The Kiss Off

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by Sarah Billington


  Jules and I had been playing on the jungle gym. We were sitting up the top, surveying our kingdom (we were princesses – actually I was the Queen and Jules was a princess but I didn’t tell her that) and we were deciding whether or not to send the knights out to war or let the enemy come to us and ram down the gate. Pfft. Let them try. All I knew was good luck getting over the moatful of crocodiles. Anyway Meg and her girls sauntered over and had a good old laugh looking up our skirts and from then on she called me Dumbo, cos I’d been wearing these cute little elephant underpants. Jules didn’t get a nickname at the time because she was wearing plain white ones. She probably hadn’t planned it out, that the nickname would catch on and everyone – especially the boys – would call me Dumbo for the next six years of my school life. I mean she was just a little kid. But I clearly remember the look in her eye when Louis Markowicz heard and laughed and announced to everyone that my name was Dumbo. She was thrilled. And this was just the beginning of Meg’s reign of terror against me. Jules got her fair share of abuse too. Actually in second grade she earned the nickname Tipper because she went through a clumsy phase and tipped over a lot.

  But jeez, Dumbo? Jules was my best friend so she hated Meg for me. She was insulted for me and we spent a lot of time glaring at her from across the playground and staying out of her way. And besides, isn’t it really mean to call someone Dumbo for six straight years? Especially when other kids caught on to it but thought it meant I was stupid.

  As I watched them standing over there, I remembered the last day of term last year, Jules and I walking home and we’d started running and skipping with joy because we were finally rid of the evil evil Meg. We’d really been looking forward to that. Then what on Earth was Jules doing laughing with her right now? I mean, Meg!

  I was still standing on my own by the gate, trying to be inconspicuous in my school gown, but I probably wasn’t doing a good job of it because I think my jaw had hit the pavement and my eyebrows had most likely disappeared into my hair line.

  And then Jules’s mascara’d eyes turned to me, but they didn’t light up like they were supposed to. She didn’t run over to me and hug me because she hadn’t seen her best friend in months. She didn’t exclaim about how boring that trip to Europe had been and how much she missed me, and wished I’d have been there because it would have been so much more fun with me by her side. Oh, and she was so sorry she got back two weeks ago but whisked off on an end of summer trip to the beach with family friends. It had all been so last minute!

  What she did do, was nod and stroll over, blowing a bubble with her gum. She didn’t stick out like a new kid, even her knee high socks stayed up as she walked, unlike mine, one of which had fallen down ages ago. I pushed a flyaway strand of hair from my eyes and watched her walk over. Casually. Not excited. Her glossy hair swooshed out behind her. She looked nothing like her.

  But it was.

  ‘Kale, hi,’ she said, she leaned in and blew a kiss near my cheek. She didn’t even really smile, just kept chewing her gum like a cow chewing grass.

  ‘Hi…’ I said. I didn’t know what else there was. My throat felt scratchy so I cleared it roughly. ‘So um, how was your summer?’

  ‘Cool, yeah.’ She shrugged.

  ‘Dumbo, hey.’ Meg sauntered up, smirking at me. ‘You got in here too, huh?’ she laughed. ‘Jules didn’t say.’

  Jules remained silent. At least she looked embarrassed. She looked at the ground and around but not at me for a bit.

  ‘Yeah, I got in.’ I glared at her. She glared back. ‘Surprised to see you, though,’ I said, amazed to find my voice wasn’t shaking or anything, though my hands sure were. ‘I thought your parents would have sent you to military school or something.’

  Her eyes narrowed. ‘Cute,’ she said, glaring at me. I looked right back. After a couple of seconds she rolled her eyes into the back of her head, huffed loudly and held up her fingernails and scrutinized them. I don’t know why.

  ‘Megs!’ We all looked over to the clique on the other side of the lawn, another girl, clearly impatient for Meg to join them and stop “welcoming” the new girl held out her arms excitedly and was skipping over to us. Meg and the girl hugged and squealed.

  ‘Who’s that?’ I heard the girl ask. Meg looked over to me and then Jules and then shook her head at her friend.

  ‘Nobody.’ I felt my cheeks flush and tried to keep the scowl from my face. The rest of the group were standing, watching, waiting.

