by R. A. Mejia
You’ve learned the skill Inspect, level 1.
Eyebrow Ring
A small circular ring of metal inserted into someone’s eyebrow. It’s considered a trendy fashion statement in some circles. Others consider it a played out show of rebellion. Not that either of those circles is one that would want you. Just be glad she’s not showing you the other piercing she got, ok?
The blue box that pops up almost startles me as much as the text that appears on it. I stumble back, almost knocking the register off the counter.
Samantha points at me and laughs. “What? You never saw an eyebrow ring before? Don’t tell me you’re one of those uptight people that think that their body is a temple and you shouldn’t tattoo or pierce it?”
I look at the blue box with the description of the eyebrow ring and then at Samantha. It’s obvious that she doesn’t see the thing since she assumed I’m surprised by her eyebrow piercing. Trying to cover my reaction, I lean on the front counter casually and tell her, “No. I’m not surprised by your eyebrow piercing. I’m just surprised by the other place you got pierced.”
Her eyes widen, and she involuntarily clutches her chest. Oh, so that’s where she got pierced too. The blue box was right.
Samantha turns red, and she sputters, “How did you know about that? I know it doesn’t show through my shirt, I checked.” She squints suspiciously at me, “Have you been following me around?”
I try to laugh casually. How the heck am I going to explain that bit of knowledge? I can’t tell her a little blue box informed me. “No, it was just a lucky guess. I know how rebellious you try to be. I figured you wouldn’t be satisfied with just an eyebrow piercing.”
Before she can question my story, I squeeze past her to the front of the store. “Excuse me, I still have to replace this box of rubbers.”
I head to the back of the store and open the door for storage. My hand feels around for the light switch, finds it, and the fluorescent lights along the ceiling come on. The storage area is where we, well, store things. It’s a bunch of shelves stacked with all the items the store carries. I head over to the section where we store the condoms and grab a new box of XXL Magnum Plus Ribbed Mango flavored condoms. For some reason, they’re a best seller in their category. I like to think it’s the funny phrases they have on the boxes, but who knows.
While I’m back here, away from Samantha, I take a moment to try and process what happened out there. Not once, but three times now I’ve seen that blue box appear now. I’m no expert, but that makes it more than a hallucination. I try to summon the blue box by calling out, “Blue Box, appear!” and “I summon thee, Blue Box!” and “Shazam Blue Box!” However, nothing happens. Then I try to recall the circumstances when it’s appeared. The first time, it happened was when I was talking to Mr. Smith, and it said something about a reputation increase.
The second time I saw the blue box, I was looking for something, and it said that I learned the ‘Search’ skill. The third time, I was trying to get a better look and figure out what was in Samantha’s eyebrow and the blue screen just gave me a bunch of information. Wait! It also said something about an ‘Inspect’ skill. Maybe I need to try and inspect something.
I turn around and grab a bag of chips and intently examine it.
Torittos - Spicy Cheese flavor
A bag of flavored tortilla chips. All they do is fry some cut up tortillas and sprinkle some flavoring on it. Don’t get too excited, ok? This kind has a spicy cheese flavor.
That’s it. I did it. I stare at the blue box that has appeared next to the bag of Torittos chips in my hand. I tap the box and find that it feels like I’m touching a thin piece of rigid cardboard. Also, I can move the thing around. However, as I’m moving the box around, I feel the top right corner. A red X appears, and the box disappears. Oh, so it’s like a browser window. I put the bag of chips back, look around for something else to inspect, and grab a large candy bar. I’m rewarded with another blue box as I focus my attention on it.
Big Daddy Premium Candy Bar
A chocolate-covered fluffy whipped chocolate bar. That’s right, a creamy filling covered in a thick layer of rich mouth-watering dark chocolate. Don’t try to swallow it all at once or you might choke. Honest, it happened to a lady in New Zealand.
Well, besides suddenly looking at the candy bar in my hand differently, I’m glad to see that I can control these blue boxes. I want to see just how similar these boxes are to a browser window. I try to touch different parts of the box, but only the right top corner does anything. I try to flick it, but my finger just passes through it, feeling like it’s passing through smoke. I try to punch the box, with similar results. My fist just passes through it. There must be some force threshold that changes the physical properties of the box. A light touch lets me move or dismiss the box. But anything more and I pass right through it. It makes sense. Otherwise, I could build a wall out of these boxes or throw them around like ninja stars.
I’m curious to see if I can talk to the box. I mean, someone or something has to write that descriptive text, right? So, I lean in toward the blue box and whisper, “Hello. Can you hear me? Is anyone there?”
I don’t get a response, so I raise my voice, “Hello! Is anyone there?”
I hear a sound to my left and spin to find Samantha staring at me, the storage room door open behind her. “Who are you talking to, dude?”
