“You like the one about the house wrecking stray dog that I now call my own, do you?”
“Actually yes, I do. I’m glad you still have him, he’s kind of special, you know?”
“Oh, he’s ‘special’ alright,” I laughed.
“You know what I mean, he’s special to us, he kind of introduced us, don’t you think?” I broke out in a huge grin, but couldn’t say anything. I knew he’d be able to hear it if I did. That was so sweet, so sentimental, so unboy-like.
I forced the smile off my face. “Yeah, I guess he did.”
“Though you have to give him a better name than Poo Bum, for real.”
“We’re working on it.”
“Anyway, I wasn’t calling about that interesting video,” he said, the flirty smile back in his voice.
“Oh no?” I asked, like I had no idea what he could possibly be talking about.
“This sexting thing of which you sing,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of it. I need some more information.”
“Uh huh, how so?”
“I think I need to see one, to see what they look like,” he said. “You know, so that I can make up my mind about whether I am for or against sexts. Whatever they are.”
“You wish you were so lucky,” I said.
He laughed. “Well, it was worth a shot. Hey, have you seen Star?”
“Yes – and so has my entire school.”
“You’re famous, kid.”
“Yeah, how are you coping with it? The whole fame thing? I’m just getting stared at a lot and strangers come up to me wanting me to get them into your show sometime.”
“It’s completely surreal here,” he said. “I went to a mall around here with Archie and there was this mob of about ten girls. When they saw us, you’d think we had machetes or something, they started screaming so loud. And then they chased us. It was crazy, I didn’t know what they’d do if they caught us. And the paparazzi, they just stand in front of you clicking, asking questions, it’s kind of hard to get around them.”
“Weird,” I said.
“Tell me about it. And you saw those shots of us in Star, right? We were still recording the album at that point, so there was some pap stalking either you or me, hoping one of us was going to get famous,” he said. “I bet Sasha leaked it, back then.”
Sasha. Just the mention of her name reminded me that I was here, and he was there, wherever he was right now, with anyone. Anyone at all.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“Probably drumming up publicity early, saying we had a hot track coming and we were worth paying attention to,” he said. “I don’t know, I’m just speculating.” He sighed. “Talking crap probably. Whatever. I miss you, you know?”
“I miss you too,” I said.
“I’m gonna fly back in the next few weeks, come and see you, my parents, some other buddies.”
“That sounds really good,” I said. “I can’t wait.”
“Me either. Right now though, I gotta jet. I’m starving and we’ve got sound check later.”
We hung up not long after that. I smiled at my phone. He was so great. My heart swelled and I sighed like a romantic heroine in love. Was I in love? Nooo. Not possible. But then again, I didn’t know how to tell. The only thing I really had to compare to was my time with Cam. I had been happy then, so happy. And I had ached to spend every minute with him if I could. And I knew I had been stupid, but he wasn’t supposed to move on.
It was completely different with Ty. I wasn’t saying he didn’t make me so, so happy, but the whole, everything about our relationship was different than what I’d had with Cam. I couldn’t compare the two.
Nah, I can’t be in love with Ty. I sure liked him a lot, though. As did hundreds – thousands of other girls. There were thousands of girls out there who wished they were me, that they were dating my perfect little rock star. But they weren’t, I was. I opened a fresh text message, and with a sly smile on my lips I typed ‘to help you think of me until you return’. Then I pulled my top off, held the camera phone high, and clicked a photo.
Send.
***
Chapter Fourteen
I knew I should have studied more. I sat down in Geography and nervously tapped my pencil on the edge of the desk, looking around as other people dropped their books on the floor, opened their pencil cases and stared at the spit wads on the ceiling as they ran through whatever they could remember that could possibly be on the test.
