Perhaps.... Perhaps

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Perhaps.... Perhaps Page 18

by Dale, Lindy


  James’s face darkened. ‘It wouldn’t be nice, though, would it? What if your student found out? I’m sure they’d be devastated, knowing you’d given their gift away.’

  Flora stared at him. Only minutes before he had stated he was going to do the same thing. He really was quite odd.

  Chapter 24

  It was three days until the end of year. St Bernadette’s was a madhouse and Miriam was in her usual pre-Christmas tirade period where she bit the heads off everybody and screamed at little children. Louise and PJ had already packed up their classrooms and were playing games for the remainder of the term and James seemed to have disappeared back into the woodwork. At last.

  The storeroom was piled high with reams of paper and boxes of uniform items that needed to be sorted and correctly stored before the end of the year. In the jumble, Luke was looking for the microphone cord when Flora turned the lock behind him. He’d been in there for ten minutes, conducting a futile search for something he knew he wouldn’t find and swearing to himself about it.

  ‘Unlock the door, Flora,’ he said, turning and regarding her as sternly as he could. Leaning back against the door she looked delightful, an impish smile played on her lips, a little spring floral dress in shades of blue and turquoise that made her eyes glow adorned her goddess-like body. He sucked in a breath of self-control as she moved forward, her bare arms reaching around him.

  ‘Why?’ she asked with a coquettish lilt.

  She had been like that for the last few days, after she realised the inevitable was imminent. Now, she was trying to capture every moment possible to make him see what he would be missing, trying to make him stay. And she only had four days in which to do it.

  ‘Because we’re at work and we could get fired for this if we’re caught,’ he said, brushing the tip of her nose and disentangled himself from her grip. ‘And because this is a school not a brothel.’

  ‘Why Mr McDermott, I believe you’re getting all prudish on me.’ Flora’s eyes twinkled as she toyed with a button his shirt. It didn’t matter if they were caught. The school would survive without her in it.

  ‘Undo the door…. I’ll kiss you again if you do.’

  Flora’s lips pouted and her brow furrowed as she pretended to consider the idea.

  ‘Alright,’ she replied, pushing the door ajar with her foot, ‘but you have to give me something better than a peck if you expect me to cooperate.’

  She’d been thinking about being alone with Luke all morning, plotting ways in her head all through ‘Show and Tell’ to get him to kiss her again. There was no way she was going to give up on the idea for a mere peck on the cheek. She wanted to live dangerously.

  ‘What do you want?’ he asked, poking his head out of the door to check the coast was clear and then pulling her quickly against him.

  Flora moistened her lips and raised them for the kiss. It would be enough to last until later on.

  ‘I want to go on a date, Luke. A real date, where we get dressed up and go out for dinner and make conversation. I want a date where we don’t worry about anyone except us, like a real couple,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘I’m tired of hiding in cupboards and, as exciting as you can make whipped cream, coming to your place for sex just isn’t doing it for me. For one night before you leave, I don’t want to be the other woman.’

  Luke kissed her and pushed her away. He should have known it wouldn’t be as simple as a kiss. ‘It could be our undoing.’

  ‘I know, but please Luke, just once before you go.’ Naughtily, Flora grabbed his tie and pulled his face down to hers. Opening her doll eyes wide, she whispered, ‘I won’t ask for anything more. Ever. I promise.’ It was a bargain of sorts. Take her on a date and the words ‘love’ and ‘stay’ would never be uttered again.

  Luke sighed. ‘Alright.’ He might as well surrender; she wasn’t going to stop in until he did.

  ****

  ‘I need you to come shopping with me, Lou,’ Flora said, after school that day. They were heading out into the car park, towards Louise’s Beetle. Stopping, she pressed the remote and opened the back door, tossing her box of student portfolios onto the back seat. Hands on hips, she turned to face Flora. ‘Why can’t you take Luke with you? He’s more involved in your life than I am.’

  Flora took her friends hand. ‘Oh, come on,’ she pleaded. ‘You would’ve done the exact same thing given half a chance and….. and…’ she floundered ‘…… I really need you to help me.’

