by Lilian, Lory
Later, though Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam had left long before, Elizabeth still was unable to attend to any of her cousin’s remarks.
Chapter 13
Despite their desires and expectations, no invitation for dinner arrived that evening from Rosings—nor did one arrive in the next several days. Furthermore, it rained two days in a row—a cold, sharp, spring rain that kept them all inside. Between her cousin’s poor library and his endless stories regarding Lady Catherine, together with his delight at having been visited by Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth found little to keep her mind from further struggles, questions and restrained hopes.
The morning of the third day, Mr. Collins’s loudly expressed joy was a clear indication that the long-awaited invitation had arrived.
For the first time since she arrived in Kent, Elizabeth wondered whether she had a proper gown for such an auspicious dinner and whether Charlotte’s maid would know how to fix her hair. Annoyed by her own childish behaviour, she found a better way to calm her nerves: she left for a walk before anyone could offer to keep her company.
As she enjoyed the beauty of the grounds, her steps took her towards Rosings. She stopped for a moment, admiring the splendid gardens; Mr. Collins might have exaggerated in many ways, but his praise of Rosings’s gardens was well merited.
She heard her name called and turned to see Colonel Fitzwilliam hurrying to her. His expression was nothing but happy, and she could do little else than smile at him.
“Miss Bennet, such a pleasure to see you! This weather was killing me. If I had to stay one more day inside, I would become ill, mark my words.”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam. You become ill from indoor air; I understand.” She laughed. “I have to say I sympathise with you completely, sir.
“Upon my word, I have not slept so much in years, yet I do not remember the last time I felt so tired. Are you going somewhere, Miss Bennet?”
“No sir, I was just walking and enjoying the gardens of Rosings.” She smiled.
“May I keep you company, then?”
“Certainly,” she said as she took his offered arm and they walked together along the garden path. She wished to inquire after Darcy, but she did not dare.
“So, Miss Bennet, we shall have dinner together, I hear—such a delightful diversion.”
“Lady Catherine was kind enough to invite us.”
“Lady Catherine is all kindness,” the colonel replied, and Elizabeth laughed.
“Her kindness does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. There are few people who would be as grateful as my cousin for all her ladyship’s attention.”
“I have no doubt of that. Mr. Collins has already visited us today to express his gratitude.”
She blushed slightly, embarrassed by her cousin’s behaviour. The colonel seemed oblivious to her uneasiness and continued. “Mr. Collins was very fortunate in choosing his wife—strangely and unexpectedly fortunate. Mrs. Collins appears to be a very sensible lady.”
“She is, indeed. However, it is possible to say that she was fortunate, too.”
“I have many doubts about that,” the colonel replied, and Elizabeth tried to hide her laughter.
“Charlotte seems perfectly happy, and in a prudential light, it is certainly a good match for her. As long as she is content, I cannot but be content for her.”
“I am certain that your opinion about marriage is different. I somehow doubt that you would judge the prospect of a match only in a prudential light.”
“My own opinion is of little importance in this, Colonel. May I ask—how are Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh?” she tried to change the subject, slightly uncomfortable.
“My aunt is busy with something—not sure what—and I confess I am not curious to find out. Anne was taking a walk with Darcy; I think they are still somewhere in the garden. Oh, here they are!” the colonel exclaimed, pointing to a spot in a corner of the garden.
Not far away, somewhat protected by some rose bushes, were Mr. Darcy and Miss de Bourgh, walking arm in arm at a slow pace. Elizabeth had the impression that they had spotted them, too. Before Elizabeth could say a word, the colonel called his cousin, waving to him. A few moments later, they had moved closer, greeting each other.
“I found Miss Bennet hiding in the back garden, and I was just telling her how pleased I was to see her. These last days have been so boring; I could not bear any longer the silence of Rosings. Nobody sings, nobody plays, nobody laughs. I so look forward to dinner tonight!”
