Dandyland Diaries

by D. M. Dewey

  “Get on that table, slut,” I commanded. We all know by now that I loved a good slut on my table. It was my favorite. It was my time to play doctor.

  I tied him down on his back, his hands stretched above his head and his legs stretched uncomfortably apart. He was all mine now. The weight around his balls was tight, but I would like it tighter. I took it off and wrapped a single rope in a coil around his balls. They were stretched as far as I could take them. Then I put the weight back on.

  “That feels so good, Goddess.” He moaned.

  “Does this feel good too?” I asked as I hit him hard in the nuts.

  He groaned. “Yes, Goddess.”

  I smiled down at him. I got out a penis pump. I put it around his dick and started to suction out the air inside, causing him to swell beyond normal.

  “What is that, Goddess?” he asked. “It feels so strange, like my dick is going to explode.” He strained to look at what had a hold of him.

  “Just a pump to plump up your clit,” I answered him. I hit the pump, causing his prick to jump around, and then I gave the pump another squeeze. His penis swelled in the cylinder.

  He groaned again.

  I decided to take it up a notch and I put a few clothespins on his already purple balls.

  I ordered him to count as I put them on him.

  “One!” He winced as I attached one.

  “Two!” He breathed through the pain as I clipped on one more.

  “Three, Goddess!” His eyes were shut tight so he could focus.

  After I had about twelve placed in a pretty design on his sack, the real pain began. Did you know that clothespins hurt even more when taken off? I did.

  “Goddamn it, that hurts, Goddess!” he said. He was trying not to shake.

  “There, slut,” I said smoothly. “All better now.” I let out the pressure of the pump with a hiss.

  “That feels so intense, Goddess,” he said with relief.

  I begin to stroke his harder and now bigger cock, but every once in a while, I would slap his balls for good measure. He was so yummy to me at this point that I reached for a condom, and with a flick of my wrist, it was on him. I crawled on top of him, smelling him, licking him like I was deciding whether or not to eat him. I lowered myself down on him, slowly, until he was deep inside of me. I sat there for a minute, staring into his eyes. His expression was one of complete submission. I didn’t dare move a muscle.

  “I want to touch you, Goddess,” he whispered.

  “You can’t. I don’t let loser sluts like you touch me,” I whispered in his ear. “Tell me what a slut you are.”

  “I am your slut, Goddess.” He tried to move his hips around to move inside me.

  “Be still, loser. Shhhh.” I taunted him by moving an inch.

  “God, you are killing me, Goddess.” He begged, “Please.”

  I got up off of him completely. I took off the condom and slapped his dick. “I don’t fuck sluts, loser.” I laughed. He tried to cover himself, but his legs were too spread apart to do any good.

  I started to rub him again with lube from a nearby bottle. Then I hit him. The mixture of pleasure and pain was really building his excitement. He licked his lips over and over again. I took my crop and delivered short, powerful blows to his balls. He gasped. I hit some more.

  I bent over him, daring him to ask me for a release. He didn’t. He kept licking his lips over and over. I knew that he was close. I put my sharp heel on his chest as I bent over and touched his cock with my lips.

  “Uh-uh-uh…. little subbie slut,” I taunted. “No cock sucking for you.” I took my mouth away and started pumping his dick again.

  “Please, Goddess.” He begged, “May I cum?”

  I laughed at him, released my grip, and told him, “No!”

  I got up, untied him and sat on the couch. Playtime was over… for now.

  “I needed this so much, Goddess,” he said as he sat up, looking alert and happy.

  I looked at him and smiled. “What’s been going on with you? Are you usually this flaky?” I asked. I was referring to him having disappeared for those couple of months without a trace.

  He knew exactly was I was talking about. “I can be, Goddess,” he said. “I have been going through a lot of stuff and sometimes I just drop out for a while. I dropped out from my friends, too. Nobody heard from me. It wasn’t just you.”

  “Well, okay. I’m not sure what that’s all about, but I suppose it is none of my business,” I said. I really wanted to push it and find out what the hell had happened, but I could tell it wasn’t the time.

  “I seriously feel like I’ve just had the most amazing workout.” Gavin beamed. “Sometimes this is so much better than any therapy I could have.” He sat on the table, naked, his penis now somewhat flaccid.

  “You can just sit there naked.” I laughed.

  “Lucky for you I love being naked.” He laughed as well.

  I remembered something. I reached over and got out a box from my toy chest. I handed it to him.

  “Look what I got you, slut,” I said.

  He opened up the box and inside was a brand new chastity device.

  “Do you want to wear it?” I asked.

  “Do you want me to wear it?”

  “Definitely!” I replied. “Put it on!”

  The next hour was a hilarious struggle to put this plastic cage on his penis. We couldn’t figure out how it went on. It was like a Mensa puzzle. There were many interlocking various-sized pieces that we couldn’t decipher how to put together. We even went on YouTube to see if there were any instructional videos for it. When we would get close to getting it on, he would get semi-hard and the whole thing would bust apart.