  ‘Why would you want my advice on what dress to wear? As far as I can see, you’re pretty good at making your own choices.’

  So that was what this was all about. Louise wasn’t upset that Flora was having an affair with their boss and hadn’t told her. She was peeved because Flora no longer needed her the way she used to. She felt usurped by Flora’s new personality.

  ‘Please….’ Flora begged again. ‘You have such good taste and I don’t want to pick just anything. This dress has to be special.’

  Louise raised her eyebrows. She opened the driver’s side door and leant against it. ‘Luke, taking you on a hot date, eh?’

  ‘Yes, a sort of farewell thing.’

  ‘In public? Where others can see you?’

  ‘I told him that for one night, before he leaves, I don’t want to be the other woman. If he can give me that, I’ll be satisfied.’ There was only one thing that would make Flora happy and having the right dress was imperative to making it a reality. If she could make Luke see … maybe…. just maybe. ‘So, you’ll help me?’

  ‘You love him, don’t you?’

  ‘Is it that obvious?’

  Louise grinned. ‘Well, what are you waiting for? Get in the car and we’ll go and pick you a killer dress.’

  Flora ran around the car and jumped into the passenger seat beside her. Sometimes she couldn’t understand what it was she had done to deserve such wonderful friends.

  Chapter 25

  The dress, a cocktail version of Flora’s usual fifties vintage style was blood red satin with a black overlay. A deep v at the bodice showed her cleavage and the wide black patent buckle cinched in her already tiny waist even further. The knee length dress clung in all the right places and swished around the tops of her knees as she moved.

  ‘It’s totally you, Flower,’ Louise had commented as they’d stood in the changing room of the dress shop. ‘Understated but sexy. You have to buy it.’

  Flora had stared at her in amazement. Since when had she become sexy? That was PJ’s domain. ‘I feel rather like Audrey Hepburn.’

  ‘For sure. Though I don’t imagine you’ll be wearing it for long once Luke sees you in it. You look divine.’

  Flora had flicked up the tag, gagging in shock. The last time she had bought a dress from a ‘real shop’ they had been a great deal cheaper. ‘For this price he’ll be seeing me in it for a whole lot longer than he expects. I plan to get my money’s worth.’

  ‘That’s not all you’ll be getting.’

  Remembering the conversation, and the happiness she had felt at being able to share her secret at last, Flora was content as she clipped her hair up, securing it with pins so that the faint silver and blonde wisps fell around the milky skin of her shoulders.

  Luke will die when he sees me, she thought, finishing the outfit with a dainty gold pendant in the shape of her initial. He will never go back to Queensland when he sees how I look in this dress.

  As she contemplated herself in the mirror and took a last twirl Flora decided that Louise and Luke might have been right. She was sexy – in a skinny, fairylike sort of way. Her glasses now nonexistent, had been replaced by contacts, and the nose that had once been such a cause of stress was no longer an issue. She couldn’t fathom what it was that had made her worry so about it. Luke told her constantly how good her body was and looking in the mirror she could see what he meant. She wasn’t scrawny at all, but fine boned. And she did have great legs. And her boobs were just the right size. Why had she never noticed these thi
ngs before? It was Luke. He had been the catalyst for the change. He had made her feel special and loved.

  For years Flora had worried about how she looked but had never stopped to see what others told her they saw. There had been a transformation and it wasn’t because of the dress. It was because of Luke and the way he looked at her. He made her feel beautiful with the things he said and the way he acted. But he didn’t love her. That was the killer in the whole situation. No matter what, she had to remember that he didn’t love her. This was an affair and in three days it would be over.

  ****

  The incessant buzzing from the intercom sounded his arrival. It was the beginning of their big night, their first real date.

