by Beth Wiseman
Tomorrow morning was fine by Eli. He was weary from travel, and just chatting with his cousin’s family would be plenty for this evening. He nodded, and a moment later Betsy walked up to him, toting a book under her arm. “Hello, Betsy. You’ve turned eight years old since moving here, haven’t you?”
A strand of curly blond hair fell from beneath her kapp as she nodded. “Ya.” She cocked her head to one side and stared at him.
Eli knew from past experience that there was no telling what might come out of Betsy’s mouth. He braced himself.
“Mamm doesn’t understand why a handsome man like you doesn’t have a fraa.”
“Betsy!” Vera covered her eyes with her hand as a rosy blush filled her cheeks. “Excuse Betsy, Eli.” Then she glared at her daughter, but Eli just grinned.
“Because I just haven’t found anyone as pretty as you,” he said. Then he tickled her, and she squealed until he released her.
When someone knocked at the door, Vera stood up and eased her way across the living room. Cousin Elam moseyed to the fireplace and stoked the dwindling fire until orange sparks shimmied upward, then he gave the logs a few more pokes until the flames stretched high.
Eli leaned back against the couch and crossed one ankle over his knee. He stroked his beard as he thought about how long he might stay in Colorado. This was his first trip, there’d be much to see, and he didn’t have to rush home to tend to one single thing. A vacation. His daughters had all married fine men who took good care of them and the five grandchildren they’d given him, and his son’s wife was expecting number six, the second for the couple. Yes, all was well in Eli’s world. Freedom to do as he pleased. He stroked his beard, feeling giddy as a young man in his rumschpringe. His musings were interrupted by the return of Vera and another woman.
“Eli, this is Katie Ann. She’s soon to be Emily’s aenti.” Vera motioned toward the woman on her right. “She’s David’s aenti on his father’s side.”
Eli uncrossed his ankle from atop his knee, stood up, and extended his hand to the woman. “Nice to meet you.”
She latched onto his hand, nodded, then followed Vera to the kitchen.
Elam waited until the ladies were out of the room before he spoke in a whisper. “Pretty, isn’t she?”
Eli narrowed his brows, wondering why his cousin would make the comment about another man’s wife, and not sure how to respond. “Ya, I suppose so.” He tried to sound casual. “What’s her name again?”
“Katie Ann.” Elam told Betsy to go help in the kitchen, and his young cousin pouted a bit before padding out of the room. “And she is a widow.” He kept his voice low. “But she hasn’t been a widow for long. Her husband was killed only a few months ago in a car accident.” Elam stepped closer and lowered his voice even more. “He’d left her before that, though, for an Englisch woman. He’d moved back to Lancaster County and was living with that woman when he died.”
Eli glanced toward the kitchen for a moment before he looked back at Elam. “That’s terrible.”
“Ya.” Elam shook his head. “A real shame.”
Eli stroked his beard again, and the two men were quiet as the ladies reentered the room.
“It was nice to meet you, Eli.” Katie Ann waved briefly in Eli’s direction as she moved toward the door. “See you all tomorrow.”
Eli returned the gesture, watching her as she crossed the threshold. As the door closed behind her, Eli scratched his chest. Not that it itched. He just wasn’t sure why his heart was beating so fast.
KATIE ANN DROVE home and tethered her buggy, then waved to Lillian as she walked toward her own house. She was blessed to have Ivan’s brother and sister-in-law living right next door on the same property. The two households shared a barn and phone, and Samuel and Lillian were as much her family as they were before Ivan left her.
She slipped quietly into her living room, where Martha was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, bare feet propped up on the coffee table.
“Did Jonas sleep the whole time I was gone?”
“Yep. I kept checking on him, but the little fella is sleeping soundly.” Martha didn’t look up as she flipped a page.
“When did you last check on him?” Without waiting for an answer, Katie Ann hurried to Jonas’s room. She stared down into his crib. As his tiny chest rose and fell, she breathed a sigh of relief.
After a few moments, she walked back into the living room. Martha’s arms were folded across her chest, and Katie Ann quickly pulled her eyes from the older woman’s glare.
