But instead, where were we going? To see the one person who made me feel like a total freak. And I just knew there'd be drama, because with my mom, there always was.
Still, I tried to smile when I opened the apartment door and saw Jax standing in the hallway wearing ratty jeans and a plain gray T-shirt.
My smile was a total waste.
He wasn't smiling, not even a little. All he said was, "You ready?"
I gave a nervous laugh. "As ready as I'll ever be."
The laugh was a waste, too.
Looking grimmer than ever, he said, "I've got a van out front." And then, he stepped aside, as if wanting me to go first.
Out of politeness? Or to make sure that I didn't back out? I didn't know, and I didn't want to speculate. So instead, I stepped through the open doorway and locked the door behind me. Silently, I moved past him, heading down the stairs that led outside.
Sure enough, parked in front of the house was a white van that looked oddly familiar. Momentarily perplexed, I stopped to stare.
And then, I realized where I'd seen it. Holy hell, it was the same van that Jax had sideswiped on the night we met.
I was almost sure of it.
Drivable or not, the thing looked awful. There was a long jagged dent that extended the vehicle's entire length. Plus, the dent itself was marred by streaks of red paint that matched the color of Jaden's car, the one that had collided with the van.
As I stood a few paces from the curb, I couldn't help but wonder why Jax was driving the van at all. Was he looking to make a point? Like, was this some sort of reminder of how much I'd inconvenienced him?
It seemed so out of character, and yet, I had to wonder. I also had to wonder why the van hadn't been repaired. If the vehicle belonged to anyone else, I'd assume they simply couldn’t afford it.
But surely, this wasn't the case with Jax. Was it?
No. Definitely not.
As he strode past me to open the passenger's side door, I asked, "Is that the same van? Meaning the one you hit that night?"
He flicked his head toward the passenger's seat. "Probably."
As I climbed inside, I said, "You don't know for sure?"
"Alright. Yeah. It is." His jaw tightened. "Is that a problem?"
I stiffened. "No. Of course not."
"Good to know." And with that, he shut the van door, leaving me staring at him through the passenger's side window. More confused than ever, I watched as he circled around the vehicle's front and then silently settled himself behind the wheel.
When he fired up the engine, I said, "I guess I should give you the address, huh?"
"No. I already have it."
"Oh." I hesitated. "How?"
"Does it matter?"
Again, I hesitated. No. And yes. Finally, I asked, "Is something wrong?"
He gave me a look. "What do you think?"
I had no idea what to say. Even though the engine was still running, he'd made no move to pull the away from the curb.
Maybe that was a good thing. Suddenly, this was feeling like a giant mistake. Oh sure, I'd known it would be awful, but I hadn't known it would be awful like this.
Here, I'd been bracing myself for a family spectacle, only to be waylaid by something even more humiliating – the dawning realization that Jax didn't want to be here.
Already, my stomach was in knots. Damn it. I should've known.
In spite of Allie's claims, he obviously hadn't volunteered for this little excursion. Rather, he'd been guilted into it or something, no doubt by Allie, who probably thought she was doing me a favor.
Some favor.
What on Earth had she been thinking?
As my thoughts churned with all kinds of uncertainty, I had to remind myself that it wasn't really her fault. In a way, it was Jaden's. Like the douchebag he was, he'd decided just two days ago that she had to work today, regardless of our plans.
And Allie – no doubt with the best intentions – had convinced Jax to help me in her place.
Now, I was kicking myself for not realizing it sooner. Of course he hadn't volunteered. I mean, who would?
I gave Jax a sideways glance. Allie had called him a brooder, and now, I could totally see it, because whatever he was thinking, it was eating him alive.
I heard myself say, "You know what? On second thought, I'll just pick up my stuff later, like maybe next Saturday or something."
His gaze snapped in my direction. "The hell you will."
"Or I won't pick it up at all." I tried for a casual shrug. "Really, it's not a big deal."
"Is that so?"
"Sure. Definitely."
I tried to say it like I believed it. And maybe part of me did. I mean, sure, I'd be abandoning most of my clothes, not to mention my cheap notebook computer, along with a few other essentials.
But it wouldn’t be the end of the world. And besides, I didn't truly plan on giving up. Instead, I planned on doing this on a different day, when it would be Allie in the driver's seat, and not the brooding billionaire who suddenly seemed like a stranger.
Jax said, "I've got a better idea."
"What?"
"You stay. I'll go."
Well, this was just terrific. Apparently, the way he saw it, the only thing worse than running this stupid errand was running this stupid errand together.
Was my company that terrible?
If so, it made no sense. I'd seen Jax at the coffee shop twice earlier in the week. He'd been fine with my company then. In fact, both times he'd lingered longer than I might've expected. And we'd had a great time. Or at least, I'd thought we did.
Now, I asked, "Is that a hint?"
"I don't hint," he replied. "I'm telling you straight up, you should stay here."
"Oh yeah?" I made a scoffing sound. "Why?"
"Because I don't want you near those people."
Well, that was unexpected.
"Those people?" I said. "Who do you mean? My mom?"
