‘Oh, she left me a long time before that,’ he said, in a voice so low she could barely hear him.
She wanted to ask him, to quiz him—to find out what had really gone so desperately wrong with his marriage. But part of her also wanted his secrets to remain just that. She didn’t need the added complication of sharing his pain, because his personal life was not her territory.
And, in any case, Christmas Eve was not the time to talk about failed relationships...
Ursula put her empty glass down on the coffee table and stood up. ‘Time I was going, I think.’
Ross levered himself off the sofa, and as he moved towards her she caught the faintest trace of lemon and musk and she found herself breathing it in like life-giving oxygen. The waves of his hair were all tousled and unruly, the clever eyes inky-dark and gleaming as he came over and stared down at her. ‘So when will we see you next?’
Ursula’s breath caught in her throat as she tried to stop breathing like a drowning woman. She rarely got this close to him. She swallowed. Sometimes, the lines between their professional and personal lives tended to overlap and become hazy—for her, anyway. Especially on an emotive occasion like Christmas Eve.
She wondered whether he could tell the kind of effect he was having on her right now. Surely he must. He must know that she would fall into his arms like a ripe fig any time he wanted...
‘I’ll come round tomorrow evening when I get back from Amber’s,’ she said brightly.
‘Good.’ He walked over to the fireplace, took a slim, silver parcel from where it had been sitting unnoticed on the mantelpiece, and handed it to her. ‘This is for you. Mainly to say thank you for everything you’ve done for Katy. I want you to know just how much we appreciate it Happy Christmas, Ursula.’ His eyes sparked with dark mischief. ‘But don’t open it until the morning.’
He had given her presents at Christmas before—but somehow this one felt different. Ursula stared down at the glittery gift she was holding and felt swamped by an overwhelming rush of affection for the man. ‘Oh, R-Ross,’ she stumbled. ‘You shouldn’t—’
‘And if you tell me that I shouldn’t have bought you a Christmas present this year,’ he responded grimly, ‘when you’ve somehow managed to bring a huge element of stability into my daughter’s life after her mother walked out...then I honestly think I’ll grab hold of you by the shoulders and shake you, Miss O’Neil!’
Ursula recognised fighting talk when she heard it. She fought down the tears which were threatening to well up behind her eyes. ‘Th-thanks very much,’ she said, her voice sounding wobbly. ‘It’s just that I haven’t brought your present with me.’
‘It’ll keep.’ He flicked her a questioning look. ‘You’re getting very emotional tonight, Ursula.’
‘It’s an emotional time of year. Katy must be missing her mother. Especially tonight.’
He shook his head. ‘I guess she must—but any time I bring the subject up, she tells me that she’s happy with the situation as it is. She doesn’t talk about her much. Not to me, anyway.’
Ursula pressed on. ‘Maybe she’s afraid to? Afraid of upsetting you, perhaps?’
‘I’m not a hypocrite, Ursula,’ he said quietly. ‘Katy knows that. And I don’t play the distraught, deserted husband just because people expect me to—that’s not my style. I respect my daughter far too much to pretend to have feelings I don’t have.’
‘You mean it’s your pride which has been hurt more than your heart?’
He looked at her steadily. ‘Oddly enough, I’m a hurt-free zone at the moment. My only concerns are for Katy.’
‘And you’re worried she’s bottling everything up inside?’
‘I honestly don’t think she is—she seems genuinely happy. Maybe things are better for her this way. Jane and I always tried to maintain an air of civility between us, but perhaps the underlying tension was always there. And maybe Katy was more sensitive to that than we thought. She’s been quite talkative about the forthcoming trip to Prague.’ He gave her a slow smile. ‘She’s delighted that you’re coming with us, by the way.’ He paused. ‘And so am I.’
‘It’s going to be my trip of a lifetime,’ she told him candidly. ‘But we ought to be careful, Ross—’
His eyes darkened. ‘Just what are you suggesting, Ursula?’ he mocked softly.
‘Well, certainly not what you seem to be implying!’ she retorted, then spoilt it all by blushing. ‘I just don’t want her thinking of me as a...substitute mother, that’s all.’ She dipped her head to hide her face and a tendril of hair flopped forward. ‘It would be so easy for her to do.’
