“Why’d you ditch the waterbed? That thing was a classic,” he asked me when we had what felt like eleven-thousand bits of wood and screws and bolts strewn on the floor.
I sat quietly for a few minutes, thinking about making a bad joke, but instead I went for honesty.
“Too many memories,” I said quietly.
“We only spent one night in it,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but what a night. I just needed a fresh start.”
“Jesus Karin, was I really that bad to be with?” he asked, sounding hurt.
“No. It’s just, things between us were already so heavy and…” I trailed off.
“And what?” he prompted.
“I was a stranger, Mick,” I pointed out as I counted bolts and put them in a pile.
“You were never a stranger to me,” he said, covering my hand with his. “From the minute I saw you, there was a spark.”
“I never said we didn’t have chemistry,” I told him.
“A spark of recognition. You were there for me. And you may have thought you came with Elise because Brendan invited her, but the reason we were there that night was to meet each other. Do you remember sitting on my lap?”
“Yeah. It was way too easy. I didn’t feel awkward at all,” I admitted. “That was always the weirdest thing. How we just hit it off, how everything from the joking around to the sex came so easily. Did you think that was strange?”
“It was different from any other relationship that I’d ever been in. It was intense, and you were just here for a vacation at the time. So what I couldn’t get my mind around was how could it be so natural if it was supposed to end so soon?” he said.
I cleared my throat. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk. This will go faster.”
He had spent the night on my couch. I had slept on the bed he’d built, on the mattress he’d stripped the plastic off of for me. I crept past him into the kitchen to get a glass of water in the middle of the sleepless night and he’d sat up instantly.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m just thirsty. You want anything?”
“Got any OJ?” he asked.
I got us each a glass of juice. He scooted over on the sofa and I sat beside him. He clinked his glass against mine, “To insomnia,” he said ruefully.
“I like you, Mickey,” I had said, “there never was a time when I didn’t. That’s the problem, or most of it. I like you too much for my own good.”
I had no idea why I was telling him that. Maybe it was sitting in the dark, his thigh warm against mine on the couch, drinking juice together. Him keeping watch over me. The intimacy of it all.
“I’m glad to hear you like me.”
“That’s it? You’re not even gonna say you like me, too, just to be a nice guy?” I said, faking indignation.
“Don’t be stupid, Karin. You and I both know me liking you was never an issue.”
I shut up then because I knew he was right. I had downed my juice and put the glass in the sink and told him good night.
As I tried to walk past, he reached out and snagged my wrist, giving it a gentle tug.
I sat back down beside him, seemingly helpless to refuse him. If he put his hands on me, I’d say yes. Instead, he slung an arm around my shoulders bracingly. Then he leaned in to whisper to me.
“I got you. Go get some sleep. I’m right here if you need me.”
“Don’t tell me that, Mick. Please,” I said, my voice rough around the edges.
“You know I’m here for whatever you need,” he said again, his voice low and dirty.
I swallowed hard and got up and went to bed. Every night was pretty much like that, five in a row. The guys from the photographs hadn’t made any more appearances. I always had Billy or Tommy nearby during the day and Mickey at night. He even helped me look at wedding shit, boutonnieres and fonts for the invitations and stuff. I got to like having him there way too much, knowing I had him to come home to.
At work, everything was zooming along. Campaigns were coming together, and I had gotten Elise to settle on goldenrod yellow for a wedding color, which meant, unfortunately, that my dress would be bright yellow. Still, she wanted a tropical style and color scheme, and that meant I could go ahead on flowers and cake and stuff. Table linens, God, there had to be table linens.
“So, are we still going to do clear glass cube vases with local tropical flowers in shades ranging gold to crimson?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Short dress for me or long?”
“Short. Or long. What do you prefer?”
“Short. I have nice legs. Hair up or down?”
“You or me?”
“Either?” I said, looking at my list.
“I want mine down. You can do whatever you want with yours. Except dye it in all colors of the rainbow.”
“Damn. There goes my plan. I need something that won’t clash with that damn yellow dress. I thought rainbow was the answer. I’m going to look like a giant rubber duckie,” I teased.
“Do you really not like the yellow?” she asked. I could feel her starting to be indecisive again, so I jumped all over it.
“No. Love it. Yellow’s great. Please don’t change your mind.”
“Okay, fine. So, are you back with Mickey yet?”
“Nope. Still just friends. Despite the ongoing efforts of the matchmaking O’Shea’s,” I sighed, tensing up.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time together lately,” Elise said.
“He helped me put my bed together the other night. He didn’t get to try it out. Besides, we’re friends. We joke around. It’s nice. Kind of sad, really, but nice. And nothing more,” I said. My voice lacked conviction and I knew it.
On my way home from work, I spotted a white truck following me. It wasn’t an O’Shea vehicle like I’d thought at first. I took a few extra turns, wove in and out of traffic to see if I could lose it. The truck stayed right on my tail. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to go home and get out of the car and get jumped or snatched. My heart pounded, my mouth went dry. I was sweating despite blasting the air conditioning in my face.
