by Ben Smith
The lads put us all through the mill but we eventually secured the third automatic promotion place after winning at Accrington Stanley on the last day of the season.
The season ended like the previous one: a party on the coach as the club moved up another level to League One. The progression was quite spectacular really and I was proud to say that I had played a role in it. However, on this particular occasion I did not feel a part of the success.
The season was brought to an end by individual meetings between the players and management to discuss how the season had gone and to discuss the future.
Mine seemed like a waste of time but we went through with it anyway.
‘How do you think the season went?’ asked Craig.
‘For me personally?’
‘Yes.’
‘A fucking disaster,’ I retorted.
Craig laughed, which I guessed was his way of agreeing with me, before he went on to thank me for what I had done for the club but that there would be nothing for me going forward. I had been aware of this outcome since about September so had no problem with it at all.
Even though I ended up leaving Crawley through the back door, my spell at the club had surpassed my expectations. I initially joined as I had nothing else and was just happy to guarantee myself another year in football. In the end I had two out of three really enjoyable years there.
It was a roller coaster few years which, I think, anyone who has played under Steve Evans will tell you is normally the case, but I certainly came out of it a stronger person.
Steve constantly tested me both as a person and a footballer and, even though I did not like some of his techniques, more often than not he motivated me in some way. In that third year, as I went to play under different managers, I realised why he behaved the way he did at times. I still did not agree with a lot of it but I could see the method behind some of the madness.
Once you stripped away all the hot air and bullshit there was often a lot of thought put behind his rants. I have tried to give you an insight into how he works, and yes there were funny incidents where we would all cringe at some of things he said and did, but you do not get the success he has achieved in his managerial career without knowing what you are doing. It is not for me to say what is right or wrong – after all, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
One thing I did notice both during my time working with Steve and since is how ruthless he is. When at Crawley and now Rotherham he never rests on his laurels. As soon as he achieves success he is immediately planning for the next challenge. He shows very little loyalty to players. He does not wait to give them an opportunity at the next level. If he thinks he needs to improve the team or squad he goes and does it without any sentiment. The more I progress in my career in coaching the more I understand why he does that.
During my three years at Crawley I made over eighty appearances and scored fifteen goals. My last season as a professional yielded seven appearances for Crawley, three for Kettering, five for Woking and eight for Aldershot, chipping in with two goals.
CHAPTER 28
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
I THINK IT was Gordon Strachan who said: ‘Football is a game of lows punctuated by a few highs.’ (Although I may be paraphrasing him slightly.)
I am not sure I take such a pessimistic view but for every win against Leeds United, Derby County or heroic games against Manchester United, there was an abundance of defeats on cold Tuesday nights against the likes of Dagenham & Redbridge, Accrington Stanley and Morecambe.
However, I had some memorable games and seasons throughout my career: the game at Old Trafford it goes without saying, although probably an even prouder moment for me personally was captaining Hereford United to our FA Cup win at Elland Road. Scoring two goals to help knock Swindon Town out of the same competition also gave me a great thrill, along with playing a big part in the win against Derby County that same season.
I will always look back with a sense of ‘what might have been’ after a brilliant first two-thirds of the 2003/04 season, when I had already scored fourteen goals from central midfield before dislocating my shoulder for a second time. I was out of contract at the end of the season and am still convinced I would have either helped Hereford United get promoted or secured myself a move to a much bigger club than Shrewsbury Town.
I thoroughly enjoyed proving Steve Evans wrong and being an integral part of an excellent Crawley Town squad that broke all sorts of records to romp to the Conference Premier title during the 2010/11 season.
My biggest achievement, however, was without doubt winning promotion to League One with Hereford during the 2007/08 season. We were tipped to be closer to the relegation zone than the top but, after a good start and managing to maintain our form, we more than competed against the likes of Darlington, Peterborough United and MK Dons. Despite a shaky start, I was a virtual ever-present in the side and developed a great midfield partnership with Toumani Diagouraga, who was a pleasure to play with.
On the downside, the 2008/09 season was a disaster as we were humiliatingly relegated from League One with a whimper and an embarrassing points tally.
My last season as a professional 2011/12 was also disappointing as I never got the chance I felt I had deservedly earned during the previous two seasons.
My spells at Southend and Shrewsbury were unmitigated disasters but helped mould my character as much as my more successful spells. The spell at Shrewsbury was especially underwhelming for a variety of reasons, but I knew I should not have gone there before I even put pen to paper. I suppose I got what I deserved for chasing money.
I realise my failure to make any impression at either Arsenal or Reading was down to the fact I was not good enough for the former and I acted too immaturely while with the latter.
I only have two real regrets: moving from Yeovil just before Gary Johnson took over; and leaving Hereford United the first time around. I strongly believe that if I had remained where I was at either point then I would have gone on to develop a lot quicker, under two highly experienced football men, into both the player and person I was capable of being.
