by N. P. Martin
With Sanaka now standing beside me having come through the gateway himself, I finally lifted my head to see Leona laid out on the floor a few feet away with Ray kneeling over her, my trench coat laying beside her. Behind Ray, Blaez lay sprawled out on the floor, his yellow eyes staring at me as he barked his delight at seeing me again. Barney was perched on a table over in the corner, his head down, eyes half closed as if in mourning over Margot.
Ray looked at me with a mixture of relief and concern on his face. "What the hell kept you?" he snapped.
I shook my head as if I didn't want to talk about it, which I didn't. In fact, I would have been happy never mentioning the Underworld ever again. "I got held up."
Ray shook his head before his eyes went to Sanaka. "You made it, old friend."
"Lucky for these two," Sanaka said as he walked over to where Leona lay. Sanaka looked a bit worse for wear himself. His once pristine clothes were now torn and dirty, his face and arms streaked with blood. Despite it all, he still had his sword with him. Whatever else had happened, he hadn't lost it.
"What happened?" Ray asked Sanaka. "You were carried away by that demon."
"I escaped," Sanaka said as he crouched over Leona as if to examine her.
Ray nodded as if no further explanation were needed.
Leona wasn't moving. Her eyes were closed. Her face looked slack. In the brighter light, the extent of her injuries became more obvious. Numerous small cuts and deeper gashes covered her whole body, along with patches of dark bruising. She looked like she had been tortured bad.
Jesus Christ...
"Is she..." I said, my voice no more than a hoarse whisper.
"She's alive," Ray said. "But she has a lot of healing to do. It could take days."
"I will examine her fully," Sanaka said. "Then I will heal her."
I crawled forward on my hands and knees and drew myself up beside Leona, lifting my trench coat and draping it over the top of her naked body. Sanaka might help her body, but healing her mind would be a different story. Leona was going to have to do that all by herself.
"I'm sorry, son," Ray said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't be," I said, shaking my head. "We got her back. That's all that matters."
"And the other one?" Sanaka asked.
I shook my head again. "Margot made a choice. She sacrificed herself to save us."
Sanaka bowed his head slightly as if he was impressed by Margot's honorable actions.
"Speaking of which," I said, looking at Ray. "You knew that place would be destroyed once Baal went through that vortex, didn't you?"
Ray looked at me but said nothing. Sanaka said nothing either, as he would have known the truth as well.
"Let's get the girl to the healing room," Sanaka said eventually, breaking the silence that had developed. He stood over Leona with his hands held out in front of him palms down. Then he used his magick to raise Leona off the floor about four feet. It would be less stressful on her than having to carry her.
"Guys," I said as both Ray and Sanaka looked at me. "Thank you, both. I couldn't have gotten Leona back without you. I'm forever in your debt."
"You're already in both our debts for life," Ray said. "You couldn't possibly be in any more."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Sure, okay."
"I tell you what," Ray said. "Why don't you going and grab us a bottle of sake and we'll call it even, eh?" Ray smiled the way a father would smile at his son. Sanaka also nodded his agreement.
"Alright guys," I said, the hope in me already rising from the ashes again. "Sake it is then."
While Leona lay in the healing room, now on a drip feed of medicine concocted by Sanaka (who was one of the best healers I knew), Ray, Sanaka and I sat in the living room drinking sake. All three of us were exhausted. Me more so, I had to say. Ray and Sanaka might have been a lot older than I was, but they were made of sterner stuff. In fact, now that the whole Underworld ordeal was over, the two of them now seemed relaxed and relatively unfazed by everything that had happened. It was going to take me a bit longer to get to that stage, however. So much had happened, and with Margot gone and Leona still unconscious, I found it difficult to settle myself in any way. The only upside was that I was so mentally and physically drained that I would soon need sleep, which would at least bring me blessed oblivion for a while.
"You did well in there," Ray said to me as he refilled all our glasses. "You should be proud."
"Proud?" I couldn't help but snort. "Give me a break, Ray, will you? I almost got myself and Leona fucking killed. If it wasn't for Sanaka..." I trailed off as I shook my head.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Sanaka said. "We all could have died in that place, not just you."
"We worked as a team," Ray said. "And a damn good one at that, I have to say." He raised his glass and waited on Sanaka to do the same.
"To Margot," I said as I raised my glass. "Who saved us all."
"To Margot," Ray said, knocking back his sake.
"Margot," Sanaka said bowing his head slightly.
Ray put his glass on a small wooden coffee table then and stood up, groaning as if his bones ached. "Right," he said. "It is time for me to go. I should have been away days ago."
"You're leaving?" I said, surprised at how disappointed I felt at him saying he was leaving.
"Places to be, people to see," Ray said. "You know how it is."
Sanaka finished his drink and stood up, extending his hand towards Ray. "It has been an honor as always, old friend."
Ray grabbed Sanaka's hand and pulled him forwards, embracing him in a hug. Sanaka stood awkwardly for a second and then patted Ray on the back. "You too," Ray said. "You too."
Sanaka excused himself from the room at that point, saying he was going to check on Leona, leaving Ray and me alone.
