by Dale Mayer
“No,” she said. “I was just thinking how much I prefer deep, dark, and broody to shallow and superficial.”
His eyebrows shot up and he stared at her, his head tilted slightly to the side. He was confused. Good. It would serve him right. He’d kept her off balance more than she cared to admit. Before he could formulate the question that was working through his psyche, she stepped into his arms.
She reached up and tugged his head down and kissed him.
As his arms closed around her, more comforting than lover-like, and his lips were warm but not hot, she quirked her own lips slightly. He was still giving her a chance to back away.
She pulled back slightly and dropped her robe to the floor. Now she stood in her wet bathing suit. She stepped back one more step, deeper into the shadows. She slipped the straps off her shoulders and lowered the clinging material to her waist. She watched him as he watched her.
There was no way he could see the details, but she knew what the shadows would highlight.
When he gasped slightly, a flush rising slightly across his cheeks, she grinned inside. Good. In a hard tug, she had the bathing suit pooling on the floor. She gave the material a kick and sent it flying across the room and stood before him. Nude. Scarred. Ready.
“Second thoughts?” she asked, repeating his earlier words, motioning to his modest attire. “And just so it’s a non-issue. I’m on the pill to regulate my cycle.” She wrinkled up her nose at him. “The drugs from the surgeries messed things up big time.”
He galvanized into action so fast she laughed. But her laughter was choked off a few seconds later as she was picked up, swung into a wide circle, then tossed on the big bed.
And he came down on top of her.
“You are amazing,” Sean said, before he covered her mouth with his.
As long as he thought so, she’d let him live the dream a little longer. Even join him in it for a little while. At least as long as she was in his arms.
Then she couldn’t think as his kisses turned her insides to mush. Still damp from their wet bathing suits, their bodies steamed as legs tangled with legs and hands caressed and stroked what each could reach as they both gave and took in equal measures.
She realized dimly, somewhere in the back of her mind, that he was good at this. Like he was seriously good at this. He was so caring, attentive, appreciative. He made her feel special. How sexy was that?
She realized, as his lips teased a hot blazing trail of kisses downward to one breast, a breast with some scar tissue marring the perfect flesh, that she was the richer one in this situation. She’d loved and had been loved. She knew what it was like to wake up beside someone you cared about in the morning. To feel blessed they were in your life.
She could show him some of that.
Except he was frying her circuits, making it so she couldn’t think. He took her nipple deep into his mouth and suckled. She reared up, gasping with joy and frustration. God, she wanted him. Like now. Like hot and ready and inside her now.
“Sean,” she cried out, twisting beneath him.
“Easy, sweetheart, take it easy.”
“No,” she cried out, her hands tugging on him. “Not easy. Now.”
When he refused to slide up higher, she shifted downward and rolled him over. He laughed and flipped onto his back, tugging her over and with him.
“Patience,” he murmured, pulling her down to his mouth and kissing her with one of his heavy, drugging kisses that she craved.
“No patience,” she gasped against his lips when she could. “Next time. We’ll take it slow and easy then.”
She planted a knee on either side of his hips, slipped down his body until she felt him, rigid, hard, hot at her center. She sat up and lowered herself slowly, oh so slowly, until he was seated deep inside. Watching his eyes cloud with passion was a turn on like no other.
Sean groaned, his eyes slowly closing, his fingers clenching her hips, holding her in place as he ground his pelvis upwards.
She shuddered, already so close to the edge.
“Jesus, you’ll be the death of me,” he whispered in a husky voice.
“Not yet, but soon,” she murmured, her eyes closed. She started to ride. Initially she set a slow languid pace, reveling in the sense of fullness, the perfect fit of the two of them, the hard leanness of his body, but Sean urged her on, faster and faster. She leaned forward to brace her hands on his chest, holding her rhythm. Sean held her hips back from going too high.
She cried out, “Sean…”
“I’m here,” he whispered. ‘“Faster…
“I can’t…” She tried to go faster, but her urgency and drive sent her rhythm off. Frustrated, he did a quick flip, startling a cry out of her, as their positions reversed. He lifted her leg over his arm and plunged deep.
She shrieked, her back arching as tiny explosions started deep inside. Then she came apart.
With a heavy guttural groan, he followed her.
*
Sean rolled to the side, completely wiped. He groaned lightly and tugged her into his arms. “I’m wasted. You completely wore me out.”
She sniggered, the cheeky sound bringing a smile to his face.
“If you’re worn out that easily, you’ll be comatose by morning.”
He shouted with laughter and kissed her again. She responded with all the enthusiasm as she had the first time. God, he loved that about her. The honesty of her reaction. The responsiveness of her passion. The clarity of her need. He needed that.
He needed her.
He was starting to think he’d need her forever.
Shuddering with the emotions swamping him, he pulled back to stare down at her. And realized he’d not taken the time to look at her. To really look at her. The room was dark. And he wanted to see her in the light.
The shadows earlier had hid her beauty.
He reached for the lamp switch.
“Don’t.” Her voice was harsh, clear. She cleared her throat. “Please.”