  Finally, we got it together and he was in and I had the key on my keychain. We decided to go out for dinner and take it for a test drive. He was very polite about opening doors and pulling chairs out for me, which I thought was sweet but didn’t dare show it because that was to be expected when a sub is with his Dominant. When he excused himself for the loo, I couldn't help but giggle knowing that was going to be a hard feat. He came back looking a little sheepish. I was right. It was hard.

  We had a delicious dinner and chatted comfortably together. I asked him in a raised voice if he liked being my locked-up bitch boy. He shook his head yes.

  “Does it turn you on to know that you have total control over my clit?” he asked.

  “Completely!” I said, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

  He squirmed in his chair a bit. “It’s getting a little tight, Goddess.”

  “Aw, that’s too bad," I taunted him. “Are you getting a little excited over there thinking about being my bitch?”

  “A little bit, yes.” He winked. “You should have stayed on me just a little longer.” I knew he meant when I was straddling his cock.

  We finished our meals and hurried back to my apartment. He asked if he could walk in the front door with me. I thought about it and said he could.

  When the door closed, I barked, “Strip!”

  He quickly obeyed and we saw that we had done a terrible job of putting the device on him. It had slid nearly off and was just dangling there uselessly. I got the key and released him.

  “Thank you, Goddess,” he said.

  I told him to go sit back down on the table. He immediately did so. I loved how he could be totally my equal in one moment and drop to my feet in another. I could tell by the expression in his eyes that it was true submission too. He truly meant it.

  That night, he stayed over. I used him in every way that I knew. He told me how he was my slut and my slut only. We went to sleep exhausted, and he went to sleep extremely unsatisfied, but that for him was satisfying. While he slept, Gavin kept murmuring, “Yes, Goddess.” I liked that very much.

  The next day I got messages from him saying how much he liked being with me in “that” way and that it was very special for him. He said that he knew he couldn’t ask me to be faithful to him but that he
wanted to be mine. Again… Pants… Soaking.

  He came back the next week and we played together for a couple of hours. While we were relaxing between scenes, I asked him about what the family tragedy was. I just couldn’t let that go.

  He finally gave it up. He started reluctantly telling me about his ex-girlfriend. He prefaced the story by telling me how he and his girlfriend had fallen madly in love. It was a sweet story. He was young and I am sure this was his first experience with love, and like most young love, it faded.

  He told me about how they had split but remained close friends, teetering between being on and off again lovers. He told me how one night he was supposed to go out with his friends to a concert near where his girlfriend lived. She had come home from a deep tissue massage not feeling very well. She had been having severe neck pains for several days and thought the massage would help. Gavin had offered to stay with her, but she declined the offer, telling him he should go have fun. So he went, but something told him that he should turn around and go back to her once he got to his friend’s house. He said it was a very odd feeling. So he begged off from the concert and his night out and returned home.

  He immediately became suspicious upon driving up to his house. The lights were all on where normally she was an energy stickler and always made sure everything was turned off before she went to bed. It was very late and there was no way she would have still been up.

  Gavin got out of the car and walked up the steps to her front door. The door’s lock had been jimmied and the door was ajar. He entered the front hallway cautiously and called out to his girlfriend, “Baby!” No answer.

  He stepped further into the house. “Baby!” he called again.

  He heard a moan in the bathroom so he rushed to the half closed door and looked inside to find his girlfriend severely beaten and stabbed. He saw one wound that scared him the most and it was right across the center of her back. She was able to moan so at least he knew she was alive, but she had lost a ridiculous amount of blood.

  Gavin grabbed his phone and called 911. He remained calm as he called in the assault. He held her hand and told her to keep looking at him. He wanted her to focus on his eyes to keep her from going unconscious and keeping her chances of survival higher. He knew if she slipped away now, he would loose her forever. He managed to apply enough pressure on the wound to her back to slow the bleeding down.

  The paramedics arrive in record time thankfully. They did what they could for her right then and there but Gavin was a trained Paramedic and he knew how grim the prognosis could be. He had seen this before and the patient hadn’t lived. He wanted to go with her in the ambulance but the police needed to take his statement. No matter how much he begged to do it at a later time, the police would not oblige.

  By the time he was able to get to the hospital, his girlfriend had been rushed in to the O.R. The nurse at the desk didn’t have much she could tell him since he was neither her parent nor her husband. He felt helpless. He had left her. A simple breaking and entering had gone wrong and his girlfriend might now die. Finally, what felt like a million hours later she was wheeled into the I.C.U. and a doctor came to update Gavin and her now gathered family.

  Her condition was not expected to improve. The doctor said that her spine had been nicked and the chances of recovering from that type of injury were nearly impossible. He apologized and said he wished he had better news but the best they could hope for would be minimal movement from the head down. She would most likely never walk again.

  Gavin was devastated and felt completely responsible. He had left her. He knew something didn’t feel right but he had left her anyway. Now some asshole had ruined her life all for the sake of a television, the only thing missing from her house.

  When she regained consciousness, it was as feared. She was completely paralyzed. The only motion she could manage was slight eye movement and blinking.

