“Yeah, I’m fine. Go ahead.” I couldn’t help but laugh as he stormed out of the room.
“Why did Jake just leave?” I saw Jackie’s head pop in my room.
“No idea. Why?” I continued to unpack as she made herself comfortable.
“I want to get to know him. If you know what I mean.” She was so stunning I’m sure Jake wouldn’t ever be able to resist.
“Then go for it,” I tried to act like I didn’t care but inside it was killing me slowly.
“You sure you won’t be mad? I mean you, had him first.” Was our past that easy to read?
“No it’s fine, honestly. Go for it,” I laughed a little, hiding the hurt.
“You’re the best. Oh, party tonight. I’m coming over and picking you up. Wear something slutty,” she grinned and left with a shake in the hips.
Later that night Jackie came over, as promised, in something way sluttier than what I owned— and I thought I had some pretty slutty stuff. I never wore it but I had it for some reason and I suppose this was the reason.
“You look hot,” she watched me put on the rest of my makeup.
“Oh my gosh, not even. You’re like ten times prettier than me. So what happened with you and Jake?” When he came back from wherever, he seemed normal so I hadn’t had a chance to even think about it.
“I waited ‘till he came back, stopped him, got his number. We’re hanging out this weekend,” she grinned wickedly.
“Well I need to stay away from men for a while. I promised myself I would.” I put on my bright red lipstick.
“Sounds awful,” she moaned.
“You have no idea how bad my luck is with men,” I sighed.
“Well then let’s change that. Ready to go?” she hopped off of my bed and stood by me.
“Yep. So what do you think of this whole co-ed bathroom thing?” We walked down the hall as people passed by us in party clothes.
“I love it. I can basically get away with whatever I want in there.” Yeah, I had the feeling she was a girl that got around.
“Where is this party?” More people started passing us.
“It’s about a block away at this club. One of the kids that goes here, their dad owns a club and he closes it off twice a year for us to have this major blowout party. It’s a blast. I’ve been to a couple.”
“I thought you said you were a freshman?” I felt confused as we followed the crowd down the block.
“Nope pretty sure you misheard, I’m a sophomore.” she grinned.
“Jackie, who’s the friend?” I heard a guy approach us from behind.
“Who’s asking?” She was the shit and I could tell.
“Jesse,” he put his lips right up to the back of her ear and I could tell he was smooth.
“Jesse! Hey, sexy!Haven’t seen you in forever.” We stopped walking and she hugged him.
“Been busy. I’ve been working my ass off so I could afford my new place,” he shrugged. He looked familiar like I knew him from somewhere but I wasn’t sure where.
“Oh my gosh! Jesse, this is Ali. Sexy, right?” Quite the introduction.
“You could say that. You squat?” his blue eyes pierced into me.
“Yeah, I work out a lot,” I felt a little shy.
“Hun, isn’t dancing enough?” Jackie laughed.
“Apparently not for her,” he bit his bottom lip and nearly made my panties drop.
“Well I’ll let you two chat a little. I found some new freshman a little farther up. Catch up to you later, sweetie.” She kissed my cheek and walked off without me.
“Is she always like that?” I continued walking with Jesse by my side.
“Not always. She’s got a different side to her but she’s guarded. I’m surprised she even befriended you. She has no friends that are girls,” he laughed a little. I recognized that laugh.
“This might sound weird, but you seem really familiar,” I brushed my bangs behind my ears.
“You know I was thinking the same thing about you.” His smile made the night a little brighter.
“Well, let the great mystery begin,” I grinned.
“Jackie was right. You’re gorgeous,” he stuck his hands in his pockets.
“She actually called me “sexy” but close enough,” I looked up at him from under my lashes.
“That she did. Keep up, Ali.” He wrapped his arm around me and we entered the club. The music was blasting and everybody’s bodies were pressed against each other on the dance floor. The bar was practically a free for all. I had no idea how we were getting away with this but I didn’t care.
“You want something to drink?” Jesse spoke over the music.
“A Manhattan, please,” I let myself relax and spoke directly into his ear.
“Hey, good looking,” I heard a guy come up from behind and he swung his arm around me.
“Um, hi?” He was obviously a few drinks down.
“The name’s Eric,” he held out his free hand.
“Ali. Should I know you?” Jesse sat there waiting for our drinks.
“No, but would you like to?” he got a little closer than what I wanted.
“Eric, back off. She’s new.” Jesse turned around with my drink and I took it gladly as I felt Eric’s arm leave my body.
“My apologies, Ali,” he grabbed Jesse’s beer.
“Fucker,” Jesse turned to order another.
“You two know each other?” I took a sip of my drink.
“We’ve been roommates since freshmen year.” Eric took a few drinks.
“Wait. How old are you?” If they were seniors, I might have to split. That’s two years older than Jake even.
“Oh, sweetheart. In New York and in college, age is only a number,” Jesse’s smile grew.
“Seniors. Too old?” Eric said into my ear.
“Who said I was even interested?” I played off my nerves well and they laughed.
“I like this one,” Eric nudged Jesse.