He let his arm drop, not sure what to say yet hating that she didn’t want him to see her like this. And not sure what to do about it.
He tugged her into his arms, his cheek against hers, and just held her.
After a long moment, he pulled back slightly and looked her straight in the eyes. He watched her gaze widen with worry. He smiled reassuringly. “It’s all right. If you don’t want a light, that’s okay.”
She searched his gaze and he let her see the acceptance in his eyes. The acceptance in his heart. He understood. More than most.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” He dropped a kiss on her nose. Then her cheeks. He pushed her hair back so he could look at the scarred side of her face closer. He hadn’t done that yet. Hadn’t had a chance to. He hadn’t wanted to push. Now it wasn’t pushing. It was time for rejoicing. Well, maybe not. She wasn’t there yet. But he could help her take one more step toward it.
He kissed the spot where the tight skin pulled the corner of her mouth up and back. Bright pink skin, no longer angry, but quite normal looking – if it would ever become normal. It may not. He was fine with that. She was beautiful to him. Beautiful inside and out.
Somehow he had to make her see that. He grasped her face and held it firmly so she couldn’t pull away while he kissed every inch of the shiny skin. Worshipped the misshapen skin and the rough edges where the scars joined the smooth healthy skin. She wouldn’t need much more to make this all perfect looking, but he did understand how imperfect something in progress looked. He had been there. Was still there.
Yet his scars didn’t appear to bother her.
So he needed to make sure she knew that her scars didn’t bother him.
He followed the line of her neck down to her shoulder blades where there were more scars. More spots where her skin was marred from its creamy perfection. But not taking away from it. In fact, as he pulled back to stare at the pink skin, it added to it. She was beautiful.
And she misunderstood his actions. She slapped her hand across her shoulder, hiding. “Don’t look,” she whispered. “Turn away.”
“Never,” he whispered and showed her how much he cared about her. How much he adored her. How much he worshipped her. Her perfect body. How all the spots she hated only added to her beauty. To her uniqueness. She was stunning in her passion.
They had hours ahead of them. He planned to make sure she knew that by morning. That she knew he adored her. Every inch of her.
He smiled as he looked down at her and whispered under his breath, “But I’m up for the job.”
She looked up at him, a puzzled frown on her face. “What did you say?”
“How about I show you instead…”
And he lowered his head.
Chapter 23
Morning broke slow and hazy for Robin. Within minutes, she realized something else. She wasn’t alone.
Memories flooded in. Last night. Sean – all night. Oh God.
What a night. Considering she’d gotten no sleep, she had no right to feel as rested as she did. She felt energized. Invigorated. As if she had a whole new day in front of her. She reached up and rubbed her face with both hands.
And stilled. Her hand gently stroked the scars on her face. Maybe not a new day. Still, it was a different day. Different from yesterday at least. That she’d take.
She looked over to see Sean stretched out dead to the world in the center of the bed. Her back was tucked up against him. She smiled. She might feel on top of the world, but he looked dead to the world. She wanted to giggle and shout for joy but held back. He needed what little rest he could find. She’d just slip out and grab a shower. Then wake him up.
It was early yet. They had a little time before going down for breakfast. Thank heavens, she thought as she stared into the bathroom mirror. She was going to need every bit of that time to make herself presentable.
She stepped into the shower and let the hot water sluice down over her body. She wanted to keep his scent on her, but they’d made love so many times, she was afraid that it would be obvious to anyone who walked past her. This night had been special. Important. And she didn’t want to share it with anyone.
She wanted to keep it between just her and him.
They hadn’t spoken of love. Of tomorrow. Of togetherness. In fact, they’d barely spoken at all.
The water splashed into her face and she laughed, loving it. The spray both stung and soothed at the same time. She stood, face forward, grinning like a madman.
And realized time was running down the drain along with the water while she’d been standing there like a fool. She finished, then turned off the water and toweled dry.
She brushed her hair into her normal style, covering her face. She stared her face for a long moment, wondering if it was time to change but realized that she wasn’t ready for that much change.
Gathering up her towel, she walked back into the bedroom and quietly got dressed. When she was done, she sat down on the side of the bed, stared at the masculine feast in front of her with regret, and woke him. “Sean?”
His eyes flew open and he stared at her. And heat kindled deep inside. “Good morning,” he said in a gruff voice. He tugged her down to sprawl across his chest and gave her a deep morning-after kiss.
She was flustered by the time she managed to pull back. “It’s late. We don’t have time for any more of that.”
“Ha.” He gave her a lazy grin. “We could miss the workshop. Spend the day in bed.”
“Oh boy,” she muttered half under her breath, unbearably torn. Memories of the night swamped her body with remembered heat. She wanted that again. And again.
“As tempting as that is, I do need to complete the workshop.” She smiled regretfully down into those languid eyes and sighed. “I really want to stay here but…”
“But you want to go the workshop more.” He tugged her back down, kissed her hard, and then set her back in place. “Right then. I need to shower and find some clothes.” He looked around, gathered up his clothes, and snatched up her robe, a question in his eyes. When she nodded, he put it on and slipped out of her hotel room. She followed him to the doorway and watched as he slipped inside his room. The door closed quietly behind him.