"I can't believe you're going again," I said, standing up. "I was just getting used to having you around."
Ray smiled and pulled me into a hug. "I count my time spent with you as my most precious," he said. "And always will."
We pulled apart. "Let's see if you still think that next time you're banging Angela Crow."
Ray laughed. "Angela is indeed a special breed."
"Yes, a special breed of monster. I'll never know what you see in her."
"I could tell you, but..."
"Don't bother."
We both laughed. "Seriously, though," I said. "Don't leave it so long next time."
"And you," Ray said. "When's the last time you went home? I can't even think it was so long ago. You should take Leona and come visit me in Ireland."
I nodded like it was a great idea, despite being repelled by the thought. "This is my home now, but I'll think about going over to Ireland at some point."
Ray stood for a moment as if he wanted to get one last look at me before he left. "Take care, son," he said.
"I will," I said swallowing.
Then he was gone.
I found an empty bed after that (the same bed I used to sleep in when I lived at Sanaka's Sanctum) and crawled into it, immediately falling into a deep sleep that was occasionally punctuated by nightmares involving Baal and the Underworld. At least once, I awoke with a scream, soaked in sweat, thinking I was still trapped in Baal's domain as it all fell away around me.
When I eventually awoke properly, I got out of the bed (still in my clothes, minus the boots of course) and went straight to the healing room to find Sanaka there tidying up, disposing of blood stained cloths and various empty jars and bottles. I froze in the doorway as I saw no sign of Leona. "Where is she?" I asked frantically.
Sanaka paused with his cleaning up for a moment to look at me. "She left," he said.
A frown creased my face. "Left? What do you mean? Ray said it would take days and--"
"It has been days." Sanaka paused for a second. "Three days."
"Three fucking days?" I shook my head, unable to believe I had slept for so long. "Alright, I need to go and see her."
"What?"
"She instructed me to tell you not to come and see her."
"What? What the fuck? What do you mean? Why would..." I trailed off as the reason why suddenly made itself felt in me like a hammer to the gut. "That's all she said?"
Sanaka nodded. "Only that she would come and see you when she was ready."
I stood for a moment battling the sadness that wanted to send me straight back to bed again. "Thank you for healing her."
"Of course," Sanaka said. "You are free to stay here if you wish."
I shook my head. "Thanks, but I'm just going to go."
Sanaka nodded and went back to his cleaning like I had already gone.
35
Aftermath
For the next two days, I holed up in the Sanctum and screened all of my calls (at least the calls that came through on the landline because I had smashed my other phone to bits), having no wish to talk to anyone. The bulk of the calls were from Brentwood, which was no surprise. The Division chief even called at the Sanctum on two occasions, demanding that I open the door so I could get to work on his cult case. Needless to say, I ignored Brentwood's demands. I would get to him when I was good and ready, and I was far from being ready to jump right into another case straight away.
The fact was, I was mourning Margot Celeste, and also the death of my relationship with Leona. Not that I knew for certain that Leona wanted nothing more to do with me, but if I were her, I wouldn't want anything to do with me, not after my betrayal. The only kernel of hope I had left in me was sparked by the fact that Leona had said she loved me back in the Underworld. Of course, she had been half dead at the time, but that didn't matter. She still said it. Which only made me feel worse about the fact that I had slept with Margot behind Leona's back.
So I sat around the Sanctum drinking whiskey and smoking some of Ray's special herb blend that he had conveniently left behind him. It wasn't long before I had sunk into a deep depression. I had spent the last while holding everything in, trying to stay strong so I could do what I had to do. Now that all that was done, I had no reason to keep up my defenses. Consequently, all those emotions I'd been keeping in check flooded out of their hiding places in my mind so they could turn my world black.
A few times in my drunk and stoned state, I tried to call Leona. The furthest I usually got was dialing the number and then hanging up before it could ring. She had said to Sanaka that she would contact me when she was ready, so she wouldn't have been happy with me calling her before that. So I resisted contacting her, as hard as that was.
Then late one evening, the phone rang while I lay drunkenly slouched in the living room making a bottle of whiskey float around by itself. At first, I wasn't even going to answer the ringing phone, thinking it would probably be Brentwood again anyway. But the ringing persisted, and I eventually got up and answered the phone. "Yeah?" I said in the world's weariest voice.
"Creed?"
"Leona." It felt good to hear her voice. Just the sound of it seemed to cut through my depression. "It's good to hear your voice."
She was silent for a moment, clearly unsure of what to say. "Are you drunk?"
"Drunk?" I shook my head. "Not really. A little."
"I was going to come over. We need to talk."
"Okay." I was trying to gauge from the sound of her voice what sort of mood she was in. What sort of mood she was in with me. But as always with Leona, it was too difficult to tell. She played her cards close to her chest.
An awkward silence developed, broken by Leona. "Creed? Is that okay?"
"Eh, sure. Yeah. Of course."
"I won't be long."
"Meet me on the roof," I said, deciding I needed fresh air to try and sober up a bit. "I'll leave the front door open for you."
