by Beth Wiseman
His presence gave her joy, even if she didn’t understand the Lord’s plan, or completely trust it. “Me too.”
Eli shifted his weight and crossed one ankle on his knee, his body still turned toward her. “Katie Ann . . .” He paused.
“I’d like to write to you. Would that be all right? I mean, I’d like to know how you and Jonas are doing.”
“I’d like that.” She playfully tapped him on the shoulder. “I want to hear all about your travels, the places you’ll see.”
He chuckled. “I know it’s strange for an Amish man to take on such excursions, but I still plan to work hard too.”
“You don’t need to justify your intentions to anyone except God. I think you’ve earned some time to yourself.”
“Danki for saying that.”
“Where will you go first?”
“Indiana. Jake’s wife, Laura Jane, has family there. They’ve invited me to stay with them, and I’ve never been to Indiana. Then I’ll go back home and ready my land for planting. And after that, I plan to take a short trip to Florida.”
Katie Ann knew envy was a sin, but the emotion surfaced just the same, and she fought the memories of all the times Ivan promised to take her on a vacation there. “I think that’s wonderful.”
“It will seem strange, being away from the kinner. Even now, being here, I can’t help but worry about all of them.” He chuckled. “That was the one thing the Lord couldn’t have prepared me for with six children. No matter how old they get, I still worry.”
“I can understand that.”
Eli sat taller. “Do you have a phone?”
“I share the same phone that Samuel installed in the barn. We know lots of folks have cell phones these days or phone ringers in the haus, but I agreed with Lillian and Samuel that it’s best to keep the ringers out of the house, especially when Jonas is sleeping. And Lillian wants her kinner to grow up without the invasions of the outside world.”
“Can I call you sometimes?”
“I’d like that.” She twisted away from him toward the table by the couch, found her small pad of paper and a pen. She scribbled down the phone number and address and handed it to him.
“Could you take my phone number and address down, in case you or Jonas need anything? I’m going to get a cell phone soon so I can be in touch with my family when I’m on the road, but for now I have a phone in the barn.”
Katie Ann passed him the paper and pen. He handed it back to her with his phone number and address.
He glanced at the clock and grinned. “Time sure does fly when I’m with you. I guess I need to go.” He stood up, and Katie Ann did the same. “My bus leaves early in the morning, and I’ll have to catch a taxi ride to the bus station.”
Katie Ann couldn’t think of a single thing to say to get him to stay just a little longer, and she dreaded saying good-bye.
She followed him to the door and waited while he pulled on his long black overcoat and put on his black felt hat. When he was done, he just stared at her. She didn’t move, but as he inched closer her knees began to shake and her pulse quickened. He cupped her cheek.
“I’ve been dreading having to say good-bye to you,” he said.
His touch was unbearably tender, as was the sound of his voice, sending a warm shiver through her. As his lips slowly descended to her cheek, she felt both relief and disappointment, then he kissed her again, this time closer to her mouth, and when his lips brushed hers there was an intimacy that she knew she would recall for a long time, and she was going to savor every second.
After what seemed like a long while, he eased away, picked up her hand, and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Take care, my friend.”
Under any other circumstances, and with anyone else, it would have seemed a strange thing to say.
“You too.” She fought the tremble in her voice.“Safe travels.”
He smiled as he closed the door behind him.
Katie Ann watched Eli through the window as he walked down the driveway to go back to Vera and Elam’s, a light snow falling. She touched her lips and fought the urge to cry.
“Be blessed and safe, my friend,” she whispered as he disappeared into the darkness.
Eleven
MIDDLEFIELD WELCOMED ELI BACK WITH SLIGHTLY warmer temperatures than he’d left in Colorado, but with snow just the same. He thanked the cabdriver, noticed all the buggies in front of his house, and wondered what was going on. Hurrying into the living room, he was surprised to see all five of his daughters inside.
