“I had no idea anyplace in California was this deserted. I thought there was a Starbucks on every corner. Except in Yosemite and Death Valley. I’ve done photo shoots in both and believe me, there’s no Starbucks. Which is as it should be, I suppose.” Jennifer had adopted a light, mocking tone that Suzanne decided was probably for the best.
“Most of this shoreline is protected from development. I wanted a house on the ocean and finally found one in Santa Cruz. It’s very small and built before restrictions went in but each new owner has tried to make the most of the space available. You could buy ten houses in most of the rest of the country for the price I paid.”
“It feels like we’re driving out to the Hamptons, though the constellations aren’t as easy to see. Not like this.”
Suzanne resisted the urge to look upward. The highway was mostly deserted, but night creatures like possums occasionally wandered across the road. She’d even seen a coyote once, much later at night, near where the highway left the shore and dipped close to the wooded foothills. “It would have been faster to stay inland. But it’s about as generic as it gets. Office complexes, fast food.”
They continued talking about nothing that mattered until Suzanne coasted to a stop on an overlook. The engine’s hum faded and was replaced by the rumble of waves crashing on rocks. The faint aroma of salt and kelp hung in the night air. “I love to stop here. I don’t often get the chance.”
Jennifer had closed her eyes. “This is pure therapy. Last year in a movie I did all of my lines in a wet swimsuit splashing around in a shallow pool in front of a green screen as eventual shark bait. It looked like I was frolicking at Coney Island but it was a backlot in Culver City. I still feel like I haven’t gotten the sour salty chlorine smell out of my nose.”
Terrific. Now she was picturing Jennifer in a swimsuit. “That doesn’t sound like much fun.”
“It wasn’t, but the movie was a hit. A critic even declared me ‘surprisingly competent.’”
“What an asshole thing to say.”
“That’s one of my kindest reviews so far.”
Given how Jennifer had tossed her aside without a word, Suzanne supposed she should feel vindicated somehow, but Jennifer’s simmering bitterness was disheartening to hear. Somewhere during the past ten years her own rancor had eased. When she had thought of their past and the possibilities that had died before they’d even been given a chance to grow, she had at least hoped Jennifer was making her own dreams come true.
An inner voice whispered that maybe Jennifer was ready to choose something else. She tried to ignore it. Tried to tell herself that she didn’t want to be Jennifer’s fallback. She wanted to be a beautiful, accomplished woman’s first choice. Or at least tied for first.
“I understand why you stopped seeing me.” Way to avoid a sensitive topic.
Jennifer gestured toward the ocean with her chin without taking her gaze away from the deep, dark expanse. “Is the next stop Asia?”
“From here? Yes. You heard me, right?”
“I heard you. I am sorry for—cold turkey was easier.”
“For you.”
“Yes, for me. I pretended you were a novel I’d read and lost so I couldn’t go back. I know that sounds mean. Maybe it is. I was twenty and I needed for it not to be real. What did I know?”
“You’re older now.”
“I am decades older—on the inside.”
“I remember Manhattan word problem math. You’re like sixty now, right?”
At last she got a sidelong glance. “You’re richer of course. No surprise there. More handsome than ever.”
It rang a chill bell of warning inside her. She was never going to be able to stop at this spot again if… If what, she could hear Annemarie demanding. She breaks your heart again, which you know she’s going to do?
She flopped about for a change of subject. “Do you ever have fun?”
“Yes.” Jennifer seemed to relax. “Yes, some things are really fun. I learned how to play baccarat in Monaco. Spain is so beautiful. Let’s see…” She tipped her face up to the stars again. “When they were filming that really bad King Arthur movie I used my breaks in Sherwood Forest to read the script of The Adventures of Robin Hood and I read lots of Shakespeare. Major highlight—a bit part on a sitcom let me help Anne Bancroft into her coat.” Her voice trailed away for a moment. “All my good and bad stories revolve around work.”
“Tell me about Spain. Somehow I’ve never been.”