Two seats in front of me and one across, the seat was empty. I wondered where Cam was. Not that it mattered. I closed my eyes and pictured the textbook sitting in front of me last night, all of that little black writing, the occasional picture and graph. So much little black writing…what had it all said again? My eyes shot open as Mr. Philopolous slapped the test on my desk. Upside down. Of course it was upside down. I let out a little whimper and Ravi, sitting beside me, laughed. Mr. Philopolous must have given him the evil eye because Ravi’s smile vanished and he stared at his own desk. He didn’t raise his gaze again.
“Okay everyone,” Mr. Phil said. There was a knock at the door and one of the school admin ladies peeked her head inside.
“Sorry to interrupt, Jeff,” she said, her high heels click-clacking on the linoleum floor as she walked over to him and handed him a yellow note. He read it and turned to me with a sigh. I sat up straight. What had I done?
“Poppy, you’re wanted in the Guidance Office.”
“Really?” I said, surprised. “Right now?”
“Come on, come on,” he said. “Quickly.”
I scooped my books up off the floor, grabbed the test and hurried to the front of the room. I handed him the test uncertainly and he glared at me, holding out the yellow slip of paper. “You’ll make it up tomorrow.”
I couldn’t believe my luck. I beamed at him and all my scowling classmates and followed the admin lady out of the room.
I tapped lightly on the doorframe of the Guidance Office, and did a pretty good imitation of the admin assistant when I poked my head around the doorway.
“Ah, Poppy!” A lady who I assumed must be the Guidance Counsellor said. She was quite robust, wearing a red top that was failing miserably at containing her cleavage. She waved me inside. I’d never been to the Guidance Office before, but it didn’t stop her, she smiled at me in such a familiar way you’d think we had a weekly standing appointment. Maybe she had assumed I was Poppy since she’d summoned me. Then I noticed Star magazine on the desk in front of her. Ah.
“Take a seat,” she said motioning to the seat in front of her desk. There were two other plastic chairs piled high with paperwork, files and brochures. “I’m glad you could come and see me, I thought it was time we had a little chat.”
“Oh yes?” I said.
“Yes, now I wanted to talk to you about this whole phenomenon you kids are getting involved in.” She paused and looked at me seriously. “Sexting.” Oh God. “You brought up a really interesting point in that video the other night.”
My ears tingled and burned, even teachers were watching my videos?
“I just wanted to talk to you about it, make sure you haven’t…been indulging in some of the behavior you discussed in your song.” She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. She might have been just as uncomfortable as I was to be having this conversation. She seemed to be waiting for an answer. Did she think I was really going to tell a teacher – one I’d never met – whether I had been sending naked pictures to my boyfriend?
“…Right,” I said, being vague. Being very, very vague. That was a question I was not answering. No way.
“Right,” she repeated. She waited a moment longer for me to elaborate but changed tactic after my silence, and continued. “Sexting can be very damaging to an individual, especially now that we’re in the digital age,” she said. “All it takes is the click of a button to forward pictures or videos on to others that you may not have had any intention of se
eing…such an intimate side of you.”
All the blood drained from my face. I pictured my dad seeing the photo. Or Mr. Philopolous. Or…oh God – Bex.
She went on. “Especially with the internet, once a picture like a racy photograph gets onto the web, it never goes away. It’s out there forever. Are you aware that racy photographs of someone your age are considered child pornography?”
I’m sorry…what?
“It’s a criminal offence, Poppy. I don’t think you kids realize that, do you? I want to discuss this with all of you students, but I thought it was particularly important to nip it in the bud with you first, since you’re, well…” She picked up the magazine. “You’re experiencing your fifteen minutes of fame and I would hate for the media to get hold of a photograph of you like that and run with it. It could have such an impact on your future, Poppy, and you have such a bright one.” She tapped a manila folder on her desk, it had my name on it. My academic records, from looking at my academic records, she thought I had a bright future? That couldn’t be right. “You’re such a talented song writer for someone so young,” she said.
Oh okay, that made more sense. A chill ran down my spine. What had I done? Pornography?