“What in the world are all you maedels doing here?” He looked at each one of them. “And where are all my grandchildren?”
Hannah waved her hand in the air. “They’re with Laura Jane.”
“And why does she have all the kinner this fine afternoon?”
“Because we want to talk to you, Daed.” Ida Mae sat down on the couch next to Karen and Frieda. “Sit down and tell us all about your trip.”
Eli narrowed his brows. Something was up. His daughters all led busy lives, and he was going to see all of them here the very next day for Thanksgiving. “I could have told you all about it tomorrow, mei maedels.”
“We couldn’t wait!” Maureen was still standing, and she bounced on her toes as she spoke. “Tell us about . . .” She grinned. “Her.”
“Who?”
“Katie Ann.”
He glanced around the room at his five daughters. Why were they gathered here and asking about Katie Ann?
“Aenti Vera told us you spent a lot of time with her while you were in Canaan.” Frieda pushed back a strand of dark hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer covering. “So we were just wondering . . .” She gave a little shrug.
Eli slowly took off his coat, then his hat. He hung them both on a rung by the front door and folded his arms across his chest. You could have heard a pin drop on the wooden floor beneath his feet. “And which one of you called Aenti Vera to check on me?” He tried to keep a serious voice.
Hannah laughed as she took a seat in a rocking chair in the corner. “We didn’t have to call Aenti Vera. She called us. We’re so happy for you, Daed. We’ve been praying that you would find someone to share your life with. You deserve that, and Katie Ann sounds wonderful, perfect for—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Eli held his palm toward Hannah, whose expression dropped. “There is no romance between me and Katie Ann.”
His kiss with Katie Ann flashed through his mind, and he knew it was the most romantic thing that had happened to him in seventeen years, but he wasn’t about to admit that to his daughters. “We are friends. That’s all.” He looked at all of his daughters, one by one. “Now, why the long faces?”
Maureen was standing across the room, her expression possibly the most forlorn of the group. “We were hoping you’d found someone special.”
To insinuate that Katie Ann was not special caused a knot in Eli’s stomach. “She is special. A special friend.” Eli unfolded his arms from across his chest and put them on his hips. “Since when did all of mei dochders become so interested in mei personal life?”
“Maureen is married and out of the house now, Daed. We’re all out on our own.” Hannah walked closer to Eli. “It’s time for you to find someone to grow old with.”
Eli chuckled. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am old.” He walked to the coffee table and picked up his mail. “And none of you needs to be fretting about me.” He flipped through the envelopes. “Besides, I told you girls that I planned to do some traveling.”
“First of all, that’s just not normal.” Frieda scowled. “What sort of Amish man wanders the countryside?”
Eli put down his mail, rubbed his forehead, and wondered when his daughters all grew into such headstrong women. He looked at Frieda, stroked his beard for a moment, and then shook his head. “I’ve told all of you that I plan to take some time for myself.”
“Well, that was before you met a woman who is perfect for you.”
Mauree
n leaned back against the couch, her pouting expression reminding Eli of when she was a small girl.
“Ya. And you’re going to blow it, Daed.” Karen also leaned back against the couch, folding her arms across her chest.
“Perfect for me?” Eli faced off with all his girls, glancing around at each one of them in turn. “She is not perfect for me.
Katie Ann has a baby that is almost three months old. She is just now starting her family. I’ve raised six wonderful kinner, and I think I deserve a little time on my own.”
Ida Mae huffed. “That sounds mighty selfish, Daed.”
Hannah spoke up next. “Hush, Ida Mae.” She turned to Eli. “It’s not selfish, Daed. And we do think you should have some time for yourself, but—”
“Danki for your permission, Hannah.” Eli smiled, but when Hannah’s eyes teared up, he silently reprimanded himself for the comment. Hannah was his most sensitive child, even though she was the oldest daughter. “Girls,” he said softly, glancing at each one of them. “If ever there was a time when I needed a fraa, it was when you all were young. I regret that you grew up without a mother for so long, and some of you not at all. So I’m going to say this one time, then that’s the end of it. Katie Ann is a beautiful, wonderful person. We grew close while I was there, and we plan to stay in touch. As friends.” He pointed a finger around the room. “Everyone clear about that?”