Elizabeth startled, embarrassed by the colonel’s inconsiderate remark. Did he not see that Miss de Bourgh was present? How could he declare he was bored spending time in her house and in her company? She briefly met Darcy’s eyes and noticed his own uneasiness. At his side, Miss de Bourgh became paler, and her hand clenched her cousin’s arm.
“Rosings is beautiful, inside and out,” said Mr. Darcy. “I am certain you could have found something with which to amuse yourself if you were willing to do it.”
“I have rarely seen a house and surroundings as beautiful as Rosings,” Elizabeth approved. “And from what I saw, there is a beautiful library and a beautiful music room…”
“Yes, but nobody uses them.” The colonel laughed again.
“I am sorry…” Miss de Bourgh whispered self consciously, her eyes to the ground.
“No need to be sorry, Anne. I am sure Miss Bennet will play for us tonight,” the colonel said.
Elizabeth glanced to Darcy, and his discomfort was obvious. She smiled at Miss de Bourgh, but she avoided Elizabeth’s gaze. “I feel a little tired. I shall return home,” she whispered.
“As you wish,” Darcy replied. “Let us return. Good day, Miss Bennet…Robert…”
They departed together while the colonel offered his arm to Elizabeth again.
“Poor Anne, she is not accustomed to staying outside long. It is better for her to rest as much as she can. Well, Miss Bennet, where to? Do you have a special place you would like to see?”
“No, not particularly. In fact…if you do not mind, Colonel, I think I shall go and rest a little too. Then I need to prepare for dinner. Shall I see you later?”
“You most certainly shall, Miss Bennet. And I do mind a little, as you force me to retire to lifeless Rosings too soon; that is not very kind of you. For this, you must play at least twice tonight. And I shall turn the pages for you; it is settled.”
“We shall see.” She smiled. He kept her company until they approached the parsonage. Not partial to the prospect of returning to Rosings alone, the colonel stood for another half an hour, allowing himself to be amused by Mr. Collins’s meaningless conversation and by Maria’s anxiety.
As soon as the colonel left, Elizabeth excused herself and went to her chamber. Her heart felt heavy and restless from the moment she saw Darcy with Miss de Bourgh. Though she reasoned that it was unlikely Mr. Darcy was bound in any way to his cousin, there was no doubt that Mr. Darcy had tender feelings for Miss de Bourgh, which was perfectly reasonable.
Two months earlier, he made her an offer of marriage, but how could she be certain of his present feelings? She had rejected him; it would be reasonable that he turn to someone who cared for him and welcomed his attentions. He admitted that he had come to Kent with the special purpose of meeting her, but that very day, he behaved coldly again—he barely looked at her and did not speak more than two words to her. How could she understand his intentions? And she would meet him again that evening. How should she behave?
After an hour, she lost patience. She tried to read, but her mind seemed drawn away, and time passed painfully slowly. She took her pelisse and her bonnet and left again, this time away from Rosings. She was not in the mood for company; she only needed exercise so she could rest before dinner. A long walk would do perfectly well.
So lost was she in her thoughts that she did not hear the voice calling her name. She looked around, a little nervous, only to see Darcy appear from behind the trees.
> He dismounted and greeted her with gentle politeness. Elizabeth’s only hope was that he would not notice her embarrassment.
“Mr. Darcy…this is the second time we have met so unexpectedly, sir.” She forced a smile. “Such a coincidence that your riding paths always cross my walks.”
“It is no coincidence; I was looking for you. I just called at the parsonage, and Mrs. Collins was surprised not to find you in your room.”
“I imagine so; I was careless to leave without telling her. She was not too worried, I hope?”
“No, not too worried.” He smiled. “I assured her that I would look for you and bring you back home safely. But I am surprised to find you so far from the house. Did you walk here?”
She laughed and blushed, looking at her shoes, dirty with mud. “I obviously did. I have to say I am similarly surprised to find myself so far. I am afraid I will not return in time for dinner.”
