by Vivian Arend
She clutched him hard, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head on his chest. He rubbed her back in slow, even circles. Under her ear his heart thumped, the consistent pulse reassuring and steady. He didn’t say anything—just let her soak in his warmth, the comfort of his presence.
In the midst of her rocking world, he gave her balance.
She drew a deep breath, unsteady and ragged, and he swore. “You’re killing me. It’s going to be okay. Please, trust me. Nothing bad will happen to you. I’ll make sure everything works out.” He lifted her chin and stared at her with compassion, his pupils huge.
She tried to smile. “It’s getting easier to accept, but I am so going to kick Maggie’s butt the next time I see her.”
He leaned toward her, his intentions clear, and she held her breath. Did she want to kiss him?
“Pam?”
More than wanted to, needed to. She lifted her mouth and he kissed her carefully. With a gentle stroke he brushed away the tears that had filled her eyes as her world was thrown into chaos.
He traced a finger down her cheek. “Maggie has a story, but it’s hers to share, not mine. I will tell you she’s always said you were her best friend in the whole world and she loves you a ton. She never kept secrets to hurt you.”
She nodded. “Any other bombs you need to drop on me? Like is drinking the Yukon water going to make me able to shift or anything?”
Pain flashed across his face.
“No, afraid it doesn’t work that way.” He kissed her forehead. “Unfortunately there is one more thing I need to tell you, and it’s probably going to be another doozy of a revelation. You want it before or after supper?”
He released her and she went to the sink to splash her face with water. More mysteries? Her heart couldn’t take much more.
“Is it really important?”
He nodded. “You should sit down.”
Oh shit. “That bad, eh?”
“I’ll promise to turn into my wolf afterward and you can twist my ear again if it makes you feel better.”
She chuckled. “Goof.”
He sighed mightily. “Hold on to your sense of humour, you might need it.”
She sat and he sank to the floor at her feet. His expression was serious and concerned, so different than what she’d seen in him over the past days.
“Hey, where’s that lighthearted guy who makes me smile gone? You can turn into a wolf. It’s not the end of the world, not unless you give me fleas. I hate having to deal with flea infestations.”
He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles tenderly.
“No fleas…but something a little more permanent. I mentioned we’ve got a kind of government? My big brother, Keil, is the head of the Granite Lake pack.”
“Really? That’s kinda cool. Why is that an issue?”
“Well, it’s not, but he’s the Alpha since he’s the strongest wolf around. There’re these unspoken rules that happen in a pack, based on our wolves. Keil and his wife, Robyn, you remember her? They’re the top of the heap. Well, one of the other things our wolves decide is…”
He shook his head slowly and brought her hand to his ear. “Here. You may as well grab on now.”
How could she stay angry around him? She laughed and leaned forward to give him a kiss, smoothing her fingers through his hair. The sensation distracted her. “That’s what your hair reminded me of.”
“What?”
She stroked again, reveling in the softness. So soothing to the touch. Something about caressing, being close to TJ made her happy inside, lighting all the dark corners. “Your fur. The night you slept with me in your wolf form I fell asleep stroking you. That’s what your hair feels like. So soft.”
He shivered. “God, you keep touching me like that and I’m never going to get this out.”
She stilled her hands. “Just tell me. It’s not like you’re going to shock the daylights out of me.”
“We’re mates.”
She paused. “Sure. We’re best buds. Whatever you say. Now tell me the rest of the news because getting freaked out seems to have made me hungry.”
He shook his head wildly. “No, you don’t understand. Mates, as in the way a wolf takes a mate. You know dogs, you must know a little bit about wolves. We have a lot of the characteristics of wolves, and just like there’s an alpha and an omega wolf, our wolves pick our mate and they pick them for life. You, me. My wolf picked you.”
TJ stared into the fire. It was far too early to be getting up and way too late to still be awake. After his little life-changing revelation, Pam had snatched together the fixings for a sandwich then retreated to the bedroom to “get some space to think”. He’d settled in to wait and see what the verdict would be.
He’d screwed everything up. Everything.
Crap, why had he imagined, even for a moment, that hauling Pam into the bush against her will would make anything easier?
Time alone, right. He poked the logs and watched the sparks fly upward in protest. That’s what he had now, time completely alone. Just him and the couch, which was lumpy and uncomfortable, and he’d sleep on it for the next week without a single complaint if Pam would give them a chance.
He’d sleep on it forever if she asked him to.
The floorboards creaked in the bedroom and he stood in a rush, staring at the door in the hopes she’d come out. The freaky part was he could sense where she was—and what she was feeling—just a little. His brother had explained once how the connection between him and his mate Robyn worked. While this wasn’t as strong as Keil had described, it was vivid enough to give TJ a teeny tiny fraction of hope to cling to.
Maybe there would be more to their mate connection than he’d dreamed possible.
When she’d barricaded herself in the bedroom, she’d been royally pissed at him, and he’d taken it in stride. It was the confusion that followed and the tears shortly after that had him on the verge of ignoring her request and breaking down the door, because he knew he could comfort her.