“So colorful and warm. The people are lovely. I was there for two weeks. It was supposed to be three days, but there was a strike and the set was closed. So I went to the coast. Everything was oranges and olives and sunshine. It’s a place where you ask yourself why you let stress into your life. Why, when you can eat a peach and look at the stars? I could model one month a year and spend the rest of it on the beach in Spain.”
“But you don’t.”
“Well, you could not work for the rest of your life and come here every single day, right?”
“But I don’t.”
“Right. Instead… Another audition.” The bitterness was back.
“Another investment to make.” Unlike Jennifer, however, the prospect of work for Suzanne meant risk, failure, and success all wrapped together. They’d been fortunate backing more winners than losers, especially in the turbulent market.
“What are you doing these days?” Jennifer finally faced her, face mostly in shadows, but her eyes were luminous in the moonlight.
How to explain how big CommonTech had become? The brainchild she and Annemarie had birthed after the successful management of their first merger was growing in ways they hadn’t expected. “Our latest investment is in solar grid management software for residential purposes. Another is three different clients all pursuing digital health record management, which is both lucrative and in high demand. One of the things I’m really proud of is our investment in connecting small digital memory with the emerging cloud storage services—”
Jennifer’s lips were warm and impossibly softer than Suzanne remembered. Her hands were caught between Jennifer and the console or she would have done damage to Jennifer’s dress.
“Was it something I said?” she asked as their lips parted.
“You and your vocabulary.” Jennifer brushed her lips against the corner of Suzanne’s mouth. “It’s extremely sexy.”
“Arithmetic overflow? Locality of reference? Virtual memory paging?”
Jennifer laughed against her mouth and they kissed again. Heat coursed through Suzanne’s arms and chest. She untangled one arm so she could pull Jennifer more tightly against her and let the scent of Jennifer’s perfume fill her head.
Jennifer wound an arm around Suzanne’s neck and let out a gasp as Suzanne wrapped Jennifer’s hair around her hand and tipped her head back. Images of the last time they had been together, wild and desperate, played vividly across her mind.
They could be that way again, couldn’t they?
Headlights swept over the car as a truck rumbled along the highway. Suzanne hadn’t even heard it coming. Her ears had been full of Jennifer’s ragged breath and her own pounding heart.
It was no use trying to get her other arm free, however. Between the low-slung seats and the high dividing console there was no room. Jennifer let out a surprised ouch when Suzanne’s shoulder caught her on the chin.
“As you can see, I didn’t buy this car for making out.” She caressed Jennifer’s arm and realized her skin was cold. “I’ll put the roof up. You’re chilled.”
“I was, a little. But not now. How much further to your house?”
She started the car and raised her voice above the hydraulics as the ragtop lifted, stretched and locked into place. “About fifteen minutes with no traffic.”
Earlier they hadn’t been able to talk about anything beyond the sights out the window, and now there was only silence heavy with pent-up desire. The highway widened as they reached the long, curving Santa Cruz Beach
and Boardwalk. The amusement park still showed some lights. The beach was illuminated by the full moon and the white crest of surf was visible against the pale sand.
“How lovely.”
“Do you want to walk on the beach? It’ll be very chilly tonight.”
“No. That’s not what I’m in the mood for.” She lifted the back of Suzanne’s hand to her lips. “I’d forgotten how strong your hands are.”
“Are you trying to dissolve me into the seat?” She braked slowly to a stop at the last light before she would turn off the highway toward the water.
“Do you want me to?”
She extracted her hand before making the final turn. “Yes. But I’d also like to open the gate. It’s just along here.” The narrow street turned to parallel the beach and Suzanne tapped the remote to open the security gate across the tiny driveway. The garage door slid up. “Is this what you expected?”
“When I got up this morning none of this was in my plans.”
With the garage door closed behind them, Suzanne realized it was too late to find answers to the questions that had hammered in her brain the last few miles. If they had just wanted to have sex, why hadn’t she picked a hotel and ordered room service as she did for her infrequent encounters with other women? It kept things casual and fun. Why bring Jennifer here, her personal, intimate hideaway? She felt exposed.
