He shook his head. ‘I don’t know—that’s the trouble! I’m so worried I can’t even think straight! I just keep trying to think what I would do, if I were Jane.’
Ursula stared at him. ‘I know what most people would do,’ she said slowly, not bothering to add that it was an option not open to her. Nor to him, either. ‘They’d go to their mother’s...’
‘But Jane’s mother is in Australia,’ he said. ‘And Katy’s passport is still here.’
Ursula nodded. ‘Then her mother must know something. Surely Jane would have said something to her before she left the country?’
‘Yes,’ he said thoughtfully, and glanced at his watch. ‘Of course, it’s the middle of the night out there—’
Ursula shrugged. ‘Well, it’s either that or get the police involved—and you don’t want to do that, do you?’
He shook his head and flicked through the pages of his phone book. ‘Not yet,’ he said ominously.
Ursula watched as he began to ring the number, and the dark guilt on his face was like a knife stabbing through her. He blames himself, she realised—for being with me. And therefore he probably blames me, too. Oh, please know something, she prayed, as if Jane’s mother could hear her. Please help us get her back.
‘Hello?’ Ross’s voice sounded loud in the silent hallway. ‘Marian? I’m sorry to wake you—it’s Ross. No, no, nothing’s wrong...well, that’s not strictly true. Jane has just turned up out of the blue and taken Katy without telling anyone where she’s taking her, and we’re naturally very worried, and—’
His voice terminated abruptly as he began to listen, nodding and saying ‘yes’ at frequent intervals. Ursula anxiously searched his face for clues, but there was none—he looked neither more nor less worried than before he had made the phone call.
When eventually he replaced the receiver she looked at him, a question in her eyes.
‘She says the only thing she knows is that Jane was upset by a fax which Katy sent her a couple of days ago.’
‘And what was in the fax?’
He shook his head. ‘No idea. Either Jane’s mother genuinely didn’t know—or she wouldn’t say. But there’s one thing she did tell me...’
Their eyes met in a fusion of mixed and turbulent emotions.
‘What?’ she questioned softly, wishing that she could simply put her arms around him and comfort him.
‘Just that Julian didn’t come with her. She left him behind.’
CHAPTER TEN
URSULA stared at Ross in bewilderment. ‘Run that one past me again.’
‘My ex-wife has left her lover behind on the other side of the world,’ came the toneless statement.
Ursula didn’t feel that now was the time to remind him that Jane was not his ex-anything. She was still his wife. She pushed away the paralysing feelings of jealousy. ‘And what’s the significance of that?’
‘You want a worst-case scenario?’
She wanted the comfort and warmth back which they’d shared this afternoon, when they had seemed poised on the brink of some new understanding. But somehow the idea was lost to her now. It was as though someone had switched a light off in his eyes, leaving them cold and bleak and uncaring. Whether they found Katy or not...
He ploughed on, not seeming to notice her frozen silence. ‘Maybe Jane has split up with Julian—’
Pain pierced her calm armoury. ‘And if she has, then maybe she wants to come back to you?’
‘But I don’t want her back, Ursula,’ he gritted impatiently. ‘I didn’t before, and I don’t now! I’ve already told you that!’
The words cost her a huge effort, but she knew that they would shadow her life if she didn’t say them at a time when they were crucial. Like now. ‘But maybe Katy would prefer it that way—with the two of you together, the way you used to be.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ve never seen Katy happier than she’s been just lately.’
‘Maybe she acts happy to please you.’ She saw his look of denial and nodded vigorously. ‘Yes! Children are notoriously conservative, you know, Ross. Like you said—they like the happy-ever-after version. They prefer two parents living together even if those parents are half killing one another. And if you don’t believe me—then read some of the literature on divorce and separation!’
‘Why are you saying all this to me, Ursula?’ he demanded. ‘Are you really telling me that you’d prefer it if I got back together with Jane?’
‘Oh, get real! You know that I...I...’
‘Yes?’ he queried softly. ‘You what?’