“So. Please, tell me you haven’t sent one of these sexts. Have you?” Her forehead furrowed with concern.
“No,” I said, faking a laugh at the ridiculousness of it. “No way! I’d never do that.” I shook my head, biting my lip so hard I think I made it bleed. “It was just, you know, discussion. Just a song.” The serious expression on her face mirrored the one I was sure was on mine. She played along, even though there was no way she could have bought my denial. My darting, panicky eyes were a dead giveaway.
“That puts my mind at ease,” she said with a relieved laugh. A fake relieved laugh. “Because honey, it may be a personal moment for you and the boy you like, but anyone could see it. Just think before you act okay, think about this: ‘is it something I would want my parents to see? My grandparents? The children I might have one day?’ Are you okay?”
“Yep,” I said, forcing a grimace-smile. At least I showed teeth. I was hyperventilating, and she looked on worriedly at the speed my chest rose and fell.
“Thanks for the talk.” I jumped up, flung the door open and strode out into the corridor before she said a word.
What-had-I-done-what-had-I-done-what-had-I-done.
I strode outside into the lukewarm sunshine, into the open space and leaned forward, taking deep breaths. Deep breath, deep breath. In…out, in…out, okay.
I called Ty.
“Hi-”
“Hey, you haven’t shown that picture to anyone, have you?” I said.
“What picture?” He asked, being all coy. “I don’t remember any picture-”
“I’m not playing here Ty, have you shown it to anyone?”
“No, I promise.”
“Not even the guys?”
“Not even the guys, why?”
“And you haven’t forwarded it anywhere, have you? Like to your email or your Facebook or something?”
“No, I swear, it’s just on my phone. Are you freaking out?”
“Maybe. Yes.”
“What’s going on?”
“Can you just get rid of it?” I said. “Delete it, right now. Please.”
“Why? I kind of like it.” He was smiling at me from somewhere across the continent.
“I should never have sent it to you, it was stupid. Really stupid. If it gets out-”
“It’s not going to get out,” Ty said.
“You don’t know that, you can’t know that for sure unless you delete it. So please, please delete it,” I said. “I’m not one of those girls, Ty.”
“What girls?”
I closed my eyes, my body clenching from the shame. “One of those slutty girls.”
“I know that, hey, Poppy, I know that.”
“And no one’s seen it but you?”
“No.”
“Okay,” I said. “Good. So can you please delete it for me?”
“Yes, yes I’ll delete it. As soon as I hang up I’ll delete it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Good,” I said. I exhaled loudly. We were both quiet for a moment. I had to fill the awkward freak-out induced silence. “Where are you right now?”
“We’re in Miami.”
“Oh, cool.”
“Yeah, I’m hanging to hit the beach, I hear they’re pretty epic here,” he said. “But we’re leaving tomorrow, so I don’t think we’ll get there.”
“Bummer.”
“It’s bullshit,” Ty said, sounding angry. “We’re getting fuck-all time off. I’m exhausted.”
“But it’s amazing, right? It’s everything you ever dreamed of?”
“It’s kind of intense,” he said. “But yeah, it’s amazing.”
“When you come home we’ll just chill, go to the park, see a movie. Relax,” I said.
“Sounds like heaven.”
The bell rang and students flooded the grounds, moving from one class to the next. “I gotta go to class,” I said. We made our goodbyes and I ended the call. As I walked back toward the main building I hoped that at that exact moment Ty was deleting that stupid photo from his phone, and all my worries were over. Guess I’d never know.
***
At the bus stop that afternoon my mind was taken off my whole regretful sexting debacle when Vanya told me something completely shocking. Mads wasn’t there because she was going home with Dev, and weirdly, Cam wasn’t there either. He hadn’t been at school all day. Was he sick? It’s not like I asked her where he was or anything, I had just been standing there, taking off my sweater because the afternoon was warm and feeling more and more like springtime was on the way when Vanya brought him up. Not me. Just so we’re clear. I was stuffing my sweater in my backpack when she said “Did you hear that Cam was in a house fire last night?”