Jennifer opened her door first. Her candy apple-red dress was pure crimson in the overhead light. Suzanne found her wits, marveled at her racing heart and sweaty palms. This again? Would Jennifer always make her feel like it was the first time?
They met in front of the car, the steps to the house just beyond. “You look intoxicating,” Suzanne murmured.
Jennifer slipped a hand inside Suzanne’s jacket and leaned close. “Do you want me to leave the shoes on?”
Suzanne felt a primal growl begin deep in her chest. She jerked Jennifer into her arms for a bruising kiss and Jennifer responded by raking her nails down Suzanne’s back. “Let’s start right here then.”
Jennifer’s dress had no obvious zipper, so Suzanne pushed it up to run her fingertips across the tops of Jennifer’s stockings. Jennifer’s hands were suddenly on hers and Suzanne paused. “I’m sorry. I was rough.”
“I want your hands here.” Jennifer’s voice was taut with desire. She leaned back on the hood of the car and pulled Suzanne’s palm between her legs.
The heat and wet she could feel through Jennifer’s panties knocked the breath out of her. The garage was cold from the sea-chilled wind, but Jennifer was a radiant fire. She pushed the fabric aside, tried to tease. Jennifer’s gasp sent her vision into silver and black. Her fingers were slick in a matter of moments, and she slid inside Jennifer, remembering how much they had both liked this.
Her arms braced behind her, Jennifer locked gazes with Suzanne, her hips lifting in response. “Please.”
“Are you strong enough?”
“You know I am.”
“Show me.” Suzanne leaned into Jennifer to share a panting kiss. She groaned as Jennifer hooked one leg around her hips. “This is just the beginning.”
“Prove it—don’t you dare stop.”
“Your dress is going to get ruined.”
“I’m stronger than it is.” Jennifer yanked her other shoulder bare and Suzanne leaned into her, burying her face in the soft, inviting neck.
Jennifer’s perfume was like a drug she couldn’t get enough of. Without conscious thought she pushed a little deeper and Jennifer’s supporting arm gave out. Suzanne covered her body with her own and reveled in the surrender in Jennifer’s eyes, her limp arms and the eager rise of her hips. They shared a surge of energy that sent sparkling pulses behind Suzanne’s eyes.
Jennifer panted against her mouth in desperate, challenging pleas. “You make me like this.”
“You let yourself be like this with me. There? Is that what you need? For me to touch you right there?”
She brought one knee up on the car to help keep her balance as she held Jennifer down. Jennifer’s hair had tumbled across her face and shoulders. Suzanne closed her eyes to focus on the slick, wet flesh and muscle pulsing against her fingertips.
“Yes, Suzanne, yes. There…” Jennifer gasped in a voice thick with tears.
Alarmed, Suzanne managed to get a glimpse of Jennifer’s face but saw only passionate disbelief in a rising storm of release. One of Jennifer’s heels was grazing her thigh, but she ignored it. Her reward was a long cry of ecstatic pleasure that rose and fell as Jennifer shuddered underneath her.
Only when Jennifer had begun to quiet did Suzanne realize she had matched Jennifer’s cry with an elated one of her own. There was not one thing, not one single thing in the last ten years that had been as satisfying.
The garage was suddenly very quiet.
A low laugh escaped Jennifer. “Your suit isn’t going to survive this either.”
“I have another one.”
She brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I bet you—oh, do that…”
Suzanne let out a low laugh as she brushed her palm between Jennifer’s legs again. “I will. Let’s go get comfortable.”
They were both unsteady as they stood. Suzanne shook a disbelieving head at the BMW—who knew? She pushed away the thought that if Jennifer left again she would hate this car.
Jennifer was clutching her dress to her breasts. “I can’t seem to keep my clothes on around you.”
“Am I supposed to complain about that?”
“Could I perhaps take a shower? I have sticky stuff on to keep the dress in place.”
“It didn’t work.”
