They posed in a large group standing, knees bent and elbows on each other’s shoulders, then all turned to the side with their dive masks on, then clowning around trying to make a cheerleading pyramid. I wondered if my liability insurance covered crap like this. Claim: Not very smart girl 1 breaks arm falling off human pyramid in dive equipment. Claim: Not very smart girl 2 fractures pelvis when landed on by Not very smart girl 1. I shook my head and waited, taking photos patiently.
I started them with snorkeling because I was concerned they hadn’t listened well enough to use the equipment safely for a dive. I figured I could show them some pretty fish and they’d be happy to move on. I explained the fragility of the reef and the need not to touch sea life. We were here to appreciate, not to interfere. I just knew one of them was going to touch a damn jellyfish if she wasn’t warned repeatedly.
There was more flirting, some fake terror where another girl clung to my arm and pressed her tits against me. I was polite and kept my hands up. Eventually, after what seemed like eight hours but really was only about forty-five minutes, we got in the water. That was when Kynzee, the blonde who’d licked my arm, started showing off.
“Check this out, guys,” she said and proceeded to dive down and do a handstand with splits. Everyone cheered and clapped and the girl with the waterproof phone case took pictures. Then some more of them tried to do tricks until I interrupted and said, “If you want to see the reef, we’re getting tight on time. Follow me, and breathe through your mouth, use the flippers and pay attention.”
I took them over to the small, vibrant coral reef so they could see the Queen Angelfish in its graceful yellow and blue glory. I promised if they were lucky they’d see the emerald green Stoplight Parrotfish. I pointed out the Longsnout Seahorse and, hand to God, Kynzee tried to grab one. I caught her wrist in time. We came to the surface and I still had her wrist.
“I know they look cool,” I said as patiently as I could, “but you could hurt them accidentally. We don’t touch them. It’s part of the form you signed to do this.”
“I just wanted to touch it,” she pouted, “And I always get what I want.”
“I’m sure you do,” I said, “but in this case, I can’t let you harm the fish. Thank you for following the rules even when they seem like they’re no fun.”
“You’re no fun,” she said. “When do we get to have some fun?”
She moved in on me, her hands on my shoulders. I backed up, “That’s not what we’re here for,” I said. I didn’t want a bad review from this rowdy group, but I wasn’t going to be groped either.
I continued pointing out features of the reef, talked about the dangers of coral bleaching a little. I thought things were going better when I heard a yelp. Kynzee bobbed up to the surface, screaming and holding her leg. Fuck.
I went to her side to check her out, my medic training kicking in, “Did something sting you?”
“No!” she moaned, showing me her foot. She’d cut herself pretty badly, no doubt by stepping on the sharp coral.
“Where are your flippers?” I said. She shrugged and continued to cry, “Somebody find her flippers,” I said.
Then I took her arm and started to pull her in to shore. We weren’t out far but she acted like she was freaking dying from a cut on her foot that was her own fault. I’d have to check later for damage to the reef and report it to Marine Fisheries. Goddamn this day. From the hangover and missing Karin to these idiot girls. I made sure I maintained professionalism and concern instead of following my instinct to shout and cuss at her for being stupid. If she had just listened to the safety instructions, if she had done anything to show respect for marine life instead of bouncing around like she was auditioning for a reality show…
She was having a hard time putting any weight on her injured foot, and I had to get them to the shore quickly. I made a decision and picked her up.
“Let’s move!” I said, scooping her up in my arms.
I didn’t want any of us in the water when the blood attracted predators. I strode out of the water with Kynzee clinging to my neck and crying.
When we reached the sand, I set her down. She wiped away her tears with a laugh.
“My hero!” she said, reaching up to touch my face.
I concentrated on checking out her foot, my face grim. She was petting my wet hair. I had my mask and snorkel shoved up on my head and she was really annoying me, tugging at hair that was caught beneath the silicone strap.
“Do you mind?” I said tersely.
“What?”
“Not touching me,” I said.
