‘No way! What happened?’
As Tommy started to talk, Scratch was mentally making notes.
‘Robbie, this is Mummy’s friend, John,’ lied Donna Darling. She didn’t want to use Josh’s real name yet, in case Robbie dropped her in it. She could just imagine her dad and psycho brothers making numerous phone calls to track Josh down, then making him disappear off the face of the earth.
‘I like your car.’ Robbie pointed at the gleaming red Ferrari.
‘Thanks, Robbie, and it’s nice to finally meet you. Your mum’s told me lots about you.’
‘What football team do you support?’
‘West Ham.’
‘Boooo,’ Robbie chuckled. ‘They’re a rubbish team. Me and my dad support Millwall. They’re the best.’
Josh grinned. ‘Wanna see my garden? I got a big pool. Do you like swimming?’
‘Yeah, but can we go for a ride in your car first, please?’
Donna and Josh shared a smile. So far so good, both thought.
Tommy cracked open two cans and handed one to Scratch. The beach was busy, but not too crowded, like school holidays were. ‘The Who and the Kinks always remind me of Smiffy, ya know. He was old before his time. I bet now the Mods are back in fashion, Smiffy would’ve been one,’ Tommy said sadly.
‘Poor Smiffy. He was a good lad. Reminds me of Benny, this does. I haven’t heard it for ages.’ The song was George McCrae’s ‘Rock Your Baby’.
‘Didn’t you keep all your records then?’ Tommy asked, surprised.
‘Yes. They’re still at the couple’s house I used to work for. I must pick them up next time I visit,’ Scratch fibbed. ‘I can’t believe Benny’s in prison, can you? I wonder how he’s doing?’
Tommy shrugged. Dumbo had informed them that Benny had got a five stretch for drug dealing. ‘Benny’s a survivor. He’ll be all right.’
‘Your job sounds dangerous. Don’t you ever worry that you’ll end up in prison too?’
Tommy unbuttoned his short-sleeve shirt. ‘Yeah. I do, as it goes. Especially since Ronnie had his accident. He’s never been the full shilling since. Shame really. Before that fight, I used to look up to him. Now, I just see him as a liability.’
Scratch took a sip of lager. ‘What fight? And what exactly does a liability mean? You know I never went to school much.’
‘He got hurt in a boxing match years ago. I dunno. He cocks up a lot and the rest of us have to clear up his mess. I sometimes wish I had a normal job and lived by the sea. But I earn bloody good money, so I shouldn’t really complain.’
‘What’s stopping you? Money isn’t the be-all and end-all.’
‘You wouldn’t understand. But to put it bluntly, Jack or Ronnie would never let me walk away from the firm. I suppose I know too much.’
Scratch’s intense SO10 training had taught her never to overdo it with the questions for fear of raising suspicion. ‘Fancy an ice-cream?’ she asked, changing the subject, but knowing she was slowly but surely reeling Tommy in.
‘Robbie, time to get out of the pool, love. We need to go home soon,’ shouted Donna.
‘Why do we? Can’t we stay here a bit longer, Mum? Please,’ Robbie begged.
‘Another half an hour then.’
‘Watch my dive, John,’ Robbie yelled, performing yet another belly-flop.
Donna squeezed Josh’s hand. Today had been a brilliant success. Josh had cooked a lovely lunch and they’d eaten it on the terrace while sipping champagne. She could really get used to this lifestyle, which was why she’d come to an important decision. ‘I’m going to pack some things later. Then tomorrow morning, I shall speak to my father and tell him about us.’
‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘No! It’ll be better if I speak to him alone first.’
‘What about Tommy?’
‘I might just leave him a note. I actually think he’s met somebody himself, please God. I’ll tell him he can see Robbie whenever he wants to, within reason. That’s OK with you, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, course. What about the lad’s schooling though?’
‘I can’t be doing that distance twice a day, so we’ll have to look into schools around here for him.’
‘OK. I got a couple of pals with kids Robbie’s age. I’ll have a word with them; find out what the best school is.’
‘Thanks, Josh. I love you so much.’
‘Love you too.’ Josh patted Donna’s stomach. ‘And that little one in there.’
