She cupped my cheek. “Are you all right, Richard?”
I swallowed, turning my head, kissing her palm. I knew if I told her, she would understand. She always understood me. “It’s just all . . .”
“Overwhelming? Scary?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll handle it together.”
She was right. We handled everything together now. My wife was my rock. Still, I was worried.
I leaned closer. “I don’t want to fuck her up.”
She arched an eyebrow. We’d already had the “stop swearing so much” conversation—many times.
“Sorry. Mess her up the way my parents did me.”
“You won’t. I won’t let you.” She grinned mischievously. “Jenna and Laura would kick your ass, too.”
I arched my eyebrow, pretending to cover Gracie’s ears. “Now who’s swearing?”
“Ass is different.”
“I’ll remind you of that when she shouts it out in daycare.” I huffed. “Unless she’s telling some boy to keep his hands to himself. Then she can use the word ass as much as she wants.”
Katy rolled her eyes. “Let’s get her eating solid food and walking before we start thinking about boys and dating, okay?”
“Good idea. Walking I can handle. She can’t date until she’s thirty.”
“Good luck with that, Daddy.”
I sat down, cooing at Gracie who was watching us, her wide, blue eyes blinking and drowsy. “You’re Daddy’s girl, right? No icky boys for you.”
Katy muttered a mild curse, making me chuckle.
“I think Mommy is a little grumpy.” I pressed a kiss to Gracie’s forehead. “I think someone wore her out today.”
“You wear me out.”
“I like wearing you out.”
“I’m aware—hence the baby you’re holding.”
I smirked, settling Gracie into the crook of my arm. She fit perfectly there. I reclined in my seat, staring at my wife. The rounder she grew while carrying Gracie, the sexier I had found her, and the more I wanted her. The new curves and the way her body responded had been like aphrodisiacs to me—not that I needed much incentive when it came to Katy. Whereas she thought she was fat, I found her sexy and alluring. I proved it to her—many times.
Katy smiled lovingly at me, her voice gentle.
“You’re going to hold her all night, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
“I guess it puts your theory of not loving a child to rest.”
I frowned, looking down at Gracie. How I could have ever believed such a ridiculous idea now seemed so foreign to me. So wrong. I had fallen in love with her before I ever saw her on that ultrasound screen all those months ago. Then the first time I held her, I was encompassed with a love I never dreamed existed. As usual, Katy had been right.
“It was an inane theory.”
“It was how you coped.”
I stood, laying Gracie in her bassinet. I focused on my wife, stroking back her hair, gliding my finger down her cheek. I lifted her chin, kissing her soft lips. “That was all I did before I found you. I coped. Now I live.”
She beamed up at me. “You live well.”
“I do. I have a great job, a bunch of crazy friends who are like family, and the most amazing wife in the world—who today, gave me the best gift I’ve ever received.” I kissed her again. “I’m very lucky.”
“We’re the lucky ones. Gracie and me. We have you.”
“We have each other.” I winked at her cheekily. “I think I may want a few more just like her.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Um, maybe we can discuss that at a later date.”
“Sure. You’re young. We have time.”
Katy laughed. I always teased her about being younger than I was. In truth, although chronologically I had seven years on top of her twenty-six, she was far wiser than I would ever be.
I dropped another kiss on her mouth. “Now, go to sleep. We can go home tomorrow, and I want you to get some rest.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll doze in the chair.”
“The bed is pretty sturdy.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She shifted over. “Lots of room for you and Gracie.”
I paused, pursing my lips in thought. “I might get into trouble. If Shelly returns, she’ll order me out. She already thinks I’m trouble.”
“You are trouble. I doubt finding you beside me will shock her too much.” Her tone changed and became serious. “I would rest better with you holding me.”
That was all I needed. I scooped up Gracie and slid in beside Katy. I lifted my arm, letting her curl into my side with her head on my chest. I tucked Gracie against me and sighed in contentment. Once again, I had my family wrapped in my arms. Katy’s body grew heavy with sleep and soon her even breathing let me know she was resting. Gracie snuffled and squirmed, barely waking despite all the jostling. I was certain she’d be wide-awake soon enough.
I was too wired to sleep. I lay, thinking of the past months. All the love, joy, and laughter my life now contained. All the great moments.
I looked up toward the ceiling and winked.
“You seeing this, Penny? I got your girls—just as I promised.”
I knew, if she were here, she would smirk warmly at me and tell me she knew it all along. She’d say she wasn’t surprised it took me longer to figure it out since Katy was the smarter of the two of us.
With a grin, I tucked my family closer.
She’d be right.
Gracie’s cry had barely started, and I was out of bed. I hurried across the hall, scooping up my daughter, and cradling her to my chest.
“Hey, baby girl, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”
She settled against me, her tiny fists moving restlessly on my chest as she squirmed and fussed. I knew the fussing would soon turn into cries—something I couldn’t stand.
