by Guy Rosmarin
“So that’s what got you into this…that stupid photo!”
“To be perfectly honest, that photo did get my attention, and it put some goosebumps on my skin when I took the time to think about it.”
“How is everything?” The waitress interrupted.
Andy nodded.
“Excellent,” Nate raised an agitated brow. “In fact,” he pointed at his empty mug, “I think I’ll have another one.”
“Another espresso for you?”
Andy glanced at his wristwatch. “That’s a tough call.”
“You’re not gonna let me drink solo, are you?” Nate said.
“I may as well,” Andy turned in his espresso cup. “Make it a single, though.”
“Where was I? Ah yeah, what I’m trying to say is I believe that you’re going through a very unusual experience.”
“Thanks for the reassurance.”
“But before you’re ready to institutionalize yourself, let me at least try to help you.”
“So, you’re volunteering to be my therapist now? Isn’t there an ethical code that prohibits having your best friend as a patient?”
“I’m not going to be your therapist. I know too much about you to qualify for the position. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think you need therapy.”
“So, what is it that you think I need, doc?”
“I think you need a friend to help you figure out what’s going on in your head and outside of it, and I know I am perfect for the job.”
“And how do you intend to do that?”
“For starters, we can get together and talk more frequently.”
“Sounds like a great idea, if we could make it work”
“Hey, if you’ll find a way to make time for this, I assure you I’ll give my best effort to do the same.”
Andy nodded, partly admiring his friend’s good intention and partly mocking it. “That old photo must have been very revealing on the second night of Passover.”
“You bet it was. This could be a great case study.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know I need to submit a scientific paper to the community once in a blue moon, so here’s my chance to actually write about something interesting.”
“Now it all makes sense. You want to turn me into a lab rat. And I thought you were doing it out of true good will.”
“I am doing it for you. After all is said and done, you will be famous.”
“Gee, thanks pal, being a celebrity lab rat is all I wanted in life. Let’s be realistic though, even if I do find the time for more frequent meetings, where exactly are you planning to squeeze me in your schedule? Didn’t you say something about how maxed out you are with your workload that you can’t take any new patients, not to mention you have a wedding to plan.”
“You’re absolutely right, so let’s stop wasting our precious time talking about the how’s and where’s and talk more about your dream”
Andy smiled. “Oh yeah, that dream. What more can I tell you about it?”
“Let’s begin with how you managed to bring yourself to kill someone. An act of homicide can have profound emotional repercussions in a dream, especially when you have such a lucid recollection of it.”
“I told you, it was an accident. I never planned it.”
“But did you have any regrets?”
“I can’t say that I did, not consciously,” Andy paused to think about what he had just said. “Is that possible, to be conscious in a dream? Never mind. Anyway, everything happened so quickly, and it gave me an opportunity to escape, so I didn’t really have too much time to feel sorry for the guy. Besides, before I committed the crime, he was getting quite ‘crafty’ with his work on me, so…”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. He was practicing the art of torture, and I was his subject.”
“What did he do to you?”
“Well, let’s see…” Andy stretched his arms high above his shoulders and took a deep breath. “He spiked a hot iron rod straight through my hand and then,” he took another deep breath and slowly exhaled, “then he shot a bullet through my head.”
“Wow,” Nate slammed the palm of his hand on the table. “Now wait a minute. Did…did you survive this?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, I mean in your dream. You know people die in their dreams, only to wake up the next day alive and kicking.”
“Not me. Not in this dream.”
“Did you feel any pain?”
“There was no physical pain, but…”
“That’s odd. Didn’t you say that your senses were sharper the last time? I mean your brain can assimilate pain the same way it does clarity of the senses.”
“Look, I don’t know what rules apply here, if any. What I do know is that no matter what that butcher tried to do, he could not cause any physical harm to my body or inflict any pain. It seemed like my body wasn’t really there to be affected by his actions. When he impaled my hand, the rod went straight through as if I were made out of air.”
“Emm,” Nate nodded. “You said there was no physical pain, but did you feel any stress?”
“Are you kidding? I feel my heart’s about to explode in my chest just from talking about it now.”
“Did you feel the same in the dream?”
“Worse…ten times worse,” Andy wiped the sweat off his forehead with a napkin. “I can’t even put this into words. There was this hopelessness…like knowing that something very bad is going to happen to you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. No… it was worse than that, it felt like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears with such intensity, I thought they were going to bleed.” He caught his breath and sipped his espresso.
Nate let a moment of silence linger. “So how did you manage to escape?”
“How did I manage to escape?” Andy scratched the tip of his chin and gazed at the ceiling. “Well, that’s another mystery.”
“What happened?”
“This is what happened…after Satan’s little helper got a little frustrated with his ineffective torture and killing methods, he rushed over to the other side of the room. I remember thinking that I just had to do something to get myself out of that hopeless situation.”
