“Sebastian,” Rosslyn choked on a sob as her fingers dug desperately into my wrist.
Her nails cut into my flesh—my blood rushing to the surface in half moon shapes—as she attempted to loosen my hold around her neck.
“Please let go,” she begged in a broken whisper.
It was then that I realized what I was doing.
I dropped my hands from her body, and she collapsed against the counter behind her in a spasm of coughs. Turning, she leaned over the sink as she struggled to drag in much-needed air.
I was paralyzed. I couldn’t even move to help her as I tried to wrap my mind around what I’d just done. My eyes were glued to her—her life—the flushed pink of her skin. She was alive, but I’d almost killed her myself. I’d almost stolen her precious life with my own two hands.
How did this situation get so fucked up?
So fucked up that I’d almost been the one to steal Rosslyn from myself. The same thing I’d been fighting against for weeks.
When she was finally able to breathe, she looked up and her eyes met mine in the bathroom mirror. Her expression was unreadable—broken and shuttered. She turned around and moved to go around me, but I stopped her. My hand wrapped around her slender arm, and she flinched as if I were about to hurt her. It was a kick to the balls.
“Where are you going?”
Her voice was rough and husky as she tried to form the words. “To turn off the shower.”
I moved before she could and found the knobs, turning them until the water came to a stop. When I turned around, I was well aware that Rosslyn had put distance between us. She was hugging herself tightly, and for the first time, I was actually seeing her.
She wore a long t-shirt, but her legs and feet were bare. Her hair was wet and plastered to the side of her cheek and parts of her shirt were also wet, sticking to her body and showing her curvaceous figure.
“You were in the shower?”
She nodded. “I was. I got out to get more body wash and I heard the elevator ding. I didn’t know it was you. I got scared so I hid in the closet. My gun was there, so I got it out and waited.”
At the mention of the gun, my eyes dropped to the floor where it laid—pink and dainty against the cold marble. The room had begun to clear and nothing looked the way it had minutes ago. Everything was clear and obvious.
“I didn’t …” I tried to explain my reason for attacking her, but I couldn’t seem to form the words. “I couldn’t see you … I tried calling, but you didn’t answer … the condo was destroyed … I thought they took you … I heard the shower and I thought maybe … I thought you were one of them.” My explanation came out broken and incomprehensible. “I didn’t realize until it was too late.”
“What are you talking about, Sebastian? Who is they? What’s going on? Why are you doing this to me?”
Her expression crumpled, and I watched her breakdown before me. Tears rushed down her cheeks, her sad eyes stripping me bare. She covered her face with her hands before pushing them into her hair and tugging.
“What did I do to deserve this? Tell me. I need to know so I can understand,” she sobbed. “It hurts so bad. You’re …” Her voice caught. “You’re killing me.”
I could feel myself giving in to her the way I always had. And since it was obvious that I was doing a terrible job at protecting her when she was away from me, I let go.
This wasn’t working. I was making us both crazy. She needed to be with me if this was going to work. Regardless of what the letters said, Rosslyn was safer with me.
My feet moved on their own and I rushed toward her. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I couldn’t shake the realization that I’d almost killed the woman I loved more than anything. I was losing it without her—putting her in danger of me, as well.
My body collided with hers and relief moved through me feeling her so close to me. I pinned her to the wall, her damp body molding against mine.
“No.” She pushed against me, turning her head away. “No more, Sebastian, this is done. We’re done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.”
I swallowed against the pain her words caused. “Never. We’re never done. You’re mine. Forever.”
Her eyes flashed my way—determination and pain swirling in their depths.
“What is this? What are you doing? I’m so confused.”
I lifted my hands and cupped her warm cheeks, and once again, she flinched sending fire and shame through my center.
“I would never hurt you, Rosslyn. Never,” I stated adamantly. “I was out of my mind. I thought someone had hurt you. I didn’t realize you were behind me. I just knew someone was in your condo and that person had a gun to my back.”
My lips touched hers, and I growled in both pleasure and unbearable pain. I let them linger all around her face, leaving nothing untouched. Still, her body remained stiff against me, not letting me in, and I knew I’d spend the rest of my life making up for my stupidity. Already, I owed her so much. I was just adding to the list of things I had to make better.
“I’m so sorry, Rosslyn. I’m so sorry for everything.”
I pleaded for her forgiveness. I needed her to forgive me for being such an ignorant ass. I’d put her through so much over the last few weeks, all in an attempt to keep her safe. I’d been so caught up in the idea of someone hurting her if I didn’t push her away, that I’d hurt her myself. Actually, I’d nearly choked the life out of her.
I was sure I’d destroyed everything I’d built with her over the years.
The trust.
The love.
It had taken so much to bring something so wonderful into my life. It had taken me so long to feel like I was worthy enough for her, but now, I was sure I’d lost her in my attempt to keep her.
This was their plan all along. I’d let the douchebag manipulate me into destroying the only good thing in my life—my relationship with Rosslyn and her love for me.