On reflection, though, four promotions and only one relegation was a decent return on all the hard work I put in during my career, especially when I really knuckled down in the second half of it.
I hope this book has given you an overall insight into life of jobbing footballers. For seventeen years I was lucky enough to get paid a decent wage to do something I would have done for free. During my career I used to saunter into training about 10 a.m. and would wonder what went wrong if I wasn’t home by 1 p.m. However, the trade-off to that was I moved house nine times and never really settled in any area – although I could have gladly stayed in Weymouth or Worcester for the rest of my life.
Over nearly two decades I came across all sorts of characters and learnt something from all of them, even if it was sometimes how not to do things. I would often look enviously at the likes of my old pal Terry Skiverton, who managed to stay at one club (Yeovil) and make a real impression on its history. There was nothing I would have liked more than to make 300 or 400 appearances at the same place, but I was always too obsessed with moving on to pastures new. The problem being, once I got there, I often realised the grass was not always greener.
The closest I came to making an indelible mark was with Hereford United. When I joined them for the second time I was ready to give them the next five or six years of my career. Unfortunately, by the end of my contract, they did not share that ambition and my nomadic lifestyle continued.
By some twist of fate I seemed to find myself drawn back to the West Country and I particularly loved my times in Yeovil, Hereford, Weymouth and Crawley.
Ultimately I did not quite have the career I had hoped for. Let’s be honest – when I signed for Arsenal as an eleven-year-old I did not dream of playing for Yeovil, Hereford or Crawley. However, when I look back at some of the players I played both with and against over the years, who had double the
ability I had but did not have half the career, I can look back with pride at the fact I managed to earn a living in the cut-throat world of professional sport.
I will always have that ‘what if ’ feeling at the back of my mind – if the penny had dropped earlier for me, I am convinced I would have played at a higher standard for longer.
During my whole professional career I made 475 first-team appearances and scored eighty-two goals.
INDEX
Accrington Stanley 1
Adams, Tony 1, 2
Addison, Colin 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
agent 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Ainsworth, Lionel 1, 2, 3
Akpan, Hope 1, 2, 3
Aldershot Town 1, 2, 3, 4
Allen, Martin 1
apprenticeship 1, 2
Arsenal 1, 2, 3, 4 training sessions 1, 2
youth team 1, 2, 3, 4
Bailey, Alan 1, 2
Barnet FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Barrow AFC 1, 2
Bath City 1
Beckwith, Dean 1, 2, 3
Bent, James 1
Bergkamp, Dennis 1, 2, 3
Birmingham City 1
Blackpool FC 1
Bolton Wanderers 1
Booker, Bob 1, 2
Boston United 1, 2, 3
Bound, Matt 1, 2
Bournemouth, AFC 1, 2, 3, 4
Boylan, Lee 1, 2
Bradford City 1, 2
Brady, Liam 1, 2
Braintree Town 1, 2, 3
Brentford FC 1, 2, 3
Brewster, Craig 1, 2
Brighton & Hove Albion 1
Bristol City 1
Bristol Rovers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Brodie, Richard 1, 2, 3
Brown, David 1, 2, 3, 4
Brown, Wayne 1, 2, 3
Brown, Wes 1
Bullivant, Terry 1, 2, 3, 4
Bullman, Dannie 1, 2, 3, 4
Burton Albion 1
Bury FC 1, 2, 3
Calder, Gary 1, 2, 3, 4
Cambridge United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Cardiff City 1, 2
Carlisle United 1
Carrick, Michael 1
Caskey, Darren 1, 2, 3
Chandler, Dean 1, 2
Chelsea FC 1
Cheltenham Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Chester City 1, 2, 3, 4
Chesterfield 1
Clough, Nigel 1
Colchester United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Cowan, Gavin 1
Crawley Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8, 9, 10, 11 FA Cup run 1, 2, 3
overseas investors 1
promotion 1, 2
Crystal Palace 1, 2, 3
Dagenham & Redbridge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Daily Telegraph 1, 2, 3
Darby, Duane 1
Darlington FC 1, 2
Derby County 1
Diagouraga, Toumani 1, 2, 3, 4
Dickov, Paul 1, 2
Dillon, Kevin 1, 2
Doncaster Rovers 1, 2
Dover Athletic 1, 2
drug testing 1, 2
Dyer, Kieron 1
Eastbourne Borough 1, 2
Easton, Clint 1
Edinburgh, Justin 1
Edwards, Dave 1
Evans, Gee 1, 2, 3
Evans, Steve 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
FA Cup 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
FA Trophy 1, 2, 3
FA Youth Cup 1
Farnborough Town 1
Ferguson, Sir Alex 1, 2
Fletcher, Dan 1, 2, 3, 4
Forest Green Rovers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Gateshead FC 1, 2
Gibson, Willie 1, 2, 3, 4
Gillingham FC 1
Gooding, Mick 1, 2
Gowans, John 1
Gravesend United 1, 2, 3
Grays Athletic 1, 2
Griggs, Max 1, 2
Grimsby Town 1, 2, 3, 4
Guinan, Steve 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Halifax Town 1
