I only wished I could be a fly on the wall when Darrell and Jane came home and realized I’d taken all their valuables. To see the utter shock and devastation of knowing their things were gone. Things they could never get back—mementos of their lives.
I laughed to myself as I stuffed a piece of steak in my mouth.
“What’s so funny?” Vick asked as she chewed at her own medium-rare beef.
“Nothing. I just hope my baby batter was worth all their expensive shit.”
She laughed. “Doubt it.”
Later, as we lay in our beds separated by the blankets we had stolen, we laughed with our bellies full of good food.
“Jessica Rabbit? Should I know who that is?” Vick asked as I explained my cartoon obsession.
I sat up on my elbow and faced the blanket as if she could see me from the other side.
“You’re not fucking serious?”
She laughed. “Yes! It’s not like I sit around watching TV all the time, Sebastian. I mean, I couldn’t tell you the last time I watched a movie.”
I plopped back on my pillows in shock.
I thought I’d had a hard upbringing, but at least I had the colorful fun of cartoons to get me through. Apparently, Vick had even less than I did.
“Soon,” I promised. “We need electricity, and we need to buy a TV and a DVD player.”
Again, she laughed.
“Sure. We’ll just hook it up in the den and relax in our leather recliners,” she joked.
“I’m being serious, Vick. We won’t always live like this. It will get better.”
She didn’t respond, and I knew it was because she didn’t believe me. Nothing had ever been great in our lives. We couldn’t expect it to get better when it was only bound to get worse.
But I had determination. And if I had to lie, cheat, and steal to get somewhere in this life, then so be it. Honesty was always best, but honestly, I was hanging on the edge of everything. I wanted a real life. One that didn’t consist of a tin building without electricity and no idea where my next meal would come from.
Soon, I promised myself before turning on my side and drifting off to sleep.
EIGHTEEN
DETERMINATION WAS APPARENTLY MY GAME. After that night, I stalked local businesses for the items we would need to get electricity at our place.
A generator.
Extension cords.
The works.
I wasn’t usually one to steal things I didn’t need—always putting wants behind the necessities—but this was different. Everyone should experience the joys of entertainment in their life because without those things, you are only surviving.
I wanted to live.
Also, we had nearly frozen to death the winter before. Even wrapped in all the blankets we could find while burning anything we could in a large burn barrel we had snagged.
That wasn’t going to happen again. We wouldn’t survive. If it was the last thing I did, I’d find us a way to generate some heat. My fingers and toes depended on it.
So after casing a few places, I convinced a local kid to help me steal a generator from a Chinese restaurant around the corner from our place for the last ten bucks I had in my pocket from pawning Jane’s grandmother’s ring.
He was an obvious tweaker—his eyes wide and red and his hands shaking for his next fix—and I knew he would do anything for his next hit.
It worked out.
I had the manpower I needed to drag that heavy son of a bitch home, and he had enough money in his pocket to get his high that night.
“Holy shit!” Vick exclaimed when I turned on a light for the first time. “This is amazing!”
I laughed as she turned a lamp I had snagged on and off with a wide grin on her face.
Electricity.
Light.
Such a normal thing to have and this girl was flipping out because she wouldn’t have to use candles anymore. We would have to make sure we had plenty of gasoline to keep the thing running, but that was fine by me. We only needed light at night, and we only needed heat on occasion.
A source of heat was next on my list.
I had cleaned the area around the building we made a home and checked to make sure the place was secure. I didn’t want to wake in the middle of the night to find some crazy fuck standing over me. If we had found shelter in the building, I was positive someone else would try to at some point, and we needed to protect ourselves.
Thankfully, we hadn’t had that problem yet, but I wanted to make sure to cover all our bases.
Burning the brush I’d cleared to get heat was no longer an option since it was gone, but I knew I would come up with something. If I could steal a generator, stealing a heater should be cake.
“I can’t believe you did this, Sebastian,” Vick whispered with emotion in her eyes.
I looked away since emotion wasn’t something we ever showed. She was hard as stone, and so was I. We didn’t need to go getting soft now, not when things were slowly looking up.
“Well, there’s more to come. I promised things would get better, and I always keep my promises.”
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to keep that promise.
A week later, we celebrated Vick’s birthday the weekend before the actual day. We dined and dashed at a seafood restaurant since she was determined to try lobster, and then we managed a few cheap bottles of vodka and drank and laughed on the corner under Graffiti Bridge.
Street kids left their stories there, marking their madness with spray paint and sadness under a broken, unused bridge on the edge of the city. Vibrant colors swirled as pictures depicting life, love, and sorrow played out around us. Names in thick unique fonts stood out, naming those who had been in the same predicament as us—homeless, alone, and taking on New York City.
“We need to leave our mark on this place,” she slurred, lying back on the dirty concrete and staring up at the artwork plastered on every available surface.
“Next time, we’ll bring paint.”
