1977 - My Laugh Comes Last

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1977 - My Laugh Comes Last Page 11

by James Hadley Chase


  I drew in a long, deep breath.

  All my nights of thinking had paid off!

  'So you'll get her out, Joe, and take her to the Sherwood Hotel?'

  ‘Yeah. That's what I'll do. Then I'll bring your car back and get me out of Sharnville pronto.'

  I studied his black, sweating face. I felt I could trust him.

  ‘Don't worry about Benny. I'll get him in the room with Klaus. Give me exactly ten minutes from the time I enter the house. Have you a watch?'

  'Sure, Mr. Lucas.'

  'I'll make sure the front door is unlocked. Give me ten minutes, then get Miss Glenda out. Understand?'

  'Sure . . . ten minutes, and I get her out.'

  ‘Right.' I looked at my watch. I had twenty minutes now to get to Klaus's place by 21.00. I called for the cheque, paid, then picking up my briefcase, I went out to my car, closely followed by Joe. We got in the car, and I headed out of town.

  Joe said, 'When do I get the money, Mr. Lucas?'

  'I'll explain that.'

  We said nothing until we reached the dirt road leading to Klaus's place. Half-way up the dirt road, I stopped the car.

  'Now about the money.' I took the bills from my pocket, folded them in half, then carefully tore them apart.

  'Hey, Mr. Lucas! What's that you are doing?' Joe's voice shot up.

  I handed him the torn half of the five bills and put the other half in my pocket.

  'The moment I know Miss Glenda is at the Sherwood Hotel Joe, I will deliver the other half to you . . . no problem. I just want to make sure you don't chicken out. Okay?'

  ‘You'll bring them to my pad?'

  'That's it. When I'm through with your boss, I'll drive to the Sherwood Hotel, see Miss Glenda, then come on to you, You stick the bills together and get lost.'

  He nodded.

  'Okay, Mr. Lucas.'

  We got out of the car and walked up the road. It was now dark. I could see the lights were on in the house.

  ‘Well, see you at your pad, Joe,' I said. 'I'll take care of Benny. You have nothing to worry about. You get Miss Glenda to the Sherwood Hotel.' I caught hold of his damp hand and shook it. 'Give me ten minutes from now.'

  'Sure, Mr. Lucas.'

  I walked quickly up to the gate, pushed it open and walked to the front door. My heart was hammering and my mouth was dry. As I rang on the doorbell, my hand pulled out the gun Joe had given me.

  Benny opened the door.

  'Come on in, fink,' he said.

  As I stepped into the lighted lobby, I lifted the gun and shoved it hard against his fat belly.

  'Don't take chances, Benny,' I said quietly. 'I'm longing to put a bullet in your guts. Take me to Klaus.'

  Benny stared down at the gun, his brutal face expressionless. Then moving carefully, he walked ahead of me and into the living-room.

  Klaus was sitting at his desk. His ice-grey eyes regarded me as I closed the door.

  'The fink's got a gun,' Benny said.

  Klaus's expression didn't change.

  'Get over there, against the far wall,' I said to Benny, 'and stay there.'

  Benny grinned.

  'Anything you say, fink,' and he crossed the room so he was behind Klaus, and he rested his heavy shoulders against the wall.

  Klaus said, 'A gun, Mr. Lucas? So you have decided to be tricky. That is regrettable. Now, you are going to tell me the operation is off.'

  'Correct.' I put the briefcase and the tape player on his desk. Using my left hand, still pointing the gun between Klaus and Benny, I opened the briefcase, took out my statement to Brannigan and slid it across the desk. 'Read that.'

  Klaus picked up the statement and read it. Then he looked up.

  'A masterpiece of brevity, Mr. Lucas.'

  I had expected a violent reaction, and this relaxed remark made me uneasy.

  'The bonds you sent me are forgeries,' I said. 'Here are two tapes I want you to listen to. They will convince you the breakin is off.'

  I put the tape on the player and turned the player on. For two or three minutes, Klaus listened to his own voice. When my voice said, ‘Did you have to murder Sheriff Thomson?’ and his replied, ‘Let that be an example to you. When anyone obstructs me or is likely to obstruct me, I get rid of him,’ he leaned forward and pressed the stop button.

  'I'll take the rest as read,' he said, and sat back.