Tears never bothered me before. I could watch a woman sob and wail, and the only thing I felt was annoyed. The first time I saw Katy weep, my heart twisted with an emotion I didn’t understand. Soon enough I learned I hated to see my wife cry. It did something—brought forth a protective urge I never knew I had within me. I had to fix whatever was upsetting her, although much of the time it was me causing the problem. Therefore, I tried not to be an ass too much of the time, although Katy liked to remind me it was deeply ingrained in my psyche.
But my daughter—Gracie crying—brought me to my knees. I couldn’t bear the sounds of her shrill cries or the sight of the tears that ran down her face.
“Richard,” Katy’s voice broke through my musings. “You can’t keep doing this.”
I looked up at my wife standing in the doorway. With a smile, she handed me the bottle, and rubbed her hand down Gracie’s back in long, gentle strokes. I moved to the rocker, sitting down, and getting comfortable with Gracie in the crook of my elbow. I tested the milk, then slipped the nipple into her anxious mouth. The sounds of her greedy swallows made me grin. She had a voracious appetite.
“You’d think we never fed her.”
“She has your appetite. And your impatient streak.” Katy stated dryly.
I chuckled. She was correct on both counts.
She sat on the footstool, gazing at me. “We agreed I’d do the night shift. You have to go back to work tomorrow. You need your sleep.”
“I’m fine. She was crying.”
“She barely whimpered. She might have gone back to sleep.”
“I hate it when she cries,” I admitted. “I’d rather get up and hold her.”
“Richard—”
“I know,” I grumbled. I had read the books about letting them self-soothe, and not reacting to every noise. But this was different. This was my daughter.
“You’ll start falling asleep at your desk if you don’t let me handle the nights.”
“What about you?” I challenged.
“I can nap when she does. You already have someone cleaning the house, an
d bringing in meals. I don’t have much left to do but nap and look after Gracie.”
It took a lot of convincing, but I had insisted on making those arrangements. It was my way of caring for her.
“Good.” I frowned. “I don’t want to go back to work, if I’m being honest.”
She tilted her head. “You don’t trust me with your daughter?” she asked. Her tone was light, but I heard the worry in her voice.
I bent forward, pressing my mouth to hers. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I do. I trust you implicitly with our daughter. But for the first time in my life, I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay home. With the two of you.” I sighed heavily. “The last two weeks have gone by far too fast.”
She leaned forward, brushing my hair off my forehead. “Richard, we’ll be here when you get home. And I can bring her down to see you for lunch.”
“I know.”
She smiled at me. My favorite of all Katy’s smiles. It was my smile—filled with the love she showed only to me. “What’s wrong, my darling? This isn’t like you.”
She was right. I hadn’t changed that much—I was still the practical, no-nonsense one. I approached everything with the same can-do attitude. Everything, that was, except my family. It was entirely different. I met Katy’s concerned stare and inhaled deeply. I knew I could tell her what I was feeling and she would understand.
She always understood.
“She changes every day. I feel like I’m going to miss something,” I confessed. “I won’t be here to hear her first words or watch her first steps.” I sighed trying to explain. “I feel as if I’ve been given a gift and I don’t want to squander it. I suppose that sounds crazy, weak even, but it’s how I feel.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy or weak. It sounds like a father who loves his child.” She studied me. “You never give yourself enough credit. You’ve come so far, Richard. I’m very proud of you.”
I ducked my head at her praise. I had changed—I knew that. I was still changing. Having Gracie now brought out a whole new level of emotions, and I was having a hard time acclimating myself to them.
“This is new to both of us, you know,” she added. “I worry, too.”
“You seem so calm all the time.”
She shook her head. “I must hide it well. I’m a mess, constantly second-guessing myself and every decision I make.”
Her words surprised me. “I think you’re amazing.”
“I feel the same way about you.”
“We’re a good team.” I mused. “Even if we’re both a hot mess.”
“We’ll figure it out together. And we’ll miss you, but you need to go back to work.”
“I could quit. I don’t have to work.”
She chuckled. “And in about a month, you would be going crazy, no matter how much you love Gracie. You would miss it too much and be begging Graham to take you back.”
She was right. She was always right.
Katy rubbed my hand that was holding Gracie. “Richard, she’s three weeks old. She won’t be walking or talking for a while. And you could work from your office here, and she might still say Dada for the first time while you’re out of the room.”
I interrupted her. “You think she’ll say Dada first?”
She laughed with a shake of her head. “I have no doubt you’ll do everything you can to make sure of it.”
I sighed. “You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s probably just . . . hormones talking.”
Her eyes widened. “Um, hormones? I think that’s my department.”
“Sympathy ones.” I lifted one shoulder. “There’s been a lot of them around the place lately.”
She chuckled. “I’ll give you that. You’re surrounded by estrogen now.” She leaned closer, kissing me. “I promise, I’ll send you videos and pictures every day. And if I think she’s going to talk, I’ll video it for you.”
“When her butt starts to wiggle . . .”
“Yep. On it. Maybe once she starts crawling, we can have Jenna do a walking countdown. She can build one of her infamous charts. You can work from home.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you making fun of me?”