“I told you that I have been checking on him. He’s just fine, isn’t he?”
Katie Ann fluffed a throw pillow on the couch beside Martha and slowly sat down. “Ya. He is.” She crossed one leg over the other and nervously kicked her foot into motion. It had taken her a long time to leave Jonas with anyone, and the only ones she trusted with her baby were Martha and Lillian. And that hadn’t come easily.
They were quiet for a few moments, and Martha resumed turning the pages of her magazine.
“I’m doing better,” Katie Ann finally said as she fingered the string on her prayer covering. “You know, about checking on him.”
Martha twisted her mouth to one side and grunted. “How many times did you get up to check on him last night?”
Katie Ann thought about all the nights she’d just watched Jonas sleeping. Martha would be shocked if she knew the real amount of sleep Katie Ann had lost hovering over the baby, fear consuming every inch of her being. “Not that many.”
Martha faced her. “How many, Katie Ann? Once to feed him? Three times? A dozen times?”
The last was probably most accurate, but Katie Ann just shrugged. “I don’t know. But he has been crying during the night, and I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”
It was true. The past week she’d been up with him even more than usual. And not just to watch him breathe. He would wail, and Katie Ann wasn’t sure what was wrong, which just added to the fear that he would die before he reached his first birthday. The way Annie did.
“You’re a good mother, Katie Ann, and Jonas is a healthy little bundle.” Martha patted Katie Ann on the knee and returned to her reading. “Babies cry sometimes.”
Katie Ann had never told anyone but Ivan about Annie. It happened so long ago . . .
They were quiet again, and after a few moments Katie Ann glanced at Martha and frowned. “I don’t know why you read that garbage. It has nothing to do with us or our community.”
“I’m not Amish. It’s allowed.” Martha didn’t look up this time.
Katie Ann gently elbowed her. “I think you should be baptized and become one of us.” She’d had this conversation with Martha many times, and the answer was always the same. “You attend worship with us every other Sunday, you love the Lord, and you are always doing for folks in our community.”
Katie Ann thought back almost a year, to when she’d become close to Martha. It was an unlikely friendship—a pregnant Amish woman whose husband had left her . . . and an older Englisch widow who was gruff, outspoken, and set in her ways. But it didn’t take Katie Ann long to realize that beneath Martha’s crotchety temperament was a woman who just wanted to love and be loved—to have a family. And that’s what Katie Ann, Jonas, and Martha had become. Family.
Martha closed the magazine slowly, pressed her lips together, and squinted her eyes as she glared at Katie Ann. “I’ll tell ya again . . . I’m not wearing those clothes of yours, and especially not those prayer coverings. Anything on my head makes my scalp itch. And I am not giving up my television.” She tossed her head back, grunted, and went back to her magazine.
Katie Ann took note of Martha’s red-and-white-striped pants outfit, her mismanaged curls beneath the butterfly clip, and her bright red fingernails, and grinned. Converting would indeed require a large makeover for Martha. But Martha often visited the bishop, and Katie Ann wondered what they talked about.
All of a sudden Martha gasped, slammed the magazine
closed, and twisted to face Katie Ann. Her eyes were round as saucers. “Did you meet him?”
“Who?” She leaned her head back against the couch as she yawned.
“Eli Detweiler, Elam’s cousin.”
Katie Ann uncrossed her legs and shifted her weight. “As a matter of fact, yes. Why do you ask?”
Martha pinched her face together until her wrinkles looked like they were all connected. “Is he as handsome as Vera says?”
“What?” Katie Ann turned her head to face her.
Martha cackled. “Vera’s got good taste. That Elam of hers is quite a looker. If she says Eli is handsome, I bet he’s a hunk.”
Katie Ann shrugged. “I didn’t notice.”
“Did she tell you that he’s a single man? Lost his wife seventeen years ago, and—”
Katie Ann bolted from the couch, slammed her hands to her hips, and glared at her friend. “I am in mourning, Martha. My husband has only been gone for a few months. How could you possibly think—”
“Oh, stop it.” Martha stood up. “That scoundrel cheated on you and left you for another woman. I’d get to know that handsome Eli Detweiler while he’s in town.”