“It’s not designed to resist hot, handsome women.”
“That makes me happy.” Suzanne led the way through the laundry and into the living room. “The loft in New York was larger than this house, but location, location, location. There’s two bedrooms, a den and a backyard with a view. All the essentials.”
She turned up the heat and conquered one last hesitation. If she looked at Jennifer, did all the things she knew they would both enjoy, would she ever find this house relaxing again? Finding peace had been a long, hard haul.
But there was no stopping now. Even if this was the same path they’d walked before, there was no way off of it that she could make herself think about, not with the scent of Jennifer on her hands and body, and washing through her brain.
“Which way is the shower?”
“Over here—but there’s something I’d like to do first.” She sank to her knees in front of Jennifer, reveling in the faint salt now on Jennifer’s skin.
Jennifer gasped and the dress fell around Suzanne in a pool of scarlet and silk.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jennifer stirred in the night, aware of Suzanne’s arm around her. Unlike that last night in New York, her first thought wasn’t how to escape from safety and warmth and run headlong toward the cold and lonely world that held all her dreams. She snuggled back and felt something inside her uncoil.
Suzanne’s quiet breathing in her ear was accompanied by the subtle thunder of rising and falling waves. Being in Suzanne’s arms was impossibly like being on a beach in Spain—no stress, no worries, just air and warmth. No passport or long travel hours. All she needed was…this.
Moonlight poured through the open curtains in a luminous silver glow. She knew the ocean must be gorgeous under the moon, but didn’t want to leave the peace and warmth to see.
A soft kiss on the back of her neck gave her other ideas.
“You awake?” Suzanne very gently cupped one hand around the curve of Jennifer’s hip.
“Yes, just barely. Enjoying the moonlight.”
“A couple times a year the angle is like this. Like a silver shower.”
“It’s magical. Directors and lighting gurus spend hours trying to fake that.”
Suzanne’s lips nuzzled at the nape of her neck. “You love making movies, don’t you?”
“When I’m working I’m happy.
I just don’t work enough. I mean acting, not modeling. I’m in plenty of demand for that.” She arched her neck against Suzanne’s touch. “My new agent says I should stop modeling and focus just on acting so people take me seriously. He has lots of other ideas…”
“But?”
The wheels in her brain were waking up. “I’m trying not to be desperate. I don’t know if I can do them. Visibility stunts and that new Tweeter thing—”
She felt Suzanne smile against her neck. “Twitter.”
“That. If you put provocative things online you get buzz and then you get parts. Supposedly. I can hire someone to do it for me but it’s a rabbit hole. Once you cooperate with the blogging media machine…”
“It’s a rabbit hole you don’t get to climb back out of.”
“Yeah.” She rolled over to face her. “If I have to go to those lengths then I’m really not who I thought I’d be. Who wants to be famous through tricks, not talent?”
The moonlight softened all the angles of Suzanne’s face. “Lots of people, from the looks of it.”
“I don’t think I want to be that person.”
“Are any of us who we ever thought we’d be?”
Jennifer had planned on being Lauren Bacall by now. “Back in King of Prussia I made big dreams.”
“Cupertino, just over the hills from here, I did too. But dreams aren’t always rooted in reality.”
“Where would you be if you let a little thing like what people thought was real get in your way?”
“I think there’s a difference between dreaming up something new out of what is already there to work with versus creating outlandish fantasies about the future and being perpetually disappointed when it doesn’t happen.”
“I’m being outlandish?”
Suzanne’s tone sharpened slightly. “I didn’t say that. I was talking about me. Like how I built a dream about being known for my tech savvy and ability to make ideas real, doing what I’m doing right now. I am living that dream. But that dream also had a moment when I’m in a fancy car and pull up to a red carpet and it’s a party for me and my high school science teacher is in the crowd literally green with envy. He was a sexist ass. In that dream I either make sure he can’t come inside or I’m gracious and let him come in. I haven’t decided that bit. But either way I get to say, ‘You said I should leave the hard stuff to the boys, remember?’”
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