The walls were blue as if they’d expected a young boy when they painted it. A full-size bed centered the space, and positioned under the window facing the street was a wooden desk.
It was nice—the nicest place I’d ever lived, but I gave it two weeks before they were shipping my ass back and returning me like a faulty purchase.
“Sebastian?” Deloris called my name, breaking me from my thoughts. “It’s time for me to go and let you guys get better acquainted.”
I wasn’t sure I was ready for Deloris to leave, which sounded stupid. I wasn’t a baby, and I’d all but tried to push Deloris out of my life over the years. Still, a tiny bit of panic slipped into my stomach at the thought of her leaving me with people I didn’t know. People who didn’t understand me the way Deloris did. People who didn’t get my sarcastic jokes or know my history.
This panic wasn’t usually there when Deloris left me with a family. Something was different, and I wasn’t sure I felt okay with that fact.
But when I turned around and saw Jane standing just behind Deloris, things didn’t feel so terrible. A smile I was slowly getting used to lit her cobalt eyes, calming my wrecked nerves.
I breathed away the panic and tried to calm myself. I’d never let these people know how worried and afraid I really was. Fear was a weakness I wasn’t willing to let win.
I was Sebastian Stephens.
I’d been through it all.
I could handle this situation the same way I’d handled the rest of my life.
Calm.
Cool.
Collected.
And just for a while, I would let myself believe that things were going to be okay even if I knew deep down it was total bullshit. Things would never be okay. Not until I was old enough to come and go as I pleased. Not until I was old enough to make my own decisions. Not until I was in charge of my own life. That time was rapidly approaching.
Once Deloris was gone, Jane lingered in the doorway for only a second after her husband had gone downstairs.
“I’ll just leave you here to get comfortable,” she said, reaching for the knob to shut the door. “Welcome home, Sebastian.”
Again, a nervous smile tilted her plump lips, and her eyes moved over my face once more before the door shut the view of her away.
The door clicked with finality, and in my mind, the tiny click sounded more like a large iron door slamming shut—closing me in the space like a prisoner, yet surrounding me in a solitude I’d never been able to reach before.
It was strange, feeling locked in a situation I had no control over, but if I was stuck somewhere, at least that somewhere was nice. So far, the place wasn’t so bad. Even if the man of the house was a watered-down version of a man.
At least I had Jane.
And if Jane was willing to try, then I supposed I should be willing, too.
The bed squeaked beneath me when I sat and dropped my backpack onto the floor. It was a comfortable mattress—an expensive one—and I’d never slept on anything so nice. As I laid back on the plush comforter and enjoyed the first space I’d ever been able to call my own, I took a deep breath and exhaled.
I suppose there was no harm in trying, which was exactly what I planned to do. Especially if it meant I could have nice things and admire Jane’s sweet smile every day.
THREE
DINNER WITH THE JEPSONS WAS A SERIOUS AFFAIR.
One that made me uncomfortable and itchy. They had the table all laid out rich people style. More than one fork lined up neatly on top of my cloth napkin, and a wine glass full of water sat on the side of my plate with tiny chunks of round ice floating on the top.
It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced in all the homes I’d been in.
Did people really live this way?
One thing was for sure … my ripped jeans and stained shirt didn’t belong.
I didn’t belong.
That was obvious to me, and soon, it would be obvious to them, too.
They sat across from each other staring lovingly like we were in an episode of Brady Bunch minus five other little assholes running around. Occasionally, Darrell would reach out and touch Jane’s hand. I found myself rolling my eyes more than usual.
A crystal chandelier twinkled above our heads, raining drops of light on everything around us and reflecting off the expensive plates and glasses we were using.
I took inventory, so the moment I felt they were getting close to giving me the boot, I could pluck anything valuable and pawn it. Either that or I’d sell it on the streets. Luckily for me, the Jepsons had expensive taste. I would make a fortune off these people if I played my cards right.
Darrell had a good job. And if the degrees that littered the walls of an office I’d passed were any indication, he was also smart.
But I was smarter. At least when it came to life and the streets—when it came to survival.
He might know his shit when it came to books, but I could lift his wallet and smile in his face at the same time. His degrees didn’t scare me.
Then again, nothing scared me anymore really.
He reached across the table once again, his long, hairy fingers wrapping around Jane’s soft, delicate hand. They were having a secret conversation with their eyes that made me fidget in my seat.
I looked away.
It was too weird seeing people act normal, and I didn’t like the way it made me feel.
Poking at the leafy green shit on my plate, I silently wished it was a big, greasy slice of pizza. The rabbit food they were trying to feed me was all kinds of wrong. I wanted boxed frozen foods. I was used to processed meats and canned goods.
The freshness on my plate was under seasoned and bland. Shifting through the pile of greens with my fork, I flinched when a red tomato rolled across my plate and landed into the pile of white goo on the side.
“Is the food okay?” Jane asked.