“So, the fear was still there.”
“The fear never left. Despite my growing awareness of his inability to hurt me, I felt completely helpless, but there was more to it than just fear. It was…” he stopped.
“Anger?”
“Yeah. More like rage. I was furious mostly at myself for just sitting there and letting that monster do as he pleased”
“And?”
“Then something strange happened. The skull pin on his S.D. cap caught my attention. I stared at it, and all the thoughts and fears disappeared, just like that.” Andy snapped his fingers. “There was just the silver skull. And then everything happened so quickly, almost automatically, as if I had no control over my actions. My arms easily tore through the leather straps that tied me to the chair, and then I started gravitating towards that silver skull pin on the fucker’s cap. It was on the other side of the room, but my steps were very light. I felt like there was no resistance, no friction, and no gravity pulling me down. It was like I was gliding in air. And this is where it gets really weird. I noticed everything around me just froze.”
“Was it a state of mind or was it really happening?”
“It’s a dream. The words ‘state of mind’ are implied.”
“Don’t be a wise ass, you know what I mean.”
Andy smiled. “I grabbed Ziegler’s uniform, but when I turned to face the door, I caught a glimpse of this drop of fluid suspended in midair. Whatever poison he squirted out of the syringe he was holding.” He took a de
ep breath. “The second I noticed it, I slightly tapped him on the shoulder. I mean he was standing right there next to me when I turned,” his voice trembled, “but the motion was seamless, or so it seemed. And then…pow! Everything just ramped up back to normal speed in an instant, and that seamless tap sent my frozen torture specialist flying five feet in the air to crash into his bookcase.”
Andy looked around nervously, trying to catch his breath. “So that’s how you think you killed the guy?” Nate broke the silence.
“Ah…yeah.”
“Were you certain of that?”
“What? That I killed him? I didn’t go over to check his pulse, if that’s what you mean. I did what my instincts told me to do, and that was to get the hell out of there, but he looked pretty dead to me. His arms and legs were tangled up, there was a gash on his forehead…it was bloody.”
“Pretty gory, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he died.”
“Look, Nate, it was a dream!”
“What else could it be? You go to bed, you close, your eyes, you fall asleep, you start seeing things…”
“Exactly!”
Nate gazed at the fresh foam in his mug and then turned back to Andy. “There’s no doubt our main objective here is to find how that dream of yours is connected to reality, but until we are proven otherwise, we have to regard it as a dream.”
Andy nodded, this time, with more willingness to accept Nate’s prognosis. “Just a dream,” he forced a smile.
“Not just a dream, a very special dream. The way you describe it really does make it seem like a parallel reality.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you…”
“But we know for a fact that the physical boundaries of the experience are set in your head.”
“Yeah, if you say so...”
“You go to bed, you fall asleep, you get there, then you wake up and you’re back in your bed. Nothing’s changed.”
“Sounds about right, but in between falling asleep and waking up I...”
“You’re inside your head. Your subconscious.”
“I guess I can’t argue with that.”
“Bear with me. I’m not pulling your chops here, just trying to establish a solid foundation.”
“No, no. Keep pouring that concrete.”
Nate smiled. “The extreme fear and anger you’ve mentioned.” Andy nodded. “There’s another sign.”
“Sign for what? That I’m a normal human being?”
“A dreaming human being. Amplified emotions are very common during dreams. There’s tons of evidence from sleep studies to support that.If fear and fury get your heart pumping, wait till a special someone comes along.” Andy nodded without saying a word. “What, am I missing something? A Czechoslovakian hottie you’re not telling me about?” Andy shook his head. “I can’t wait to look at the readouts from the electrode we stick in your head.”
“What about time bending? Any sleep studies done on that?”
“Not that I know of, but bear in mind that a dream landscape is a whole entire world that’s created in your brain and abides by rules defined by your subconscious. It may very well be possible the time bending you’re experiencing is in on that list of rules.”
“Nate,” Andy slightly raised his voice, “I know it’s hard to comprehend this but…” He paused for a short moment and tried to find the best way to put his thoughts into words. “Look, as far as my experience goes, I am clearly aware that I’ve entered a dream the moment I make the leap to the other side, but once I’m there, the dream turns into reality. I get so absorbed in the plot that I’m practically living it, and I don’t think of it as a dream until I wake up.”
“Just like when you wake up from a dream?”
“It’s more like watching an episode of an action-drama mini-series on TV every night, but instead of watching it, I’m in it, playing the lead role. Like you said, it’s an entire world with cities, roads, cars, people, and whatnot…I suppose my mind created it, but I’m not sure if my brain is big enough to account for all the details. This fabricated world looks exactly like this one did sixty years ago, and I live it and breathe in it like I do here and now. The only difference is my senses are a lot sharper, and my body is immune to pain and injury. As for that time-stretching sensation, it’s completely involuntary, so I don’t know if it could be legitimately regarded as a rule. It only happened twice, maybe three times when I was concentrating on something, but I had no control over it…it just happened. And then, just like that, things went back to normal without warning. If there’s a way that you think I can have control over this, then by all means, I’d like to hear about it.”