“No. Never.”
I pulled the bottle away, and lifted Gracie to my shoulder, patting her back. “I think you are.”
“Maybe a little.” She kissed me. “But I love you so much because you want to be here.” She met my eyes. “Quite a change from the Richard I first met.”
I snorted. “He was an ass.”
She quirked her eyebrow.
I pouted, hoping for another kiss, which I got. Gracie chose that moment to let out a loud belch and promptly filled her diaper.
Holy fuck. For something so cute, she could still make me gag on occasion. This was one of them.
The stench was horrendous.
I stood, holding my breath. “You’re right. I need to sleep.” I dropped a fast kiss to Gracie’s cheek and handed her off to Katy. “All yours.”
I hurried away, my eyes smarting from not breathing. But I could still smell it.
Katy laughed behind me. “Daddy’s still an ass,” she crooned to Gracie.
“I know,” I called. I was okay with that. At least I could breathe.
Katy
I woke up, hearing soft whispers. I rolled over, guessing correctly that Richard had once again gotten out of bed and was in the nursery. His side of the bed was vacant, and the monitor lit up as he spoke to our daughter while feeding her. I loved hearing him chat to her. Richard never minced words—not even with me. He was a straight shooter and spoke his mind. He showed me a gentler side when we fell in love, but his personality never changed much. He was still demanding and blunt. He had learned, however, to rein in the harsher side of his character, and knew how to deal with people now. At least most of the time.
But with Gracie he was different.
With her, he was soft. That was the only way to describe it. He changed completely with her. She brought forth the tender, loving man in him. He hurried home at night, anxious to be with us. He reached for her as soon as he came in the door, ready to forget businessman Richard, and assume the role of Daddy. He laughed and made funny faces, he read her books, and did voices to make her gurgle and smile. He told her amusing stories of his clients, using a singsong voice, even when he cursed. I had admonished him over it, but he simply looked at me, flummoxed.
“The book, Katy,” he insisted. “The book said at this early stage she doesn’t understand the words, it’s the tone. Fuck is just like blanket to her. All of it is gibberish. I keep my tone light, and it makes her happy.”
“If her first word is a curse, you’re explaining that to Graham.”
“Pretty sure Graham won’t be shocked.”
“Laura might box your ears.”
“I’d like to see her try.”
“Richard—”
“I’ll tone it down.” He turned his head, cooing at Gracie who stared up at him from his broad shoulder, her blue eyes fixed on his face. “Mommy is such a worrywart.”
She flapped her little gums, and I held back my grin, knowing what would happen next. She opened her mouth and spewed on him, the splatter dripping down his expensive dress shirt. Once again he had neglected to use a towel.
I had to walk away I was laughing so hard. He never learned.
But right now, there were no curse words. There was Richard, murmuring low to Gracie. I had given up fighting him about nights. In the weeks since he’d returned to work, I realized this was their time. He’d talk and croon to her. I swore I heard him giggle. And he’d sing.
He had the worst singing voice I had ever heard. It was off key and sounded like someone dying in the bathtub. He only ever sang when they were alone. I made the mistake of giggling once when he tried to warble the song from Frozen, thinking she’d like it. I gaped for a minute at the odd noise coming from his throat. I was so used to him being good at everything, that finding something he wasn’t perfect at cau
ght me off guard. He glared, huffed, and strode out of the room with her, leaving me snorting on the sofa. After that, he refused to sing in front of me.
I loved to hear him anyway, and so did Gracie. There was no doubt she was Daddy’s girl, and he soothed her better than anyone—including me.
She was fussier than normal tonight. And I was restless. I sat up, pushing my hair back from my head, listening to them.
“Hey, baby girl, what’s going on?” he murmured. “You need something? Tell Daddy and he’ll do it.”
Gracie gurgled and kept fussing. There was some movement, and then the soft strains of music. Richard began to hum, the sound low, and nowhere near as bad as his singing. Gracie snuffled loudly and began to quiet down. I slipped out of bed and padded across the hall, stopping in the doorway. My chest tightened at the sight before me.
Richard, tall, broad, and bare chested, cradling his daughter close, and dancing with her. She was tucked high on his chest, with his cheek resting on her head. Her tiny hand was encased inside his, and he held her protectively. No doubt his humming was soothing to her, rumbling through his chest and lulling her into peace.
Tears filled my eyes watching them. The cold-hearted man I first knew was gone and replaced by this protector who would do anything to care for his child. To care for me.
I sniffled and began to back out to leave them, when his head lifted. He met my eyes, and held out his hand, beckoning me to them. I crossed the room. He drew me close, still moving, and pressed a kiss to my head. He wrapped his arm around me, and we moved, a small family wrapped together in the dark.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” he murmured.
“I heard you and came to see what you were doing.”
“She likes it when we dance.”
“You never told me that.”
He shrugged in the dim light. “It’s sort of our thing when she’s really fussy.”
The Baby Clause 2.0 (The Contract #1.75) Page 2