Katie Ann blinked back tears, determined that there would be no more crying where Ivan was concerned. “You are being inappropriate, Martha.”
Martha placed her hands on Katie Ann’s arms. “Katie Ann, I couldn’t love you any more if you were my own daughter. It’s your people’s way to marry soon after a spouse dies, and Vera said that Eli is a fine fellow.”
“If he’s such a fine fellow, then why has he been single for the past seventeen years?” She freed herself of Martha’s hold and walked to the fireplace. She poked the glowing embers several times until a spark eased up between the logs.
“Apparently he’s been raising six kids, and the last one just got married. Maybe he was dedicated to his family? An admirable quality, wouldn’tcha say?”
Katie Ann didn’t look up as she gave the fire another poke. “Maybe.”
Martha chuckled. “Or maybe he’s just been waiting for you for the past seventeen years.”
Katie Ann put the fire tool in its holder and faced off with Martha. “Ya. I’m sure that’s it.” She rolled her eyes.
Martha clomped across the wooden floor, grabbed her red purse from the couch, and slipped on her black slippers by the door. “I’m heading to my house. I need a nap.”
Katie Ann followed and wondered if she’d have time for a little shut-eye before Jonas woke up. “Martha, why do you wear your slippers when there is snow on the ground?”
Martha raised her foot and flashed the sole of her shoe upward, giving it a pat. “These aren’t regular slippers, dear. I ordered these on the Internet, and they weren’t cheap. They’re water resistant and easy on my corns.” She put her foot down before she lost her balance. Her brows shifted upward. “Another thing I couldn’t give up to join your people. My Internet!” She pulled Katie Ann into a hug. “You get some rest. Gonna be a long day tomorrow.” Then she winked.
Katie Ann stepped onto the porch as Martha eased her way down the porch steps. “Martha?”
Martha looked over her shoulder. “What?”
Katie Ann wagged a finger in her direction, recalling the time Martha tried to fix her up with an Amish fellow at the hardware store barely a month after Ivan died. “No funny business tomorrow. No matchmaking. Do you hear me?”
Martha flashed a broad toothy smile. “Of course, dear.”
Katie Ann closed the door and went to check on her precious baby. She tiptoed into his room, lightly touched his head, and spoke to him in a whisper. “You are all that I need, my little miracle.”
She and Ivan had tried to have a baby for most of their twenty years of marriage. It was bittersweet the way it all turned out, and again she wished Ivan could have held his child. He died three months before Jonas arrived, and never even knew Katie Ann was pregnant. She wondered if she’d done right by Ivan not to tell him, but at the time she hadn’t wanted him returning to her out of obligation, and she wasn’t sure he even deserved to know.
It was quiet in the house. She considered taking a nap, but sure as she laid her head down, her baby boy would wake up. Instead, she let her mind drift to a place she often went during quiet times. As visions of her early years with Ivan danced in her head, she tried to stay focused on those happy memories, but as usual, it wasn’t long before images of Ivan and Lucy bombarded her thoughts. She shook her head and anger wrapped around her heart in the familiar way.
In the beginning she’d blamed herself for not being a better wife. Later she’d faulted Lucy for seducing her husband away from her. Most recently she’d decided that Ivan was a weak, dishonest coward—and he was the one responsible for ruining her life.
How could Martha even suggest that she open her heart to another man? Even good Amish men lie and leave their wives.
Two
ELI SLIPPED ON HIS SHOES, SURPRISED AT HOW WELL he’d slept in the extra bedroom upstairs. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d awakened anywhere besides his own bed. After he pulled his suspenders up on his shoulders, he lifted his arms high above his head and stretched. It was five thirty, still completely dark outside. Only the light from his lantern flickered nearby. But he could hear folks bustling about downstairs. It was a fine day for a wedding, and he was looking forward to all that life had to offer him in this new stage.