“Well, if it’s a matter of getting yourself to enhance your concentration skills, I suggest you take some yoga or meditation classes. I know someone who can probably get you started. As a matter of fact, you know her too.”
“Who?”
“You had a long and friendly conversation with her last weekend.”
“You mean Sarah?”
Nate nodded. “Maybe that will convince you to finally give her a call.”
“Maybe it will.”
“Another espresso?” The waitress approached the table unnoticed.
“Oh,” Andy flinched and glanced at his wristwatch. “Actually, I think we’re going to call it a night,” he said in an apologetic tone.
“Not a problem. I’ll be right back with your check.”
“What do you mean call it a night? What if I’m up for another cup of delicious cappuccino?”
“It’s almost nine,” Andy got up. “You can stay if you’d like, but I still have tons of work to do. Besides, another espresso and I can kiss my sleep goodbye.”
“Just when we were starting to get somewhere with this...”
“You know, it’s funny,” Andy said as he put on his jacket. “I came here today with the hope that you’d slap me in the face and make me put things in perspective, but now it seems like you are encouraging me to indulge in it.”
“Maybe that’s something you’re trying to tell yourself.”
“I thought we agreed not to turn this into therapy.”
“I’m sorry if this disappoints you, but what I’m trying to do here is get to the bottom of this unusual experience rather than labeling it as some psychotic condition. Believe me, it would be a lot easier for me to hook you up with a psychiatrist who would stuff you up with enough medication to make that dream disappear.”
“I was just kidding. The truth is I’m really glad you’re taking a serious approach to all of this and not thinking that your old pal has lost his marbles, but now, I really have to get going. There are consequences I should worry about if my work doesn’t get done tonight. Even more importantly,” he looked at Nate and smiled, “I can’t wait to get to bed.”
“Tired?”
“Not with this flowing in my veins.” Andy glanced at his empty espresso cup. “There’s some unfinished business I have to take care of back in Lala-land, and now that you‘ve convinced me that it’s perfectly legitimate, what can I say, I’m pretty anxious to get back there.” He winked and got up from his chair. “I gotta hit the head. Can you keep an eye on my briefcase?”
When Andy came back, there was no sign of the check and Nate’s face was buried in a copy of the Boston Globe.
“Hey man, this is not right. This one should be on me.”
“Too late, pal.” Nate said without raising his eyes from the newspaper. “Hey, isn’t that your block?”
“Don’t try to change the subject now!” Andy reached for his wallet.
“Seriously man. Have you been experiencing any blackouts in the last couple of days?”
“Not really. Why?”
“Isn’t that your building in the photo?”
Andy reluctantly turned his eyes to the paper.
“Yes, it is my building.”
“It says here that the entire block has been experiencing late-night power outages.”
“Let me see,” Andy leaned over the spread-out paper and skimmed through the report. “That explains the utility truck,” He mumbled.
“So, you know about this?”
“Not really. I didn’t lose power in my apartment, but I’ve seen the power company truck parked in my street. Yesterday, it blocked my way out of the lot and I was late for a departmental meeting.”
“That’s a first.”
“Tell me about it.” Andy reached for his wallet again.
“You’ll get it next time,” Nate folded his paper and rose to his feet.
Andy finally submitted, “At least let me drive you to your car. I’m parked right around the block.” Nate nodded.
“If this dream continues, I’d like to get you in a lab and monitor your gray box.” Nate said as they walked out of the café.
“Here we go, turning me into your lab rat again...”
“Calm down! All you’d have to do is get in the zone, fall asleep, and let me stick some electrodes in your temples. It’s not brain surgery.”
“That’ll be the next step, I presume?”
“We won’t be able to get to the bottom of this just by talking over espressos and cappuccinos. And you know what I really think?”
“What’s that?” Andy said. He opened the passenger door for Nate, and then walked around to the driver seat and switched on the ignition.
“I think we should start by getting you examined for mind-altering toxins. I wouldn’t be surprised if your German friend had a little something to do with it,” Nate said.
Andy shook his head. “I really don’t see why Karl would do something like that.”
“All it takes is one pinch. It’s not going to hurt anyone if you do that, and if we don’t find anything, it’ll just rule out that possibility”
“It’s seems like you’re taking it a bit too far, and to be honest, I don’t think I’m there yet.”
“You’re right. Maybe we ought to take it slow. Well, we’re on for next Tuesday, but if you’d like to get together sooner, give me a call.”