  'Copies of the statement and the tapes are with the police,' I said, and glanced at my watch. I had been in the room for fifteen minutes. By now, Glenda would be driving with Joe to the Sherwood Hotel. 'I have arranged for the statement and the tapes to be delivered by the police to Brannigan on Monday morning. If anything happens to me, Brannigan will have enough to nail you, Klaus. That's why I am telling you the bank breakin is off.'

  'Why should anything happen to you, Mr. Lucas?' Klaus lifted his eyebrows. 'If anything is going to happen, then it will happen to your woman. You are far too important to me to harm.'

  'By now, Klaus, Glenda is out of your reach.'

  He gave a little chuckle that sent a chill up my spine.

  'First, let me congratulate you, Mr. Lucas. You made an excellent try.' He waved to the statement and the tape player.

  'All very efficient, and well thought out, but unhappily for you, you are an amateur dealing with a professional. At three o'clock on Saturday morning, you will supervise the bank breakin. Make no mistake about that!'

  I stared at him, feeling a gradual and deadly loss of confidence.

  ‘You are wrong. You now know the situation. Your sick idea isn't going to work. Take my advice: get out of Sharnville before Brannigan puts you in jail.'

  'So you imagine Glenda is out of my reach?' He shook his head. 'She is locked in her room. I think you are romancing, Mr. Lucas.’

  It was twenty-five minutes since I had been in the house.

  By now, Glenda would be safe in the Sherwood Hotel.

  Then I heard a sound that froze me: the mournful spiritual, played on a harmonica.

  'There's Joe,' Klaus said, and chuckled. 'Mr. Lucas, don't wave that gun about. You don't imagine I would let Joe give you a loaded gun? You see, the trouble with an amateur is that he doesn't check like a professional does. The amateur is given a gun, and he jumps to the wrong conclusion that it is loaded. Shoot at me to convince yourself.'

  Grinning evilly, Benny started across the room towards me. I lifted the gun, but I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. I knew that I had been outwitted.

  'I owe you this, fink,' Benny snarled, and his enormous fist smashed against the side of my face. A bright light exploded inside my head as I crashed to the floor. For some moments, I swam in darkness, then very faintly I heard Klaus say, ‘You shouldn't have done that, Benny. There's no need for violence.'

  Then I became aware of hands digging into my jacket pocket. I made a feeble effort to push the hands away as I struggled back to consciousness. There was a long pause. My head began to clear, and my face began to ache. I rolled over, then dragged myself to my knees. The room swam into focus. I saw Joe standing by the desk.

  I heard him say, 'The sucker gave me five grand, boss. He tore the bills in half. I've got the other half now. Can I keep the money?'

  'Of course, Joe. I would say you earned it.'

  I heard Joe giggle. The sound told me that all my work on him had been wasted. Glenda was still a prisoner!

  Slowly, I got to my feet, and moved to a chair and sat down.

  'Give Mr. Lucas a drink,' Klaus said. 'He looks as if he could do with it.'

  A glass of whisky was thrust into my hand.

  'I apologize, Mr. Lucas,' Klaus said. 'Benny gets carried away.'

  I turned and threw the whisky in Benny's sneering face. He yelled, his hands going to his eyes and he staggered back.

  Then wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he started towards me, his brutal face a mask of snarling rage.

  'Benny.' Klaus didn't raise his voice. 'Go and see Glenda.'
/>   Benny paused in his rush, stopped, looked at me, then grinned.

  'Yeah.'

  He started to the door.

  I forced myself to my feet and staggered after him. My head was raging with pain and the floor seemed tilted. Joe moved swiftly, caught hold of my arm, swung me around and slapped me hard across my mouth, then he flung me back into the chair.

  Dazed, I again tried to stand up. Again Joe slammed me back. Then I heard a long, piercing scream somewhere at the back of the house: a woman's scream, and I knew it was Glenda.

  ‘You'd better stop him, Joe,' Klaus said mildly. 'He doesn't know his own strength.'

  Grinning, Joe slipped out of the room, 'It's all right, Mr. Lucas,' Klaus said. 'She won't be hurt again unless, of course, you don't cooperate.'

  I remembered what Glenda had said about her husband: all his guts, and he had lots of guts, drained out of him. They took Alex's guts from him like a surgeon takes out an appendix.