Tears slid down her cheeks, and I captured them with my thumb. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why won’t you let me in?”
“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. It’s all my fucking fault, Rosslyn.”
And then I folded.
I broke in her arms and ripped myself bare for her. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I pulled her soft body to mine, lost my fingers in her wet hair, and I kissed her like I’d never kissed her before.
IT DIDN’T MATTER HOW LONG I knew him; I’d never understand Sebastian Black. Maybe that was the appeal—never getting inside his mind and never truly being able to reach him.
Untouchable.
Unreadable.
And totally everything I could ever want for the rest of my life.
Except, I couldn’t forget the things he’d said to me over the last few weeks. The way he’d touched the women at the club the night before. So much had happened. So when he kissed me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to kiss him back. I wasn’t sure I could let him continue to do this to me—to push me away only to pull me back like a yo-yo on a very short string.
But against my better judgment, I kissed him back. A moan slipped between my lips and onto his tongue, and he answered with a sexy growl.
He was crazed, out of control, as his hands moved over my body. Grabbing. Pulling. Taking control of me completely. And it felt amazing. My body had been begging for him for weeks. My mind needing some kind of connection with him.
“Never again,” he muttered against my lips. “You’re never leaving my side again.”
He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved us from the bathroom and into my bedroom. He was peeling my damp shirt from my body before he laid me down.
“I need to be inside you,” he said, laying me down and pulling back to rip his shirt over his head. “Fuck. I need you so much, Rosslyn. Always. I’ll always need you.”
He leaned over me, his mouth latching onto my sensitive nipple and making me gasp from the pleasure. My fingers shifted through his dark hair, holding him t
o my body as he softly sucked.
“But you said …” I started, losing my breath as he switched from one breast to the other.
“Fuck what I said,” he growled against my flaming skin.
He moved down my body, nipping at my flesh with his teeth and sending sharp pains of pleasure through my system. He moved fast—hard—knowing exactly what he wanted as he licked around my belly button.
Self-conscious of the tiny bit of rounding starting on my stomach, I pulled at his shoulders until he moved up my body and his lips were on mine. My fingers tackled the button of his pants between us, and when I finally got them unbuttoned, I began to push them down his hips. He helped, shoving them down and pressing his throbbing hardness against my center.
“I can’t … I can’t take it anymore, Sebastian. Please,” I begged.
“Tell me what you want. Anything you want, baby, it’s yours.”
My hips lifted from the bed, begging on their own for his intrusion. My eyes locked with his and I nibbled my bottom lip to control the urge to whine. Moving his hand between us, he palmed his cock, gripping it hard and pumping a few times.
“Is this what you want?”
I nodded. “Yes. Now. Please.”
“Fuck, I love it when you beg for my cock.”
He moved between my legs, leaning back to get an eyeful of my body as he pushed my thighs apart and thrust into me. Relief filled me and from his expression and the way his mouth fell open, he was feeling relief as well.
His body moved fast, filling me repeatedly and sending the sounds of our bodies coming together into sweet echoes around the room. I gripped his ass, pulling him to me—deeper—harder. My body tightened around him as pleasure melted into my inner walls and up into my thighs.
“Yes. Don’t stop, Sebastian. I’m going to …”
I came so hard I screamed. My head dug into the mattress and my toes curled from the pleasure. He felt so good—in me—all around me. And as he continued to pump his body into mine relentlessly, he pulled me from the brink of my amazing orgasm before sending me over the edge once more.
I came for him—only him—and he loved every second of it. His eyes scanned my face, taking in my expression as I broke for him.
“That’s it, baby. Feel it. It feels so fucking good.” His body covered mine as his arms went loose on the sides of my head. He rested his elbows on the mattress while his hips took over all the work. Our stomachs glided together, our sweat making the slide easy.
His eyes closed, and he whispered sweet words of apology and love as he took me completely. He buried his face into my neck, his hot breath sending chills down my chest and arms.
“I’m going to come. So deep. So fucking deep.”
His body stiffened and he paused as he unloaded, filling me so completely that I could feel the warmth of it.
I held him as his body shook with his release, and when his body finally relaxed, I enjoyed the pressure of him on top of me. Letting my fingertips linger up and down his spine, I took the moment in, stamping my memory with all things Sebastian and the way I loved him.
Afterward, we held each other. Words weren’t important, actions were, and the way he held me as if his life depended on it said so much.
He chuckled.
“What’s funny?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. Tell me what you’re thinking, Sebastian.”
Kissing me softly on my forehead, he let his warm lips linger at my hairline. “I was just thinking about how much I love all your pretty new curves. Working at the restaurant looks good on you. Ricky must be feeding you well.”
I sat up quickly, my eyes locking with his as my feelings deflated from his words.
“You think I look fat.”
I felt tears sting my eyes. My feelings were hurt. I was beyond sick and tired of being so sensitive and hormonal.
Cupping my cheeks with his palms, he frowned. “Of course not. I think you’re perfect. You’re fucking beautiful and you know it.” Kissing me sweetly on the lips, he pulled back with a soft smile.