“Wanna dance?” Jesse said as I heard the intense pop and rap turn to Luke Bryan.
“Yes, I love this song.” The floor started to clear more and I knew I was one of the few that knew how to line dance. I started off and Jesse followed and a lot of others watched. I heard a few people ask “Who is she?” and “Dang, she’s good.” I felt proud, like I was blossoming and maybe I’d just keep growing and growing.
“You’re good,” Jesse continued watching my steps as I danced to “That’s my Kinda Night.”
“I’m originally from Colorado. Of course I am.” The song finished and I heard cheers erupt. The microphone turned on and a voice came over the speakers.
“Hey, little lady, what’s your name?” Yep, I was blushing.
“It’s Ali,” someone yelled, I looked around and of course it was Jackie.
“Fellas, I think little miss Ali is single,” the mic cut. After that and I felt guys erupt.
“Looks like you’ve made it, Ali,” Jesse wrapped his arms around my waist and we kept dancing to the usual music.
This was something I had been waiting for. I felt like I was slowly discovering who I was.
“I need a breather.” We started to stammer off the dance floor.
“Want something to drink?” Jesse held my hand as we headed to the bar. We’d danced for a couple of songs. It wasn’t anything serious but he was so hot and the fact that we’ve met before makes him all the more attractive.
“You two! We’re doing body shots!” Jackie pulled my arm and Jesse followed.
“Who wants to take a shot off Ali?” She modeled me off but most of the guys already recognized me from the dancing.
“I am not doing this,” I tried backing out but she wouldn’t hear it.
“We’re charging ten bucks a shot for you and you get it all. Come on! It’s a special selection.” She was insane.
“Fine, okay. But no yuckie guys.” I laid down.
“Hun, we don’t have “yuckie” guys at this school, haven’t you noticed?�
� She was right. The selection here was impeccable.
“I’m going first,” Jesse handed me a ten.
“No, you’re free,” I gave it back to him and grinned.
He placed the salt on my neck, my most sensitive area and I nearly swooned when he licked the salt off. The shot was placed between my push -up bra, and it enhanced my breasts .When he did it, he went painfully slow, making me want to grab him right there and take advantage of him. The lime was placed between my lips, as it should it be, and right as he reached for it, the lime slipped and our lips met.
“Well, Liss, seems like we messed that part up,” he leaned back and grinned.
“The airport,” I sat up.
“What about it?” He looked at me like I just went from hot and fun to crazy and weird.
“That’s where we met. I remember because I’ve never had anyone call me Liss for a nickname,” I pulled my dress up a little.
“Now I remember!” he helped me down.
“Wait! Ali, you’re done? Come on! Don’t be a downer!” Jackie was defeated but I didn’t care.
Jesse and I continued dancing for a bit and as we were sitting down for another drink, my phone went off. I read the screen and it was Jake calling.
“What is it, Jake?” I wasn’t expecting him to call, especially after the afternoon we had.
“Come to my place,” he sounded drunk.
“Jake, you’re drunk,” I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Please, I need you kind of right now,” his slurred words sounded genuine.
“Yeah, alright. I’ll be right over,” I hung up the phone.
“Boyfriend?” Jesse looked concerned.
“No, I don’t have one. It’s a friend of mine. He sorta sounds desperate right now. I gotta go.” I felt terrible.
“I get it. Don’t sweat it. I’ll get you a cab,” Jesse grabbed my hand and we headed outside.
“Thank you so much for everything.” I started to feel a light sprinkle come down.
“Here’s my number. I don’t want this to be a one night deal. Oh, and Liss? Don’t be late for class,” he smirked at me, his dimples showing, and turned back to the club.
“Jake?” I walked into his dimly lit apartment.
“Ali Cat? Ali where are you?” I heard his voice echo from down the hall.
“I’m here, Jake.” I headed in his direction and when I saw him, he looked like complete shit.
“Ali!” He ran into me with a force that almost knocked me to the ground.
“What’s wrong, Jake? What’s going on?” I started looking around and the place was trashed.
“It’s my parents.” I held him close as he began sobbing.
“Okay, hun. Let’s just get you to your bed first.” I helped carry him to the bed.
“My parents, Ali. As much as they hurt me,” he stopped and began crying again and at this point I could only expect the worst.
“Jake, hun, talk to me. Look at me,” I held him at arms’ length.
“They’re dead, God damnit! They got into a crash on their way home from the airport,” he was now yelling at me. I couldn’t believe it. After everything that life has thrown at him and his brother, now this?
“Okay, okay. Just come here.” I brought him back to me and held him against my chest so he couldn’t see me cry too.
“Ali, I need you right now. Please don’t leave me,” he held me tight.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I set my phone alarm for 8. My first class wasn’t until 11. I wasn’t too worried, but I wanted to make sure he was okay.
“I love you so much,” he looked at me.
“I love you too, Jake.” And I did. I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t, especially now that he really needed me.
“I have to leave tomorrow. Carter will be here tomorrow to fly with me to San Diego. We have to take care of funeral arrangements and shit,” he wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked at me.
“Should I come with?” I searched his eyes for an answer.
