My heart tightened with anxiety. It was the strangest thing, but I felt more nervous now than I had when I proposed. In the space of the two minutes it took her to get out of the car and enter the building, my mind filled with an endless list of doubts.
What if she freaked out?
What if she thought I was moving too fast too soon?
What if she decided she didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with me?
What if, worst of all, she left me?
Everyone left at some point, right?
Was there even such a thing as forever anymore?
And if not, could I handle the heartache of her walking away one day?
The urge to take it all back, proposal included, and protect myself was almost too strong to ignore. My feet shifted and I locked my knees to keep myself in place. I wasn’t a runner. I never had been. Not even the most dangerous motherfuckers on the mean streets of New York could scare me. Surely, I wasn’t going to run away from love.
“Sebastian?”
Her voice drifted through the gutted building in her search for me. Escape was no longer an option, and all I could do was stand there and hold my breath.
“Sebastian?” she called again, louder this time.
Her voice echoed throughout the empty space, bouncing off the exposed brick walls and landing straight into the pit of my stomach.
Lifting the sheet of plastic that separated her from me, the candlelight illuminated the darkness around her and she finally appeared in front of me. The look of confusion on her face reminded me to breathe, and when she smiled, I felt all my worries fade away.
“There you are.”
She stole my breath away.
From her sexy black dress, which draped her body in just the right way, to her long red hair hanging freely down her back, she shocked me with her beauty every time I saw her. It wasn’t often that she left her hair down. She’d kept it up a lot over the last few weeks, working on homework or dealing with her internship at the Department of Social Services, but she knew how much I loved to see it down. It satisfied me beyond belief.
The urge to pull her to me and run my fingers through her wavy lengths was strong, but I held myself in check.
How could I have even for a minute doubted myself when it came to Rosslyn?
“You look …” I tried to find the right words to describe the way she made me feel at that moment.
Her skin flushed and her shy smile glowed beneath the candlelight. “Thank you. So do I get a kiss, Mr. Black?”
I took my time as I walked up to her even though my body demanded that I run. Her eyes dilated and her breathing became uneven. Years later and her responses to me were still thrilling. She made me feel even more powerful than I was, and her awestruck expressions were a major boost to my enlarged ego.
Stopping in front of her, I found the back of her neck, and the warmth of her flushed skin heated the palm of my hand. I pulled her closer with my other hand low on her back until we were touching all over. Her body was a perfect fit to mine even though she was much shorter. She was made for me.
Her mossy green eyes were cautious as she took in the moment and her surroundings. It felt like ages since I’d had the pleasure of getting lost in their emerald depths. Her lips parted as she waited for me to follow through. I dipped my head, and the instant our lips touched, I was gone.
It had been far too long since I’d kissed Rosslyn the right way—without sex as an option. Just a kiss. I was making up for that as I tasted her essence and breathed her in. My tongue slipped between the smoothness of her lips and my senses exploded with her flavor and the lingering hint of mint. She became a part of me for the next few minutes as I devoured her as if she were my final meal.
When I pulled away, her fingers tangled in my jacket to hold me. She didn’t want to let me go, but we had much to discuss. Taking her by the hand, I led her to the candlelit dinner that awaited us.
Dinner was laid out as planned, and I pulled out her chair for her to sit. Her eyes moved around the room, and I knew she was dying to know where we were. The place was a mess—the early stages of construction—with plastic where walls should be and the scent of the sawdust from the floor swirling in the air around us.
Once I took my seat in front of her, I filled her glass with wine and waited for the questions to start. Rosslyn didn’t disappoint. My sweet beauty was much too curious to sit for too long with so many questions churning in her gorgeous mind.
“Sebastian?”
I smiled as I readied myself to explain. “Yes?”
“What is this place?”
“It’s a building under construction.” I stated the obvious.
She shook her head and laughed over her glass.
“Yes, I can see that, but why are we having dinner here?”
“Because it’s yours. I bought it for you.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth popped open. “You bought me a building?”
“No, I bought you a business. What you see now will soon be one of New York’s hottest restaurants.”
She blinked in shock and panic flittered across her expression. “But I don’t know anything about running a business. That’s your thing. If you leave this to me, I’ll end up running it straight into the ground.”
In spite of myself, I laughed.
“Of course, you won’t be running it all by yourself. You only have to deal with it as much as you want, but just know that it’s all yours. Or ours.”
I stood from my seat and went around to her side of the table. Leaning over, I looked her in the eye.
“I want to build a future with you, Rosslyn. I want something that’s ours—something we can build together. I know it doesn’t make any sense to you, but it does to me. Business has always been the thing I’m great at. I can only hope that I’ll be just as great at being your husband. If we combine the two—my being a businessman and your husband—you’re getting everything from me. You’re getting all that I am. I’m yours completely.”
Her eyes watered, and I worried that I’d gone too far—that I’d pushed too hard—but once one of the tears escaped and rushed down her cheek, a radiant smile pulled at her lips.