  Gavin stayed with her morning, noon, and night every day for a week. He was able to communicate with her through the alphabet and her blinking. The doctors went to her and told her that she should let them pull the plug because there was no chance of her recovering. Gavin wouldn’t let them. Her parents had given the doctors permission to pull the plug even, but Gavin fought them, saying that she was still in there and that he could still communicate with her. She had said to him, “I don’t want to die.”

  A hearing was set to determine if she would be allowed to live. She had requested Gavin’s presence at the hearing and she didn’t want her parents there. The hospital granted her wish. Gavin was able to argue that she was still a viable person inside her broken body and stated that he believed she was getting better.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was studying Gavin’s face and you could see how pained he was reliving this horrible event. He told me that he believed in God and the power of prayer. He said that he had formed a prayer chain that was spanned across the globe. I was so impressed. I have no faith like that. I am always amazed at people who do.

  He said that he was there every day for a year for her.

  “Is she okay, Gavin?” I asked. I felt like I was going to cry.

  “She now walks seven miles a day.” He nearly started crying himself. I nearly cheered out loud. You could see how much relief and love washed over him. You could feel the pressure that he’d had on him. He was young. People his age shouldn’t have to go through something this serious.

  Gavin still looked sad. “After all of that time that I sat there for her hoping she would get better, praying that she would walk again, I couldn’t see her in a sexual way,” he said. “We moved in together and I tried to love her like that, but I couldn’t. We went to therapy. I tried everything. I felt like dying. I felt such huge amounts of guilt.”

  I reached for his hand as he tried to compose himself. I could tell it was as if he were right back in that moment. He continued. “She couldn’t understand what was wrong. She told me the only reason she lived was because she knew she had me waiting for her. When I had contacted you a few months ago, this was what I was going through.”

  “Jesus, Gavin," I said. “I am so deeply impressed by you right now. I’m so honored that you trusted me with that story, and I am so sorry you went through everything you described, but you know deep down it isn’t your fault, right?”

  I really had no idea what to say to him. I wanted him to feel safe. I wanted him to know that he was good. I wanted him to know that I had heard every word he had said.

  “So, you can see why I’ve been a little stressed out lately.” He laughed. What else could he do?

  “I dreamed I was choking on Your high heels, Goddess... but You didn't care.”

  —slave

  Chapter 12

  Gavin and I saw each other quite a few times after that and stayed in close touch via text and Skype. I felt very comfortable with him and found myself letting down a little bit of my personal guard.

  Then he disappeared for a few days. It was odd. He hadn’t done that since we’d actually met in person. I was confused by it, but reminded myself that he was just a sub and nothing more. I could get mad, because I owned him, but I could not be hurt.

  So when I did hear from him, I was icy. What do you want, slut? I wrote. I wanted to remind him that he was just a dick to me, and to be honest, I wanted to remind myself of that as well.

  I’m sorry, Goddess, he texted me back.

  I was walking Charlie around my neighborhood with my neighbor at the time. She and her husband were a good support to me and helped with Charlie when I was away on jobs or not able to get home in time to let him out. They both knew about my recent lifestyle change and eagerly looked forward to new stories over dinners.

  I ignored his text and continued my talk with my friend.

  He texted again. I did something bad, Goddess. Please don’t be mad.

  Okay, I couldn’t ignore that.

  What did you do, loser? I was ready for the worst.

  I was with f
riends this weekend and forgot to take my phone charger. I’m sorry I was out of touch for a couple of days. Goddess, I fucked a slut. I’m sorry, but I hate not being honest about stuff so I thought it would be better to tell you than to not say anything.

  My unreasonable heart sank. I was crushed. I’d thought our connection was pretty intense. I guess I’d been wrong. I didn’t say anything for a while. I tried to concentrate on the conversation my neighbor was trying to have with me. I felt bad because I knew I wasn’t being very good company.

  I wrote, I guess that is that, then. Take care. I didn’t think that was too emotional of a response. I was still in control of how this would play out. I didn’t want to have any drama in my life and I didn’t need someone making me feel worse about myself than I already naturally did.

  All I was trying to do was be honest with you, Gavin texted. I guess this is one time honesty doesn’t pay off. Take care too.

  Damn it! He’d called my bluff! I didn’t REALLY want him to piss off. I just wanted him to THINK I wanted him to. Now what? I was completely ignoring my neighbor who was chatting happily on about her job. I was an awful person.

  Slut, you’ve hurt my feelings, I wrote. I decided to fall on the sword. I thought you wanted to be mine.

  I do! I am your slut! But sometimes I get this Alpha urge. This girl was being a real cunt to my friends and I wanted to teach her a lesson. I won’t ever see her again. I don’t even have her number, he wrote back.

  Whoa… ew. I was horrified and turned on at the same time. I loved that he stood up for his friends, but I hated that he felt fucking this girl was the way to punish her. Who was I to judge, though? I whipped men’s nuts! In all honesty, he was probably just trying to make up an excuse for why he wanted to get laid that night, and I could understand that.

  All I wrote back was, Okay.

  He followed up several times, assuring me that it wouldn’t happen again. I didn’t believe him, but at least I knew whom I was dealing with. I also now knew he was really going to pay when I saw him next. I told him as much and he said, I know, Goddess.