  ‘Hang on, I’ll buzz you in,’ Flora breathed, hardly believing that Luke could be a full ten minutes early. He had been given strict instructions not to be late on their special night, but early? Didn’t he realise a girl needed all the time possible to prepare for such a momentous occasion. This was the first, and the only time, they would ever be in public as a couple. Everything had to be perfect. Unsnipping the front door, Flora dashed back to the bedroom. All she had to do was slip into her shoes and grab her clutch. A quick turn in the mirror and she was ready.

  ‘You look lovely.’

  Flora turned in surprise. James was blocking the bedroom doorway.

  ‘Uh, er, hi James.’ Flora tried to sound calm but her insides were a bundle of tension knots. She thought she was going to vomit all over her new dress. What was James doing here and more precisely how had he found out where she lived? She had never told him and the only phone number had was the one given to all staff in case of emergencies. There was no way he could know.

  ‘Going somewhere special?’ His pupils glinted in the lamplight. It made him look creepy. His eyes were too close together. It was odd that she had never noticed it before.

  ‘Yes. I was on my way out and I’m late, so if you’ll excuse me….’ Nervous, she made her way towards the door, hoping he would follow. Once up the driveway she could…. Well, she didn’t know what she’d do but at least they would be out in the open. She could scream or run or something. James blocked her path. It was clear he had no intention of moving.

  Flora regarded him cautiously. This was not the same James she worked with every day. This James was a little scary. He had entered her house under false pretences. He wasn’t welcome and he didn’t look happy. ‘Can I help you with something, James?’

  ‘I thought I might pop over.’ Beneath his angry eyes, his face was colourless, as if he was fighting to hold his feelings in. ‘I wanted to see if you liked my gift. You never acknowledged it.’

  ‘You mean the flower? Was that you who sent it? The card had no sender so I wasn’t sure.’ She hoped that sounded positive, while non-committal. She didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, though he seemed to be labouring under some sort of false impression already. Maybe that was her fault. She should never have agreed to go out with him.

  Then an odd thought struck her. ‘Just out of curiosity, how did you know frangipanis are my favourite flower?’ She could be mistaken but she was certain she had never mentioned it to anyone, except Luke. Favourite flowers were a topic only discussed on Valentine’s Day or when talking about wedding bouquets and she had been doing either of those.

  ‘I saw them in your courtyard. I noticed the clip you have in your hair quite a lot.’ He sounded almost smug. ‘I put two and two together.’

  Flora took a deep breath and pressed her lips together. Okay. This was getting a little too creepy for words. James had never set foot inside Flora’s courtyard, in an invited capacity, so how would he know about the tree. He was scaring her now. She had to do something to get him to leave.

  ‘You do an awful lot of housework for a girl who lives alone,’ he added. ‘Well, you used to…. I haven’t noticed it as much of late. Something else occupying your time? Or should I say someone….?’

  Flora took a step backwards. James had been watching her. But how?

  As if to confirm her thoughts he pointed out the window, gesturing to the block of flats next door. It was an intrusive building, one that had no architectural merit at all. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the fact of the frangipani tree obscuring its greyness, Flora would have never bought her little flat.

  ‘I moved. Remember?’ His mouth lifted in a sinister sort of smile.

  ‘Were you watching me?’

  ‘I didn’t do it on purpose. I was looking out the window one day and I saw you hanging your washing in the courtyard……’

  Flora gasped. Oh my God! Her knickers. James was the snowdropper! Somewhere in his flat he had a shrine made out of her underwear.

  ‘That was when I realised that I could see into your flat.’ His smile was tight now. His voice had deepened and slowed. ‘It’s fortunate, isn’t it? I mean, with us being friends and all. I could keep an eye on you.’

  Flora moved and sat on the bed. James was stalking her. He had stolen her underwear and watched her through his window. A shiver ran down her spine and in spite of the warm summer evening, she felt cold.

  ‘So I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a while now… … it was difficult at the beginning but since I got the binoculars it’s been easier.’

  Flora began to shake. What was she going to do? How was she going to get rid of this psycho? Heavens knows what he had witnessed in the last month. With knowledge like his, he had the power to be very dangerous to her relationship with Luke.

  ‘Look James,’ she began.