“So does this mean you’re not going to get cold feet and leave me standing at the altar on our wedding day?”
Relief rushed through me and I laughed. Her delight shouldn’t have surprised me, but Rosslyn had a way of taking away all my worry and leaving happiness in its place.
Her lips were soft and I tasted a few of her happy tears when I kissed her.
“Never. I’d never give up the chance to spend the rest of my life with you.”
SEBASTIAN NEVER CEASED TO AMAZE me. It didn’t matter what everyone else thought about him. It didn’t matter if everyone else thought he was about as snuggly as a cactus. All that mattered was I knew differently.
Sebastian was romantic—he was emotional and loving. Sure, on the outside, he was as hard as steel, but he had to be in his type of business. Behind closed doors, he was all softness, and I thrived on that. I basked in his glowing attention and I loved every second of it.
He bought a building for me.
For us.
And he wanted to start a new restaurant.
He’d listened to my dreams and made them come true. Sure, criminal justice was my passion, but cooking was my mother’s. One that we’d shared a lot when she was alive. In some of my favorite memories with her we were covered in flour, baking some new recipe with smiles on our faces. It was something we shared—mother and daughter—and now, because of Sebastian, a dream that my mother never got to fulfill was coming to fruition.
I loved the idea. I wasn’t much of a club girl, although Sebastian had taught me the ins and outs of his business over the years. But a restaurant was something I could really sink my teeth into. Even now, with only the exposed brick walls and mess that surrounded us, I could close my eyes and see its possibilities.
; On top of everything else, Sebastian was right.
I knew him.
I knew how he felt about business and commitments, so I understood his way of thinking. His buying a business for us to start together was a massive deal. Marriage was special. It bonded us together in all the ways I wanted to connect to him, but in his mind, running a business together was his way of binding himself to me.
It was beautiful, and I was sure no one else would understand it, but that wasn’t important. All that mattered was I understood it, and it only made me love him more.
“I love you, Sebastian.”
The words came so easily now, and it felt good to express my feelings for him so openly.
In the beginning, even though I knew he loved me, I always felt like declarations of love would push him away. Now, I could speak freely without fear of losing him. Because when Sebastian looked at me, I knew—I just knew—nothing could ever push him away. Even though he wasn’t one to say so with words often, he loved me inexplicably, and I couldn’t ask for more.
His rough fingers covered mine and his warmth engulfed them, making them tingle. The pad of his thumb swept over my knuckles, and he sighed in contentment. I understood how at peace he was, and I was content knowing I could give him the serenity he’d spent his entire life searching for.
Dinner was amazing.
We shared a meal of roasted chicken and potatoes the way he knew I liked them. And instead of some expensive wine that I couldn’t pronounce, he’d bought me a bottle of the cheap stuff Trish and I used to buy from the grocery store when we were finally old enough.
The night was one of perfection, and I was slowly learning that when it came to Sebastian, it always would be. He would make sure of that.
He smiled absently to himself, his eyes moving around the room and taking in the broken views. I could almost see his design plans running through his mind. He was an amazing businessman; I had no doubt the restaurant would be just as beautiful, if not more gorgeous, than the inside of Clive’s.
With his mood being as light as it was, I knew it was a perfect time to bring up the subject of my going to work. I’d been thinking about returning to the workforce for a while, which was the main reason I’d done so much volunteering over the last few months. However, volunteering wasn’t enough anymore. I wanted to be active. I wanted to make a difference, regardless of the money. I could only open so many doors as a volunteer. I could do so much more if I were on the payroll.
We’d been going back and forth over the issue for months, but now that I had my degree, I was ready to be done with it. I was ready to make the move to something more permanent—something more, in general. I knew Sebastian wasn’t going to be happy about it, but I knew what I wanted to do with my life, besides being his wife.
Moving my food around my plate with my fork, I waited for him to finish talking about the restaurant.
“Rosslyn? What’s wrong, beautiful? You look lost in thought.”
“I’m sorry.” I smiled weakly and put my fork down. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something important.”
“Okay.” He put his fork down and a small crease formed around his mouth as he patted it with his cloth napkin. His expression told me he knew exactly where I was going. “I’m listening.”
“I don’t want this to be another argument, Sebastian.”
“Yet you know it will be.”
“It doesn’t have to be. You’re just too stubborn and hard headed to listen to what I’m telling you I want.”
“Rosslyn, consider anything you want, yours. With the exception of …”
“I’m ready to go to work.” I cut him off.
His features tightened as he readied his side of the argument.
I really hated to ruin such a perfect night, but I had to do it. I could only hope that his wonderful mood would keep things light and cheerful.
“Nobody wants to work, Rosslyn. Not when they don’t have to.”
“That’s not true. Plenty of people do something they’re passionate about and like their jobs. You like your job. You love working and making money.”
“I’ve been doing it since I was a stupid kid. I wouldn’t know how not to work.”