  Hearing that piercing scream took all the guts I had ever had from me.

  'I'll cooperate,' I said in a harsh whisper.

  Joe and Benny came into the room. Benny was grinning, Joe was sweating and shaking his head.

  'Well now, Mr. Lucas,' Klaus said. 'Tomorrow morning you will get this statement of yours and the tapes back from the police. Is that understood?'

  I nodded,

  'Good. You will bring them here. Is that understood?'

  Again I nodded.

  He leaned forward, his face a snarling mask, his eyes blazing.

  'If you try any further trickery, your woman will be tortured to death! I know all about your futile attempts to undermine Harry and Joe. There are three million dollars in that vault, and they want them! From now on you cooperate! Understand?'

  ‘Yes.'

  'Then tomorrow morning here!' He slammed his fist on the desk and screamed at me in a mad, high-pitched voice, 'No one, least of all you, will stop me breaking into that bank! Now get out!'

  Joe came over to me and caught hold of my arm.

  'Come on, man,' he said giggling. 'Didn't I take you for a ride!'

  Joe burst out laughing, slapping his great black hands on his thighs.

  'Man! You sure do flap with your mouth.'

  I walked out of the house to where my car was parked. As I got under the steering wheel, I remembered what Glenda had said: He's a devil.

  I felt utterly defeated and crushed. The trap had been sprung, and there was no way out. I heard again Glenda's scream, and I shivered. I was not only dealing with a devil, but also a madman.

  I drove back to Sharnville in despair.

  At 08.30, I walked into the police station house.

  This day was Friday: a hot, sticky morning with high humidity, but with clear sky and a bright sun.

  I had spent a bad night, tossing and turning, with Glenda constantly on my mind. My face, where Benny had hit me, had been bruised, but Jebson's ointment had cleared the bruise during the night. I shrank from facing Klaus again,-but I had to get the parcel from Maclain and deliver it.

  Deputy sheriff Tim Bentley sat at his desk. He was a good cop, but young. He would have made a much better sheriff than Maclain. He was tall, rangy with fiery red hair and freckles. He grinned at me as I came in.

  'Hi, Mr. Lucas. Anything I can do?'

  'Maclain in yet, Tim?'

  'He had to go to L.A. last night, Mr. Lucas. I don't expect him back until Monday.'

  I stiffened.

  'I gave him a parcel on Wednesday evening to be delivered to Mr. Brannigan,' I said. 'He put it in the safe.'

  Bentley nodded.

  'Sure. I know about that. The Sheriff took it with him.'

  I had sudden difficulty in breathing, and my sticky sweat turned cold.

  'I've got to get that parcel back!' My voice was harsh, and seeing Bentley's startled expression, I fought to control my rising panic. ‘The arrangement was, Tim, that Maclain should deliver the parcel on Monday, and not before.'

  'Sure, Mr. Lucas. He knows that, but as he had urgent business in L.A. last night, and planned to stay over the weekend, he took the parcel with him. It's okay. He'll deliver it on Monday.'

  'The parcel, Tim, contains plans for a new bank. I've just found that a lot of the costing is wrong. I've got to get it back right now!'

  'I'll call L.A. and find out where Maclain is.'

  I kept thinking of Klaus's vicious, snarling face. If I didn't deliver the parcel to him by this morning, he would take it out on Glenda.

  After talking, Bentley put down the telephone receiver.

  'Captain Perrell saw Maclain last night, Mr. Lucas, and concluded the business. He doesn't know where Maclain is right now.' Bentley shrugged. 'He could be returning here or having himself a weekend ball. You know what he's like.' He shrugged. 'He did tell me not to expect him back until Monday evening.'

  I really flipped my lid. Crashing my fist down on the desk, I shouted, 'I've got to get that parcel back! I was out of my mind to have entrusted it to that drunken sot! You've got to help me, Tim!'

  He regarded me with startled eyes.

  'Hey, Mr. Lucas! Take it easy. I . . .’

  "Do you mean you can't find him! What the hell are the police for? You've got to find him! If I let Brannigan see those figures, my firm will lose a contract! It's as important as that, and goddamn it, I'll hold Maclain and you responsible!'

  'Well, if it's that important.” He hesitated, then picked up the telephone receiver. He called L.A. again, and said it was urgent for them to find Maclain. He hung up.