Scratch propped her elbow in the sand. Without any prompting, Tommy had been opening up about his marriage. ‘So, why do you stay with Donna?’
‘Because I ain’t got much fucking choice.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The Darlings are Catholics, Scratch. I wouldn’t be allowed to divorce her. This is why I’m hoping this bloke she has on the firm is the real deal. I think he is. She seems much happier than she has in years. I pray every night that she’ll just fuck off with him. Robbie’s gonna be the issue though. I ain’t letting another geezer bring up my son. If she wants to leave, fine. But that boy stays with me.’
‘What would happen if you left Donna?’
Tommy lay back in the sand, the sun on his face, he hadn’t felt quite as relaxed in years. ‘I dunno. It wouldn’t be pleasant though.’
‘Oh, don’t be so overly dramatic,’ Scratch laughed. ‘Lots of couples get divorced.’
‘You don’t know the Darlings like I do. You wrong ’em, you’re a dead man walking.’
Scratch feigned surprise. ‘You’re kidding me? What, have you actually seen them kill someone?’
Realizing he’d already said too much, Tommy stood up and held out his hand. ‘Nah, course not. Come on, I’m starving. Let’s go get something to eat.’
‘Can I ask you something, Tommy?’
Tommy smiled. Unlike Donna, she was so easy to be around. The conversation flowed naturally. ‘Go on.’
‘How have you coped over the years, ya know, dealing with what happened to us as kids? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I haven’t coped well at all and it’s not a subject I can talk about with anybody else. You’re the only person I’ve ever really told.’ And part of her was telling the truth there, that was the hard part here, remembering what was Scratch and what was Kim Regan.
‘I haven’t coped well either. I saw him again, ya know – my uncle. He was in a pub not far from where I grew up.’
‘Oh God. That must’ve been awful for you. Did he recognize you?’
Tommy cracked at his knuckles. ‘Nah. I wanted to kill him, even went back to the boozer a few times and waited outside so I could find out where he lived. But when push came to shove, I couldn’t go through with it. Just the thought of being in close proximity to him again gives me the heebies. I did consider telling the Darlings – they would have been only too happy to rid the earth of the scum – but it would’ve meant coming clean to them. They know bits and bobs about what happened, but not, ya know, the full story.’
‘You never told me the full story either. It’s hard to open up about something so personal, isn’t it? I’ve not even had sex with anyone else since you.’
Tommy turned to her in shock. ‘No way!’
‘It’s true. I swear,’ Scratch lied. To be honest, it wasn’t a massive lie as there had only been Jay.
‘But why not? You’re so pretty. You must have blokes falling at your feet.’
‘Not really. I don’t trust men. Lee says I’ll never meet one, cos I come across as too standoffish.’
Tommy looked into her eyes. ‘I am truly sorry for letting you down that time. If I had one wish in life it would be to turn the clock back. I’d do everything differently now.’
Scratch gently rubbed his arm. ‘It’s OK, Tommy. I’ve forgiven you. Let’s make a pact never to talk about the bad shit that happened to us again. It’s depressing, isn’t it?’
‘Sure is. That sick bastard had even cha
nged his name to mine, ya know.’
‘What! Who?’
‘Uncle Ian is now called Tom.’
‘Oh, Tommy. That’s dreadful,’ Scratch replied, genuinely meaning it.
Tommy looked Scratch square in the eyes, ‘He did rape me. But only the once. He was gonna do it a second time, that’s why I stabbed him.’
‘I kind of guessed that. I’m sorry, Tommy.’
‘What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, eh?’
Scratch squeezed Tommy’s hand. ‘Sure does.’
‘Do you want to come in for a tea or coffee? Lee’ll probably be home, but you’ll like her. She’s ever so funny and nice,’ Scratch said as they approached the flat.
‘No, but thanks anyway. I promised Robbie I’d read him a bedtime story before he goes to sleep. I always try to, when I can.’
Instead of pulling up outside the actual block, Tommy parked on the corner and took a cassette out of the glove compartment. ‘Remember this? I’ve never forgotten it. It’s like, our song.’
Scratch shuddered. The song was Johnny Nash’s ‘Tears on My Pillow’. How could she ever forget it? She’d sobbed for days, playing it over and over, before smashing it to smithereens.