  He held a hand up to silence her. ‘You don’t have to say anything. I know. I’ve seen Luke chasing you around the flat, smothering you with God only knows what,’ he took a breath. ‘I’ve watched him fucking you.’ He made it sound so dirty. It wasn’t like that at all.

  ‘And?’

  ‘I found the whole thing quite disturbing. I never thought you’d be one to play games. You always seem so prim at school. That’s one of the reasons why I love you.’ He took a step towards her. ‘I couldn’t bear to think of you wearing that slutty underwear he gave you, to see him ripping it off you. That’s why I took it.’

  Flora shivered. ‘You stole my underwear.’

  ‘No. I merely replaced it with something more suitable. And then I saw you’d shoved it in your bag like an afterthought.’

  Icy chills coursed through Flora’s veins. Her head throbbed. ‘The satin knickers? They were from you? Oh James.’

  ‘I can’t believe you could toss our love aside like that.’

  ‘But James, we’re not in love.’

  ‘Then why did you go out with me?’

  ‘Um… because you’re a nice guy?’

  His face was impassive but Flora wasn’t fooled. Involuntarily, her hands clenched on the duvet, scrunching it into tight wads. She had no idea what he was going to do next. He could explode at any moment but he didn’t. He shrugged. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter now because I’ve decided that he doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t love you the way I do. He can’t make love to you the way I will.’

  The phone rang and Flora reached across the bed to answer it. James lunged, slapping the receiver from her hand and ripping the phone cord from the socket. Flora winced. ‘Do you think I’m going to let you answer that?’ he spat. ‘We have unfinished business, we can’t be disturbed.’

  Backing across the bed, Flora tried to evade his hand as it grabbed her arm and yanked her to the mattress. For such a slight man, he was surprisingly strong, ripping the bodice of her dress in two as if it were tissue paper, exposing the lacy bra she had bought new for the occasion. ‘I knew you’d look better up close,’ he said, pulling up the skirt. ‘Tell me, do your underpants match your bra? From what I’ve seen you have quite an obsession with that sort of thing.’

  Flora pushed the skirt back down, holding it firm with her one free hand. Tears soaked her face, causing the eyeliner to run in her eyes, making her blink in pain at the stinging. ‘Please, James
,’ she begged. ‘Please don’t do this. If you leave now, I’ll never tell, I swear. It can be our secret.’ If only she could appeal to his sense of reason. It was all she had left.

  ‘And you’re very good at keeping secrets, aren’t you?’ he said, twisting her hands until she yelped in pain and pinning them above her head with his left hand. Bending over her, his face was only millimetres from her own, the muscles of his jaw clenched as he spoke. ‘I don’t want this to be a secret. This is not some tawdry affair, like you and Luke. I want everyone to know you’re mine. I want them all to know you’re fucking me now.’ She could feel his other hand unzipping his fly and fumbling with her skirt but she was powerless to move him. Helplessly, she squirmed beneath him, wishing she could get her knee into a suitable position close to his testicles but it was no use. He was too strong.

  Squeezing her lids together, Flora attempted to hold back the tears. How could he do this? Why would he do this? ‘Please James…..’ she begged, her voice almost inaudible.

  ‘You can beg all you like as long as you’re begging for more,’ he laughed, wriggling out of his pants and kneeling over her, his knees pinioning her shoulders. He held his rigid penis in his hand, inching the head towards her mouth. ‘And believe me, once you’ve had a taste of this, you’ll never want Luke again.’

  Flora froze. The magazines always said it was better to give in to the attacker. Be limp; let them have their way rather than fighting back. Fighting back only made it worse, or so they said. But how could she not fight back? She was not the old Flora, the one who would have taken it for the team, no matter how hard. The new improved Flora was angry and afraid and she wanted to fight back. There was not a hope in hell that she was letting James put his penis anywhere near her mouth or any other body parts, for that matter. Not even if it was a choice between him and Jack Black - whom she considered to be heinously ugly but hilarious. Desperate, her mind ticked over. All she had to do was break free. A tall order, considering.

 

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