I think my head turned in slow motion, I felt my eyes widening and everything, and I must have stopped stuffing, my sweater dangling half in-half out of my bag. Van stepped forward and shoved it all the way inside for me, before it fell onto the grimy cement.
“What are you talking about? Are you being serious?”
“How did you not hear about it? Everyone’s been talking,” she said. “Francesca told me in English. She looked awful and was all shaken up because last night her boyfriend Jarrod’s house burned down, and Cam was sleeping over for some reason.”
“Is he…?” I said. I couldn’t breathe. “Are they…?”
“They got out, everyone’s fine,” Vanya said quickly. My heart must have stopped beating because it started again – really, really fast, thumping against my rib cage. I was breathing fast, too, and took a few breaths to calm myself down. “But I bet there was a lot of smoke inhalation.”
As the bus pulled into the curb and we all walked forward to the doors, I hoped he was okay, was he at the hospital? Was he at home? I didn’t know what to do with myself. I climbed onto the bus and surprisingly found two empty seats, so I sat down with Vanya who pulled out her Geography homework, double-checking it. I stared out the windows as the bus pulled away, the breaks exhaling and we headed homeward bound. Could I call him? No, that would have been weird I hadn’t called him since we were dating. How would I talk to him? Maybe I should text him. I stared at my cell phone clutched in my hand, but did nothing. No. If Francesca was telling everyone, he was probably inundated with texts by now. And maybe I’d be waiting all night for a reply. What if he couldn’t reply? What if he was in the hospital with third degree burns and his mom and dad were watching through the window, his mom crying and leaning on his dad as they wondered if their baby boy would survive. No, that was stupid. Vanya had said everyone was fine. But I had to know. I didn’t even notice the buildings, the trees, the cars and people go by. I was too lost in thought.
I didn’t go home. I said goodbye to Van at the bus stop and walked straight to Ca
m’s instead. It felt weird, standing on his front doorstep again. The last time I had been there, it had been for dinner with his family and then Nikki had come over after to watch movies with us. Because I had suggested it and Cam had said he didn’t mind, he liked Nikki. I pushed the thought from my mind, pressed the doorbell and waited.
I had a sudden thought and my eyes widened. Oh my God, what if Nikki was in there? Of course she was in there, her boyfriend was in a house fire and was lucky to be alive. I backed up and was on the first step off the porch when the door opened.
“Poppy?”
I spun around. Cam stood there, wearing a white tee shirt and pajama bottoms with rocket ships on them.
It was a bit of an understatement to say he looked surprised. Flustered, more like it. “Poppy, hi,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
“So you’re alright,” I said.
“What?”
“The fire. I heard all about the fire last night, how Jarrod’s whole house burned down. Is that true? Did the whole entire house burn down?”
“Yeah, it did,” he said with a small, amazed smile. “Especially the kitchen – completely toasted. The inside of the pantry must have been fire proof though, which was weird. Come in.” He stepped aside, holding the door wide.
“Oh, I shouldn’t,” I said.
“Why not?”
We stood there in awkward silence for a moment before I finally decided to enter the house. There was no getting out of it, really. I walked in, sliding past him, careful not to touch him in any way, uncomfortably aware of how close my body was to his. I looked at him fleetingly through my eyelashes as I passed in front of him, feeling the warmth of his breath, his skin, his boy smell with an unexpected hint of cinnamon. He didn’t used to smell like cinnamon, but he did now. Within half a second I was past and in the foyer, Cam closing the door behind me.
“Want a cookie?” he said, leading me through to the kitchen. “Mom made some, they’re cinnamon and entirely awesome.” He picked up a cookie from the cooling tray and held it out to me. Ah, explained the new boy smell.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him. For half a second our fingertips touched. “So tell me about it. The fire.”
The Kiss Off Page 12