‘You cold?’
‘No. This, it takes me back, that’s all.’
‘Do you remember buying me a copy before I left Maylands? You said we should always remember one another when playing it.’
‘Of course I do.’
‘I’ve still got the photo you gave me too. The one of me, you, Smiffy, Dumbo and Benny sunbathing in the garden.’
‘Listen, I was wondering, would you like to come round for dinner one evening next week?’
Tommy grinned. ‘You try stopping me. How about Saturday?’
Thinking of the first excuse that came to mind, Scratch said, ‘I can’t do Saturday. It’s Lee’s mum’s fiftieth birthday party. How about Monday?’
‘Not gonna poison me, are ya?’ Tommy smirked. ‘Monday’s fine by me.’
‘Of course not,’ Scratch chuckled. ‘That lady I used to work for learned me how to cook.’
Tommy turned to Scratch and moved her hair away from her face. ‘I am so glad we’re back in touch.’
‘Me too.’
When Tommy leaned forward to kiss her, Scratch shut her eyes and responded.
Feeling his useless penis suddenly rise from the dead, Tommy felt ecstatic. He put Scratch’s hand on it, but she quickly snatched it away. ‘I’m sorry,’ Tommy said.
‘It’s OK. But well, you know, I need to take things slowly, Tommy. I can’t be rushing into anything like that.’
‘I understand. Honestly I do. I won’t put any pressure on you. I’m just happy to spend time together.’
Scratch smiled. ‘I’ll see you on Monday then. Does half seven sound OK?’
‘Yeah, fine. Is it all right if I call you tomorrow, when you get home from work?’
‘That’s if I still have a job after throwing a sickie today,’ Scratch laughed. ‘Yeah, call me tomorrow – and thanks so much for the lovely day. I thoroughly enjoyed it.’
Tommy winked. ‘Me too.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
The thing about love is it blindsides you. I had been a hard man for years, had shut my feelings off – you’ve got to when you’re kicking the shit out of someone, can’t be thinking about their kids, or who they are …
Scratch made me feel alive in a way that only violence had. And yep, you could say I was falling hook, line and sinker …
Meanwhile, the Darling firm was floundering, keeping a handle on Ronnie was becoming a full-time job. His mood swings had turned him into a proper nut job. Danny was just playing dad of the fucking year and Jack wasn’t the same since his stroke. And Donna, well whoever said women were the answer to all evil clearly hadn’t met Donna!
But the family was relying on me to keep up the Darling name. And it was a job I took very fucking seriously …
‘You’re up early,’ Tommy said to Donna.
‘Yes. I’ve got a lot of running around to do this morning.’ She’d already packed some of her and Robbie’s clothes, and other necessities, put them in the boot of her car while Tommy was out yesterday. ‘I’ll drop Robbie off to school. Why don’t you go back to bed, have a lie-in.’
Tommy looked at Donna suspiciously. She’d been extra nice to him when he’d got home last night and the lazy cow never usually got out of bed before lunchtime. He always took Robbie to school and Donna would pick him up. ‘OK. Cheers.’
Tommy went upstairs, got dressed and as soon as he heard the front door slam, ran down the stairs and jumped in his car. Donna hadn’t wanted him to read Robbie a bedtime story last night and when he’d insisted on doing so, the lad had slipped up. ‘I didn’t go to school, Daddy. We went to Mummy’s friend John’s house and I had a ride in his sports car and swam in his pool. It was ace.’
Tommy had somehow managed to hold his temper, but was determined to find out what that bitch was up to today. She could fuck off with John tomorrow for all he cared, but no way was she taking Robbie with her. Over his dead body.
Scratch met Hunter in the same place they’d met the previous day. She handed him a list of all she’d found out so far.
‘Well, this ain’t enough to get any fucking convictions, is it?’
‘I know that, Guv. Slowly, slowly catchy monkey. He will open up to me, I know he will. He’s coming to the flat for a meal on Monday night. I’ll ply him with booze to loosen him up a bit.’
‘Why wait until Monday? Can’t you cook for him beforehand?’
‘This is Jay’s first weekend off for ages. We’ve arranged to go house-hunting and booked a hotel in Hertfordshire on Saturday night. I’ve hardly seen him for weeks. I should imagine weekends are the busiest time for Tommy in his line of work anyway.’