The girls all gathered near the door, nodding as they bundled up in coats and bonnets. They each kissed him on the cheek and rattled off what they were bringing for the Thanksgiving meal the next day. As the others scurried across the porch toward their buggies, Ida Mae hung back. She wrapped her arms around her father. “We just want you to be happy, Daed. That’s all.”
Eli eased away and cupped Ida Mae’s chin. “I know you do, mei maedel. And hard work mixed with travel will make me happy.”
She nodded, and Eli watched his very independent, strongwilled daughters hitch up their buggies to head home. Pride was something to be avoided, but Eli was proud of each one of them just the same.
He waved at the departing buggies, then walked back inside. Again his mind replayed his kiss with Katie Ann, the way it had been since the moment his lips left hers. She was as wrong for him as any woman could be. And it wasn’t just Jonas and the new family she was beginning. Eli could tell from their conversations that Katie Ann was struggling to trust again.
Maybe she had forgiven her husband and his mistress, but he sensed that trust was still a far cry away.
He didn’t ever want to do anything to cause her to distrust him. What about the kiss? Shouldn’t she have been able to trust him not to be so forward? Eli supposed he should feel guilty for both times that they had kissed . . . but he didn’t.
Nothing had ever felt so right.
KATIE ANN BUTTONED her coat, tied her bonnet, and gathered up the extra-large batch of creamed celery she’d made to take for the Thanksgiving feast. She’d taken Jonas over earlier and was sure that Anna and Elizabeth were entertaining him. As she closed the door behind her, she stumbled, then grimaced when she saw what almost caused her to trip. A dead mouse. As she eased around the poor critter, she noticed he wasn’t frozen, but freshly dead. Then something darted from underneath the house and raced toward the barn.
Mrs. Dash turned around once to look at Katie Ann before scurrying through a barn window and out of sight. Katie Ann looked again at the dead animal, then eased down her porch steps. She’d been feeding the cat leftovers most every morning and night. Katie Ann still couldn’t get close to her, but perhaps this was Mrs. Dash’s way of returning the favor—ridding the barn of mice.
She was almost to Lillian’s front door when she heard a car. Spinning around, she saw that it was Martha. It was too cold to wait for her, so she headed into Lillian’s large kitchen through a second door on the porch.
“It’s toasty warm in here,” she said as she put the creamed celery on the table. She scanned the room and saw everyone but the newlyweds. “Where’re Emily and David?”
“They’re here.” Lillian pointed to the living room. “With Elizabeth, Anna, and Jonas.”
Katie Ann peeked her head into the room and watched Emily and David fussing over Jonas. She smiled, sure that the couple was probably planning to start their own family soon. “Hello, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving.”
After she’d hugged those in the room, she walked back into the kitchen just as Martha came through the door from the porch into the kitchen. Lillian disliked the fact that everyone used that door, but it was just so convenient. Martha elbowed her way through the crowd in the kitchen.
“I made a cheese ball.” She handed it to Lillian. “Because that’s just all the energy I could muster up this year.”
Lillian took the ball wrapped in plastic wrap. “Martha, you didn’t have to bring anything. I told you that.” She tenderly rubbed Martha’s arm. “How are you feeling?”
Martha shrugged. “As good as anyone who has a big tumor in their stomach could feel, I guess.”
Katie Ann rubbed her forehead. Despite Martha’s nonchalance, she knew her friend was scared.
“I want to know every little detail of your visit with Eli yesterday,” Martha whispered in her ear. “You and I are going to your house directly this afternoon, and don’t hold back any details.”
