by Josie Wright
“I’ve come over here ‘cause I got some things to get off my chest. All I ask is for both of you to listen.” I take a deep breath, steeling my nerves before I continue.
“I know you don’t agree with a lot of my decisions, and that’s okay. You don’t have to. I’m my own person, and I’m entitled to live my life my way. I don’t expect you to understand or support it, although that would be nice. But I need you to accept it. I don’t think of anything that I did, or anything that happened, as a mistake, but as a chance to learn. I’m a good person. You’d see that if you opened your eyes for a minute. I don’t understand how you can love Archer so much and hate me for getting pregnant at the same time. One doesn’t come without the other. I didn’t give up school or my job. I haven’t depended on you any more than before the pregnancy and yet, you’ve treated me like a pariah ever since.” I can feel my heart beating like a drum, my hands shaking slightly. I look into their faces, seeing a mix of irritation, confusion, and righteousness, but no understanding, or sympathy. I let out a sigh when I notice Dave at the top of the stairs.
“You have two kids that are making their own way in life. It’s a different way than you expected or wanted for us, but it’s not a bad one. I can’t comprehend how you would rather insist on your rules and morals than make your children feel loved and cherished the way they are. But that way, you’re the best teachers I could have wished for, because I know I’ll be doing the exact opposite with Archer. I don’t care what he does or who he becomes. As long as he’s a good person, I’m going to shower him with my love and support. I’m going to be his biggest fan. He’ll never have to question if I’m there for him, if I love him. He’ll never have to feel reluctant about coming home.”
My dad wants to say something, but I hold up my hand stopping him. I need to finish what I have to say before everything ends up in a shouting match.
“I don’t like doing this, but I don’t see another way. How can I expect my son to grow up respecting and loving me, knowing the value of family, when I let him witness the way you treat me? How can I teach him to stand up for himself when he sees his mother allowing others to walk all over her, treating her like dirt under their shoes? I can’t, and that isn’t okay. It’s not what I want him to grow up with. So until you manage to find it in you to treat me with respect, and as a part of this family, you won’t be able to see him again. At least until he’s old enough to decide for himself. Until then, I don’t want him in a toxic environment every time we are around each other. I’m not taking this lightly, and I’m sorry it has to go this way. But it’s my decision as his mother.”
Now, both of them have an incredulous look on their face, clearly shocked at my announcement. I use that to my advantage to say the rest.
“Before you say anything—I don’t care if you disown me or stop paying my tuition. I’ll manage somehow.” I turn around to leave and open the door. Before I step outside I look back.
“I don’t know why you hate me. And it would be a lie if I said it didn’t hurt. But I’m done trying to be someone I’m not. And I’m done letting you make me feel bad for it.”
I close the door behind me, taking a shaky breath. Despite the pain of cutting ties like this, I feel liberated. I don’t have to try so hard any longer. When the door opens behind me, for a second, the little girl inside me hopes it’s her parents who want to apologize and tell her they love her. But what do little girls know about life?
“Stinker, you just gave me goosebumps. You okay?”
I shrug at my brother, who’s looking at me with adoration and awe.
“No, but I will be. What about you?” I nudge him playfully in the side.
“Yeah. Who would have thought I could learn something from my little sister?” He snorts, nudging me back, making me nearly lose my balance. “Before I came out, I told them I’m not going back to college. And that I’m moving out.”
Hooking my arms through his, I’m genuinely excited for him.
“That’s awesome, Dave.”
“Glad you think so, Stinker. Got a spare room?”
I can’t help but laugh. I guess my makeshift family just gained one more member from my real family, that is, if the others are okay with it; although I honestly have no doubts about that.
“That depends...” I tease him, enjoying the question written all over his face.
“On what?”
“On how much you’re willing to beg.” Sticking my tongue out at him, I start running down the street, knowing damn well he’ll make me pay.
He catches up with me in no time, tackles me to the ground and gives me one hell of a noogie, until I squeal and squirm like a worm on a hook.
“Okay, okay. You got a room.” He lets me go, and I scramble to my feet, backing away.
“Unless you want to share one with Viv.”
He flips me off, but it doesn’t stop me from continuing with a laugh. “Dave and Viv sitting in the tree…” Before I can sing any further, he’s after me again, only stopping when we arrive at Ben’s house, and Judith opens the door with mock irritation and a wink in my direction.
“David, what are you doing to your sister?” He starts to come up with an excuse, clearly a little flabbergasted—probably remembering all the times when he was younger and she put him in his place. This only makes her laugh before she walks inside, putting her arm around me. I turn around to stick my tongue out at Dave, but he’s ready for that and has both middle fingers raised. It’s going to be interesting living with my brother again.
We spend the rest of the day with Ben’s family and Dave. The heaviness that seized Ben and me after his father’s attack isn’t gone by any stretch, but with the love and warmth of his parents, it manages to take a step back. When I go to bed that night, Ben stays up talking to his parents some more. Not that I mind; I want to give him the time he needs to sort through all that’s happened, and to reconnect with them.
