“See?” Boar said from a few paces away. “He said it too.”
“It’s different!” Pyro laughed.
“He’s my good boy.” Tank stroked Clover’s hair. “Greedy, sexy, and pliant. What’s not to love?”
It felt as if Tank was saying this for Drake’s benefit, for encouragement, but when Clover reached down Drake’s body, about to touch his cock through those tented sweats, Drake stopped him and placed Clover’s hand back on his shoulder.
“I’m good. I like this,” he said, meeting Clover’s gaze from up close.
Clover nodded, for now content with what Drake was willing to give. Few things felt this familiar, but the slightly tense atmosphere broke when Tank ruffled Drake’s hair in passing, on the way to the kitchen.
“Don’t!” Drake hissed like an agitated cobra.
Clover snorted and closed his eyes. He would have loved to see Tank and Drake kiss again.
Chapter 11 - Drake
Warm smoke filled Drake’s lungs. It would burn for a couple of moments, and then leave with the breeze, taking away at least some of the thoughts gnawing at him from the inside. It was so late the cityscape was no longer lit up like a carousel at a county fair, and beyond downtown, the irregular plain of roofs remained as dark as the mountains Drake knew were on the horizon but couldn’t see. From so high up, everything resembled a giant model anyway.
Despite the happy reunion and the overindulgent meal, sleep hadn’t come for him, and he’d spent the past few hours tossing and turning until it became too much, and he settled on taking a long bath. That hadn’t helped either, so he supposed waiting until morning was the only thing left.
He leaned against the balcony railing and blew out the smoke, watching it disperse. But as good as the next inhale felt, neither the warmth filling his chest nor the nicotine could ease the weight on his shoulders.
He thought back to the cell phone he’d taken off one of the bodies. The guy had clearly been their leader, and Boar’s bloodlust toward that bastard confirmed him as the one being responsible for his suffering. But while the man Drake had been a couple months ago would have moved the heavens and the earth in order to discover any clues about Apollo’s whereabouts, he was wiser now, and the fact that there was a potential clue waiting to be discovered in that device didn’t mean searching for it was the thing he should do. That horrid night when he’d decided to go rogue had taught him a lesson that sank all the way to the marrow in his bones.
He flinched at the sound of the balcony door sliding open, but he stilled when his eyes darted to the intruder—Clover. Was he also unable to sleep, haunted by nightmares that would never go away courtesy of Drake’s bullheadedness?
Despite his skill and all they’d been through, in the white hotel pajamas and slippers, he couldn’t have seemed more innocent. Clover pushed some of his fair hair behind his ear and smiled at Drake, but there was a question in his gaze.
For several heartbeats, Drake looked for a way out, but he couldn’t run away from problems like some frightened child. “Can’t sleep?”
Clover closed the balcony door behind him, and the gesture had a finality to it. He’d entered the lion’s cage and wouldn’t be leaving until he’d petted the beast that had bitten him.
“I got up for some water and saw you here. Can I have one?” Clover pointed to the cigarette and stood closer.
Clover wasn’t a smoker, but he had occasionally sampled some of Drake’s cigarettes in the past, so Drake offered him one. “It’s the most peaceful time, before even the early risers get out of bed.”
Drake lit Clover’s cigarette, and the boy’s closeness was like the flame—too hot to the touch. The affection they’d shared earlier had been what Drake craved so deeply he couldn’t even put it into words, but everything seemed different now that they were alone. Drake was walking through a minefield of emotions he couldn’t handle.
Clover took a big drag of smoke and leaned against the railing next to Drake. “Is that why you’re up?”
Drake briefly considered lying, but what was the point?
“I couldn’t sleep. Must be all the excitement,” he said, feeling cornered when he took the tiniest step back and his hip touched the railing.
Clover nudged him with his elbow. “Boar seems in good shape. All things considered.”
Drake sucked in cool air and looked away. On people like Boar, worst of the scars likely hid under the surface, but he didn’t want to confront Clover about it and spoil his mood. Maybe it was for the better that they didn’t know everything that had happened to their friend during his absence?