“Yeah, you can draw your Jessica Rabbit everywhere.” She laughed.
I snorted. “Yep. Except I draw for shit.”
She turned on her side, facing me with a smile. “Is Sebastian actually admitting that he sucks at something? No fucking way.”
I pushed at her shoulder, rolling my eyes, and took a swig from my bottle. The burning liquid somehow warmed me from the inside out.
“I’m great at everything I do.” I chuckled.
“Yeah, right.”
Silence moved over us as we stared at the cracking concrete above us.
“Sebastian?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s your last name?”
I knew my last name, but for some reason, it had never held any meaning to me since I had no family to hold that name with me.
I wasn’t even sure how I had gotten the name or where it had come from. And at that moment, as her question bounced around my brain, hitting all the receptors and triggering terrible memories of my life, I knew I had to drop Stephens.
One day, I would make my own name. Something that belonged to me and only me. A name that matched me as a person and the life I had led since I had no family name to claim.
“I don’t have a last name,” I muttered, swallowing more of the burning liquid.
She sighed.
“Yeah. Me either.”
Vick was my friend, and somehow, she was slowly becoming like family, but I wasn’t about to hold on to her. I had lost every person I had ever dared to love, and something told me the second I claimed a connection with Vick, I would lose her, too.
“This shit is depressing. Let’s do something fun,” she said, standing and throwing her bottle at the colorful concrete wall at her side.
The bottle exploded, shattering into bits of glass before falling to the ground.
I stood and brushed off my ripped jeans.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Something exciting.”
I could
see the wheels working in her mind then I watched as her eyes went wide and she grinned.
“I got it,” she said, pulling on my hand and dragging me along with her. “I think it’s time I learn all about this Jessica Rabbit.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah, and how’s that going to happen?”
After emptying my bottle, I threw mine against the wall as we passed; it shattered like hers had before glittering to the ground.
“With a TV and a DVD player, of course.”
“And where are we going to get those?”
I had a feeling I knew the answer, but I asked anyway.
She turned and faced me, her smile growing evil and determined.
“The same way we get everything we have. We’re going to take them.”
NINETEEN
“BUT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY,” SHE WHINED. “Come on, Sebastian. I promise it will be okay.”
I dug my feet into the grass and pulled my arm away. I had no idea when I agreed to go along with stealing a big screen TV that she already had a house in mind.
“I’ve had my eye on this place for a while now. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be in this house. They will have everything I want. I just know it.”
“Are you sure there are no alarms?” I asked as I stared up at the enormous house that loomed in front of us.
The place looked expensive, and expensive places always protected their shit. I had no doubt an alarm was in place, and if not, a big fucking dog was sure to be on the other side of the fence ready to take a bite out of our asses.
“No alarms. I used to sit across the street and watch the dad leave every morning. It’s like the perfect fucking family lives here.”
She began climbing the fence, and when she realized I wasn’t following, she turned and sighed. “Just trust me.”
“Darrell has a big screen. Let’s just go back to the Jepson’s and take his,” I said as I crept across the lawn toward the fence.
“Nope. I want this house.”
I stopped.
“It doesn’t matter which house it is as long as we get what we want,” I stated.
Something in my gut was telling me to turn around. A darkness shivered up my spine, telling me what we were doing was wrong. Usually, I was along for the ride, but this night was different.
Something wasn’t right.
“Come the fuck on, Sebastian,” Vick whispered as she disappeared over the side of the fence.
She was faster than I was, but she still had clumsy moments, which was why I never let her do jobs by herself. She thought she was a professional, and while she was good at stealing, she wasn’t very good at not getting caught. Several times, she had accidentally tripped the alarms.
I thought back to the first night I met her and how calm and cool she had been about breaking into the house. She seemed like a professional then. It was only after working together I noticed that she was carefree about it, never careful enough to cover her back and watch for traps.
I lifted myself over the fence and fell to my feet beside her.
“You’re getting slow.” She grinned over at me.
“Fuck you,” I said. “Let’s get this shit over with.”
We moved across the perfectly manicured backyard toward the house Vick had her eyes on for the past few weeks. She said it was the house of her dreams. She wanted a home and family like the one inside.
We all had our dreams and envisioned the kind of life we would have if we hadn’t been given away, so I understood her obsession with the house. Even though I’d told her over and over again that I would pick the houses, I knew her birthday was soon. So like a dumbass, I went along with her plan.
“Okay, are you sure the people are out of town?” I asked.
“Yes. Now quit worrying. We’ll be in and out before you know it.”
I trusted Vick with my life. I had no reason to believe she would lie to me about anything.
“Fine, but still no lights. The neighbors around neighborhoods like this watch each other’s backs. Let’s just get in, get the shit, and get the fuck out.”
“I’m not an idiot, Sebastian. I’ve done this more than you have.”