‘Ask him and see. Work before pleasure. You know the drill, Regan.’
‘OK.’
‘You spoke to your snout?’
‘Yeah. All good.’
‘All systems go then. But you need to start getting more info out of your childhood sweetheart, sharpish. I don’t care how you do it. Give him a wank if need be.’
Scratch looked at Hunter with distaste. He truly was a vulgar man.
Tommy knew immediately that Donna wasn’t taking Robbie to school as she headed in the opposite direction. He hung back and was shocked when she stopped near Churchill’s. She got out of the car, leaving Robbie inside, locked the doors and pressed the buzzer. Jack opened the door and ushered her inside.
Tommy tapped on the window of Donna’s Volkswagen Beetle. ‘Why aren’t you at school? What’s Mummy doing here?’
‘She said she needed to talk to Granddad, then we could go to John’s house again. You should see his car, Daddy. It’s a Ferrari.’
Tommy was livid. ‘You wait here. You’ll be spending the day with me, OK?’
Using his own key, Tommy crept inside Churchill’s. He could hear voices coming from upstairs, the area they used as their office.
As he tiptoed up the stairs, the voices became clearer.
‘No way, Donna. Tommy’s not just my best pal, he’s like a brother to me. You can’t do this to him. It’ll break him,’ Danny said.
‘Stupid little cow’s lost her marbles. Who is this fucking geezer?’ Jack bellowed. ‘You’ve got a good husband. Tommy’s one of our own. You married the man; you make your marriage work. Understand me?’
‘Tommy’ll go apeshit if you take Robbie away from him,’ Eugene added.
‘I’m a grown woman, not a fucking child, and I’m sick of living in an arranged loveless marriage. Don’t you think I deserve to be happy? For your information, Tommy has been unable to get an erection for years and we sleep in separate bedrooms,’ Donna screeched.
Tommy felt mortified, and what did she mean by ‘arranged marriage’? He barged into the room. ‘Donna’s right, guys. Our marriage has been dead in the water for a long time. If Don
na has met the man of her dreams, then good luck to her. Robbie will live with me, mind. But Donna can see him on certain days. We’ll work something out.’
‘I don’t fucking think so,’ Donna laughed manically. ‘Tell him the truth ’cause if you don’t then I bastard-well will.’
Jack glared at the bane of his life. ‘Shut your trap, you. Or else.’
Tommy turned to Danny. ‘The truth about what?’
Danny couldn’t reply, looked at his shoes. He had never wanted to be part of this conspiracy in the first place, had said it was wrong at the time. But his father and Ronnie had insisted, so that was that.
Ronnie put a comforting arm around Tommy’s shoulders. ‘Come down to the bar. You look like you need a drink.’
Tommy shrugged Ronnie’s arm away. ‘Nah. I wanna know what the fuck is going on ’ere.’
‘Danny, go downstairs with Tommy while I have a chat with Donna,’ Jack ordered.
‘Come on, mate,’ Danny said.
‘I ain’t going nowhere until I find out the truth. What did you mean by “arranged marriage”, Don?’
‘She didn’t mean anything. She’s talking bollocks, ain’t you, Donna?’
‘Tell him. He needs to know the truth,’ Donna hissed.
‘The truth about fucking what?’ Tommy shrieked.
‘Robbie isn’t your son. I was pregnant before we got together. I’m sorry,’ Donna wept.
‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This is some kind of joke, right?’
‘Go and get a bottle of brandy, Ronnie. I think we all need a drink,’ Jack ordered, glaring at his daughter.
Tommy prodded Danny in the chest. ‘Please tell me this ain’t true, mate.’
The cat well and truly out of the bag, all Danny could mumble was, ‘Sorry, mate. None of this was my idea.’
Tommy sank to his haunches and put his head in his hands. He could not believe this was happening to him. That little boy he’d loved and cherished since birth wasn’t even part of him.
‘Drink that,’ Ronnie ordered, handing Tommy a large brandy.
Tommy took a sip, stood up and smashed the glass against the wall. ‘Whose fucking kid is it?’ he bellowed, his eyes fixed on the slut he’d married.
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