‘I know it would.’ His voice sounded thoughtful, and unexpectedly he reached his hand out and brushed away the dark lock of hair which lay curled on her cheek. ‘Easy for me, too.’
Ursula looked up at him, her expression of disbelief dissolving into one of acute pleasure as he touched her. How could a gesture be so innocent and yet so provocative? Yet surely she was overreacting? His fingertips were barely making contact with her skin, but, oh, she could have melted in a pool at his feet.
He let his hand rest there for a moment. ‘As you said, it’s an emotional time of year. I think it might be better to say goodnight now, rather than run the risk of getting into something we both might regret in the morning.’ And he moved his hand away from her face.
She blinked rapidly to conceal her disappointment, but he was right—of course he was right.
‘I’d better go, then,’ she said, dying for him to tell her that, no, he couldn’t bear to let her go. To take her in his arms and kiss her until she was breathless with kissing.
‘Yes, go, Ursula!’ he agreed, and suddenly he looked angry. ‘Just go! For God’s sake! When you turn those deep blue eyes on me that way you make me feel like...’
‘Like?’
‘I don’t think I’d better go into how I feel right now,’ he said drily. ‘I don’t want you getting it into your sweet little head that I’m some kind of depraved monster...’
‘Oh, you’re not a monster,’ she told him shakily. ‘That’s the last way in the world I would describe you.’
‘But the jury’s still out on the depraved part?’ he teased.
Ursula smiled up at him and gripped onto the silver parcel as though someone might try to prise it from her fingers, afraid of what else she might say if she stayed. ‘Happy Christmas, Ross!’
‘Happy Christmas, Ursula!’ he said softly. ‘Grab your coat and go home.’
‘Just let me run upstairs and say goodnight to Katy,’ she said. ‘I promised I would.’
‘Yes,’ he said, his eyes following her as she crossed the room. ‘So you did.’
As soon as she reached home, she got straight onto the phone to her sister.
‘Amber?’
Amber yawned. ‘Mmm?’
‘Ross has bought me a present.’
‘What is it?’
‘I don’t know—he told me not to open it until tomorrow morning.’
‘Well, then—phone me back in the morning.’
But Ursula couldn’t wait. This parcel did not look like the vouchers from a well-known department store which he usually put in an envelope for her at Christmas! ‘Hang on!’ she told her sister, and ripped off the silver wrapping paper with the greedy enthusiasm of a child.
‘It’s a watch!’ she breathed, as she pulled the lid from the box where it gleamed softly silver and palest gold. ‘My God—it obviously cost the earth!’
‘He can afford it!’ And then her sister burst the bubble completely by remarking, ‘Considering everything you do for him, he might have bought you something more personal —like a necklace, or a ring or something.’
‘A ring? Or a necklace?’ Ursula glared at the telephone, thinking that a beautiful watch was personal enough for her. ‘Why on earth should he buy me something personal when our relationship is strictly business?’
‘Strictly business, you say? Yeah, sure, Ursula! It might be fro
m his point of view, but...’ Amber’s voice trailed off intriguingly, as if no further comment was necessary.
‘But what?’
‘Well, you wear your heart emblazoned on your sleeve for all to see—you always have done. And it’s obvious to me—and to Finn, incidentally—that you simply adore the man.’
‘Of course I do,’ replied Ursula, with dignity. ‘But as a boss, that’s all. And I’m no different from anybody else. Everyone adores Ross.’
‘Hmm,’ commented Amber, making no attempt to disguise the disbelief in her voice. ‘As a boss, he’s managed to involve you pretty thoroughly in the rest of his life, hasn’t he? Working with him from his home? Helping look after his daughter for him? You kept that quiet for long enough!’
‘Because I know what a nasty, suspicious mind you’ve got! His wife has left him, for goodness’ sake!’
‘Exactly!’ crowed Amber triumphantly. ‘So therefore it’s much more than strictly business! It must be!’
I wish! thought Ursula gloomily, before resolutely pushing the thought away. After all, she was a very practical person, and there was absolutely nothing to be gained from wishing for the impossible.