***
When they drop us off at the airport the next morning, saying goodbye doesn’t come easy—especially for Ben and his mom. But his parents have already announced their visit for Easter, eager to see how we live and to meet the people we call our family. Dave will be driving out in the upcoming days, since I’ve called the gang and gotten their okay. My parents, on the other hand, haven’t reached out. I guess that means they made their decision.
Chapter 38
Home Is Where The Heart Is
Once we take our seats on the plane, Ben leans over to me while holding on to Archer with one arm. He runs his hand over my face, looking into my eyes, before he kisses me softly.
“Time to go home.” I kiss him back.
He smiles at me and it’s a smile that sets my heart on fire, melting it in the process. My knees go weak and my mouth goes dry. It’s the kind of smile that makes you fall in love more with the person you already love more than yourself.
“Wherever you two go, I’ll follow. That’s where my home is.”
And this is what turns me into a blubbering mess on a plane in the midst of take-off. If someone had told me six months ago that I would ever hear those words from Ben, I would have considered them crazy and told them as much. In no way did I believe it to be possible that we would have a future together.
Looking out the window at the clouds, I can’t stop the smile from spreading, knowing that after what we’ve been through, and after how we fought to get here, we’ll definitely have a future.
I’m not naïve enough to think that it’ll be all sunshine and laughter when we land and get back to our life. In the span of four months our lives have been turned upside down multiple times, and we wouldn’t be human if that hadn’t left any marks. Alone the thought of entering our kitchen makes my heart-rate spike, and I break out in goose-bumps. The things that happened keep replaying in my head and it’s no different for Ben—only he has to deal with knowing his own father tried to kill him, and then tried to kill his son. But no matter how hard it gets, I think we can pull thr
ough. We’ve proven we’re willing to fight for each other.
Epilogue
Three months later....
I’m on all fours, crawling around the bedroom floor, much to Archer’s delight who waddles behind me, now mostly walking on his own. I’m wearing a grey pencil skirt with a black bow draped on the back, a black blouse, and black flats complete the outfit.
“Archer, where did you put mommy’s necklace?”
I’ve been looking for it for twenty minutes now and at this rate I’ll miss my own graduation ceremony. Today I’m getting my bachelor’s degree, and I’m excited to take the next step on the ladder and start my master’s degree in the fall. That is, if I ever make it off the bedroom floor. It might sound silly, but I’ve not once left the house without wearing the necklace Ben gave me for Christmas, and I’m not planning to do it now. Last time I saw it was this morning when Archer was licking it while snuggled up to his dad.
After the third round of looking around the room and under the bed, even searching Archer’s crib, I let out a frustrated groan.
“Fuck.”
Running out of options, I decide to look under the bed again, poking my head under it with only my ass sticking out.
I’m suddenly startled by Ben’s voice and move too quick, hitting my head on the bed frame.
“Looking for something, babe?” He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and a sexy grin spreading over his stubbly face. The constant five o’clock shadow makes him even hotter, which isn’t good for my hormones. Especially not on a day when we’re already running late.
I only shoot him a glare, slumping against the bed. Archer is immediately at my side, trying to climb onto my lap. I cuddle him close, tickling his sides and making him laugh, when Ben suddenly clears his throat.
“Have you been looking for this?”
I lift my head and see him still standing in the same position, but with my necklace dangling from one of his hands. I shoot up, setting Archer down on the floor and more or less vaulting to where Ben’s standing.
“Where did you find it?” I ask, yanking the necklace out of his hand. “I’ve been looking for it for the past twenty minutes.”
Instead of replying, he stops me from putting it on and pulls out the key from his pocket.
“Open it.”
I want to object, complain about us being late, but he puts a finger to my mouth, shushing me.
“We’ll be on time. Now open it.”
I have no idea what this is all about, but either I do it, or we’ll never get to commencement. I take the key from his hand and fumble with the locket for a moment. I finally manage to unlock it and open it carefully, not wanting the pictures of Archer and Ben to fall out.
I do a double-take and then look at Ben, before looking back at the locket in my hand, then at Ben again.
“Ben? What...” I look back at the locket again, carefully grabbing the ring with my fingers. It’s a simple, but beautiful silver ring, with a heart in the middle encircled by two hands and a crown on top—a Claddagh ring. The heart is made from what looks like green marble. My hands shake so bad I have to be careful not to drop the ring. My mouth has gone dry, and I feel like my heart is going to jump out through my throat.
When I look up at Ben, I can see pure adoration and love in his eyes. When he takes the ring out of my hands, I’m so nervous I feel the urge to run into the bathroom and lock myself in—no matter how ridiculous this may seem. I can’t tear my eyes off his face and willingly give him my hand when he takes a hold of it. His voice sounds shaky, but determined.
“Frankie, we’ve already missed out on so much time together. I left you once, but I can guarantee you this will never happen again. I fucked up that night, but it was just one night. This is the rest of our lives, and I want to prove to you every single day and every single night that you and Archer are everything to me. I want to be the first person you see in the morning and the last person before you fall asleep at night. I want us to experience life together—the good and the bad. We’ve already been through so much and you’ve always been there for me, knowing instinctively what I needed. I will always do my best to look after you and love you the way you deserve—if you’ll have me?”