She wanted to say that she didn’t think she could carry on working for him if he was reconciled with his wife, but she suspected that was going to be the case anyway. Because she couldn’t waste the rest of her life yearning for her boss—existing in an emotional shadowland instead of trying to find some read happiness for herself.
But she chickened out. ‘I... just want to help you find Katy.’
‘And just how do you suggest I go about doing that?’ he questioned silkily. ‘Any bright ideas?’
The tension which surrounded him was almost palpable, cloaking him with the dark, shadowy air of the predator, and now Ursula could see the pulse beating frantically against the fine skin at his temple.
Was he still angry with her? she wondered. Or with himself? Thinking that if he hadn’t gone to meet her at the airport then his daughter would be home here safely.
‘I think we should just wait.’
‘Wait?’ he echoed blankly.
‘For Katy to come back.’
‘And what if she doesn’t?’ he said, his voice catching.
‘But she will! She can’t just disappear into thin air in this day and age! And you’ve got to start believing that, Ross! You’ve got to! Meanwhile, I’m going to make some tea. Hot, sweet tea,’ she added firmly. ‘While you rack your brains to think of anywhere else Jane might have taken her. She must still have friends in London?’
He shook his head. ‘Not the kind of friends who’d want to take a child in.’
But Ursula had got no further than putting the kettle on when the telephone rang, and she ran out into the hall in time to see Ross snatch it up.
‘Hello?’
This time Ursula knew that it really was Katy, because the slow smile which curved his mouth with pleasure was like the sun coming up.
‘Are you okay?’ He directed a triumphant thumbs-up at Ursula and the smile became a grin. ‘Good. No, of course I’m not angry with you, kitten.’ There was a pause. An odd, chilly sort of pause... ‘Can you put your mother on, please?’
Ursula turned and swiftly walked back into the kitchen. The last thing she wanted was to overhear a blazing row between Ross and Jane. It might inhibit him from saying what he really felt; though by the sound of his voice...
She felt plagued by insecurities while she made the tea, but outwardly at least she remained calm. And when Ross came back into the kitchen she could see that most of the tension had gone from his body.
She didn’t say a word, just looked at him.
‘Did you hear that?’
She nodded. ‘Some of it.’
‘Katy’s fine. Jane’s dropping her off at Sophie-Jo’s in half an hour’s time.’
‘Why not here?’
‘She said she couldn’t face coming to the house at the moment.’ His mouth hardened. ‘That’s just fine by me.’
‘And did she say where she’d taken Katy? Or why?’
‘They’ve been out shopping, apparently. That’s all she said. She wouldn’t say why she’d pulled such a stupid, irresponsible stunt and I didn’t feel inclined to ask her. Not until I have Katy safely back, anyway. I don’t want what’s left of the relationship to deteriorate into open warfare.’
Ursula pushed his tea across the table towards him. ‘Here. Drink this.’
He shook his head. ‘I’d better not. I feel too restless to sit here drinking tea. I might just make my way over there now. I could get caug
ht in traffic.’
Ursula nodded, suddenly feeling redundant. Knowing that she had no place in this father-daughter reunion. But Jane had. ‘I’ll...I’ll go home, I think, Ross.’
‘No.’ He gave her a swift, hard look which made her heart lurch with excitement and hope. ‘Don’t go. I want you to stay here until I get back.’
And then he spoilt it all by adding, ‘Let’s try and reassure Katy that everything is business as usual—and that means you being around. The way you usually are.’
‘Yes,’ said Ursula quietly, swallowing down her disappointment. ‘I suppose it does.’ Now she felt like some ancient family retainer, a feeling which only increased when Ross slammed his way out of the house without even remembering to say goodbye.
But of course he was distracted. What father wouldn’t be? He’d imagined all kinds of terrible fates which could have befallen his daughter. That was what being a parent did to you sometimes—put you on a knife-edge of fear. Ursula had no children of her own, but she had been a substitute parent to Amber for long enough to be able to empathise with Ross.