He hadn’t said a word about how long he’d be, so she wasn’t sure what she should do. Wait for him? Go into his room and wait for him? Or head down to the restaurant and wait for him there?
She should have asked. Oh well, it was too late now, he was likely already in the shower and wouldn’t hear her knock. She headed back inside and packed up her notes for the morning session and cleaned up her bathing suit still sitting on the floor. She hung it up, a silly grin on her face. Would she ever see it again and not smile from the memory?
After hooking her housekeeping tag on her door, she walked down to the elevators and clicked the button. She’d wait for him down at the restaurant. As the elevator doors opened, she walked out into a small crowd. It was a popular hotel. There looked to be a large group checking out, even though it was still early. She slipped around them and came face to face with Jenna.
Jenna’s face beamed. “Hi Robin, you’re looking particularly bright today.”
Robin managed a sheepish grin in spite of the heat washing up her neck. “Thank you. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for you.”
“I’m glad to hear that. If your sleep is improving, that means you are healing on some level.”
That made sense. She was healing. She could thank Sean for that.
Not wanting to share the details of the healing process with Jenna, Robin walked past with a murmur, “I need to get some breakfast.”
Jenna nodded, a pleased smile on her face. “You don’t have much time, but you can grab something to go.”
Lord, she hoped they weren’t that late. She checked the clock on the restaurant wall as she entered. Ugh. It was after 8:30. She really didn’t have much time. And Sean had even less. She took a seat up at the front and ordered toast to eat now and several muffins to go. She gulped down a cup of coffee drenched in cream and ordered two more to go. After scoffing down her toast and wondering at her appetite, she gathered up her purchases and carried them over to the seminar room. It was already full. Tania was sitting in some kind of cold truce with Kane. The workshop was half over – at least she thought it was, she’d lost track of time. Was it Wednesday or Thursday today?
After a quick glance around, she realized Sean still wasn’t there. She took a seat where there were two empty spots and sat down. She immediately went to work on the first muffin. Lord, she was still hungry. If Sean didn’t get here soon, she was going to eat his two as well.
Just then, the chair beside her was pulled out and Sean sat down.
He reached for a coffee, assessed the muffin situation, and grabbed up two for himself.
She kept her head down in case her smirk alerted the others to the change in their relationship. She didn’t care. Her body glowed and her heart sang. She had no illusions that this was a relationship. By his own admittance, he didn’t know what one was. But she was grateful for what they did have. She hadn’t felt this alive in months.
Quite possibly years.
*
After a late arrival for the seminar and a crazy busy morning working on Jenna’s assignments, before Sean realized it, they were breaking for lunch. He rose from his chair when Jenna called them over.
“Sorry you two, but this afternoon at the hospital is out,” Jenna said. “You’ll need to work on your project here at the hotel. It’s possible you might be able to go later this evening, otherwise it will have to be tomorrow morning. I’m hoping that after two days there you have enough to get some serious effort done on the project just in case your time is shortened even more.”
She turned to walk away when Sean stopped her. “Why? What’s going on?”
“One of the kids has taken a turn for the worst. The other kids are having a tough day.”
>
“Maybe we should go today especially for that reason,” Sean said. He was afraid he knew which boy had taken a bad turn. Figured that Robin, from the frozen look on her face, had jumped to the same conclusion, too. She shuddered. A visible shake of her shoulders that must have gone straight to her toes. Shit. She didn’t need this. Hell, neither did he. He’d had high hopes for more private time. At Jenna’s initial words, he’d wanted to shout for joy. Now he knew that a private afternoon in bed with Robin wasn’t going to be.
“No. The department head has requested that not happen. The children want their privacy while they deal with their emotions.” She studied Robin’s features even as Sean studied Jenna’s.
“It’s Jon, isn’t it?”
Jenna’s face became a polite mask. “Who?”
“A little boy that looked so very much like my brother.”
Jenna’s face became a mask of concern. “I’m sorry if that is the case. He’s still alive though, so we have to hope.”
“I want to go see him.”
“No.” Sean and Jenna both shouted.
Robin squared her shoulders. “Yes. I need to. Don’t you see? I’ve associated him with my brother. I couldn’t help it. There were so many similarities. Now that he’s in trouble, I want to be able to do what I couldn’t do before.”
Jenna walked closer, her hands reaching out to grasp Robin’s. “You don’t know this boy. You aren’t family. You can’t go in and see him.”
Robin’s eyes glistened. Sean felt his heart sink.
“I have to go say goodbye,” Robin whispered. “I have to.”
She broke free of Jenna’s hands and turned, running from the room.
“Damn it.” Sean glared at Jenna. “See what happens when you meddle in other people’s lives?”
She gave him a sad smile. “It’s what I do. Before there can be healing, one must let go of the blockages. In this case, Robin has never fully grieved for her family. She can’t go forward until she finally lets go of the past.”
Sean knew she was right but hated hearing it. He didn’t want Robin to suffer, and she was going to do plenty of that before this day was over.