Needed to comfort her.
Now he stood as still as possible, trying to figure out a way to connect with her. They had made love—it had to count for something. In spite of the damn condom, there had to be a bond to help them make it through this rough beginning.
She wasn’t sleeping, and she wasn’t mad. An even calm greeted him, and now he was the one confused.
Calm? After all he’d thrown at her in the past couple days?
Holy shit, she was the most intriguing person he’d ever met, and right there in that moment all his doubts washed away.
If he had to turn his back on his family to be with her, so be it. He’d move south, find a job. He’d still have to turn wolf every now and then, but he’d find a way to do that wherever she was. He’d court her properly, and eventually she’d accept him, if not as a lover, then as a friend.
It would kill a part of him, but being with her would be worth it.
The door creaked open an inch and their eyes met. He bit his lip. Let her call the shots. Her lashes were still wet from her earlier tears and something tore at his belly. His resolve wavered.
Okay, not comforting his mate? Sucked donkey balls.
“Can we talk?”
TJ nodded so rapidly his vision blurred. Pam opened the door wider. He hauled his gaze off where the oversized T-shirt she wore barely covered the tops of her thighs. This was not the time to get distracted, even though his mate made his knees weak with longing.
“Here’s the deal. I know you’re not lying about being a wolf. I saw it.”
Promising opening.
“I also believe you’re insane, in the nicest possible way.”
Umm, that doesn’t sound as good. Begging commences now… “Tell me what you want me to do that would fix this for you. If you want, I’ll shift to my wolf and run until I find a place with a phone. It will take me a while to organize, but I’m sure I can find a way to get you home early.”
She snorted. “You’re not getting out of this that easy, buster.” Pam stalked to his side and grabbed him by the collar. She eyed him up and down and his fading hope flickered back to life. “You promised me seven days of wilderness adventures, with lots of hot monkey sex thrown in.”
“What are you saying?” He could barely breathe.
“Well, other than you have to offer hot wolfie sex, I’m making you stick to your commitment. But you’ve now got an additional challenge. You say we’re ‘mates’. Fine. You have until the end of the week to prove it.”
Chapter Eight
The past couple of hours had been sheer agony as Pam fought with herself to pick the right thing to do next.
Step one: get abducted by a virtual stranger? Check.
Two: completely forget all rules of safety and have sex with said kidnapper? Check.
Three: have the guy she was developing suspiciously strong feelings for turn into a wild animal in front of her then suggest they were meant to be together for the rest of their lives? Once you put a check in that box, what the hell were you supposed to do for a follow-up performance?
But it was true. She’d seen him change—it was a reality she had to face, no matter how much her mind rebelled at the thought. Shrieking or wailing wouldn’t move this situation forward.
Logic was always the best thing to fall back on. Logic, and an oversized baseball bat.
TJ rocked on his feet, his hands twisting together until he deliberately shoved them into his pockets. “You don’t want me to get us back to Haines?”
She shook her head. “If we go back now that doesn’t answer any more of my questions, does it? I suspect once we reach civilization we’re going to have a few other issues to deal with.”
TJ’s cringe said it all. Yup—that hierarchy he’d mentioned in passing—she bet he was up the creek without a paddle in their books right now.
His big brother was in charge? Thinking back to the way the whole group had worked her at the wedding ceremony, she suspected there were a few well-greased wheels in play. Who knew what weird rules TJ had broken? Someone was undoubtedly on the lookout for them even now.
But this was her life and she would be the one to make the decisions. Not some well-meaning older brother, or even Maggie, although Pam suspected her BFF could answer a few questions.
In spite of the adrenaline rush that had spiked through her for most of the evening and night, or maybe because of it, an enormous yawn overtook her.
TJ spoke quietly. “Let’s call it a night and tomorrow I’ll do my best to show you…well, I’ll show you how this works. But anytime you have questions, you ask. I promise I won’t keep anything from you.”
“Holding your tongue doesn’t seem to be the issue, TJ.”
“Sorry, very true.”
Pam covered her mouth as another yawn hit her. Bed. It was past two and definitely time for some sleep.
She turned and paced into the bedroom. The chill in the air encouraged her to dive under the quilt. She pounded the pillows a few times trying to settle in comfortably when she realized she was alone. She sat up to see TJ staring at her from where he still stood in the living room.
“Aren’t you coming?”
“You want me to sleep with you?” He dragged a hand through his hair. “Okay. I mean, I want to join you, but…”
He walked forward slowly, dropping into a crouch beside the bed. His long fingers carefully stroked back a strand of hair from her forehead and his touch sent a shiver through her.
“Pam. You want me to prove we’re mates, then here’s the first demonstration. I think getting into bed with you right now would be a mistake. You’re still in shock, and while there’s this incredible physical pull between us because we are mates, if anything happens sexually you’re going to regret it.
“Still, I can feel how much you need to be comforted right now, and so here’s the best I can do.”
He kissed her forehead tenderly then walked to the opposite side of the bed. He turned his back and stripped off his shirt, tossing it on a nearby chair.