“Of course you will; take my horse, and you will be at the parsonage in no time. As soon as you get there, just release him; he will return to me on his own.”
She stared at him—eyes wide. “Surely you mock me.”
“No, I do not. Do not worry about the horse; we have been together since his birth. He will come back to me.”
“I…I can barely dare to look at your horse; nothing on earth would entice me to ride him.”
“Very well, than we must find another way. I could go home and return with a carriage. Or, we can return through the wood; I still remember a few shortcuts.”
She hesitated a moment, unable to take her eyes from his smiling ones. He was positively amused, his face bright, a mischievous twist on his lips.
“What if we return together?”
“It will take us at least an hour to walk back.”“Very well, I shall take the offer with the shortcuts. And please do not think your help is unappreciated, sir, as well as your sacrifice to walk rather than ride.”
“As I said on a previous occasion, please do not thank me for what I do willingly.”
She dared a quick glance at him then began to walk at a fast pace. “Miss Bennet? On the left, please,” his voice stopped her, and she obeyed instantly.
“We will climb a small hill then go down and trespass the grove behind the parsonage, and we are there,” he said, offering his arm, which she took instantly.
“It sounds very easy and fast…like a short stroll around the house.” She laughed.
“Yes, almost. You must be careful; the grass is wet and slippery.”
After a few moments, Elizabeth looked back and continued to do so from time to time.
“Is something wrong, Miss Bennet?”
“No, not really, but…the horse is actually following us. And he is free, is he not? You are not holding the reins… He is like an enormous, black, restless shadow.”
“Black, restless shadow… I think Thunder would like your description. Why are you surprised? I told you he would follow me. Did you believe I deceived you?”
“His name is Thunder? Well, that certainly puts my mind at ease. I am most eager to ride him at the first opportunity… Thunder…” Darcy laughed out loud.
“Have you ever ridden, Miss Bennet? Have you always disliked horses?”
“I have ridden a few times, but each time I felt more anxiety than enjoyment. Papa said I fell from a horse when I was five. I have no memory of it, but the fear has remained. However, I like horses very much; they are beautiful animals, and I love watching them—from afar. I think the last time I rode I was fifteen.”
They walked in silence for a short while. “Look, you can see the parsonage already.”
“Excellent. I am glad we will arrive in time; my cousin would never forgive me if we were late for dinner.”
“Nor would Lady Catherine, you know…” He appeared serious, but the mirth in his eyes betrayed him. “Nor the colonel… He seemed anxious to hear you play and sing.”
“Yes, the colonel… May I ask where he is? He seemed desperate to return to Rosings earlier today. Why is he not riding with you?”
“I…did not inform him of my plan to ride,” he replied with some hesitation; she turned to him and their eyes met for a moment.
“And Miss de Bourgh? She seemed unwell when I met her. Perhaps she was just tired? I hope she was better after she rested.”
“I am sure she is better; I have not spoken to her since we returned home. I believe she was tired indeed.”
“You seem close to Miss de Bourgh. She was… It is obvious she trusts you very much. She looked like she felt safe in your company.”
“I am close to Anne, indeed. She is the reason I come to Rosings every year around Easter,” he admitted. A strange silence followed, only the wind blowing through the trees and the heavy steps of Thunder behind them could be heard.
“I am as close to Anne as I am to Selina. They both are as dear as sisters to me. But Selina has a large family who adore her, and Anne is alone most of the time…with my aunt, I mean, but…she rarely receives other guests except us.”
She said nothing; as from its own will, her hand tightened the hold of his arm, and he continued.
“Robert is fond of Anne, too. He would never do anything to hurt her on purpose.” He did not say more, but his meaning was impossible to miss.
“I am sure he is. But he is not always careful with his words.” Elizabeth smiled.
“You seem close to Robert,” Darcy said, his voice lower.
