn’t have a choice. He needed a babysitter, and right now, she was all he had. When the week was over and the other nanny had returned, Kelsey would be out of their lives anyway. Which was exactly what he wanted.
Wasn’t it?
Chapter Six
Thursday morning, Ross watched as Kelsey pulled up in front of the house in her decrepit vehicle. Her long legs preceded the rest of her as she got out of the car, her small bag settled on her hip like some kind of talisman. He flicked his paper and pretended not to notice her. It wasn’t as if he was waiting for her to arrive, after all. He just enjoyed drinking his coffee in the front room of the house. Marie had called him the night before to say that Hope was now out of the hospital and feeling much better, but it would be a couple of days before she felt strong enough to take care of the kids. She’d start on Monday, if that was okay with him.
Of course, he’d said. No problem. Kelsey’s working out fine…
She’d been in his house for eight hours a day for three days, and damned if it wasn’t getting harder with every passing hour. He told himself he kept checking up on the kids because he didn’t trust her, but he was hard-pressed to find anything she’d actually done that he could complain about. At some point, he’d have to admit that he was drawn to her by some horrible magnetic pull, and things weren’t getting any better with time.
For her part, Kelsey seemed determined to avoid him as much as possible. She kept the kids at the park most of the day, avoided his eyes, and responded to him in monosyllables. She shivered any time he touched her, even if it was nothing more than a finger brush when he handed her the keys to his car. Given how aware he was of her every moment of the day, some inner masculine pride delighted at her obvious discomfort, choosing to believe it was because she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and not that she had come to hate him for being an overbearing ass.
The sound of the doorbell startled him out of his reverie. Julia ran from the kitchen to open the door. Since that first day, Kelsey had appeared each morning wearing longish shorts and a T-shirt, nothing remotely sexual or enticing, yet somehow the fabric of her shirt always seemed to cling to the curve of her breasts, and when she wore her hair loose it was practically indecent, cascading over her shoulders in a manner that seemed to beg for his fingers to be running through it. After letting her cross the threshold, Julia jumped into Kelsey’s arms. Ross started to wave his hands to stop her, but Kelsey effortlessly lifted the girl up.
Apparently all that yoga really did build some strength.
Julia wrapped her legs around Kelsey’s waist. “Will you braid my hair this morning? And then I want to go work on my cartwheel. I know you said we couldn’t, but I’ve been practicing every night after you leave and Matt’s been watching videos on YouTube about doing handstands. Can’t we just practice a little? I promise I’ll be careful.”
Kelsey gave Julia a hug, looking oddly natural with the child in her arms. Ross had noticed that in the three days she’d been with them, she’d become much more comfortable with the kids. On the first day, he’d noticed her awkwardly return Julia’s hug good-bye and hesitantly wave at Matt and Luke from across the room. Now, she ruffled Julia’s hair as if she were one of the family, hitched the girl higher on her waist, and shot Ross a look that clearly said, “This is your problem, bucko.”
He cleared his throat. “First of all, Matt should know better than to be playing on YouTube without asking me. And second, Jules, I told you that it’s better if you wait and do that sort of thing later. With me.”
Julia set her face into a full-on pout. “But Daddy! You don’t know anything about gymnastics! Kelsey got a gold medal once in gymnastics. She’s way better at it than you are. You didn’t even know that you’re supposed to tuck your head when you do a somersault.”
Ross gritted his teeth. Of course he didn’t know how to do a somersault. He’d been a football player, not a gymnast. But the kids had been nagging him incessantly to let them practice the moves Kelsey had shown them on her first day, and last night, he’d given in to their demands. Trying to act confident, he’d launched himself into a somersault and then been roundly scolded by his daughter when he hurt his neck.
He ignored Julia’s taunt. “A gold medal?” he said to Kelsey. “How, um…how did you get that?”
“I competed during high school,” she said, gaze landing somewhere beyond his left shoulder.
He didn’t know what to say in response. “Oh. Of course.”