I dialed Mickey’s number and put him on speaker.
“Are you okay?” he barked.
“I’ve got company.”
“What do you mean?” his voice was hard.
“Since I left work, there’s this truck following me. I tried to lose him, but I can’t.”
“Where are you? Send me your location.”
I pinged him, and he said, “Okay, you’re close to White Dunes Beach Club hotel. Pull in there, right up to the fire lane and go in the lobby and wait for me. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Okay, I will,” I said.
“Hang a left at the next light. Big, pretty stucco building with palm trees lining the drive. I’m coming for you,” he said.
I nodded and let him hang up. I couldn’t bring myself to press the red button and cut him off myself. I followed his directions, keeping a nervous eye on the rearview mirror. I swung the car into the lot at the last minute without signaling, knowing they’d have to brake and back up or else turn around to pursue me. I parked, grabbed my purse and ran inside. I went straight to the front desk and told them I needed to wait there.
“I see. You must be Karin. Mr. O’Shea just called and asked that we make you comfortable. If you wouldn’t mind stepping to the concierge desk, I believe Rodrigo has a drink for you,” the registration clerk said. I nodded, so grateful. I was in a big, bright room surrounded by people Mickey had told to look after me while he was on his way.
Within minutes, he walked in. As soon as I saw that familiar shape, those broad shoulders and the set of his jaw, I bolted out of my chair and crossed the room to him as fast as I could without actually breaking into a run. He caught me in his arms.
Chapter 19
Mickey
I’d be lying if I said that seeing her barreling toward me and straight into my arms didn’t make me happy. I�
��d been frantically trying to reach her when she called me. Tommy had gotten a hold of me because he watched the girls and stayed behind, waiting for Elise to leave work. Karin had gone first, and Elise had noticed him hanging around outside playing on his phone. He didn’t want to tip her off about guarding Karin and her, so he had to make up some bullshit excuse about wanting her help picking out something special for Brendan for his wedding gift from all of us. Long story short, Karin gave him the slip, and now we all had to go in fifty bucks on some stupid watch for Brendan.
When she told me she was being followed, that just proved to me that I needed to keep her close. So when I reached the beach club, and she came to me, I gave her only the quickest hug before ushering her out. I led her out of the lobby and straight to my waiting car.
“One of my brothers will come to get your car later. Don’t worry about it. You’re not leaving my side,” I said.
She kept looking at me, chewing her lip, seeming so pale, looking so young all of a sudden. I took her home and I checked out her place to make sure it was empty and secure. When I was satisfied that it was okay, I told her she was safe and that I was going to call Herrera to get an update and that I’d be back.
Karin didn’t say anything, but she swayed toward me a little. She didn’t even take so much as a single step in my direction, but her body canted to mine. I felt the pull of her wanting me to stay. So I stepped closer to her instead of going to my place like I intended.
“You want me to hang out here?” I asked.
She nodded. She was never, ever this quiet. Karin was all smart mouth and sexy banter. She wasn’t pale under her tan and uneasy. I squeezed her shoulder and then dialed the cops to tell Herrera about her being followed.
“Hey, I’m glad you called in. I was going to have the desk sergeant update you in the morning, but I might as well tell you now. The guy in the pictures that we ID’d to bring in for questioning has gone off the radar.”
“Do you think he left town?” I asked.
“Or someone disappeared him,” Herrera said grimly, “so there’s no bringing him in as a witness.”
I got a sinking feeling, but I couldn’t let on in front of Karin. So I thanked the captain for his time and hung up. Karin was holding on to my sleeve, her brow furrowed, looking worried.
“Hey, they’re still working the case. No big news unfortunately. They’re still trying to find the other guy in the pictures. He’s probably hiding out to avoid questioning. You’re safe now, and you need to get some rest.” I said.
“Can I stay at your place tonight?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” I said, and took her around to get her things.
She stuffed her things in a bag and locked up quicker than I expected she could. I took her bag and shouldered it.
“That’s what I’ve been wanting from the start. Take you to my place. Make you soup. Tuck you in.”
“I don’t have the flu,” she said.
“I know that.”
“So there are other things you could do to comfort me. If you want to be that guy.”
“What guy?”
“The one who takes care of me,” she said.
“You don’t have to ask that. You know I do. And it’s not that I want to be that guy. I am that guy.”
“Yeah, you are,” she said.
There was a little something like regret in her voice. I fixed her with my eyes then, willing her to say more, wanting her to say, I just wish I’d seen that sooner or I made a mistake. I would have her back in a second, my pride be damned. The tension between us in that instant was a taut, vibrating line shivering, stretching until I was breathless. Say it, I thought. Say it.
Karin broke eye contact. Just like that. It felt like the quivering link between us, the mix of yearning and sexual tension and all that had gone wrong went slack. She followed me into my cabin. I set her bag on the couch and rubbed a hand over my hair.