“No, you have your life here. The funeral won’t be for a week or two,” he sniffled and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose quickly.
“Are you sure? I can come if you two need me.” I would drop out this semester if he needed me that badly.
“Listen to me. If you drop out or something stupid for me, I will never speak to you again. This is my problem. I don’t want you to drop your life for my problem.” He started to pull away and that was scarier than seeing him cry.
“I won’t. I’ll stay in school. But only for you,” I gulped, hoping I would pull him back to me.
“I don’t care why you stay just as long as you do,” he looked at me again and our stares dug into each other’s souls.
“Well, then good,” I smiled.
“You’re so beautiful,” he brushed his face against my cheek.
“Jake, you don’t want to do something you’ll regret,” I knew where he was going with all this.
“Maybe I want this. Maybe I’ve wanted this since yesterday or for months, but I’ve just been waiting for the right moment.” His lips were against mine.
“Jake, I miss you so much but this could end badly.” It always has anyways.
“Let’s not let it,” he whispered as he moved his hands to the bare part of my back.
“Jake, I really want to but you’re so fragile,” I pushed away and he just looked at me in awe.
“Ali, this is what I need right now. Your touch, your lips, your skin against mine, your eyes piercing into me. I need that now more than ever. I just need to feel close to you.” He grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his waist.
“I don’t know. This sounds like it could end painfully. Haven’t we put each other through enough pain?” I couldn’t look at him. I knew what I was saying could end badly, especially with his emotions right now.
“Ali Cat, look at me,” he instructed me and I obliged.
“Yes, Jake?” I felt the energy between us again and I suddenly felt bound to him.
“Do you want to make love with me? Don’t think about the bad things that could come. Just answer. Do you want to make love with me? Yes or no?” The electricity pulled us tighter together and I knew what my heart wanted no matter what my mind was telling me.
I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded “yes.” And so we did.
I woke up the next morning not to the sound of my alarm but to the sound of things breaking. The sun was just starting to rise and I felt very disoriented, especially after all the alcohol I had had the night before. I got up and heard two voices yelling at each other. It could only be Carter and Jake. I hurried out to the hallway and ran to the kitchen only to see a few broken plates on the ground and Jake pointing his finger at Carter while watching Carter bawl his eyes out.
“Jake, stop it!” I yelled louder than the both of them. They stopped and looked at me and I could see the pure pain in Carter’s eyes.
“Carter,” I wrapped him in my arms and he let his body go limp.
“It’s all my fault, Al.” He shook in my arms.
“No, it’s not Carter. It was an accident. This sort of stuff just happens.” I pointed to the dishes and pointed at Jake. As I led Carter to the living room Jake began picking up his mess.
“They were coming back from visiting me, Ali. This is all because of me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have no one.” He sobbed into my shoulder and I just held him close to me.
“You’re damn straight. As shitty as our parents were they were still our parents. As far as I’m concerned you lost me too, Carter,” Jake yelled.
“Jake! Damn it, knock it off. Don’t say things you’ll regret. I mean it. Pick up your mess and shut your mouth.” I couldn’t even believe he was blaming this on Carter.
“Carter, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned you up,” I lifted his face up and brushed back his hair.
“Will you help?” he sniffled.
“Of course I will.” I helped him off the couch and Jake practical
ly glared at me. I knew this would happen.
“You do anything and I swear,” he whispered loudly to me.
“Don’t worry about it, Jake,” I walked off.
I started the shower and grabbed a towel while Carter got undressed. Right now I was numb to all sexual things and I’m sure Carter was too. Jake and Carter were different like that.
“Hop in. It’s warm.” I helped him step over the tub.
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m pathetic,” he said, his limp shoulders facing me. I felt bad for the boys.
“No, I don’t. You’re in pain. That’s okay.” I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and began lathering up his hair before he washed it out.
“We leave at 10. I don’t know if Jake told you or not.” Carter was trying to make small talk.
“He didn’t,” I grabbed some body soap and started washing his chest.
“I know you two were together last night. It’s okay.” I didn’t know what to say to that.
“Every time we try to work, something happens. I get it. I was too late. Again,” he leaned against the shower wall.
“Carter, don’t feel like being with me is some sort of competition,” I rinsed the soap off my hands and leaned against the edge.
“I don’t think it is but I’ve wanted to be with you since I first met you. Every time I get a hold of you, you slip away.” He looked so defeated in every way and this made me yearn for him.
“Carter, I’m not with Jake. I’m not with anyone for that matter. You haven’t lost me yet,” I kissed him sweetly on the cheek.
After he got out of the shower, it was about 7 in the morning. I got him dressed and we headed back out to the living room where Jake sat quietly letting tears roll down softly. I sat in between them and just held them both while they cried. These boys had no one anymore. They were alone and that was it. Besides a few aunts and uncles, it was just them. They only had each other left and I’d be damned if I didn’t make sure they stayed close with one another. My new mission, keep the boys that held my heart safe and close.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” I hugged Carter quickly before he got into the cab.
“See you,” he smiled softly.
“Jake, thank you for last night. Remember what we said. Let’s not let it end badly.”
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