The pale light from the dying fire leaked in through the open doorway, brushing delicate highlights along the solid ridges of his body. Pam sucked for air. He was simply gorgeous. The way he moved made her hot and bothered, even when he wasn’t turning sexual attention on her.
There was a huge grin on his face as he pivoted and sank to his knees. “The way you’re looking at me is giving me a thrill. I’ll shift back when you need me in the morning.”
Though she watched as carefully as possible, she couldn’t figure out how he did it. One minute he was a human, stooping low to the ground, the next a beautiful wolf leapt onto the bed beside her. He batted her with his head, blowing warm air from his nostrils as he nuzzled her neck.
Something simply amazing—followed by something normal. It was so TJ. “Goof.”
He licked her cheek from jawbone to temple, a long slow drag that made her giggle. As one they settled, her arms wrapped around him, her fingers tangled in his fur to hold him close.
A tight ball of fear she’d been denying slipped out from inside her belly and unraveled.
How had he known? She’d needed to take charge and make this work. And yeah, she had the major hots for him. But this? She stroked his fur and he let loose a rumble, soft and low, in his throat. He radiated calmness, cautiously rolling to avoid bumping her too hard.
Closing her eyes, she was surrounded by a strong sensation of peace. His rhythmic heartbeat felt perfect under her hands as she fell asleep stroking him.
TJ was still in wolf form when they woke, and his enthusiastic good-morning kisses made her laugh until her stomach hurt. Her heart ached a little since that’s how Damon used to greet her—with a wet tongue-lashing that had her scrambling for cover as he chased her around the tangled bed sheets.
Damn it, her new boyfriend reminded her of her dog. This couldn’t be good.
She pushed him back enough she could sit up. He rested his chin on her thigh, big beautiful eyes staring up unblinking. She’d slept like a rock, his warm furry body pressed against her side, comforting and reassuring.
“Good morning, TJ.”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyes sparkling at her. One ear wiggled and she swore he sighed with contentment. Damn, he was cute. “Dibs on the shower, then you can tell me what you’ve got planned for today.”
TJ jumped off the bed and headed out the open door, leaving her alone in the room. She stripped off her sleep shirt and grabbed her things.
Mates. Werewolves. The calm, contented feeling she’d woken to dissipated a little. How come she hadn’t screamed and run away after waking up with a wolf in her bed?
Because it felt right?
The shower wasn’t hot enough to wash away the rest of her unease, no matter how long she stayed in. Still, she’d offered TJ time to prove his point. Not that she had much choice about getting out of the wilderness without his help.
When her fingers and toes grew wrinkled, she abandoned the water to face what the day would hold.
She rubbed a towel over her hair as she joined him at the kitchen table.
The toasted bagels were only slightly burnt. A fully human TJ poured her a cup of coffee and passed her the sugar container, his damp hair sticking up in spikes.
“Where did you shower?”
He pointed out the window. “In the lake.”
Pam shivered. “You’re kidding. The water is freezing.”
“It’s too cold for me in my human form, but my wolf doesn’t mind a bit.”
She took a long pull at her coffee, letting the heat of it wash over her. It may be a handy solution—having two forms like that—but she was grateful it had been him in the lake and not her.
He handed her a note pad. “We’ve all got in the habit of carrying paper around for those times we need to talk with Robyn and our sign language isn’t adequate. While you were showering, I jotted down a few notes to distr
act me.”
“Distract you?”
His gaze rolled down one side of her and up the other, and suddenly the room grew a whole lot warmer. “You were naked in the shower. Imagining you in there…”
Their eyes met and Pam swallowed around the bit of bagel stuck in her throat. Oh lordy, what had she gotten herself into? She stared at him, the dark pools of his eyes enticing her to dive in.
He nudged the notepad and broke the connection. “As per orders, I’ve got adventure activities planned for each day, but I’ve added to them. This list is the things that are normal for wolf mates to experience around each other. I thought we could work our way through some of them—sort of see how things go, and still get in the activities you signed up for originally.”
He leaned forward and took her hand, his expression shifting from flirtatious to contrite. “I want to say one more time I’m really sorry I didn’t ask you straight out if you wanted to get involved with me. I should have done things differently.”
Wow. An unasked-for apology from a guy? Pam sat for a minute not sure what to say. “Okay.”
She glanced at the paper. He’d drawn five circles on the page, overlapping them in the middle like a malformed daisy. Paired words filled each circle.
Mental link
Chemical attraction
Physical connection
Emotional attachment
Complementary interests
Pam hesitated. He was taking this damn seriously. “Chemical attraction? Isn’t that the same thing as physical connection?”
TJ shook his head. “Not at all. One leads to the other, but I can assure you they are very different.” He brushed the back of his knuckles against her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear. “This one might be hard to prove—heck they’re all going to be tough, but this one might be the most wolfish. I’m guessing a bit, since I only know what I’ve been told about wolves’ experiences. You being human…” He shrugged.
“So you don’t know exactly what you’re trying to prove?”