  'They'll find him, Mr. Lucas, but it could take time. Suppose I call you at your office.'

  'How long will it be?'

  ‘Depends if Maclain is sober or not. I guess a couple of hours.'

  'And if he's drunk?'

  He shrugged.

  ‘Your guess is as good as mine.'

  'Call L.A. again. Tell them what I've told you. I’ll drive out there right away. Let me use your phone.'

  'Go ahead, Mr. Lucas.'

  I called my office, and told Mary I had to go to Los Angeles, but I would be back some time this afternoon.

  'But, Mr. Lucas, you have three appointments.'

  'Cancel them,' I said, and hung up.

  'I'm on my way, Tim. Thanks for what you're doing.'

  By now it was 09.00. It would take me around two hours of fast driving to reach Los Angeles. There could be a delay getting the parcel.

  I walked fast to the post office, then realized I hadn’t Klaus's telephone number. I looked him up in the book, but he was unlisted. Sweat was pouring off me. I dialled Directory Enquiries. I got a helpful operator.

  'This is an emergency,' I said. 'I must contact Mr. Edwin Klaus. He lives at The Farmhouse, Shannon Road. Please connect me.'

  'Hold a moment, sir.' There was a delay, then she came back to me. 'I'm sorry, sir, this is an unlisted number.'

  'I know that. His son has been badly injured in a car accident. I've got to alert his father. This is Doctor Lewis talking.'

  A long hesitation.

  'Okay, doctor, I'll connect you.'

  I wiped the sweat off my face as I waited, then Benny's harsh voice came over the line.

  'What is it?'

  'Give me Klaus,' I half shouted. 'This is Lucas.'

  'What makes you think he wants to talk to you, fink? Get stuffed!'

  'Get him, you ape!' I yelled.

  There was a pause, then I heard talking, then Klaus came on the line.

  "Yes, Mr. Lucas?'

  'The police have taken the parcel to Los Angeles. I'm going there right now, but I can't get back to you before four o'clock.'

  'At exactly four o'clock, Mr. Lucas, unless you have arrived, Benny will be allowed free access to your woman,' and he hung up.

  It wasn't until just after 11.00 that I reached the Los Angeles station house.

  Captain Perrell, a short, heavily built man, knew I played golf with Brannigan, so I got the V.I.P. treatm
ent.

  'I've got your problem solved for you, Mr. Lucas,' he said.

  'Although we haven't found Maclain, we found his deputy who is already on his way back to Sharnville. He tells me Maclain is spending the weekend with some woman, but Maclain told him to deliver this parcel you're worried about to the bank. He did this at 09.30 this morning and got a receipt.' He handed me a slip of paper.

  With my heart thumping, I looked at the paper.

  Received one parcel from Mr. Lucas, Sharnville, for Mr. Fanell Brannigan.

  Lois Shelton. Secretary to Mr. Brannigan.

  I knew Lois Shelton well.

  'Thanks, Captain, I'll get over to the bank.'

  As I returned to my car, I asked myself if Brannigan had already opened the parcel and had read my statement.

  Entering the bank, I asked to speak to Miss Shelton. The receptionist smiled at me.

  'Go ahead, Mr. Lucas. I guess, by now, you know your way.’ I took the elevator to the top floor and walked into Lois Shelton's office.

  She was tall, dark, slim and nice looking without being pretty.

  'Why, Larry, what brings you here?' she asked, pushing back her desk chair.

  ‘You signed for a parcel for F.B.,' I said. 'Has he got it?'

  Sweat was running down my face, and my voice was a croak.

  'Is anything wrong?' She looked alarmed as she got to her feet.

  'Has he got it?'

  'It's on his desk right now. He's away for the weekend. Is it something important?'

  I sucked in a deep breath.

  'He's away?'

  ‘Yes . . . he left last night. He said he was taking a golfing weekend.'

  'I've just found out my calculator is on the blink. The figures in that parcel are all haywire. If F.B. sees them, he'll throw the book at me.'

  She laughed.

  "Don't look so worried. It happens. I'll get it for you.'

  While I was waiting, an idea jumped into my mind. I had already made a copy of my statement and the tapes which Klaus now held. Why not make a third copy? I looked at my watch. It was just after 12.00. If I worked fast, I could still return to Sharnville by 16.00.

  Lois came in with the parcel.

 

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