“How can I? I’m always working!”
Beckett knew he had a point.
“Although, I guess that will change now. I’m hopeful that my next job won’t demand so much of my time so I can actually have a life outside of the office.”
“Listen, Ted, about that…”
Hope came back into the room. “Here’s the ice.” She looked at the two of them as she slowly sat down. “How are the waffles? Have you tried them yet?”
Beckett reached for the syrup and poured some on before cutting into his breakfast. “Mmm…delicious. Why am I not surprised?”
She beamed under his praise. “Ted, try them. They’re the gingerbread waffles I told you I wanted to try.” She waited until he took a bite before tasting her own. Silence was a good thing at the moment. There was no doubt that Beckett and Ted had been talking while she was out of the room, but Hope had no idea what was said or if anything had been resolved.
And then the silence began to grate on her nerves. “So,” she began brightly, “what did Merry get you for Christmas, Ted?”
He shrugged. “A sweater.”
Figures. “And what did you get her?”
“A vacuum.”
“And they say romance is dead,” she said cheekily and smiled even bigger when Ted frowned at her. “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. It’s Christmas.”
He placed his utensils down – loudly. “I just don’t understand what’s going on here. A week ago, you hated him!” he yelled while pointing at Beckett. “You would freak out if I even mentioned his name! And now you’re here playing house with him and…”
“To be fair, Ted,” she interrupted, “I didn’t choose to stay here. You left me here.”
“So…what? You made the best of a bad situation by sleeping with him?”
“That’s enough,” Beckett said in a tone that left no room for argument. “I don’t like what you’re implying at all. What happened between me and your sister is none of your business.”
“Well I think it is,” Ted said with a hint of confidence before turning toward Hope. “I’m sure that everything is nice and everything is sweet right now, but it’s going to change. Once you leave here, he’s going to be that same guy who you hated. Do you think he’s going to stop being a workaholic overnight for you? Do you think that he’s going to actually have any time for you?”
“Ted,” she interrupted but her brother wouldn’t be deterred.
“Right now he didn’t have a choice because he was snowed in here with limited internet access and with little hope of getting people on the phone because normal companies close for the holidays. He was killing time with you, Hope. Trust me. In the five years that I worked for him, no one’s ever seen him leave the damn office. You mark my words, you continue this…this…whatever it is with him when you’re back home and you’ll end up alone.”
It was as if Ted had reached into her head and pulled out her every insecurity regarding what would happen once she and Beckett left the lodge.
“Don’t do this, Hope. Don’t put your hopes and dreams into a man like him. He’s not worth it. He’ll break your heart and he won’t even care.”
“I’m sitting right here, damn it!” Beckett snapped.
Ted glared at him. “Yeah, I know. Go ahead and deny it,” he dared. “Go ahead and tell Hope that you’re going to cut back on your hours and that you’re going to make her your top priority.” He sat back and waited and then turned back to Hope. “He can’t, Hope. He can’t and he won’t.”
No words would come. It was as if her vocal cords were paralyzed. She and Beckett had been living a fantasy existence here but it wasn’t real. None of it was real. Well, that wasn’t completely true. She knew her feelings for Beckett were real. She knew that she loved him. Unfortunately, she knew that her brother was right and the fact that Beckett wasn’t arguing or denying any of it spoke volumes.
As if to put the final nail in the coffin, Ted leaned forward and said, “Family isn’t important to a guy like him, Hope. Look what he did to poor Jerome. He didn’t care that my fiancée was hurt. He didn’t care that he was keeping me here away from my family for Christmas…”
“You made that choice,” Beckett said darkly.
“I only received two days off when mom and dad died. That was all the time I was given. If I took longer, my job would have been in jeopardy. Do you remember that?”
She nodded slowly, her heart beating frantically. “I do.”
“Does he even have family? He was willing to work through the holidays so if he has them, he doesn’t care enough about them to want to see them.”
“Not all families are close, Ted,” she defended quietly.
“I know that family is important to you, Hope,” he said and reached out and touched one of her hands. “Could you really be with someone who didn’t feel the same way? Where does that leave you for the next holiday? Or on occasions that are important to you? If you stay with him, you’re going to be alone for all of them.”
“That’s enough,” she cried. “Stop it. Just stop it!” With a strangled sob, she got up and ran from the room.
****
Beckett sat back at watched Hope flee the room.
Was this really how people saw him? Was Ted right? Worse, did Hope believe him? He was torn between going after her or staying here and hashing things out with Ted. He glared at the man who had essentially ruined everything.
“If you care at all about my sister, you’ll end this,” Ted said quietly. “You know I’m right. You’re not going to stop working long hours and ignoring everyone else’s feelings. She deserves better than that.”
In his heart, Beckett wanted to believe that he could be the kind of man who was everything Hope needed, but now he wasn’t so sure. An hour ago he was confident that he could, but after listening to Ted, his confidence was slightly shattered.