He walked casually down the stairs, fighting the urge to whistle. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he hugged several of his cousins who had arrived early to help. He spotted Katie Ann among the women scurrying around in the kitchen. She smiled, and he found himself holding her gaze for longer than he should have. She looked away and went back to buttering loaves of bread. Eli wondered if she knew that Elam was trying to play matchmaker.
Elam walked in then, followed by Jacob and Levi. They were carting chairs, and Eli figured that was his job for the moment. “More chairs in the barn?”
Elam nodded. “Ya. Danki, Eli.”
Eli recognized the tense lines running across Elam’s forehead. It wasn’t just a busy day for the father of the bride—in a way, he was losing his little girl, sending her off into adulthood, trusting that her husband would always take care of her. Eli had felt the rush of panic on the wedding day of each of his daughters.
After he retrieved four more chairs, he met up with Elam in the living room. “David seems like a gut man, from all I’ve heard.”
Elam unfolded one of the metal chairs and placed it in a row with the others. “Ya. David is a fine fellow.”
There was nothing he could say to alleviate his cousin’s anxiety. Eli glanced up to see Katie Ann walking into the living room, and he nodded at her, knowing he was flirting, yet unable to take his gaze from her. Her deep brown eyes drew him in, but she looked away as she leaned down into a playpen and scooped up a baby.
He eased his way slowly toward her. “What a fine-looking boppli.”
Katie Ann’s face lit with pride. Her eyes softened and her cheeks glowed as she looked down on the little one. Nothing like a baby to warm a woman’s heart—or a man’s, for that matter. Every time someone commented about one of his grandchildren, Eli’s heart swelled with pride. Even though it wasn’t the Amish way, Eli was pretty sure God allowed it for grandparents.
“Danki. This is Jonas.” She twisted so that Eli could see the child she was cradling in her arms. Eli leaned closer to the baby—and to her. His arm barely brushed against hers, causing her to step back a bit, but not before the sweet smell of lavender filled his nostrils. He wasn’t sure if the scent came from her or the baby, but he drew in a deep breath as he gazed upon the child.
“He looks to be about two months, no?” Eli forced himself to stand tall and give the woman some space.
“Ya. He is two months old this week.”
Eli remembered when his first grandchild was born. His daughter-in-law, Laura Jane, had gone into labor early. Scared the
m all to death, but little Leah fought her way into the world at four pounds, and today she was a healthy, beautiful four-year-old. “He has the same deep brown eyes as you,” he said after a moment.
Katie Ann’s cheeks took on a pink flush. “He’s everything to me.” She eased the baby up in her arms and kissed him on the forehead.
“Your first one?”
She lifted her head to face him. “Mei only one.”
Eli nodded. “I have six . . . and one on the way.”
Katie Ann narrowed her brows as she squinted, and Eli could almost feel the prick from her piercing eyes. “Did you say . . . one on the way?”
“Ya. Due next month.”
She bit her lip. “I see.”
Eli looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders, knowing he should be carting more chairs in. He chuckled. “I’m guessing I’ll have a dozen or so more when it’s all said and done.”
Her eyes grew round as she stared at him. “Really?”
“Sure. Aren’t you hoping for lots more?” He stroked his beard as he wondered how many children she had.
She raised her chin and gave him an icy stare. “I’m quite sure this will be my only one.”
Eli scratched his forehead, unsure what to make of her comment. “Ach, you never know. We can’t control how many grandchildren we’ll end up with.”
Katie Ann gasped as she took a step back from him. “Grandchildren?”
Oops. He’d made a big mistake. He took off his hat, pressed it against his chest, and cringed for a moment. “That’s not your grandchild, is it?”
She shifted the baby in her arms and stiffened. “No. Jonas is mei boppli.” Katie Ann’s cheeks were red as her eyes avoided his.
Eli felt like a heel. “I’m sorry. I guess I just figured that—”
“—a woman my age would be a grandmother and not a new mudder?”
“Nee, nee.” Eli’s mind searched for a way to mend the situation. “Of course that’s not what I thought. I know lots of Amish women who’ve had kinner into their forties, but Elam told me that you were a widow, so I guess I just assumed the child must be a grandchild.”