“The colonel is one of the most pleasant gentlemen I have ever met. He is amiable and smart and possesses such friendly manners that make everyone easy around him. I enjoy his presence exceedingly,” Elizabeth said, glancing at him. His countenance was stern, and his gaze was searching somewhere ahead. She felt his arm tensing.
“Robert has been praised for his manners and for his friendly behaviour. I am glad you enjoy his company; he is an excellent man, and I know he admires you very much.”
He continued to walk carefully, his eyes fixed ahead. Elizabeth tried to keep pace, still holding his arm, her head turned to him, puzzled by his cold attitude. For a moment, she felt offended and was tempted to tell him that he could learn some manners from his cousin.
“Robert and I are very different,” he said, his voice even lower. Revelation turned her cheeks crimson as she tried to hide the welcoming warmth that touched her heart. Is he jealous?
“I do enjoy his company very much,” she admitted, her voice as low as his. “In truth, I always feel at ease with him. I am never nervous in his presence, I never wonder what he might think of me, and I never struggle to guess the meaning behind his words. I know he admires me, but his admiration does not trouble me at all. I admire him too in the same way I believe I would admire a brother…if I had one.”
From the corner of her eye, she noticed he had turned his head and was staring at her, but she dared not meet his gaze. Her eyes searched the grass and the trees around them, fighting to hide a smile that threatened to escape her lips. Yes, jealous, indeed!
The walk followed peacefully and silently. Neither spoke, nor did they look at each other until the parsonage was in view. They walked down the hill and crossed a small, wild garden. After a few more steps, they stopped; in front of them was a brook, which ran along the main path, separating the parsonage gardens from the rest of the estate. Due to the rain in the last days, the small stream was larger and deeper than usual; the water barely reached Darcy’s ankles, but Elizabeth had to stop.
She cast a quiet glance around and then turned to Darcy.
“Well, here we are, only minutes from the house. What should we do now, sir?”
He held her gaze, uncertain how to reply and unable to conceal his amusement.
“As far as I see, we only have two options: Thunder can take you to the other side, or…”
She laughed nervously. “I already like the second option better…”
“Or I can take you to the other side.”
She stared at him, her ey
es and mouth wide. “Excuse me?”
“I could easily carry you to the other side. It would take but a moment.”
“Or I could pass through the water myself and be home in a few minutes.”
“True. But it might be difficult to explain why you were missing for so long and returned wet and dirty.” He smiled, strangely well humoured, and she took a deep breath, half-upset and half-amused by the situation and by his attempt at mockery. Yet, he had a point. She looked towards the house once more; she was certain she spied Mr. Collins in the garden. She took one more step and watched the horse carefully.
“Will you hold the reins? That is, if I am ever able to reach the saddle.”
“Of course,” Darcy replied.
He took her gloved hand and put it slowly on the horse’s strong neck, then covered her hand with his and moved her fingers against the horse’s shining skin. She stood still, looking at the splendid animal; she could feel Darcy’s protective presence behind her. She turned and faced him from mere inches away.
“Let me help you,” he said, and a moment later, she felt herself held and lifted; she barely had time to take a breath before she was settled in the saddle. She clasped her hands, afraid that she would fall any minute.
“Are you comfortable, Miss Bennet?”
“No, I am not. But the situation will not improve any time soon.”
He laughed, and his hand briefly caressed her arm. “It will take only a minute.”
He took the reins and walked slowly; the horse followed him instantly, stepping in the water. Elizabeth sighed, and her heart skipped a beat. Darcy turned to her, walking backward so he could watch her carefully. She smiled at him. “I am fine.”
“Good.” They were shortly on the other side, and Darcy stopped—as did the horse. Elizabeth dared to look around; only then did she realise how tall the stallion was.
Darcy stretched his hands to her; she hesitated only an instant before allowing herself to slide down. She felt his arms surrounding her, and she was imprisoned for a moment. He released her immediately and stepped back.