“Why not? You’re touching me!” she tittered.
“Hold still,” I ordered.
I sent one of the girls running for my first aid kit. I looked up to see if she was on her way back yet, but instead I saw Karin. She was standing across the beach as if she’d been coming toward me and stopped. She had her camera in her hand and a hurt look on her face about twenty feet from me. She stared at me, shook her head and walked off. I wanted to follow her, but Kynzee was my responsibility for now. I had to keep that top of mind despite wanting to run after Karin. Surely she could see I was in the middle of something. Something that looked like a blonde in a bikini with her arms around me.
Chapter 10
Karin
I spent hours in my studio space, selecting and adjusting the best images from the hotel exteriors. When I had each photo fine-tuned to represent both our brand’s agreed-upon aesthetic (modern and a little moody with shadows) and the hotel’s best advantage, I presented them to Elise.
She had promised to look them over and told me that Brendan had said Mickey only had one group dive in the afternoon and might be free afterward. I thought it was a good opportunity to clear the air between us. We could talk about what happened the night before when he was drunk and I drove him home. I needed to know what he meant by us not being a good idea. Was he tired of the back and forth between us? The fiery chemistry that ignited and then the way I backed off afterward. The fact that sometimes I was all in, but other times I was running scared.
It made my stomach hurt to think about Mickey being done with me. I needed to talk to him and find out for sure. I needed to be able to move, in what I kept telling myself. And I wasn’t going to do anything stupid like cry about it either. It was just a friends with benefits thing, a sexy fling. Fuck buddies had to be a dime a dozen on an island like this. Everybody I saw was tanned and ripped and hot. There were even some extra O’Shea brothers running around who were single. Not that I’d do that. His brothers? Ugh, never, but it made me feel better to pretend I had loads of options.
Grabbing my camera in case I could catch a few shots of Mickey in action—I was thinking Jason Momoa in Aquaman style—I headed to the section of beach where he ran dives. I hopped out of the car and readied my camera. Squinting in the harsh sunlight, I headed toward the group I could see in the water from a distance. I zoomed in with my lens to watch. I knew my jaw dropped when I saw him scoop up some tiny blonde with huge boobs and carry her off in his arms. He left the rest of the group. They had to gather equipment and scramble after him. He looked like he was so wrapped up in this blonde sorority girl that he couldn’t even be bothered to do his job as a dive instructor. Single-minded, he strode through the waves, cradling her effortlessly while she kicked her feet, hung on his neck and giggled. They were flirting. While he carried her around. She was getting my Jason Momoa fantasy. Who said she got to be Amber Heard? I lowered my camera and stared in horror.
He laid her down on the sand, leaning over her. Oh my lord they are going to do it right here on the beach. He is going to start kissing her and I think I just threw up in my mouth. I took a step back, shook my head and bolted for my car. I drove off as fast as I could, and I made my way back to work. I couldn’t go to the cabin and risk running into one of his brothers. I tried to slip into the office unnoticed, but the secretary, Nova, called out a greeting.
“You’re back quickly!” she
said, “did you forget something?”
I shook my head. And here came Elise, popping her head out of her little office to see that it was me. I lifted a hand in a halfhearted wave and went into my studio space. She followed me. Nosy bitch. My best friend could not let anything go, not even if I clearly wanted to be alone. I loved her for it, but it was frustrating.
“Hey, what happened? I thought you were going to visit Mickey? You didn’t much more than leave and here you are back,” Elise said. I could tell she was worried about me.
I shrugged, “He was busy.”
“With a dive group? It must have been serious business if he didn’t put it on pause to see you,” Elise looked as confused as I had been.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
I crouched down on the floor to untangle a cord on my equipment. It was something to mess with, to look busy. A way to avoid looking directly at Elise.
It felt like there was an entire avocado pit in my throat that I couldn’t swallow down. My eyes smarted as I blinked back tears.
“What’s going on?”