  Jules looked at them and back at me uncomfortably. ‘Meg, she was on–’

  She flinched as the bell rang.

  ‘Come on Jules, let’s go,’ Meg said, taking her by the arm, she pulled her toward the group. Pulled her away from me. I caught a triumphant glance in my direction as Jules complied. The girls walked over to the clique and hugged and air kissed everyone there. Jules seemed to know them all. She fit right in.

  ‘Hey Jules, how was the beach?’ Tall and Scruffy smiled at her warmly and opened his arms for a hug. They were all very, very huggy. She smiled shyly, hugged him awkwardly back. She and I, we weren’t exactly huggy types.

  ‘Yeah, good thanks Travis’ Jules said. She knew his name.

  ‘Oh my God, it was so fun, wasn’t it Jules?’ Meg said loudly as they pushed open the doors and walked inside, leaving me standing alone, outside. Scruff – sorry, Travis – glanced back at me, all alone, but kept walking. I was humiliated. Guess I am the loser loner kid after all. Wait – she went to the beach with Meg?

  ***

  Chapter Two

  I shuffled into the assembly hall, spotted a girl thumbing through a magazine and figured she’d be safe to sit beside. I sidled into the row and as I bent to sit she looked up and waved her hands at me.

  ‘Hey, no those seats are taken.’

  ‘Oh.’ I shot back up, like I’d burnt my ass.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. But good manners didn’t make me feel any better. She turned back to her mag and ignored the empty looking seats some more. She could at least put her bag on them, make them look saved. Stop newbies from making embarrassing mistakes like that.

  I shuffled down the aisle some more and found an empty row save for a boy sitting in the corner. He was scribbling in a notebook, holding the pages up protectively so no one could see..

  ‘These seats taken?’ I asked. I wasn’t going through that again.

  He looked up and blinked at me through his black-rimmed glasses. ‘No,’ he said.

  ‘Cool, thanks.’ I sat down, put my bag at my feet and watched the student body of my new school as they made their way slowly into the hall, to the beginning of the new school year. I hadn’t anticipated I’d be sitting here by myself.

  I scanned the crowd, found her, and settled my gaze on Jules. She was a couple of rows ahead of me, but in the centre aisle, sitting in the middle of a long group of friends. They were passing around a bag of strawberry lollipops, and you could tell who was in the clique, by who was sucking one. Jules was most definitely in the clique. How did this happen? How did she know these people? I didn’t recognize one of them. Well, no, that’s not true. I recognized Meg, of course. And come to think of it, a couple of her sheep were sitting there too. Stacey and Priya were there. Oh wait – and there was Pixie. As average as they had always been. I suppose they were better groomed, clearly with hours spent in front of the mirror with make up brushes and straightening irons. How boring would that be. But all that hair dye and fake tan didn’t matter – I knew who they were. How a girl named Pixie got to be in the popular group, I’ll never know. If I was Meg, in kindergarten I would have immediately started calling her ‘Pix her nose’ or ‘Pox’ or something, and she’d have been shunned just like Dumbo. But I’m not Meg so I’d never do that.

  A lady who I guessed was Principal Johnson was sorting out some papers at the podium.

  She tapped the microphone and feedback shrieked, amplified by the speaker above my head. It made everyone wince; cover their ears; yell out or all of the
above.

  ‘I guess I don’t need to ask if the microphone’s on then.’ Ms. Johnson laughed nervously. There were a few vague titters, and Ms. Johnson made a show of rubbing her ears from the pain, with a little laugh, looking around at her colleagues to check that they were laughing too. So she was going to be one of those principals.

  I slid down in my seat and stared glumly at Jules. She seemed right at home. Completely comfortable on her first day of school. Completely comfortable without me.

  The assembly dragged on as Ms. Johnson made a bunch of announcements about stuff that had happened last year, it really didn’t make any sense to me and I found myself cross eyed and zoning out.

  That’s what made me notice them talking behind me.

  ‘How about that one?’

  ‘Who?’ There was silence.

  ‘Ten bucks says she’s in seventh grade,’ a boy said.

  ‘I’m in. She’s totally a ninth grader.’