“Uh, no one. I was just goofing around.” I take the Big Daddy chocolate bar in my hand and pretend to use it as a microphone as I sing, poorly, Is Anybody Out There. The good version by K'naan and Nelly Furtado, not the remake by Odious and the Gang.
Samantha just shakes her head at me. “Man, you’re weird.”
I stop my singing act and say, “Yeah. I am. Was there a reason you came back here?”
She smirks. “Yeah, you took so long getting that new box of condoms I thought you might be testing them out back here or something. I was going to take pictures and sell them on the internet.”
“Well, sorry to disappoint you, no free shows tonight. Guess you’ll have to save up to buy this month's hair dye supply some other way. Though, I do like this week's color choice.”
Samantha perks up at the compliment. She pulls a strand of hair down in front of her face. “Yeah? It’s called Smurf Blue. I think it looks pretty good too. I’m thinking of dying my hair Garfield Orange next week.”
Ok. I’m not that interested in Samantha’s hair color choices, but there’s no reason to ruin things when she’s actually acting nice for once. I smile and shrug. “Whatever makes you happy, Samantha.”
She turns around and leaves the storage room, undoubtedly thinking of the next color she wants to dye her hair. I never could understand why women dye their hair. At least Samantha chooses fun colors though. Regardless, I need to be more careful with these experiments. I don’t want to get caught messing or talking with these boxes no one else can see. People will think I’m crazy. I grab the replacement box of condoms and exit the storeroom.
Chapter 9
Back behind the front counter, replacing the box of condoms gives me an idea. If there’s an Inspect level one, that implies that there is also an Inspect level two. So, I decide to leave Samantha to man the register while I take inventory of what’s in the store. The process will take a few hours, but it’ll give me a chance to inspect everything in stock.
I start at the front of the store with all the restricted items: tobacco products, cigarettes, hard liquor, condoms, etc. Then I move onto the rest; I inventory and inspect all the drinks, then the snacks, then our small selection of prepared meals. Afterwards, I inspect household goods. Each item I inspect gets me a blue box with a description. My favorite inspections are:
Brown Bear Beer
The cheapest booze on the market. When you're on a budget but you still need to get as drunk as a bear on hallucinogenic honey.
Old Man of the Mountains Beef Jerky
Oh my, do you think there’s actually bee
f in this?
Blue Box Mac and Cheese
You realize mac and cheese is a three-ingredient meal? Milk, cheese, and macaroni noodles.
Unfortunately, even after completing an inventory for the entire store and inspecting everything, I don’t get a message about getting Inspect level 2. However, I do get Inventory Management level 1, which just sort of makes me sad. I don’t know why, but I thought these skills were like superpowers. If there are also ones for regular tasks, it makes it feel less special. At least it does until I start to wonder what the skill, Inventory Management does.
Inventory Management
Current Level: 1
Woah. You can count stuff and see if you need to buy more stuff. That’s a useful skill. Inventory Management allows you to do this job faster and more efficiently. At high levels, you’ll be able to take inventory at a glance. Sure, you could buy a robot to do this, but instead, you’re doing it old school.
Bonus: You’re able to count items to inventory 25% faster and you’re better at organizing them.
I stop mid-stride as the blue box appears and I read it. Well, that’s new. I didn’t know I could learn about what a skill does or this bonus thing. I try to repeat how I got the information for Inventory Management by wondering what Inspect does.
Inspect
Level 1
What, you want to know more about something? Then this is the skill for you. One of the most basic skills the System provides. It’s also one of the most useful. Inspect contains information about an object, person, or thing. The User has to both be looking at something and intentionally seeking more information about it for the skill to activate. At early levels, the Inspect reveals essential information. At higher levels, it will give detailed information such as material composition, social implications, and may even show hidden knowledge about the object or person.
Bonus: Reveals level 1 basic information.
The blue box with the information on Inspect doesn’t startle me this time. As I read over the text, I’m surprised by the implications. According to the text, something called ‘the System’ is providing these skills. Additionally, my guess that there are higher levels of these skills is also confirmed. Though I wonder how I reach these advanced levels, I try to access the information the same way I did with the skills. I ask in my mind, ‘How do I increase a skill level?’ and ‘What is the System?’ Unfortunately, I don’t get any response this time.
I notice Samantha watching me, and I realize I’ve just been standing in front of the adult magazines for the last 10 minutes reading blue boxes she can’t see. She probably thinks I’ve been staring at the magazines. I awkwardly nod at her and walk away from the section of the store back to the front counter.
Trying not to meet her judging eyes, I tell her, “Uh, store inventory is complete. Everything going ok up here?”
Samantha glances back at the adult magazines, then at me. Her mouth quirks into a smirk and she responds, “Yeah, it seemed like you were taking an extra thorough inventory of the magazine section. Find anything interesting?”
Darn it. Samantha’s not going to let this chance to tease me go. Well, it’s better to tease back then just let her take all the shots. “Why yes, I thought the article on co-worker romances in Chesty Bestie issue #126 was fascinating. It outlined the pitfalls of interpersonal relationships in the workplace.”