Clover smoked in silence for a while, beautiful like a doll from the top of his head, to the lovely slim fingers, and all the way to his pink toes. He’d seemed so normal and at ease when having sex with Boar and Tank, so why couldn’t Drake fight through his own inhibitions and offer the boy what he wanted?
Drake knew the answer. Boar and Tank weren’t the ones to put the scars on Clover’s back. Drake had seen those today. Dark, red, they marred his pale skin, but were nothing in comparison to the burn mark on Clover’s shoulder. All those reminders were hidden by the pajamas now, but Drake remained constantly aware of their presence. They were a physical stain on their relationship.
“I hope he recovers fast. Then, we’ll have to figure out what to do with our living situation. Would be nice to have a bathroom at home,” Drake said, shrugging.
Clover grinned at him and released some smoke through his nose. “Is that why you keep disappearing? ‘Cause you hate our house? Prince and the pea?”
Drake stubbed out his cigarette and leaned against the railing, watching the landscape just so that he wouldn’t have to meet Clover’s gaze. It was as if there was a barrier between them, and crossing it remained a difficult task each time he tried.
“It’s just… easier for me to be alone.”
“I’m sure it’s not.” Clover dropped the cigarette from the balcony and took the one step needed to hug Drake.
It was as if ivy had grown out of the floor and held Drake in place. Stiff, he stopped breathing when the soft hair brushed his chin.
“It really is.”
Clover’s hold tightened around him, and it was both torment and relief at once. “I know you, Drake. If you liked being alone, you wouldn’t have joined Tank. We lived in such a big house, yet most of the time you’d gravitate to where people were. You need this. Us.”
Drake exhaled, shutting his eyes as he breathed in Clover’s scent. He missed this boy so much yet couldn’t bring himself to reach out. “Maybe I used to. But now being around you all reminds me of what I’ve done.”
The silence fell on Drake like a tonne of bricks, but Clover still hugged him.
Every breath was hard to take, and once again Drake thought of how much easier it would have been to just end this whole torment forever.
“I’m sorry,” Clover whispered, maddening Drake with his gentle stroking. Drake didn’t deserve any of his patience and tenderness. “Is there anything I can do to make it better?”
Drake choked on air, suddenly frantic to get away. But he didn’t move. Clover didn’t deserve to be rejected. “No. No. I just have to live with it. It’s not like it’s gonna kill me.”
Even now, after all Drake had done to him, Clover asked him how he was feeling and what he, the victim, could do to help. Drake didn’t deserve him.
“I know it’s hard. But that was what Apollo wanted. To crush you.”
Drake stroked Clover’s hair, unable to stop himself from touching the boy when he was so close. “He succeeded. We had something special, and he stepped on it,” he whispered.
“I still love you,” Clover said in a tiny voice.
“How can you? You won’t even tell me how you really feel. You’re not fine. I know it.”
Clover took a deep breath that tickled Drake’s neck. “I don’t want to make you feel bad.”
Drake gave a bitter laugh and wiped his forehead with hi
s hand, just to put it to work. “I already feel bad. I don’t want you to protect me.”
“Why not? You did that for me so many times.”
Drake closed his eyes in disbelief. Clover, out of all people, wanted to protect him? It was beyond sweet, but also akin to a kitten trying to fight off a Doberman.
“Because you’re mine to protect. I know I failed, but I’ll still try,” he said, closing his arms around Clover. He felt like a bastard for taking advantage of Clover’s kindness, but it was too hard to resist the consolation it offered.
“I am? Still yours?” Clover sounded hopeful, and it broke Drake’s heart. After all he’d been through, Clover still clung to him.
Drake’s throat tightened, but he squeezed the railing to relieve the tension rolling through his body. “I don’t know if I deserve it. But I still love you.”
“What he did to us… He did to us both, Drake. He forced your hand because he wanted you to suffer. And I don’t know if he hadn’t hurt you more.”