CHAPTER SEVEN
July
‘I CAN’T believe that I’m eleven next week!’ squealed Katy excitedly.
Ursula smiled as she looked at the sunny-faced child reflected back at her through the dressing-table mirror. ‘Another year gone by,’ she said softly.
Almost a year since Jane Sheridan had left the family home. That Katy could look so happy was no mean achievement, she thought contentedly. Ross’s achievement, mainly, because he had coped admirably, slipping smoothly into the role of single father without ever resorting to dishing out insults about his wife—certainly not in front of Katy, anyway. The times he had mentioned Jane he had sounded nothing more than factual, though Ursula wondered whether there were times at night when he ached for the comfort of another body...
She stroked the brush through Katy’s dark hair, pulling it back off her face into a French plait. She wished it weren’t so hot. The sultry air had made the child’s hair all sticky. ‘I can’t believe that you’re nearly eleven, either! Though sometimes you’re so grown up you seem like twice that age!’
‘And sometimes I’m so naughty I seem like half it!’ chanted Katy resignedly.
‘I didn’t say that!’ protested Ursula, flapping her hand in front of her face in an attempt to circulate what little air there was.
‘No. Daddy says it sometimes—but then he tells me off much more than you do. Though only when I’m naughty,’ she added as a concession.
‘Ah! Well, that’s what daddies are for. To tell you things you may not want to hear but really need to know. Tough love, they call it.’
‘And is that different from true love?’ asked Katy.
Ursula wrinkled her nose. This was a slightly tricky topic to discuss with someone whose parents had split up. She did her best. ‘Well, true love is when two people can’t bear to live without one another.’
‘You mean, like your sister and Finn?’
‘Yes! Exactly like Amber and Finn!’
Through the mirror’s reflection, Katy stared at her very hard. ‘Sometimes I wish you were my mummy!’ she blurted out fiercely.
Ursula gave her a sad, sweet smile. ‘Sometimes I wish I was, too, honey!’ she answered truthfully. ‘But I’m not.’ She hoped the conviction in her voice didn’t sound forced. ‘And your mummy loves you very, very much, you know, Katy.’
Katy stuck her bottom lip out. ‘She lives in Australia!’ she answered moodily. ‘And I hardly ever get to see her!’
‘But when you do it’s in wonderful places, isn’t it? Remember New Year? In Prague?’
Katy’s eyes shone, her confusion at the complexity of human relationships eclipsed by the memory. ‘Oh, yes! I remember the fireworks,’ she breathed. ‘And you came with us!’
‘I was very lucky,’ agreed Ursula.
‘I wanted you to come!’ said Katy fiercely.
‘I know you did!’ Ursula hoped she didn’t sound too wistful.
‘And so did Daddy!’
‘Did he?’ asked Ursula casually, her heart missing a beat.
‘Uh-huh! And Mummy bought me that big cone of sweets, and my tongue went green and then I was sick everywhere! Do you remember?’
Ursula vividly remembered clearing it up. ‘I certainly do,’ she agreed calmly.
‘And you stayed in the same hotel as me and Daddy!’ Katy went on.
Ursula’s heart thumped with a guilt she had no reason to feel. ‘Well, yes. I did. But that was only so that he and I could go sightseeing. It...it seemed to make sense,’ she finished lamely.
Katy began plucking at the material of her skirt. ‘Mummy and Julian kept asking me if you and Daddy were sleeping in the same room—’
‘They what?’ demanded Ursula, genuinely flabbergasted. ‘What on earth would make them think that?’
‘Oh, I told them you weren’t,’ Katy put in hastily. ‘Well, you wouldn’t, would you—unless you were in love?’
‘What was that?’ came an amused voice from the doorway of the bedroom, and Ursula and Katy both turned around to see Ross standing there, looking unfamiliarly smart though a little rumpled in a pale grey suit which emphasised the darkness of the hair which waved gently on his collar.
He had spent the morning recording a television show which promised to reveal the secrets of the advertising industry to a cynical world. ‘You were saying?’ he queried.
Ursula and Katy’s eyes met in a moment of perfect understanding.
‘Oh, we were just talking about love,’ said Katy innocently.