"Yeah. Her. And that Tabitha chick. And what about Dominic?"
"What about him?"
"You shouldn’t be in the same room with that fucker." His mouth twisted. "Especially alone."
What exactly was he implying? I scoffed, "Like I'd even want to."
"You always get what you want?"
"No."
"Exactly."
I stared at him for another long moment. "Is that why you're in a bad mood? Because you think I'm planning to be alone with Dominic?"
If I weren't so stressed, I might've laughed. "I'm not interested in him, if that's what you're thinking."
Jax frowned. "You think I don't know that?"
"Honestly, I don't know what to think."
"Alright," he said. "Answer me this. Is he interested in you?"
It was something I didn't want to contemplate. Still, the answer was embarrassingly obvious. Yes. He was interested, whether for himself or – I stifled a shudder – his clients. Either way, it was more than a little creepy.
Still, I lifted my chin to say, "It doesn't matter. He's not even gonna be there."
"Damn right, he's not."
I felt like I was missing something. "Sorry, what?"
"I'm just saying, you shouldn’t take any chances."
"I wasn't planning on it."
"You sure about that?"
I gave a sigh of frustration. "I don't even know what you mean."
"It means, I'll get your stuff. Not a problem."
I almost laughed in his face. "Not a problem? Are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
No. He didn't.
But it didn't matter. I'd had just about enough. "Well, obviously it's some sort of problem, because you've been crabby ever since you showed up."
For the briefest instant, he looked like he just might smile. "Crabby, huh?"
"Yes. Crabby."
"Alright. You wanna know why?"
"I know why," I said. "It's because Allie talked you into helping me, and…" I let
my words trail off. And what? With another sigh, I finished by saying, "Listen, I don't blame you if you'd rather not. I just wish that you'd told me, that's all. You could've saved yourself a trip."
And then, there was the thing I didn't say. And I could've saved myself a world of humiliation.
Jax said. "You wanna know what I wish?"
"What?"
"I wish you'd be more careful."
"I am careful."
"No. You're not. You know you can't go alone, right?"
"Well, obviously, since I don't own a car." And how embarrassing was that?
"Or," he continued, "with a stranger."
I stared in confusion. "I don't even know what you mean."
"Don't you?"
"No, I…" And then it hit me. I sank back in the seat. "Oh."
Chapter 42
As I sat in the passenger's seat of that beat-up van, it became glaringly obvious that Jax knew a lot more than I'd realized.
An hour ago, in a momentary burst of panic, I'd called Allie at the office and begged her to tell Jax that I didn't need his help after all.
When she'd asked what I'd been planning to do instead, I'd mentioned the possibility of doing the whole ride-share thing.
I could still recall what I'd told her. "Cheaper than a taxi and more flexible, right?"
Allie's response hadn't been enthusiastic. In fact, she'd berated me – and quite loudly, too – for even thinking of going alone.
"But I won't be going completely alone," I'd told her. "I'll just pay the driver to wait or something."
Okay, it's not that I was in love with the idea either, but the way I saw it, it still would've better than watching Jax get drooled on by my mom.
I liked him. A lot. And even if my mom didn't try to molest him, I still hated the idea of dragging him through needless drama.
His voice, quieter now, broke into my thoughts. "You wanna know why I came early?"
I turned to look at him. "Why?"
"Because I'm walking by Allie's office, and I hear her telling somebody that going alone is a bad idea. And I stop, because I'm thinking, 'She can't be talking to Cassidy.' But then, after some yelling back and forth—"
"Hey, I wasn't yelling."
After only the briefest pause, he continued. "After the yelling, I hear Allie say, 'You can't do that. He's already on his way.'"
"Wait, so you hadn't already left? Did Allie know that?"
He shrugged. "Don't know, don't care."
"Why not?"
"Because she did the right thing."
I almost didn't know what to say. I felt like I'd been ganged up on – and even worse, outsmarted. And yet, the whole thing was obnoxiously sweet as much as I hated to admit it. Still, I couldn't help but mutter, "No wonder she was talking so loud."
"Good thing, too." His gaze locked on mine. "Because let's get one thing straight. You are not going alone."
His eyes were dark and intense, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he might've done if I had gone alone. From the look in his eyes, I almost didn't want to speculate.
But I was caught off guard. In truth, his reaction was so utterly foreign that I didn't know what to say. Finally, I settled on, "That's a little bossy, don’t you think?"
He didn't even hesitate. "No."
"Oh, come on. You can't be serious."
"Wanna bet? Hell, if I had my way, you wouldn't be going at all."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Trust me, I can get a lot 'bossier' than this."
I still couldn’t decide if I was flattered or exasperated. Either way, I felt an embarrassing thrill at the realization that he cared enough to look out for me, even when I hadn't asked.
But didn't he get it? I'd been looking out for him, too. I said, "Well, maybe I was trying to spare you."
"Or maybe," he replied, "you were risking your ass for no good reason."
I straightened in my seat. "Hey, my ass is just fine, thank you very much."
His eyes filled with mischief. "Yeah?"
Oh, crap. That had sounded pretty stupid. Suddenly flustered, I tried again. "I just mean that, well, it would've been fine, meaning the situation, not anything else."