It was like a slap, and Drake recoiled, letting go of Clover. “Don’t say that. I’m fine.” He took a deep breath, struggling to find words that could express his thoughts. “You’re so precious. And I made you cry and scream, and I just… I see the man who did it to you every time I look in the mirror.”
Clover looked straight into his eyes. “And I see a man hurt endless times for no fault of his own. A man who wants to do the right thing by me. A man I still love. A man I lust for. You are not just the thing you did that night. We survived.”
Drake sucked in air. “Did we?”
Clover ran his fingers through his hair, and for the first time since he entered the balcony. “I don’t know, Drake. What do you want me to say? You don’t know what I’m feeling or how I’m doing, because you disappeared and left Tank to pick up the pieces. Of that, you are guilty.”
Clover’s words stung, but Drake wasn’t about to excuse himself. “Why would you want to be around me? Seeing me every day would have reminded you of what happened.”
“Is that what seeing me is like for you?” Clover’s lips turned into a thin line.
Startled, Drake could only stare back at Clover, words stuck in his throat. There was truth in what he said, and the longer silence stretched, the deeper this new idea about Drake’s own behavior took root. Had he been distant not to protect Clover but himself?
“Oh, God,” he whispered, exhaling rapidly.
“What?” Clover snapped, crossing his arms on his chest and standing in front of the only exit.
“You’re right. I… I think you’re right,” Drake said, still shocked that his mind had hidden this from him for so long. It had been easier to rationalize his behavior with the need to protect Clover, but what he’d been really doing hadn’t been so noble. “I was selfish. I left you and Tank to deal with this mess and only thought of how I felt.”
Clover licked his lips. “And I’m guessing that wasn’t even good for you anyway.”
Drake shook his head, deflated yet already burning to make up for his past mistakes. He was such a fool.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, taking hold of Clover’s hand and closing it in both of his. “I know you had to wait, and maybe it’s too late, but I’m here. I’ll listen.”
Clover stalled but didn’t pull away. “I don’t know. What’s done is done. I’m fine.”
Drake stepped closer. “Don’t do that. You just told me to not pull away, so don’t do that yourself.”
“Some days are tougher than others. It’s why I didn’t want to tell Tank for so long. I wanted things to be like before. But now that I opened up about it, it did make me feel better. I think Tank gets it, and he’s not treating me differently. He’s got so much… compassion, you know? He’s such a tough guy, but he does listen. When I trained with you all, I didn’t understand just how violent things might get. Back in that tree, I found it really hard to act even knowing Boar’s life was at stake. I hate that I’ve become such a coward.”
Drake swallowed. He’d known he was leaving Clover in good hands with Tank, because for all his hard exterior, Tank had a big heart, but he still shouldn’t have deserted Clover when he was the only one to know what had happened. “You’re not a coward. When push came to shove, you did what you needed to. You faced several people on your own, with just a few bullets left in your gun. Can you promise me that if you’re having one of those bad days, you’ll tell me?” Drake asked, cupping Clover’s face and stepping that bit closer. His heart galloped when Clover’s pale gaze met his in the dark, and the comfort of not wanting to look away for once splashed warmth all over Drake’s body.
Clover nodded with a sniff. “I hate that he took away what we had.” He squeezed Drake’s hand. “Maybe I’m greedy, but I’m not happy without you. For me, you’re the same Drake as before.”
It was as if Clover had pushed his hand into Drake’s chest and petted his heart until it no longer hurt. “I—I’m not happy without you either. I’ve never been happier than when I was with you.”
Clover stroked Drake’s cheek and kissed him. “Forgive yourself. I had to do that too, because I was the one to talk Boar into coming with us. There’s no point in wallowing in it anymore.”
Drake exhaled but didn’t resist the electric power of Clover’s kiss this time. He put his arms around Clover, enjoying the familiar touch that brought him so much comfort. “You’re too smart for a twenty-year old. Must be an old soul,” he whispered, breaking the kiss to rub his cheek against Clover’s.