Dark eyes sparked an interested query in Ursula’s direction. ‘Really?’ he murmured.
‘The tough love of parenting,’ added Ursula immediately, in case he got the wrong idea. Or the right one. ‘Actually, we were talking about Katy’s birthday before that.’
‘Oh?’ Ross walked into Katy’s bedroom, slowly unknotting his tie. He looked questioningly at his daughter as he shrugged out of his suit jacket. ‘Any ideas about what you want to do?’
‘I’ve decided I don’t want a party this year, Daddy,’ Katy said firmly.
Ross nodded, silently meeting Ursula’s eyes as they remembered the fiasco of the last one. ‘Then don’t have one, kitten. What would you like to do instead?’
‘I’d like to go out for dinner in a nice restaurant. Somewhere fancy—just you and me and Ursula.’
Ursula went pink. Maybe Ross would think that she had primed Katy to say that. ‘You don’t have to include me, you know.’
‘I know I don’t!’ said Katy. ‘But I want to. You will come, won’t you, Ursula?’
Still pink with embarrassment, Ursula shrugged. ‘If that’s okay with your daddy.’
‘Of course it is,’ murmured Ross, and his eyes danced as they rested on the high colour in Ursula’s cheeks. ‘You look terribly hot, Ursula.’
‘Well, maybe that’s because I am hot!’ said Ursula, feeling a bead of sweat begin to trickle a slow path down towards her breasts. ‘It’s July, for heaven’s sake—and we’re in the middle of the biggest heatwave this decade. What do you expect?’
‘You should try wearing something cooler,’ he advised her critically, his dark eyes narrowing as he took in her denim skirt and tee shirt.
‘What—something cool, like your suit?’ she asked sweetly.
‘Yeah, why not? You’d look pretty good in a man’s suit!’ he quipped, and then narrowed his eyes as he appeared to give this some thought. ‘The severe, masculine cut would look rather fetching if it was shaped by those curves.’
Ursula didn’t have a clue how to respond to what sounded awfully like a compliment. She heard the shrill ring of the doorbell with something approaching relief.
‘That’ll be Sophie-Jo!’ said Katy. ‘And I’m supposed to be ready!’
‘You are ready,’ said Ursula. ‘I’ve pa
cked a bag, and your swimming stuff.’
Ross raised his eyebrows at them questioningly.
‘Sophie-Jo’s mother is taking the two of them swimming and then out for afternoon tea,’ explained Ursula.
‘And I’m staying the night!’ chimed in Katy. ‘Don’t you remember me asking you, Daddy?’
Ross frowned. ‘Possibly. I’ve had my head so full of a new campaign this week it’s a wonder I managed to remember to get out of bed this morning! Come on, then, kitten—I’ll come and see you out,’ said Ross, following Katy as she went clattering out of the bedroom. Just by the door, he halted and shot another glance at Ursula’s flushed cheeks. ‘Come on down,’ he purred, ‘and I’ll fix you something cool to drink.’
After he’d gone, Ursula risked a look in the mirror. She didn’t look hot—she looked frightful! No matter what she did with her hair on a day like this, it was simply too thick and too long to do anything other than lie like a heavy weight piled up on top of her head. Her cleavage felt all clammy, too—but that was one of the drawbacks of having large breasts.
On a day as oppressively hot as today, every article of clothing was superfluous, really. She sighed as she dabbed at her damp forehead with a tissue and then went downstairs to find Ross.
He was in the kitchen, adding tons of ice to a glass jug of lemon barley water, and already the frosting had begun to trickle enticingly down the side.
He glanced up as she walked in. ‘Ready for this?’
‘It’s making me cool just looking at it!’
He pulled the tie from around his neck and dropped it over the back of a chair, on which was sitting an upmarket carrier bag. He peered inside to see a hat made of palest blue silk.
‘And what’s this?’ He frowned.
Ursula had spent far too much money on it to tolerate any criticism. ‘You mean you’ve never seen a hat before?’
‘Never one with quite such an outrageous brim,’ he answered gravely. ‘You’ve obviously bought it to wear to Amber’s wedding.’
‘That’s right.’
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