Through the tears that have gathered in my eyes, I still see he looks nervous waiting for my response, letting the ring hover at the tip of my finger.
Nodding enthusiastically, I lean up and kiss him, merely more than a feather light touch of our lips.
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” He pushes the ring on my finger, kissing me with fervor. “Of course I’ll have you—always and forever.”
We kiss again, and I can feel him smiling against my lips.
“Good, how about you have me now. Your ass looks something fierce in this skirt...you bent over under the bed....that just short-circuited half of my brain.”
I swat his chest, pushing away. “You’re such an....” I don’t get any further than that before he grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him, holding onto me tightly and giving me a kiss that melts every bit of my heart and leaves me breathless. And panty-less since they just melted in the process. We’re interrupted by Archer stepping on our feet and pulling at my skirt. I suppose we’ve ignored him for too long.
Ben lifts him up on his arms and nuzzles his cheek, making Archer laugh in delight. I kiss both of them on the cheek, before looking up at Ben. “You’re still an ass.” I wipe the moisture from my cheeks, thanking the universe for waterproof mascara.
“Ass.” Archer’s little voice sounds through the room. “Ass,” he repeats again.
Ben starts laughing, highly amused with the new vocabulary his son has learned, while I groan.
“Oh fuck, we need to start watching our language around him.” After the words are out of my mouth, I realize I just swore again. Archer is in a perceptive mood today, as he repeats after me right away, “Fuck.” I close my eyes in frustration, while Ben shakes with laughter with Archer still in his arm.
“Well done, babe. Good going.”
Archer ignores us, happy about the new words he’s learned. “Ass. Fuck.”
That does it, and has Ben doubling over, setting Archer down on the floor in the process.
“It’s not funny, stop laughing.” I glower at Ben who is kneeling on the floor with Archer next to him. Ben’s amusement spurs Archer on because he sounds like a broken record.
“Oh, it’s not funny. It’s fucking hilarious,” Ben chokes out between breaths, holding his stomach, his eyes watering.
I suppose this as perfect a time as any to make peace with my son outdoing any drunken sailor by the time he’ll be two—courtesy of his mother. Despite the epic mother fail I just accomplished, I can’t help but laugh at the situation too. I lower myself to the floor and we sit like that for a few minutes, Ben and I laughing and Archer swearing, before we make our way downstairs.
I shouldn’t be surprised that everyone was in on Ben’s proposal plans. As soon as we step into the living room everyone, including Mrs. Walsh, Vince and Marge, Dave and his buddy Jason and even Ben’s parents who seem to have appeared out of nowhere, look at us questioningly and when Ben nods his head, they all erupt into cheers. One after another they come over, hugging and congratulating us.
“So happy for you Frankie. See, told you things will work themselves out,” Dean murmurs into my ear, while giving me a hug.
“Yeah, you did. Smartass.” I nudge him in the side, making him yelp.
Judith and Ron come up to us next, Judith pulling me into a tight embrace.
“Welcome to the family, Frankie.”
“Thank you, Mom.” She makes a sound of awe, and it’s possible I just might have melted the heart of my future mother-in-law.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, looking up at Ron, who’s standing behind his wife.
“What do you think? That we’d miss the engagement of our son, and our future daughter-in-law’s graduation? Nothing could stop us from being here.” I
t’s rare to hear Ron talk that much.
Now that Judith has moved on to Ben and Archer, Ron gives me a hug. I would have thought it’d be awkward, with him not being a man for showing feelings, but he hugs me close, letting me know I’m part of his family.
Just when we all calm down a little and the congratulations are finished, Archer decides to participate in the party.
“Ass. Fuck.”
Everyone goes completely still, turning to our son, looking at him and then at us. Ben’s the first one that starts to laugh, the others follow a bit more hesitantly.
“I guess he has his mother’s vocabulary.” Vince’s deep voice booms through the living room, making the others laugh even more. But it’s my brother who takes the cake.
“You know, maybe you shouldn’t let your son sleep in your bedroom when you’re back dooring my sister, Ben.”
I want to die from mortification. I’m yet again hoping the gates of hell will open and swallow me whole, and this time I’ll make sure to take my brother with me. I look at my future parents-in-law, and Ron’s trying to hold back a laugh. But it’s Judith that comes to my rescue.
“David Gilbert, you might not be my son, and you might be in your twenties, but that won’t stop me from giving you a spanking that you won’t forget.”
Poor naïve woman, as if that would stop my brother. I groan in anticipation, already knowing what will come next.
“Oooh, Judith, baby, and Ron won’t mind?”
Now, it’s Judith who turns red in the face. She even looks as if she’s going to faint any minute.
“Not cool, bro. Not cool at all,” Ben growls in Dave’s direction. “I can’t do it now, or we’ll miss Frankie’s graduation. But when we get back, I’ll kick your ass.”
Dave only laughs and opens his mouth, undoubtedly to say something that will indeed make me miss my graduation.
“Okay, enough of that. Jason, it’s your duty to gag my brother during ceremony. Viv, you’re welcome to help, and feel free to hurt him if necessary. And now, let’s go.”