“I was going to take some pictures, like of him taking a group on the dive, some candid shots of him looking hot in the water. Stuff we could use to beef up his web presence. I had my camera. Thank God I didn’t drop it. Because I saw him just pick up this blonde with huge tits—she kept arching her back to put them closer to his face and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He laid her down right on the sand. I had to just run to my car before I puked or something. I felt like I was going to die! My stomach just turned inside out!”
Elise rubbed my back and didn’t say anything. She let me have my outburst and then cry and cry. I covered my face and sobbed. I heard her drag a chair over and sit on it, and then she went back to rubbing my back. I finally couldn’t squat down any longer, so I dropped onto my butt on the hard floor. I leaned my head up against her knee. Elise stroked my messy hair and shushed me.
After a while, I wiped my face. Elise pulled a tissue out of a pocket and gave it to me. I blew my nose.
“You’re a mom already,” I said with a watery laugh.
“Listen, I’ve been thinking about this. It’s got to be a mistake,” she said.
“You’re damn right it’s a mistake. I hung on too long and let him move on first. I never want to feel like that again, El. So useless and unwanted and just—I felt like trash.”
“You’re not trash,” she said sternly.
“I know that. But I felt like it just the same. I was something he threw out. Just like—I felt like my mom. I wondered over and over again, why can’t you just get one to stay? Why can’t you just stop arguing with him or stop asking him to do stuff and just let him be, so he’ll stay? When I was a kid, that was it. I thought she was such a loser because she kept nagging the boyfriends once they moved in. The new would wear off, they’d quit spoiling me and bringing her flowers and fixing shit. When they settled in, they’d be in front of the TV with a beer and fast food wrappers on the floor and my mom would come home and bitch at them. And I’d think, if you’d just be nice, he wouldn’t leave—" I broke off.
I was crying again. This was embarrassing. I was talking about heavy childhood crap. Elise knew most of it, but I felt ashamed that I’d blamed my mom for the loser guys who took advantage of her, and that part of me still did. That’s why I didn’t ask for anything, didn’t expect a man to help me at all. If he did, well, it was a good surprise, but I saw that as a one-time thing. Not as a partner who supported me. Elise had one of those, and watching her and Brendan together was like going to the goddamn zoo. They were different creatures from me. Nothing alike. Fair and lovely and adoring each other, not grouchy and defensive and angry and scared. Not afraid to admit they didn’t like being alone.
“I believed it. That’s my problem. I came back here and he had flowers in my cabin. He’d fixed it up and made, like, a home for me. I felt special. God, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid!” I sobbed. “I got to believing my life down here was going to be some kind of movie with a happy ending.”
“You’re in love with him,” she said gently.
“I am not!” I said hotly, whipping my hair out of my face and looking up at her. “I don’t love him. I just trusted him, which is the biggest mistake of all.”
“What I meant before that… spiral you went down, sweetie, was that there must be a misunderstanding. I was here the weeks you were gone. Mickey didn’t so much as glance at another girl. He waved away women who offered him their numbers and I know at least one tried to give him her hotel room number because Brendan chased her away and told her Tommy was single. Tommy didn’t appreciate that, and he turned her down, too.”
“So she struck out with a couple of O’Sheas. There’s plenty more where that came from. And I got trashed by the first one I met. I should have tried for Billy. He seems nice,” I said. “Or I should have, I don’t know, left them all the hell alone! I could have gone back to New York with a great tan, free as a bird, not tied down. But I let things go on too long with Mickey. I should have ended it,” I said, feeling sick, feeling miserable.
Elise tried to pat my shoulder, “He’s a good guy, Karin. I know it. You know it. You wouldn’t have let your guard slip even a centimeter if he wasn’t. He’s not the villain. I’d bet on it. I’m sorry you saw what you saw. I’m not doubting you. I’m saying there’s got to be more to this story. Because—and you can blame Baby Karin Junior for my intuition—as a pregnant woman, my instincts tell me he would cut off his arm before he’d cheat on you.”