And at that moment, I knew. I just knew. I couldn’t keep it from him anymore. I wanted him to know about the baby. It was only fair. He was the father, and even if things didn’t work out—even if we decided to really call it quits—I knew Sebastian would be an amazing dad.
“I need to tell you something.” The words felt thick against my tongue.
Sensing my seriousness, he sat up and propped himself against the headboard of the bed.
“What’s wrong, Rosslyn?”
“Don’t freak out, okay?”
His expression dropped. His lips pulling tight with worry. “Tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together. I won’t leave your side again. I promise.”
I nodded, understanding that it was safe to say the words I had yet to say out loud.
“I’m pregnant.”
HER WORDS BOUNCED AROUND MY brain briefly before hitting the sensors that made me understand. Everything ceased. The moment stopped completely. Surely, I’d heard her wrong.
“What did you just say?”
She chewed her bottom lip, obviously nervous. I looked down, taking in her body and the new round curves she’d acquired over the last few weeks.
“Um … I’m going to have a baby? I’m not really sure how else to say it.”
Still, her words only chipped away at my foggy brain. Two words played on repeat shocking me with each pass through my mind.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Rosslyn was pregnant with my child. The woman in front of me was full of my child. It was growing inside of her—tiny and needing someone to care for it. Needing her to stay safe and healthy so it could stay safe and healthy.
I was going to be a father. I’d never had a father. The closest thing I’d ever had to a parent was Clive.
What did fathers do?
Could I be a father?
Would I be a good father?
Father.
Father.
I was going to be someone’s father.
Rosslyn reached up and cupped my cheeks, her warm skin knocking me back into the moment.
“Breathe, Sebastian,” she said, her beautiful face coming in clearly. “Are you okay? You’re so pale.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, tears rushed to my eyes, leaping from my lashes and running down my cheeks.
“You’re pregnant?”
Her smile was soft as she reached down, cupped her small stomach, and nodded.
My fingertips grazed her soft skin feeling the hardness of the tiny round pooch that was forming. Suddenly, I remembered how rough I’d been during sex. I’d fucked her so hard. Pulling and pushing her over and beyond.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing what I was sure was a panicked expression on my face.
“Did I hurt you? During sex, I mean. Was I too hard?”
Her face had cleared before she burst into laughter.
I sat there, staring at her reaction and remembering all the things I’d done and said in the last few weeks. I was terrible to her, and the whole time she had been walking around growing my baby.
My son.
My daughter.
My child.
I’d live for this child.
Breathe for this child.
This child would never feel left alone—neglected. He or she would know what it felt like to have a good father in their life. This child would have a mother and father who loved it. This child would have the family I’d dreamed of my entire life.
“I’m serious, Rosslyn. I don’t know anything about this kind of thing. Did I …” The words got stuck in my throat. “Did I hurt it?”
Her laughter died and her face cleared. “You’re serious?”
I nodded, feeling more panicked than I had in my entire life.
She reached out and touched my face; her smile was radi
ant and beautiful.
How had I not noticed her amazing glow before now?
She was Mother Nature—she was the ultimate thing of beauty—carrying life within her. I’d never seen anything like it.
“The baby’s fine, Sebastian. You didn’t hurt it or me.”
I breathed, feeling as though it was the first time I had in days.
“You’re going to have a baby?” I asked.
I knew what she was saying. I wasn’t a total idiot. I just needed to hear it once more.
She nodded, her smile growing. “We’re going to have a baby.”
I pulled her to me and held her tight. More than ever, I had to find the person behind the letters. I had to find him, and I had to get rid of him.
For Rosslyn.
For our unborn baby.
“I love you so much, Rosslyn. I’m going to make everything okay. I’m going to fix this.”
She snuggled into my embrace and giggled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Right now. At this moment. Everything is perfect.”
She had no idea, and I’d make sure she never knew. She didn’t need that kind of stress. She needed to stay healthy and happy. I’d make sure nothing touched her mentally or physically. I’d die before it happened.
WE MADE LOVE ALL NIGHT. Sebastian took his time loving me carefully as if I was a delicate flower. He kissed me sweetly all over, and when we weren’t making love, he was softly whispering promises to my stomach—to our baby. Things were perfect and I fell asleep feeling better than I had in weeks.
The next morning, I woke with a start and jerked into a sitting position. I regretted it instantly as pain shot down my spine. My neck was sore and my head was pounding like a hammer with such ferocity it made me feel sick to my stomach. Clutching the sheet to my body, I rubbed the side of my forehead with my fingers.
The condo was silent—still in a creepy sort of way. It was then that I realized I was alone.
“Sebastian?” I called out, but there was only silence.
I looked around for a note from him, but he’d left nothing in the room. Pulling the blankets back, I threw my legs over the side of the bed, but I didn’t move to get up. Looking behind me at the rumpled sheet, I moved my hand over the disarray, smoothing the fabric out.
Little Black Box Set Page 39