I looked up from my food, if you could call it that, just as the smile on her face was starting to fall.
“I probably should’ve asked what you like to eat. I’m sorry.” She frowned and poked at her food as well, prompting Darrell to squeeze her fingers.
He obviously didn’t like seeing her unhappy, and strangely, I was finding that I didn’t like it either.
I wanted to tell her it tasted like stale ass and grass, but suddenly being an asshole wasn’t as important to me as bringing her happy smile back.
Not to mention, I’d promised myself upstairs in my new comfortable bedroom that I’d at least try. Being my usual dick self wasn’t trying.
My face ached as I forced my lips to stretch into a rare smile.
“It’s fine. Thank you,” I choked.
The words felt foreign on my tongue and thick in my throat, making me reach out for the glass of water and down it.
The room went silent except for the clinking of forks against porcelain, and I avoided eye contact as I continued to take in the richness of the dining room and the big screen TV in the room next to us.
I was in the middle of considering how much money I could pawn it for when Darrell spoke.
“How about we go out and grab a pizza. How’s that sound?”
He was talking to me, snatching my attention away from the Blu-ray player and sound system calling my name.
I didn’t answer even though pizza sounded delicious.
My stomach growled, but even though I was starving, and even though the thought of pizza made my mouth water, I shrugged as if it didn’t matter.
They didn’t need to know I was excited about the prospect of pizza. They didn’t need to know what made me happy. In my experience, when people knew what gave you joy, they could hold those things over your head.
I never wanted to give anyone anything they could hold over me.
Even if it was only cheesy, saucy deliciousness.
“That sounds like a perfect idea. Just let me change, and we’ll get going,” Jane said, sliding her chair from the table and tossing her cloth napkin o
n top of her half-eaten salad.
Darrell watched his wife leave the room, his eyes lingering on her ass and hips before turning his attention on me. He hadn’t gotten up yet, so I figured I had to sit there too. It was the last thing I wanted since I could already see the small talk forming on his lips.
“So what do you like to do for fun, Sebastian?” he asked.
His mannerisms changed once Jane left the room. His happy, easy smiles shifted into something forced and for show. Suddenly, I no longer felt welcome in their home. The atmosphere around me grew cold and heavy, and my shoulders stiffened in defense.
“Mostly drugs and stealing,” I said sarcastically, leaning back in my chair and testing his reserve. “Sometimes, I dabble in a bit of porn.”
I was lying … sort of.
I had tried my share of drugs, but it wasn’t something I often did. Some people had addictive personalities, and I was one of them, but drugs never did it for me. I was already living in a fucked-up reality. I didn’t want to alter it and accidentally make it worse.
Still, I’d been around every drug known to man, and that was mostly due to social services. The foster care system wasn’t always reliable, and with so many kids to place, they got sloppy with their background checks.
I found out firsthand how shitty their vetting process was when I was placed with a family whose main source of income was supplying the streets of New York with the purest cocaine Columbia could produce.
Vinny and Shelia weren’t looking for a family. They didn’t want children. They wanted free labor and a paycheck from the state.
Four foster kids lived in their home, myself being the second oldest, and for the six months I was there, I was their drug mule, having thousands of dollars of deadly doses shoved in places I’d barely had time to explore myself.
People were monsters, and the customers I dealt with were the kind of people normal parents warned their kids about. Not those parents, though. They tossed us onto the streets, selling their product and handing us over to some of the worst humans New York had to offer.
The things I saw while living with that family weren’t soon forgotten, but I survived the way I always did. With my head down and my ass covered.
Deloris pulled me and the three other foster kids from their care the second she got wind of our environment, and within hours of our removal, SWAT raided the place.
I found out a week later that Vinny and Shelia had been shot and killed during the raid, and as despicable as it sounds, I smiled when I heard the news.
I vowed from the moment Deloris pulled me from their home that I’d never mess with the hard stuff. I’d seen what it did to people, and I never wanted to be so delusional.
Stealing, on the other hand, was something I did more than my fair share of. I was good at it. It was survival that pushed me to lift things that weren’t mine, and I wasn’t going to apologize for doing what I had to do. I learned early on that the world was a fucked-up place. You had to do what you had to do to survive.
Darrell laughed hard, his head rolling back as he smacked the top of the table, making me jump.
“Porn, huh?” He chuckled and swiped at the moisture on the side of his eye. “You’re something else, Sebastian.”
He thought I was joking.
And while part of what I said had been a joke, it still pissed me off to be laughed at.
My fingers tangled into my cloth napkin as the anger grew within.
His laughter died, and his face cleared.
“Sebastian? You okay, son?”
I wanted to tell him not to call me son. I didn’t have a father, and being in his house for less than a day didn’t qualify me as his. I belonged to no one.
Still, I was supposed to be trying. So because of that, I kept my mouth shut and breathed my anger away, my nostrils flaring with each breath I took.
Trying would be a lot harder than I realized, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep myself in check.