“Let her go,” Ted said, all the anger and animosity of moments ago gone. “She’s had a hard enough time of it since our parents died. She needs someone who is going to be there for her, someone who is going to put her first. We both know that’s not you.”
Hope came back into the room and came to stand beside Beckett. It was obvious that she had been crying. “I think you should go, Ted,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry you drove all this way, but under the circumstances, it would be better for you to leave.”
Beckett watched the sadness on Hope’s face and knew that he was to blame. Because of the way he was, because of the person he was, she was arguing with the only family she had. He had done this. And now he had to make it right.
“Actually,” he said, his voice gruff, “I think you should both leave.”
“What?” she cried.
Standing, Beckett put a little distance between the two of them. “Your brother’s right, Hope. Once I get back to the office, nothing’s going to change. I have a major corporation to run and I can’t just drop everything so we can hang out.”
“Hang out?” she parroted. “That’s not what we’ve been doing, that’s not what…”
“Look, I guess I got all caught up in what was going on here. I couldn’t work, you couldn’t leave, I mean…it was a fun way to spend the time.” He hated every word coming out of his mouth and hated even more the devastation they were putting on Hope’s face. “You were a nice diversion.”
“Why are you saying this? Why are you doing this?” she cried. “An hour ago you told me you loved me!”
He shrugged, unable to look at her. “I was caught up in the moment, I guess.” And he knew in that moment he had done it. He had lost her.
“Bastard,” she whispered.
“I never pretended to be anything else. You just saw what you wanted to see.”
Hope stared at him as tears streamed down her face. “Go to hell, Beckett.”
And there was the thing.
He was already there.
***
The drive home was spent in silence. Several times Ted tri
ed to talk to her, but Hope spent the entire drive looking out the window and watching the miles take her farther and farther away from Beckett.
They had been happy. At least, she’d been. How could she have been so wrong, so hopelessly wrong? Was Beckett right? Had she only been seeing what she wanted to see? No. He took her dancing in the snow. He had decorated his house for Christmas for her. But why? If he truly didn’t love her and didn’t see or want a future with her, why do all of those things?
There was never going to be an answer because she was never going to see him again. With Ted no longer working for James Enterprises, there was no excuse to run into him anywhere. It’s not like their paths had crossed much before.
The thought of never seeing Beckett was almost more than Hope could bear. Her chest ached and she let out a shaky breath.
“Are you all right?” Ted asked softly, but she ignored him.
When they arrived back at her house, Ted helped her carry her things in, including the gifts Beckett had gotten for her for Christmas, but she didn’t ask him to stay. Once she was inside, she put down her suitcase and her purse, walked straight through to her bedroom and shut the door. Ted must have taken the hint because not long after, she heard the front door close.
And then finally – finally! – she allowed herself to cry. It was the kind of soul-searing, gut-wrenching cry that she hadn’t allowed herself to have while still at Beckett’s house, the kind of cry she hadn’t had since her parents died.
Curled up in her bed, with all the lights out, Hope focused on just being able to breathe. In and out. In and out.
And realized that now she was well and truly all alone in the world.
***
A week later she was still feeling that way. Ted had called her several times a day but she never answered. Even Merry had called a time or two but she ignored those calls as well.
It was New Year’s Eve and her plans consisted of sitting on the couch in her yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt eating ice cream and leftover Christmas cookies while watching old movies. Maybe she’d stay awake until midnight but she doubted it.
A noise by the front door had Hope nearly jumping out of her skin. Turning around, she found Ted standing in the doorway. “That’s not what the emergency key is for,” she snapped and sat back down on the couch.
“What are you doing? Why aren’t you ready?” he asked as he strolled into the room and helped himself to a cookie.
Hope looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “What are you even talking about? Ready for what?”
He sighed loudly and sat down on the arm of the couch. “The Connors’ party remember?”
“No.”
He rolled his eyes. “I told you about it at Thanksgiving. You know Allison and Matt. They throw a big New Year’s party every year. They’re awesome. I asked you if you wanted to go and you said yes.”
“Well now I’m saying no,” she said and went back to reclining on the couch as she reached for a cookie.
“You can’t say no now. It’s too late. The party’s tonight and it would be rude to not show up.”
“So you go. Tell them I’m sick or something. I don’t care.” With the remote in her hand, she began to scan the channels for something to watch.
“Come on, take pity on me. Merry didn’t want to go out because she’s still sore and now I don’t have a date for New Year’s.”
“Yeah? Join the club.”
“Hope,” he said with a smile as he nudged her with his elbow. “I’m unemployed and I’m dateless. It's been a crappy year. Can’t we go and ring in the new one together and have some sort of hope for the future? Please?”
Ugh, she hated when he started making sense. “I’m not dressed to go anywhere, Ted. And I don’t have anything to wear to a party. My wardrobe is seriously limited.”
“Merry said you might use that excuse,” he chuckled as he stood and walked back toward the front door.
Hope looked over her shoulder and saw him pick up a large shopping bag and bring it back to the couch. “What’s this?”
“This, is a fabulous dress for you to wear tonight.”