While I was hoping to make her blush, Samantha instead just laughs at me. She has a big smile on her face while she pokes me with one finger. “Yeah, you expect me to believe that you were reading the articles in one of those magazines?” She laughs again, and I’m surprised at how pretty she looks when she does so. When she’s actually here, I usually only see her frowning and complaining about people.
Reputation increase with Samantha.
The blue box that appears is a surprise. What in the world did I do to get a reputation increase with Samantha? I was just trying to stop her from teasing me the rest of the night. Before I can consider the topic further, the door chimes and two people walk into the store.
One is a tall white guy with long blond hair tied in a braid. He has a backward baseball cap on his head and is wearing a tank top and jean shorts. The other is Walt, a regular, who is dressed in a faded gray t-shirt with black jean pants. I nod at Walt. The two guys grab some beers and chips from the refrigerated section and bring them to the front counter. We’re required by law to ask for ID whenever we sell alcohol, and Walt already has his out. I give it a cursory check; the guy looks like he’s at least in his late thirties after all. I scan his items, give him his total, and he pays by swiping his phone across a little pad on the counter. The other guy, tall and blond, I don’t know. I look him over and wonder who he is.
Adam Ackerman
Local resident, best known as a Jay Muse impersonator. He travels to conventions making a living taking pictures with fans of the Jay and Silent Bob films. He is also known to deal in black market items.
Well, that is interesting. It looks like I can use Inspect on people too.
I decided to test the validly of the information the blue boxes are providing. As I ring up the guy’s purchases, I ask, “Hey, Adam. How’s the impersonation business going? The conventions treating you well?”
The blond man is taken aback by my casual use of his name for a moment. So, I decided to improvise an explanation, “Sorry. We met once at a convention; I got a picture with you.”
Adam nods as if he remembers taking a picture with me, “Oh, yeah. Sorry. I do so many of those. Yeah, the convention circuit is paying off right now. The fourth Jay and Silent Bob movie just hit theaters. I can’t believe those guys are still working. But hey, we all got to make a living.”
I nod appreciatively as I put his items in a bag. That was a good movie.
You’ve learned the skill Deception, level 1.
I have to stifle a laugh when I read that I learned the skill, deception. Lying is a part of any customer service job. You think every time someone says, ‘You look great in that dress’ Or ‘You deserve this car’ that they mean it?
Adam swipes his phone across the pay pad and takes his items. He’s smiling as he heads for the door, happy at being recognized. Before he leaves, he turns around and yells out, “Snoochie Boochie, brother!”
Now I do laugh. I wave at Adam and yell back, “Snoochie Boochie!”
As the door chimes, letting me know that the customers have left, I hear a rumbling sound somewhere outside. However, I’m too curious about this new skill to pay much attention to it. I wonder what this new skill does, and a new blue box appears.
Deception
Level 1
Whose pants are on fire? Yours are.
Made you look. See, everyone does it. You’re just better at it than most. Now every time you try to deceive someone, you’ll get a little better at it.
Bonus: 25% more likely to be believed when trying to deceive others. The success of deception is based on some factors including the type of deception and whom you’re trying to deceive. Telling a cop you’re an alien from the planet Ork will be harder to pull off than telling your girlfriend that those pants don’t make her look fat.
While I don’t think of myself as a liar, even I can see the usefulness of such a skill.
The door chime rings again, and I look towards the door, thinking that maybe Adam or Walt forgot something. Instead, a group of four twenty-somethings walks through the door. These aren’t our usual customers. Most of the regulars are folks that live in this working-class neighborhood. During the day, people come in to get some groceries or some snacks. The night customers are usually looking for some beer or something to satisfy the munchies. These four, however, look like they could buy most of the neighborhood. The two men are dressed in top of the line clothes. Their jackets appear to be made out of cloned rhino skin or something. The two ladies with them are dressed just as well; their sports tops and skirts look expensive and shiny. I’m not one for fashion trends, but even
I can tell they’re expensive. Not to mention the jewelry that the ladies are wearing. Diamond earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. I feel like I have to wear sunglasses just to look at those sparkling rocks.
I look to my left and see Samantha practically drooling over the well-muscled guys in their suits. Ugh. Here I thought she had good taste.
I return my attention to our four new customers and see them casually strolling through the aisles of the small store. I can hear the ladies giggling and laughing as they point to different objects. The guys laugh right along with them. After walking around, the four come up to the front of the store. The tall blonde guy with wavy hair is vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite place where I’ve seen him before. The guy, whoever he is, swaggers up to the counter.
“Hey. You have any real alcohol in this shit hole?”
I can see Samantha tense at his attitude, but I answer, “Yeah, we have some whiskey, vodka, rum, and tequila.”
He looks back at his group, and the four laugh at something before one of the girls says, “We’ll take one of each!”