Jax gave me a long, amused look. "I'm not gonna comment on your fine ass—"
"Good. Because I’m not gonna either."
At least not anymore.
Damn it.
Eager to change the subject, I said, "So tell me, do you always eavesdrop on your employees?"
His eyebrows lifted. "I did mention she was yelling, right?"
"Well, yeah, but what if she'd been whispering? Would've you still listened in?"
He didn't hesitate. "Hell yeah."
All I could do was stare. The guy was utterly shameless.
His voice softened. "You're important to me. You know that, right?"
I felt myself swallow. "Actually, I'm not sure what I know." My own voice grew softer, too. "Like just a minute ago, you're all crabby, and now you're all…" I gave a distracted flutter of my hands. "…different."
His reply was barely a whisper. "I know."
"You do?"
He shoved a hand through his hair. "Listen, I'm sorry I was a dick, but yeah, I was pissed. And you want the truth?"
I felt myself nod.
He gave something like a smile. "I’m still pissed."
The smile, as subtle as it was, caught me off guard. "But why? I mean, surely you've got better things to do than deal with my mom."
"Yeah. I do." His gaze warmed. "And you do, too."
I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Sorry, what?"
He leaned closer. "Lemme make it up to you."
At this, I had to laugh. "Make what up to me? Because I’m pretty sure in the big scheme of things, it's me who still owes you." I rolled my eyes. "Times a million."
"Yeah? Then do me a favor."
"What?"
"Stay here, just like I asked."
"Oh, please. That's no favor, for you I mean. If anything, it's another favor for me."
"Not the way I see it."
"And besides," I added, "you can't go alone. You don't even know what's mine."
"So I'll figure it out. Not a big deal."
That's what he thought. With my mom, it was always a big deal.
Sitting in the van, we went back and forth a few more times before he finally accepted that I wasn't going to give in.
I couldn’t. As much as I appreciated his offer, I'd never let him take on such an unpleasant task by himself.
I wasn't a coward, and I hated the idea of me sitting blissfully at home while he waded into the muck that was my life. And I just knew that given half a chance, my mom would rip off her clothes and jump into his arms.
But as it turned out, this worry was for nothing. And why? Because when we finally arrived, my mom wasn't even there.
Chapter 43
Standing in the hall just outside my mom's apartment, I gave Jax a worried look. "Do you think I should knock again?"
Already, I'd knocked like five times and even tried the doorknob too, for all the good it did.
Jax said, "You got a key?"
"Sure," I said with a half-hearted laugh. "Inside the apartment."
"But you did have one?"
"Yeah. Of course."
"But…?"
"But the last time I left the apartment, I was with my mom. And she had her key, so…" I didn't bother finishing the sentence. In hindsight, it had been incredibly stupid to trust my mom with something even as small as a key to the place where we'd both been living.
When I didn't elaborate, Jax said, "Lemme ask you something. If I wanted to replace your stuff, would you let me?"
The question caught me off guard. "Why would you want to?"
He shrugged. "For the fun of it."
Was he joking? He didn't look like he was joking. And, judging from the tightness of his mouth, it didn't look like he'd find it particularly fun either. Or maybe he was jus
t irritated with my mom for standing me up.
If so, that made two of us.
But it didn't matter. I'd never accept such an offer, anyway. I glanced down and was suddenly embarrassed to realize that I was wearing one of the T-shirts that he'd loaned me several weeks earlier.
Damn it. While getting dressed today, why hadn't I paid more attention?
Then again, he had arrived a half-hour early, so it's not like I'd had a lot of time to obsess over my appearance.
This was probably for the best. Over the last few weeks, while my mom had been giving me the runaround, I'd been seriously short of clothes. Mostly, I'd made due with the stuff I'd originally borrowed from Jax, along with some castoffs from Allie.
Unlike me, she'd gotten her things within days, mostly because her new job had apparently included full relocation – not that I'd seen that on the paperwork.
Regardless, just a few days after she'd accepted the offer, like magic, a moving truck had shown up with all of her things, professionally packed and delivered straight to our doorstep.
Cripes, they'd even unpacked it.
As far as our old apartment, Allie's cousin had assumed the lease and promptly gotten a new roommate, which meant that Allie was here for the long-term. She'd even changed her driver's license.
But me? I wasn't nearly as settled.
My job was fine enough, but it didn't pay half as well as Allie's. And even though she'd insisted on paying more than her share of the rent, it's not like I had a ton of money to spare, especially since I'd been forced to replace a whole bunch of things that I'd previously taken for granted.
Already, I'd spent a small fortune on undergarments, shoes, and even makeup. It was just the basics, but they added up. And I'd only had one paycheck since starting my new job.
Thank goodness for tips.
Maybe I should've skipped the lattes, but they really were my one luxury, and I hated the idea of giving them up, especially now that I kept running into Jax at the coffee shop.
I was still mulling all of this over when he said, "If you want, we can do it now."
I was so lost in my thoughts that it took me a moment to realize that he was talking about his offer to replace my things.
One Good Crash Page 17