“And I’m the same way. Ever since my parents … died,” I started.
Sebastian’s shoulders stiffened as if I’d thrown a punch his way. The death of my parents was something we both hated to bring up, but he needed to hear the facts. “I’ve dreamed of going to school and getting my degree—I’ve dreamed of going to work and making a difference.”
“You’re making a difference in my life. Isn’t that enough?”
“It is, but what about Kyle?”
“What about him?”
“I need to provide for him until he’s capable of providing for himself. That was the plan after Gran died. I was going to go to work and take care of him.”
“And that’s all fine and well, but now, you don’t have to. You have me. That’s my job now.”
“Sebastian, he’s my little brother.”
“And he’s my soon-to-be little brother, as well.”
“Yes, but I can’t expect you to take care of him forever.”
“You’re making excuses, Rosslyn. You know I have no problem whatsoever taking care of your brother. Kyle is more than happy where he is.”
“But what about my happiness?”
“You’re not happy?” His stern expression shifted and softened, and briefly, he looked like a lost little boy. Fear filled his eyes, turning the blue to a stormy gray.
“No, I am,” I corrected. “I just want to …”
“You want to what?” He leaned away from the table—away from me. “Where is this coming from? You seemed happy with all the volunteer work and interning you’ve been doing.”
“I have been. I love volunteering, and I adore the kids I deal with, but …”
“And what about school?”
He wasn’t letting me state my argument, and I was really starting to get annoyed. He was an expert arguer, but being with him over the years had improved my debate skills.
“What about school?” I asked. “I got my associate’s.”
“Yes, but I know you wanted more, Rosslyn. You wanted to attend Cornell in the fall. You wanted to work on getting your master’s. You have plenty to keep you busy, and I have plenty of money to take care of you.”
“I don’t want you to take care of me that way, Sebastian. I want to make my own money, too. I want to contribute something to this relationship and to our marriage when we finally say I do.”
“You contribute more to this relationship than you realize. Don’t you know what you’ve done for me?” His words soothed my frazzled edges. “Don’t debase yourself. You’re invaluable to me. Plus, my money is your money. You don’t need to make more. You have millions.”
I shook my head, refuting his words. “No. It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“Will you feel that way once we’re married?”
“I don’t know how I’ll feel then, but I know I don’t feel that way now. I don’t understand why you’re so against me getting a job.”
I was getting angry and the way my voice shook gave that away. I had said this didn’t need to be a fight, but that was exactly what it was turning into.
Sebastian sighed. “This would be different if you were designing homes for a living or working the stock market on Market Street.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you were to get a job, what kind of job would you look for? Would you be doing something that coincides with your degree? ”
The shift in his argument left me unarmed. I couldn’t fight back if I didn’t understand his strategy.
“Of course. What else would I do?”
He nodded. “So you would do something in criminal law?”
“Yes.”
“Which means you’d be working with criminals?”
His question dispelled my irritation and my sho
ulders dropped. It hadn’t occurred to me that Sebastian was worried about my safety when it came to my career path, but it made sense with his background and childhood. No wonder he was so against me getting a job in my profession.
“I don’t have a problem with you working, Rosslyn. I’m not that kind of man. I’d give anything for your happiness—anything you want—but I do have a problem with you wanting to work with criminals. I know criminals,” he continued when I was unable to respond. “I know what they’re capable of. I know the way their minds work—the way they think—and I don’t want you anywhere around that or them. You mean too much to me. I can’t stand by and watch as you throw yourself in their path. I can’t …”
Getting up, I walked around the table to fit myself into Sebastian’s lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I squeezed him to me and placed my lips on his. He tasted of cheap wine and roasted chicken. His lips moved against mine, as he tasted me. A low moan worked its way across his tongue and vibrated my mouth. When I pulled away, he licked his bottom lips as if he couldn’t get enough of me.
His forehead was warm against mine when I rested mine against his. Closing my eyes, I breathed in his familiar scent and instantly felt safe.
“Sebastian, you have to trust that after all this time with you and the things you’ve taught me, I can take care of myself. I know criminal law isn’t exactly glamorous, but it’s not all dangerous either. I’m not going to go looking for trouble. I can find a job we’re both comfortable with.”
He had shifted away and sighed against my hair before he twisted his fingers in the loose waves beside my face. “I don’t know, Ross …”
“We have to learn to compromise, Sebastian. That’s the only way we’re going to work. Now and after we’re married.”
His eyes met mine—blue against green—love and understanding present in both gazes.
“What kind of compromise?”
I smiled.
I was working my way into his reserve. “How about I get a job between now and the wedding? We’ll give it a trial run to see how both of us adjust to it. After the wedding, I’ll focus on getting my master’s.”
I knew if I could get Sebastian to agree, we would be heading in the right direction. I didn’t want to have to think about what marriage would be like with someone I loved but who couldn’t compromise with me when it came to important life decisions.
Little Black Box Set Page 24