“Soup?” I said, half-joking.
“No, I’m okay. I just—I appreciate you letting me stay here. I’ll try not to be in the way. Just show me where to plug in my charger,” she said.
“You’re not in my way,” I said.
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to look after me. I got myself into this mess. In fact, I got all of us into this mess.”
“It was an accident,” I said.
“I’ve made so many mistakes, Mick,” she replied, her eyes shining, “and I’m scared. Having this threat hanging over me, hanging over Elise, and all of you. It’s really shown me what’s important to me.”
“And what’s that?” I asked. I spread my hands and leaned them on the back of the sofa. The couch was between us, the only thing separating me from the quiver of her bottom lip.
“The people that matter to me. Elise and her baby. And you. Especially you,” she choked out. She put a hand over her mouth, shut her eyes. I saw tears tracing down her cheeks, saw the slight tremor in her stubborn shoulders as she cried.
“Come here,” I said. She nodded.
Karin climbed onto the couch on her knees and leaned over the back cushions to put her arms around my neck. I hugged her fiercely, my arms going around her back. I tugged her upward, and she climbed over the back of the couch, wrapping her legs around me. I slid one arm under her hips and held her. It was honestly like a dream come true. The woman who wanted her own two feet on the ground and didn’t really trust anyone but herself had climbed into my arms without hesitation and let me take her weight and hold her up.
“Oh my God, there you are,” I said as if she’d been gone for years, as if pulling her into my chest and holding her there was like coming home after decades apart.
I nudged her cheek with my chin and she turned her head. My lips met hers and I opened them, worked my tongue into her mouth. It felt incredible, the heft of her in my arms and the slide of my tongue along her own, the lush kisses and the urgency between us.
Chapter 20
Karin
This was what I’d been missing. This connection, this fire, the way that distraction didn’t begin to describe it. I knew I needed to be distracted from the danger, and I had intended to tell him so. I had meant to walk into his cabin and ask him if he’d be willing to go to bed with me, just for tonight, just to keep the fear at bay. But I was swamped with this feeling, this sense that he was so important and crucial to me, that instead of asking him for comfort, I offered him myself. Because deep down I knew it would have been more than comfort anyway, and what I felt for him was more than just attraction mixed with a dangerous situation.
When I jumped in his arms, for that moment, I was all in. Whatever second thoughts I might have later could go to hell. I knew this man inside and out, and I knew I needed him. I might not get to keep him, but I had to admit this at least to myself. I was in love with him. I could deny it to him, to Elise, to anyone else, but I was done lying to myself. So I’d indulge just for one night and let myself show him what I couldn’t say out loud.
With my arms and legs wound around him, I felt so secure, safe even from the forces of gravity. When his mouth found mine, a shudder tore through me. It was a seismic shift, everything in my body and soul being set right with the force of that one caress. My lips parted under his, and I reveled in the slide of his tongue into my mouth.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered into his mouth, “don’t ever stop.”
“I’ve got you, baby,” he said, his voice almost a growl as he devoured my mouth. “I’m right here.”
He carried me into his room, taking long strides as if bearing my weight was effortless for him. He didn’t drop me on the bed like I expected. Instead, he set me on top of the dresser so I was up a little higher than him. I loved bending forward and wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. But he stopped me, pressed me back like I was on display there for him, his feast. He started on my clothes. He nipped at my neck as he pushed down the straps of my tank top and dragged it down. My breasts were in his rough palms, my lip
s tasting the salty skin of his jaw. The way he fondled my nipples and caressed my breasts just made every inch of my skin come alive.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing my collarbone. “I’ve missed you so much.” Even as he stroked my breasts and sucked my neck, I dug my fingers into his shoulders, rocked by his statement. How could he have possibly missed me the way I missed him? The intensity of this, the longing and sadness of our time apart just heightened every sensation, put bittersweet tears in my throat as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hand was firm in the small of my back as he moved down to suck my nipple. I arched into him by instinct, giving him more of me, wanting him to take everything he wanted just so I could feel close to him again. Mickey kissed between my breasts and I clasped his head there, embracing him. I loved him. Even if the words were sealed inside me, I loved him.
Mickey dipped his head and slid out of my arms. His head cocked to one side, a softness in his eyes. “You know how I feel about you, don’t you?” he asked.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t let him say it. I wanted this one night with him, one night to block out the danger and every mistake I’d made. I didn’t want him making this serious, making me confess how I felt.
“Please don’t do this,” I said. “Please. Let me have tonight. Don’t make any promises and don’t ask me for any in return. I know I’ve hurt you. I hurt us both. I can never be sorry enough for that. But I’m begging you, don’t say something you’ll wish you could take back.”
“Why would I ever take it back?” he asked, brushing fingers along my cheek. A tear slipped out the corner of my eye, my throat feeling tight and my head throbbing with the effort of holding back all but that one tear. His thumb brushed it away.
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