“We weren’t together. It’s not cheating. He told me last night. I drove him home from the pub because he was wasted. He wanted me to go in his cabin, and I said no because he was drunk and he broke up with me.”
“What did he say?”
“He said we weren’t a good idea,” I repeated, barely choking out the words.
“So he was too drunk to drive, but even that doesn’t sound like him. He’s not much of a drinker, but he drank too much, acted obnoxious, and bitched at you for not having sex with him while he was incapacitated. I’m sure that offended his manhood or some crap like that, since you didn’t go in and worship his whiskey dick. He probably couldn’t even get it up, Karin. Be realistic. He felt insulted or rejected or something and talked some shit and now you think he broke up with you?”
“I went to his place with coffee early this morning to try and see if we could make up. He wasn’t even there. He was probably hooking up with this blonde while I made him coffee like an idiot,” I said.
“Listen to me. I’m never wrong; isn’t that what you always tease me about?”
I nodded.
“I’m right about this. Let me call him myself, right now, and put him on speaker. I won’t tell him you’re here with me. I’m going to ask him what’s up, act like I have a problem here that I need help with. We’ll see what he says.”
“No. I don’t—it’s bad enough I’m having high school style boyfriend drama. I don’t want you put in the middle of it. You’re marrying his brother. That’s got to be stressful for you. And he doesn’t have to answer to me. I love you for being so supportive. But I’m just going to try to put it behind me. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
“You just need to talk to him,” Elise insisted.
I shook my head, “You are the best. You really are. I don’t deserve you. Neither does Brendan, and you can tell him I said so. I’m not even saying you’re wrong about the situation. I’m just now realizing that I was in too deep with him. I let this get out of hand. I got hurt, and I shouldn’t have given him the power to hurt me like that. I don’t want anymore drama, especially not with you and the baby. So I’m done being sad and angry. I’m going to be fine and so is he. I’m not throwing a wrench in your wedding by freaking out about being around the best man. I’m not going to stand around and cry in my champagne over him. I promise,” I said with a forced smile.
“Karin, you have to give him a chance to explain,” she
insisted.
“I’m not saying I’ll never speak to him again. I’ve just seen the light. That’s all. I tried to make it more than it was, and I got burned. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. I’m not giving him the cold shoulder or avoiding him or anything. I swear. I’m definitely looking for an apartment as soon as I can, but I’m not sneaking out of the cabin to avoid seeing him ever again. Don’t stress yourself. I’m fine. And this is your family we’re talking about, sweetie. I’m not going to rock the boat for you.”
“You’re my family too,” she said. I hugged her.
“That’s right. We’re family. Forever. So you can trust that I won’t burn bridges with people you love. I swear.”
“I do trust you, Karin,” she said. “I always have. I just want more for you than you think you deserve,” she sniffed.
“Ugh, the crying. I know, I know, I started it,” I said, “now let me get to work. Go eat a candy bar. The baby wants chocolate.”
“The baby needs more fruit. The baby is constipating me.”
“Well. Try tacos. Those go right through me.”
“Ha ha. Trust me, you don’t want tacos with these hemorrhoids.”
“Oh. Well. Thanks for that image. Maybe I should call my mom and apologize for the bowel problems I gave her decades ago,” I grimaced.
“Put that on your list of things to do.”
Chapter 11
Mickey
Karin had turned and walked away from me. All I wanted was to go after her. Every instinct in my body urged me to follow Karin, but my Navy medic training was deeply ingrained. I could not leave an injured person until they were safe and stable. And this meant staying with Kynzee while Karin left.
I loaded Kynzee into my Jeep and told the other women to follow me to the hospital. She needed medical attention. I had bound her foot to stop the bleeding, but it was a jagged cut and would require stitches. I took her to the emergency department and helped them check in. I wanted so much to leave them there. They had each other and a vehicle, but it would have been ungentlemanly to dump them and run off. And it would have been completely unbecoming of a businessman. So I stayed. I even went into the exam cubicle with Kynzee and one of the girls, who turned out to be Kynzee’s sister Kaylee.
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