The stolen credit card I used on the back door bent as I pressed it into the lock. Pulling on the knob, the door popped open.
“Like a pro,” Vick whispered with a smile.
She bumped her shoulder into mine playfully. That was the problem. She played too much in serious situations like this one.
I gave her the evil eye, telling her to shut the fuck up, and then moved stealthily through the house. Vick was on my heels as we moved through the place, looking for valuables along the way. The bottom floor was spotless, and we didn’t find much of anything.
“Come on,” Vick whispered, taking the stairs to the second floor.
I followed her into the master bedroom.
“Jackpot,” Vick whispered, tugging on my arm. “Help me get the TV.”
Nodding my head, I moved toward the wall with the TV, and we both lifted it from the stand and set it on the floor. It was at that moment, the bathroom door flew open, and a man in a pair of silk pajama pants stepped out. He was yawning with his eyes closed and scratching his head. Once his eyes opened, they landed on us. Vick and I both froze in the light coming from the bathroom.
“What are you doing in my house?”
He moved toward the side of the bed with the phone. It was then I saw a lady sleeping on the other side.
I held up my hands. “No need for that. We’ll just leave.”
I moved toward the door, hoping Vick would follow. Neither of us needed to be arrested.
I was standing in the doorway when I looked back. Vick wasn’t there. Instead, she was standing in front of the man, and she was holding a gun aimed at him.
“What are you doing?” I said, making my way back toward her. “No. This is not how this is going down.”
I broke into houses to survive, but carrying a gun around and pulling it on people was not okay with me.
“He’s going to call the cops, Sebastian,” she said in a hushed tone. “Fuck, now he knows your name. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes were wild. She was freaking out.
“Vick, just give me the gun. We’ll get the hell out of here, and no one will know anything. Let’s just go,” I said calmly as I reached out for the gun.
Her hand was shaking, which meant her trigger finger was shaking, too.
And then everything moved in slow motion. The husband stood there with his hands up, fear in his eyes, while the wife started to stir. And then she sat straight up in bed and screamed.
The gunshots rang out, deafening me as I watched the man fall to the floor. Blood oozed from his neck, and he choked as he tried to breathe. I moved quickly toward Vick, but it was too late. The wife was running toward the door, and Vick was shooting over and over again.
Everything went silent except for the sounds of the husband taking his last breath and the wife beginning to choke and gasp for life. And then, the screams of a baby in the room next door.
Vick dropped the gun and took off running as if I wasn’t even in the room with her. Her loud footsteps on the wooden stairs echoed through the house. I stood there in shock, sure that I was dreaming, but then the woman started moaning.
I should have run, but I didn’t. Instead, I dropped to my knees next to the woman dying on the floor, and I grabbed her hand.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her. “I’m so sorry.”
Her wide eyes were trained on me as her body started to shake. Blood splattered from her mouth and landed on her lips. She was trying to say something, but I couldn’t understand. Leaning down closer to her, I turned my head so she could speak in my ear.
“Please,” she struggled to say.
And then I felt her shaking fingers on mine as she placed something hard and cold in my palm. She closed my hand around the object and pleaded with her eyes. I didn’t know what she was
asking me for, but I couldn’t help her.
I should have called the police or 911, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was scared. I’d never seen anyone die before, and my stomach was twisting with fear. All I did was lean over her and watch as a tiny tear fell from her eye as she took her last breath.
I opened my hand and looked down at the locket in my palm.
What was she trying to tell me?
And then a sound to my left made me jump, and I looked up to see a young girl standing in the doorway looking back at me. She was no more than ten. Her tiny feet peeked out from under her nightgown as her fear-filled eyes took in the scene around her.
The woman obviously wanted me to have the locket. I didn’t know what else to do, so I popped the chain from around her neck.
I stood holding her locket in my hand. My eyes clashed with the little girl’s once more, and then I took off, running past her and down the stairs. Once I lifted myself over the fence, I puked all over the ground before running off into the darkness.
As badly as I wanted to turn myself in, it meant turning Vick in, too, and I wasn’t willing to do that. She was the only family I had—my baby sister. What she had done was wrong, but I couldn’t let her go to jail.
I couldn’t.
That night, I changed. I lay in bed and blocked out all the memories of the night, completely cutting off my emotions so I didn’t feel the guilt or the hurt tearing me apart.
Popping open the locket the woman had given me, I saw two pictures inside. One of the little girl and another of the baby I’d heard screaming. I’d witnessed two people die—parents. I’d left two children without a mother or a father. I’d sentenced them to a life like mine. I’d never get over that for the rest of my life … never.
PART THREE
INTO THE BLACK
One Year Later
TWENTY
I SPENT MY NINETEETH BIRTHDAY ON THE STREETS of New York … alone. And I knew once the colder months came, I would be in hell, but I had no idea how bad it was without some kind of wall to block the winter winds.
Little Black Box Set Page 56