When she hung up, I stood there for a bit with the phone still in my hand, no longer happy that Leona was coming over, but dreading now what she was going to say. Was she coming over to tell me in person that it was over between us? That I had betrayed her, and that she couldn't forgive that?
"Shit," I said replacing the receiver on the phone.
Up on the roof, it was a mild night apart from the occasional burst of cold wind. I stood with my trench coat on, arms folded tight across my chest as I stared out over the city, my head somewhat clearer thanks to the fresh air in my lungs.
"Something troubling you, August?"
I looked over my shoulder to see the ghost of Arthur Hendrix coming up behind me. "Hey, Arthur." The old black man looked as he always did in his tailored three-piece suit, which was in stark contrast to his shock of pure white hair. "Why would you say that?"
Arthur saddled up beside me, almost translucent in the moonlight. "Because you only seem to come up here when things are troubling you. What's up? Maybe I can help, as long as it doesn't involve a woman."
"It does."
"Ah, well then, I can't help you, I'm afraid. You're looking at a man who was married and divorced five times in his lifetime."
"Five times? That's a lot."
"You're telling me. I finally realized after the fifth time that men and women are not compatible, except for sex of course. A man should only be married to his business and his money."
"Maybe not the money."
"Of course the fucking money! What's a man with no money? I'll tell you. Nothing."
I shook my head at Arthur's capitalist philosophy. "Shouldn't you be off somewhere haunting your son-in-law or something?"
"I was about to do exactly that before I saw you up here."
"Well, don't let me stop you."
Arthur nodded. "Alright, I'll leave you alone. I've got that bastard son-in-law running scared now anyway. You know he hired a ghost hunter? A goddamn ghost hunter! All I can say is, wait until they get a load of this fucking guy!" Arthur went to nudge me with his elbow, and his arm went straight through me.
"Have fun," I said as I watched Leona's black SUV pull up on the street below.
"Hey," Arthur said before he went on his merry way. "What's meant to be will be, and there ain't nothing you can do about that. I learned that one a long time ago."
"Thanks for the advice," I said rolling my eyes at how unhelpful that was. "Bye Arthur."
Leona made it up to the roof a few moments later. I felt awkward as I watched her cross the roof towards me. She was dressed in a dark pantsuit, and for someone who had nearly died in the Underworld only days before, I thought she looked pretty good. More than good actually. Up a little closer, though, I saw the haunted look in her eyes, and I immediately felt bad. That look was all my fault, created by trauma that I brought about through my selfish actions. "Hey," I said doing my best to smile at her. "You...look good."
Leona barely smiled as she stood beside me and stared out over the city for one long, tense moment while I waited for her to speak. It was difficult not to just launch into a full diatribe about what an asshole I was, but I knew she wouldn't want to listen to that, so I said nothing instead.
"I'll keep this brief, Creed," she said eventually, and I knew by her tone that I wasn't going to like what was coming next. "I think we should stop seeing each other."
I let her words hang there in the air as they all but confirmed my feelings on the matter, and which were nonetheless devastating. "Can I at least explain..."
"You think I'm doing this because you slept with that witch?"
Somehow her saying it aloud made it seem ten times worse. "Aren't you?"
A sigh escaped her, and she moved a strand of her hair from her face. "She told me she seduced you, that she used her magick on you."
"She did? Yes, she did."
"Whatever. It happened, and it can't be changed. The woman is gone now anyway."
The coldness of here tone stunned me slightly, especially since I still felt the loss of Margot so rawly inside. "A bit harsh, Leona. She saved our lives."
Leona closed her eyes for a second. "I know she did."
A tense sil
ence grew up between us as she continued staring out over the city while I stared down to the street below. Eventually, I couldn't take the silence anymore, and I had to speak. "Look, Leona, I know things have been hard lately--"
"Hard?" She laughed coldly and shook her head. "You have no idea what I went through in that place, no...fucking...idea." Tears stung at her eyes as she turned away from me slightly.
"I know, and I'm sorry."
She shook her head again as if sorry didn't cut it. "I've just had enough, Creed. I've had enough of all the supernatural bullshit. I just can't take it anymore. Being kidnapped and tortured by that fucking demon was just the last straw for me."
I wasn't sure what to say to her. It wasn't really what I was expecting to hear from her, to be honest. "What are you saying?"
She turned fully to look at me, her blue eyes vivid in the moonlight. "You're like a magnet for the supernatural, Creed, for trouble. It follows you everywhere. It's a part of you. I'm saying, I can't be a part of that anymore. I can't be a part of...this anymore."
"Us you mean."
"Yes."
Once again I stood in silence, unsure of how to proceed. She seemed so adamant I didn't think there was anything I could say to change her mind.
"I'm leaving the Division and joining the FBI," she said. "I already got an interview for tomorrow." She paused for a second. "In Washington."
"Washington?" I said, my head spinning now. "You're going to leave, just like that?"
Her face softened slightly when she saw the crushing disappointment in my own face. "I need to get away. Surely you of all people can understand that?"
I did. At one time in my life, I needed to get away as well, and I let nothing stop me from doing that. "I get it," I said quietly.
"Look," she said taking a step towards me, but not touching me. "Give me some time to get settled, then we'll see."