“I’m sorry I laughed.” He coughed. “But seriously, what do you like to do for fun?”
I went for the generic answer to appease him.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I guess normal kid stuff.”
What did normal kids my age even do?
The fact was, I didn’t know enough about what was normal to give him a detailed lie.
Even though in the eyes of everyone else, I was just a teenage asshole, I felt like an old man. It was hard to hang on to your youth when your childhood basically consisted of moving from one house to another, never knowing where you’d end up.
It was hard to hold on to innocence when your innocence was being ripped away from you every day you lived in the real world—and with every second, you realized nothing was like the fairy tales you’d once been read.
Life was hard and unapologetic, and if you didn’t acclimate, it would swallow you whole.
“Does normal kid stuff consist of video games?”
He was asking the wrong person.
“I guess,” I answered.
He nodded, happy with my attempt at an answer.
“I thought we could hit GameStop this weekend and see what we could find. How does that sound? Think you’d like that, buddy?”
Buddy?
I was so fucking far from being this guy’s buddy it wasn’t even funny.
He was survival.
My next step to freedom.
And while I was trying, this guy was making it awfully hard to bite my tongue. He talked to me like I was an innocent six-year-old boy when I was almost a man. I was on the cusp of stepping into adulthood. Hell, as far as I was concerned, I was more experienced in life than this guy was. Just because he was a legal adult didn’t mean he knew more than I did. It didn’t mean he was better than I was.
He wasn’t.
“Sure,” I said, the word feeling like sandpaper against the back of my teeth.
I was seconds away from exploding. Being treated like a child wasn’t working for me even a little. But before I could burst, Jane walked into the room, and the heat she brought with her burned away the chilly atmosphere around me.
“Sorry I took so long. You boys ready?”
She’d changed into a dress. It was light blue, and it floated around her knees like delicate petals of fabric. She bent to pick up the yappy rat dog and the material lifted, sliding up the back of her thighs and revealing milky skin.
I looked.
I couldn’t help myself.
My eyes followed the slow rise of the fabric, taking in every inch of flesh as it was revealed.
When she stood with the dog in her arms, I was only seconds away from getting a full view of her perky ass and what I knew, from the lack of panty lines, was a thong.
Fuck.
I shifted in my seat, my balls suddenly feeling weighted and stiff.
My eyes shifted over her stomach before moving up to her ample chest.
The fabric clung to her body, the blue color highlighting her peachy skin and making her look as though she was glowing.
The straps of the dress were thin, showing off her sun-kissed shoulders, and the low-cut front gave just a hint of cleavage. However, when she leaned over to set the dog down, it tugged down, letting the voluptuous curves of the tops of her tits pop from the cover of her white lacy bra.
My mouth felt like it was full of sand, and I couldn’t swallow. I choked a bit, the sound escaping me before I could hold it back.
Jane looked up and smiled, and the simple gesture did something to my insides. My hardened corners softened beneath her gaze, spilling like a flash flood over the walls I’d spent the past few years building.
I wasn’t as experienced as I liked to pretend I was. I’d had my share of heated make-out sessions with girls my age, and I might have hit all the major bases, filling my palms with young, undeveloped breasts, but this was different.
With Jane, everything was suddenly different.
She was doing something
to me that I’d never experienced, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was out of my league for the first time in my life, and it left me feeling unsure and incompetent.
In the back of my mind, I knew it was sick. She was supposed to be like family to me, after all. But my mind and my body were on two different stations.
Darrell moved to her side, kissing her sweetly on the cheek. “You look beautiful, sweetie.”
My thoughts were moving a million miles a second, and I could hardly believe I was thinking it, but Jane Jetson was kind of hot.
No.
Not kind of.
Jane Jetson was definitely fucking hot.
Especially next to a joke like Darrell.
She was with him for the money.
That must be it.
I refused to believe she was attracted to a man like him.
And the longer I watched the two of them together, the more I noticed how one-sided their relationship was.
She was hot.
Late thirties.
He was a Shaggy look-alike.
Late forties.
Together, they didn’t work.
Not physically anyway.
Again, I took in her slender legs and wondered what her panties looked like beneath her dress. I imagined her plump ass cheeks spilling over the sides of the fabric of her thong, capturing it between the two orbs as it rubbed over all the sweet places between her thighs.
My eyes traveled slowly up her body, perusing the dips and curves, and my cock throbbed beneath the table with every inch of her that I took in.
Finally, my eyes moved up her slender neck, and our eyes connected.
She was looking back at me.
Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment, and briefly, she looked away with shy eyes. Obviously, she’d caught me checking her out.
Shit.
I’d just been caught checking out my new “mom.” So much for trying. I was sure shit would go downhill quickly after that point. My young, probing eyes would probably disgust her, and I’d get shipped back sooner than I thought I would.
I’d end up back in the fucking group home with the rest of the losers. Eating scraps and sleeping on the hardest mattresses made.
Little Black Box Set Page 45