Her task now was not to mope around wondering where they went from here, but to be a friend to Katy, and make her homecoming as welcoming as possible.
She looked up at the clock. She would make a batch of Katy’s favourite scones. It would fill the house with delicious smells and give her something to do while she was waiting.
She put on an apron and began to weigh out flour and butter and milk and sugar, sifting and rubbing and cutting and kneading—and she had just put the scones in the oven when she heard the front door slam.
Wiping a stray hair off her face with a floury finger, she glanced up at the clock again. Jane must have dropped Katy off early, and Ross had clearly been risking another speeding ticket to have got back here this quickly!
She ran into the hall, untying her apron as she went, her smile of excited welcome dying into an expression of disbelief when she saw that it wasn’t Ross who stood in the wide hallway.
It was Jane.
Jane in a pristine white linen dress which was miraculously free of creases, with bare brown legs and cherry-tipped toenails peeping out of white sandals. A mulish, steely-eyed Jane, her almond eyes flickering obsessively over Ursula.
‘Been cooking?’ she sneered.
Ursula became acutely aware of what she must look like as the plastic apron flapped around her. The clothes she had worn back from Ireland had been chosen for comfort, not fashion—and she certainly hadn’t been expecting Ross to meet her off the plane!
Some of her hair was scraped back off her face, but wild strands of it were dangling untidily down her back and she was certain there must be flour on her cheeks. She was so taken aback by Jane’s unexpected appearance that she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Jane clearly had no such problem. ‘I guess you need to cook in order to eat. And you sure must eat a lot to maintain that hefty great frame!’
Ursula forced herself to remain calm and not to snap back the first insult which sprang to mind. She must react like a grown woman. She must. ‘Where’s Katy?’ she asked.
Jane affected surprise. ‘Oh, so you miss her, do you? I’m not surprised! I expect you find that your presence here isn’t so vital when Katy’s not around, do you?’ She fixed Ursula with a look of scorn. ‘Because I hope you don’t imagine for a moment that Ross would have even glanced at someone like you if he hadn’t had the inconvenience of a young daughter to look after!’
‘Where’s Katy now?’ Ursula repeated calmly.
Jane glanced edgily towards the door. ‘With Ross, I expect. I dropped her off at Sophie-Jo’s just after I rang here. I’ve been waiting outside until I saw Ross leave to collect her—’
‘Why?’
‘Why?’ Jane’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Why, so I could have a word with you in private, of course. Find out more about the woman my daughter is so longing to have as a step mother! To discover how you’ve managed to persuade her to send a fax all the way to Australia, telling me she thinks her father is in love with you!’
‘A fax?’
‘Yes, a fax!’
‘I-in love with me?’
Jane curled her mouth. ‘Apparently.’
Ursula stared at her in confusion. ‘I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Oh, come on! The innocent little virgin act may have worked on Ross...’ Jane’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as she watched Ursula’s colour rise, and then her thin face seemed to crumple like a sheet of paper. ‘Oh, my God!’ she exclaimed. ‘I don’t believe it! Don’t tell me you actually were a virgin?’
‘Am!’ Ursula bit back indignantly.
Jane laughed. ‘I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised,’ she said, but there was no disguising the relief in her voice. ‘I don’t imagine that you’ve been exactly inundated with offers!’
Ursula let out a sigh. ‘Is there any point in our having this conversation, Jane?’
‘There’s every point!’ Jane angrily jabbed a finger in the air, and now Ursula could see that the cherry-painted nails were bitten down to the quick. ‘Are you planning to have an affair with my husband?’
‘Having affairs with other people’s husbands isn’t something which has ever been on my agenda.’ Ursula gave her a steady look. ‘Obviously.’
The look was returned. ‘That doesn’t answer my question.’
‘It’s the only answer you’re going to get,’ said Ursula with dignity. But oddly enough the conversation—far from offending her—was filling her with a new kind of strength. Because it was clear that Jane Sheridan actually saw her as some kind of rival!