Harrison, Martyn 1, 2
Hart, Joe 1, 2
Hayes & Yeading 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Hednesford Town 1, 2
Hereford United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
formation 1
players released 1
promoted to League One 1
relegation 1
Hewson, Sam 1, 2
Highbury Stadium 1, 2
Hill, Garry 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Holdsworth, David 1
Holdsworth, Dean 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Hooper, Gary 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Hornchurch, AFC 1
Howell, Dean 1, 2, 3
Ince, Paul 1, 2
Ipswich Town 1
Johnson, Peter 1
Johnson, Simon 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1, 2, 3
Kean, Steve 1, 2
Kettering Town 1, 2, 3, 4
Kidderminster Harriers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Kuipers, Michel 1, 2
Lambert, Rickie 1, 2, 3
Lampard, Frank 1
Leeds United 1, 2, 3
Leicester City 1
Leyton Orient 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Lincoln City 1
Lippiatt, Colin 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Luton Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Macclesfield Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
McAllister, Craig 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
MacDonald, Sherjill 1, 2, 3, 4
McFadzean, Kyle 1, 2, 3, 4
Madejski, John 1
Manchester City 1
Manchester United 1, 2, 3
Mansfield Town 1, 2, 3, 4
Mills, Pablo 1, 2, 3, 4
MK Dons 1, 2, 3
Morecambe FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Newman, Rob 1, 2, 3
Newport County 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
N’Gotty, Bruno 1
Northampton Town 1, 2, 3
Northwich Victoria 1, 2, 3
Notts County 1, 2
Oates, Gary 1
Oates, Ryan 1, 2
Ofsted 1, 2, 3
O’Kelly, Richard 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Oxford United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Pardew, Alan 1, 2, 3, 4
Parkinson, Phil 1
Parlour, Ray 1
Parmenter, Steve 1
Patmore, Warren 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Pennock, Tony 1, 2
Peterborough United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Peters, Gary 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Piper, Dave 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Pitman, Jamie 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Platt, David 1
Plymouth Argyle 1
Poole, Glenn 1, 2
Port Vale 1
Poyet, Gus 1
Quinn, Jimmy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Raynor, Paul 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Raynor, Simon 1
Reading FC 1, 2
Rice, Pat 1, 2, 3
Rioch, Bruce 1, 2
Robinson, Theo 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Rochdale AFC 1, 2, 3, 4
Rolls, George 1
Rose, Matthew 1, 2, 3
Rose, Michael 1, 2
Rotherham United 1
Rowley, Steve 1, 2, 3
Rushden & Diamonds 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Rusk, Simon 1
St Albans City 1, 2
Savage, Robbie 1
Scarborough FC 1, 2
Scunthorpe United 1
Seaman, David 1
Selley, Ian 1, 2
semi-professional football 1, 2
Shearer, Scott 1
Shrewsbury Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Skiverton, Terry 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Sky TV 1, 2, 3, 4
Smith, Ben captaincy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
career, end of 1
career mistakes 1, 2, 3, 4
career record 1
coaching 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
contract negotiations 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
, 18, 19, 20
degree 1
first professional contract 1
fitness 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
injury 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16
League debut 1
‘Man of the Match’ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
out of contract 1
social life/drinking 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
teaching 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
TV 1
upbringing 1
wages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
Smith, Jonathan 1
Smith, Paul 1
Smith, Peter & Margaret 1
Southend United 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Southport FC 1, 2
Stevenage Borough 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Stimson, Mark 1, 2, 3, 4
Stockport County 1, 2, 3, 4
Sudbury, AFC 1, 2, 3
Swales, Steve 1, 2, 3
Swansea City 1
Swindon Town 1, 2, 3, 4
Syed, Matthew 1
Talbot, Brian 1
Tamworth FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Taylor, Kris 1, 2, 3
Telford United 1, 2, 3
Thompson, Steve 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Thurrock FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Torquay United 1
Torres, Sergio 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Tracey, Chris 1, 2
Tranmere Rovers 1, 2, 3
Trewick, John 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Trundle, Lee 1
Tubbs, Matt 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Turner, Graham 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25
Upson, Matthew 1
Valley Green 1, 2, 3
Wadsworth, Mick 1, 2, 3, 4
Walley, Tom 1, 2
Ward, John 1, 2, 3