“See, Daddy? See?” Julia shot him a quick, triumphant look before homing back in like a laser on Kelsey. “So this morning you can braid my hair, and then maybe we can go to the park and practice.”
Kelsey carefully peeled the girl off her torso and set her back on the floor. “It’s up to your dad, Julia.”
He scowled, feeling like an idiot. “Fine. Just be careful, okay? No flips or anything.”
Julia clapped her hands. “Yay! Let’s go right now!”
“Hang on,” Kelsey said. “Let’s see what your brothers want to do this morning. I brought my bike. I thought maybe we could all bike to the park together.” She glanced over at Ross and then added, with a deliberate note of deference, “If that’s okay with you, of course. I promise we will wear helmets and not go too fast.”
Julia’s eyebrows knitted together. “You want all of us to go for a bike ride? Even the boys?”
Kelsey laughed. “Of course, silly. We won’t go too fast. I’ll make sure they wait for you.”
Julia shook her head. “Not me.” She reached up with both hands to grab at Kelsey’s face. She crouched down so the little girl could whisper in her ear.
Surprise turned her pink mouth into a perfect O. “Luke? Really?” She glanced at Ross, seeking confirmation.
He paused. As Julia had apparently informed her, Luke wasn’t good on his bike, and group outings had always been something of a disaster. Luke had always been slightly unsteady, and while he’d learned to ride he’d never become confident in his skill. As with other physical pursuits, part of the problem was the comparison with Matt, who’d never met a physical activity he couldn’t dominate. When he was feeling insecure, Luke could make a bike trip completely miserable. Right now, given his already-grumpy attitude, an afternoon on bikes could be nothing less than a nightmare.
“Well,” he hemmed. “He’s not really great—”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Kelsey interrupted. He caught a hint of exasperation in her eyes. Clearly, she thought this was another example of him being overly cautious.
She had no idea.
“I’ll check the brakes before we leave,” she offered. “Because of the hill.”
She shook her head back slightly to clear her hair from her eyes, and the silky waves swung lightly to either side of her face. He had a flash of memory and found himself yearning to tuck one of those long strands behind her ear, just as he had the
first night they’d met. He fought not to recall the feeling of that hair as he tangled it his palms while she cried out beneath him.
Damn it.
He was her boss. Maybe he could order her to wear her hair in a bun?
“Da-dee!” Julia whined. “I want to go for a bike ride.”
An inner battle waged. He clearly should tell Kelsey all about Luke, and warn her not to go on what would almost certainly be an ill-fated expedition. But then she glanced at him with that barely concealed look of irritation and in some horrible, evil little part of his brain—perhaps the same part of his brain that couldn’t stop thinking lustful thoughts—he found himself not wanting to tell her the truth. It was petty and ridiculous, but for some reason that morning he resented her, with her casual beauty and effortless sensuality. Her lack of three kids. Her utter and complete freedom to do whatever she wanted.
Luke would be safe on the bike. The park was just a few blocks away. The worst that would happen would be a miserable couple of hours with a trio of squabbling kids.
Besides, he could honestly use an empty house for a few hours while he worked on the proposal for Herriot.
He hesitated for only a second before he smiled at Julia and nodded to Kelsey. “Of course you can go. Have fun. I want to hear all about it when you come home.”
…
Kelsey brushed back a long, damp handful of hair and retied her ponytail. After a tired shake of her head, she pulled her T-shirt away from her back, fanning the sweaty skin with the cool air-conditioning of the house. She’d never had air-conditioning before—had never seen any need for it—but now she relished the obscene use of energy. Life was different when it wasn’t just you who was hot, but three pouty, unhappy kids.
She began to fill water bottles from the spout on the refrigerator, while inside, she seethed.
She’d been set up. The bastard had set her up. The bastard with the achingly blue eyes that followed her wherever she went. The one with the hands she couldn’t forget, and the voice that sent shivers up and down her spine.