Jane peered closely at Ursula, her eyes blinking rapidly, as though she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. ‘I wondered when his halo would eventually slip,’ she commented in disbelief. ‘But I never dreamed that it would be with someone like you!’
She snaked her tongue over cherry lips. ‘But for heaven’s sake—don’t make the mistake of thinking he wants you as a permanent fixture in his life, will you, Ursula? If Ross is making a play for you then it’s because it suits him to do so. And one way of keeping his home life sweet and running smoothly is to screw the nanny! Even if she’s a hulking great spinster like you!’
Ursula felt her knees threaten to give way. Tiny multicoloured dots began to swarm in front of her eyes. Her throat dried and there was a strange roaring sound in her ears, like a train approaching from a long way off. But she wasn’t going to collapse, or faint, or retaliate. No matter how tempted she felt. No, sir. Right then her primary concern was not for herself, nor even for Ross.
It was for Katy.
Because Katy was the child—the innocent child in all this. And Ursula was not going to let the chaotic world of grown-ups hurt her any more.
So what would be best for Katy?
‘I don’t think it’s a good idea if we’re both here when they get back,’ she said quietly to Jane, her voice sounding miraculously calm and controlled.
Suddenly Jane looked uncomfortable—as if Ursula’s unruffled reaction had not been what she’d been expecting. Her eyes sharpened.
‘So...’ Ursula forced the words out ‘...in that case, I’d better leave.’
But Jane shook her head violently. ‘No, don’t! For God’s sake—you stay here and I’ll go. I don’t want to see Ross at the moment,’ she said.
Ursula could understand exactly why she didn’t want to see her husband, but... ‘Don’t you want to see Katy?’ she asked her in bewilderment.
Jane stared at her, and her eyes suddenly filled with tears. ‘You bitch,’ she whispered. ‘You scheming, conniving little bitch!’ And she wrenched the front door open and hurled herself down the path without even bothering to close it behind her.
Ursula forced herself to go through the motions of behaving normally. She washed her hands and face and brushed her hair and tied it back, then took her apron off and hung it on the hook behind the kitc
hen door. She even managed to time the scones beautifully, so they were cooling on a wire rack on the table when she heard the sound of Katy and Ross arriving home.
Now what did she do?
But it seemed that she didn’t have to do anything except stand there as Katy flew across the kitchen and into her arms, with the aim and speed of a fighter-jet.
‘Oh, Ursula! You’re back! I missed you!’
She had missed Katy too—but she bit back the emotional words whose meaning could be taken the wrong way. Especially at a fragile time like this. ‘Hello, Katy, darling!’ Ursula hugged the child tightly, and met Ross’s eyes over the top of her head. ‘Did you have a good time with Mummy?’
‘It was okay.’ Katy shrugged, turning round to stare at her father. ‘But she was acting kind of strange and jumpy. What was Amber’s wedding like?’
‘The most beautiful thing you could imagine!’
‘Did the dress look nice?’
‘The dress looked beautiful!’
‘Ursula has some photos,’ said Ross with a smile. ‘I expect she’ll show you them later.’
Katy sniffed the air with hungry recognition, then spied the scones on the table. ‘Ooh—scones! Are they for us?’
‘They are.’ Ursula nodded, trying her best to behave as she usually would, though it wasn’t easy. Particularly with Ross fixing that dark, unwavering gaze on her, which was making the blood in her veins pound a slow, steady pulse.
He raised his eyebrows as he took in her hot, flushed face. ‘Katy wants to go out for pizza in the village. Will you come with us, Ursula?’
It sounded like heaven, but Ursula forced herself to say no. There were right times, and wrong times. Katy had just been through a fairly traumatic experience and she needed to talk it through with her father. Alone. ‘Ross, I can’t. I haven’t even unpacked after Ireland.’
He held her gaze with a look of innocent query—the kind of look which would have melted an ice cream at fifty paces. ‘Sure?’
She steeled herself. ‘Quite sure.’
He studied her thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded and glanced over at his daughter. ‘Kitten, will you—?’
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