  ‘She can’t be in ninth grade, you moron. Or she’d be in high school.’

  ‘Oh, right.’

  ‘And besides, that’s my sister’s age,’ said another.

  ‘Your sister’s hot.’ I heard a thump and some muttered expletives.

  ‘Ow. I’m just saying.’

  ‘Shut up.’

  ‘Keep it down, do I have to separate you two?’ someone else whispered.

  ‘Coby, I’ll see your ten and raise you twenty. I reckon she’s in with us,’ a girl said.

  ‘Twenty bucks? Where did you get twenty bucks?’ The first boy hissed. ‘Do you think I’m made of money?’

  The boy with the glasses beside me looked up from his book and smiled, shaking his head. He glanced at the stage and then back to his notebook.

  ‘Hey shut up – I think they’re on to us.’

  They went silent. Since they already knew, I turned in my seat.

  There were three boys and a girl sitting behind me, each with their eyes fixed on me. Like the popular boys from outside, this group also wore their uniform unironed and their ties loose at the neck. The bed headed blond boy waved.

  ‘Busted,’ sniggered one with black hair that fell into his eyes. The girl leaned forward. She was Asian and wore the coolest thickest fake eye lashes I’d ever seen, and lots of little buttons on the lapel of her blazer. She had brightly colored clips holding her long, thick hair in place. Some rainbows, some skulls, all totally cool. I couldn’t believe she was wearing it all, dressing up her uniform like that. Isn’t the point of a uniform to make everyone look the same? Not that we did. When sitting, my school dress nearly touched the floor it was so long. Did she know something I didn’t know? Did the teachers not actually care about false eye lashes and earrings made out of feathers and skull and crossbone buttons?

  ‘So, which is it?’ she asked. ‘Who won?’

  ‘I’m starting eighth grade.’

  ‘Oh cool, us too,’ the boy with black hair said, leaning back with a satisfied smile. He turned to the girl. ‘Very impressive.’

  She leaned across him and punched the blond boy on the arm.

  ‘Aw man,’ he groaned and put his head in his hands.

  She held out her hand. ‘Pay up. Twenty bucks.’

  ‘I didn’t agree to that.’

  ‘Quiet.’ A teacher had appeared from nowhere, her eyes flashed at each of us, daring us to speak again. I spun around to the front again. I couldn’t believe I was in trouble already. The others went silent, but continued sniggering and whispering again as soon as she had gone. I snuck a glance behind me, and they all grinned. I grinned back.

  ‘Hey,’ the kid with the notebook said, turning his attention back to me. ‘What’s another word for bludgeon?’

  My mouth fell open with surprise. ‘Uh...I...’

  The brunette boy behind me leaned forward and held his hand out to me. I looked at it and back at him. No one except grown ups had ever expected a handshake from me before. Definitely no one my age. It didn’t matter, I mean, bludgeon? Jeez, what was he writing, anyway? Twisting in my seat, I awkwardly shook the boy’s hand. My face heating up slightly.

  ‘I’m Harvey,’ he said quietly. ‘That’s Coby,’ he nodded toward the blond boy who was absent-mindedly scratching the back of his head. He smiled and waved at me. Then sniffed his hand. ‘Miles,’ the black haired emo gave me some finger guns. ‘And that’s Maiyuki.’ She winked at me with a big friendly grin. Her eyes kind of sparkled. Sparkled. She was officially the coolest person ever.

  ‘Hey,’ I whispered, glancing nervously toward the teacher. ‘I’m Kaley.’

  ‘That’s Jonah,’ Maiyuki said, motioning toward the boy next to me. She kicked the back of his seat. He looked up, gave her the finger and continued writing. ‘Yeah, this whole vibe is pretty much Jonah in a nutshell,’ she said, waving her hand in his direction. I smiled.

  Jonah glanced at me, at my new acquaintances behind us and back at me with a pitying look. ‘Welcome to Cromwell,’ he said. Somehow, I don’t think he meant it.

  END OF CHAPTER TWO

  Did you like what you read? Buy it now!

  Life Was Cool Until You Got Popular

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The next night while my

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Life Was Cool Until You

  Chapter Two

 

 

 


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