Clover snorted and eagerly wrapped his arms around Drake’s neck. “It’s all the cum. I’m actually fifty, but it keeps me young. That’s why I need four guys.”
“A cum vampire, huh? Who’d have thought,” Drake said, feeling more at ease with every passing second. But when he captured Clover’s gaze again, the somber thoughts were back, and they needed to be expressed. “Thank you. For looking out for me, Clover.”
Clover kissed him again without pushing for more. “Always. You just have to let me.”
Nothing about the self-enforced exile had felt as good as the warm softness of Clover’s closeness, and Drake hugged him more tightly, his thoughts drifting off to the potential evidence hidden in his room. His instinct was to protect Clover at all cost, but if he did that, if he just kept the truth to himself, it would mean he’d learned nothing. Clover deserved to have all the information and make his own choice. “There’s one more thing.”
“What is it?”
Drake gently pushed him away, to avoid the tenderness clouding their judgment. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, because I want to keep you safe. But I have a possible lead on him.”
He didn’t have to voice who he was talking about. Clover took a deep breath. “Oh. We need to be smarter about it than last time.”
Drake’s shoulders hunched with relief. “Yes. And plan everything with the others.”
Clover stroked Drake’s hand, and the distance between them seemed that much less unbearable. “You’ll tell Tank in the morning. I wish we could be done with it, but until Apollo dies, I don’t think we can be safe. He won’t let go. He knows we killed his sister. I know I wouldn’t have let go if he killed any of you.”
Drake watched the wind sweep back Clover’s hair and fought the impulse to comb his fingers through it. “Simple. We just can’t let him kill any of us,” he said and stopped resisting his urge, stepping closer.
His mind was clear, no longer running in circles.
Clover shook his head. “I sure hope it’s that simple.”
Nothing was easy when it came to a man like Apollo, but this time Drake would come for the bastard prepared, with people who he could count on, and he would make sure Clover no longer had to fear that danger might be right behind the corner.
“We will work something out. You’re right. We can’t just leave this be. We’ll talk to the others.”
Clover tightened his arms around Drake, his eyes glistening as if Drake was his pri
nce charming. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Being held like this meant everything to Drake, and he squeezed Clover, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. His heart beat faster. “Will you sleep with me?”
“Yes,” Clover said without hesitation and then grinned at Drake. “I’ll text Tank. I haven’t given him a good reason to spank me in a while.”
Chapter 12 - Boar
“I’m hungry!” Clover protested, but Tank remained deaf to his pleading. With the robe removed, Clover lay across Tank’s lap, his pale back and round buttocks on show. The room service staff had brought up every breakfast item on the menu—with the exception of granola, because who wanted to celebrate with that?—but nobody had touched the plates yet, all of them transfixed on the ass twitching every time Tank’s hand fell on it with a loud slap.
Boar couldn’t take his eyes off the gorgeous white buttocks turning raspberry red. There was a normalcy to sitting around a table with the four men who were his family, even if their normal was Clover getting a spanking at breakfast.
But no matter how hard Boar tried to reconnect with his friends, he was watching everyone through an invisible wall. The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind of emotion. From seeing Pyro again to being rescued, killing Tyrone, and ending on the wonderful fuck with Clover, which had felt like coming home. But now that the dust had started to settle, Boar itched all over with worry that he would wake up any minute, and instead of croissants and coffee, he’d be served a protein shake and meaty slop meant to bulk him up for the fights.
But he smiled for everyone’s benefit and leaned against Pyro, who hadn’t left his side since they’d arrived at the hotel.
“What did I tell you about texting me instead of asking in person, you naughty boy?” Tank rasped, slapping the naked buttocks over and over. Clover’s face bloomed with a dark flush, and with all his hair pulled to one side, his features remained uncovered as they twisted and relaxed alongside the rest of his body.
He was the tastiest snack a man could get his hands on. And he was theirs.
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