“Tell me you did not go shopping for a dress for me. That’s just creepy.”
“Actually, Merry and I were at the mall yesterday because she was getting a little stir-crazy sitting around the house. So we were strolling around, well, I was pushing her in a wheelchair because it was easier to get around and…”
“Ted!” she snapped. “Focus!”
“Oh, right. Anyway, we were in the dress department of some store and she saw this dress on the mannequin and said that she thought it was the perfect dress for you. So we bought it.”
Dread settled in the pit of her stomach. If Merry’s taste in dresses was like her taste in food and everything else in her life, Hope was certain she would pull out something that would be considered conservative by the Amish.
Without reaching into the bag, she sat up and looked at her brother. “Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort, because I do. But I’m really not feeling very festive.”
He sighed and sat down beside her and put his arm around her. “It’s okay. I get it. Merry mentioned you might say that too. So she said to tell you that if you didn’t want to go to the party, she’d have her parents bring her over here and she’ll make dinner for all of us. Her lasagna is really quite good.”
And there it was! The deciding factor!
“Fine. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed. Give me thirty minutes,” she said with a huff and grabbed the bag from the sofa.
She didn’t see the grin on Ted’s face as she walked away.
***
“I’m glad you had some leftover cookies. I hate showing up places empty-handed,” Ted said as they drove off to the party.
“Yeah, because that’s what most people bring for New Year’s. Cookies.” She snorted with disgust. “You could have picked up a bottle of champagne to bring. That’s traditional.”
“Oh, hush. Since when do we want to be traditional?”
“Um…Ted?” she asked when they turned onto a very familiar street. “What are we doing at your old office?”
“It’s on the way and I have to turn in my security badge and stuff before tomorrow.”
“And you waited until now to do it?” she cried. “How could you do this to me? I don’t want to be here! What if Beckett’s here?”
“He’s not,” Ted said, parking the car. “I already called and checked. I have to hand in all of my security passes and work files before the end of the year. At least, that’s what his Lordship said on the message he left me.”
Hope slouched down in her seat just in case.
“Come on. Walk in with me. I don’t want to do this alone. I feel like such a loser.”
“Ted, I don’t think…”
“Just do it,” he whined and walked around and pulled her out of the car.
“Fine. But if we run into Beckett,I will definitely kill you.”
“Great. Consider me warned,” he teased and tugged her along behind him. He carried a box under one arm and smiled at her over his shoulder.
“I don’t see what you’re so happy about,” she muttered. “You’re officially ending your job here.”
He shrugged. “I’m choosing to look at it as starting a new phase of my life.”
Sure, whatever, she thought as they made their way to the door. Not wanting to even look at the building, Hope looked down at her feet as they approached the door.
“Good evening, Mr. Cooper. It’s good to see you again, Sir.”
Hope looked up and gasped with surprise. “Jerome! What are you doing here? I thought…I mean, I heard…”
“Tonight’s my first night back on the job,” he said with a bright smile. “Mr. James called me himself and gave me my job back along with an apology. Normally I’m here until midnight, but he said to leave at ten so I can ring in the New Year with my wife.”
“Wow,” she sai
d quietly. “That’s…that’s wonderful. Really. I’m so happy for you.”
Ted had walked away and placed a box on Jerome’s desk by the door and pulled out a tin of cookies. He looked at Hope and winked. “You really don’t think that I’d only bring cookies to a party, do you?” He laughed. “I knew you had wanted Jerome to have some of these before Christmas, but I wanted to surprise you with seeing him for yourself.”
Jerome took the tin from Ted and thanked him before turning back to Hope. “I’m telling you, it was like a Christmas miracle,” he said. “My wife and I were trying to figure out where I was going to find work once the holidays were over and then the day after Christmas, Mr. James called me at home and apologized and asked if I wanted my old job back. With a raise!”
Emotions clogged Hope’s throat so all she could do was nod.
“Anyway, the extra money will go a long way with helping with the medical bills. Although Mr. James said that he’s going to help me find a specialist to help Arlene with her asthma.” He smiled. “I think Mr. James must have been visited by those three ghosts that Dickens talked about in that Christmas story because he’s like a different man.”
“We really need to go,” Ted said and clapped Jerome on the back. “Happy New Year, Jerome.”
“You too, Mr. Cooper. And you too, Miss Cooper. Thank you for the cookies. Arlene and I will enjoy them tonight as we watch the ball drop.” And then he walked over and hugged her.
Hope was nearly openly weeping by the time they were back at Ted’s car.
“Why are you crying?” Ted asked gently as they climbed in. “I thought you’d be happy! I thought seeing that Jerome got his job back would perk you up.”
“It did. It does. I’m just…I can’t believe Beckett did that.”
Ted didn’t comment and instead pulled out of the parking lot and in the direction of the party. He knew that Hope’s mind was probably swirling with ideas as to why Beckett did what he did and he just wanted to let her have some time to absorb it all.
Stranded: A Winter Romance Duet Page 17