“Martha, there isn’t much to tell. We went to Alamosa, and—”
“Whatever. I want to hear it all anyway.”
Katie Ann could feel her cheeks reddening just thinking about last night.
An hour later, a meal that took many hours to prepare was consumed in less than fifteen minutes, and the men retired to the barn while the women cleaned up.
“Oh, I need to tell you all, I got the details for my surgery next week.” Martha handed Vera a plate to be washed.
“They’re cutting me open on Wednesday. I have to be there early in the morning, and . . .” She paused with a huff. “Can you believe I can’t eat breakfast that morning? Not that I would have been thrilled to have cereal and a muffin as my last meal, but . . .”
Vera was running soapy water in Lillian’s sink, and Emily handed her another plate as she turned to Martha. “Martha, first of all, it’s not your last meal. Don’t say things like that.”
Emily’s eyes were starting to tear up. Katie Ann knew how much the girl—and David—loved Martha. They all did. But Martha needed to be careful how she spoke about her upcoming surgery, especially around the younger folks.
Katie Ann patted Emily on the shoulder and whispered, “Everything will be fine. You know how Martha gets.”
Emily nodded, but Katie Ann was as worried as the rest of them.
“Katie Ann?” David poked his head into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear. “You have a phone call.”
“A call? Who could be calling me?”
Everyone in the room turned to David, and Lillian spoke up. “David, who is it?”
His smile broadened. “It’s Eli.”
Katie Ann couldn’t even look at the women around her, and the heat in her face was evidence of how red her cheeks must be. She tucked her chin as she moved toward the door.
“You go, girl!” Martha’s voice boomed above the whispers in the kitchen, and Katie Ann kept her eyes down.
As she walked into the barn, the men began to scatter. Elam, Samuel, David, Jacob, and Levi all moved toward the door.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to leave.”
“Sure we do,” Levi said as he winked at her.
Katie Ann took a deep breath and watched as Samuel closed the barn door behind them. She wished she had thought to bundle up before she ran out the door. With chattering teeth, she said, “Hello.”
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
Her heart came alive at the sound of his voice. “And happy Thanksgiving to you.” She put a hand to her chest, hoping to calm her rapid pulse, but it was no use. It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since he left her house, since the kiss, but her
lips still tingled at the memory of his touch.
“I had to get away from the crowd for a few minutes. My girls have taken over my kitchen, which is fine. My son and sons-in-law have taken over my living room, which is fine. And my grandchildren are in my bedroom playing board games. That, too . . . is fine. But . . .” He chuckled. “I needed a few minutes of quiet. And I thought about you. Are you having a good day with everyone?”
“Ya, ya. We all ate too much, as expected.” She held her breath for a moment, wondering if their conversation would be filled with small talk, in light of all the deep conversations they’d had over the past couple of weeks.
“I’m not going to keep you from family, but I didn’t want the day to go by without wishing you a happy Thanksgiving.
And you hug Jonas from me.”
Katie Ann was glowing from the inside out, and she didn’t even notice the cold anymore. “I will. And you give my blessings to your family as well.”
It was quiet for a moment.
“Katie Ann, I’m feeling a little bad about . . .”
She heard him take a deep breath.
“. . . about the way I kissed you Tuesday night.”
“It wasn’t like it was the first time.” Katie Ann slapped a hand across her mouth, not believing what she’d said. She squeezed her eyes closed in horror and waited for Eli’s response.
He laughed. “Uh, true. I was just thinking that maybe I somehow took advantage, and—”
“Eli, I’m a grown woman. You didn’t take advantage of me.”
“Well then, if it’s okay with you, I’m not going to feel bad anymore. I’m highly attracted to my new best friend, and I had a weak moment.”
“You had two weak moments.” She squeezed her eyes shut again, but she couldn’t stop smiling at how playful they were being with each other and how natural it felt.
Eli’s familiar laughter warmed her heart. “Ya, I did. And trust me, I think about both. Often.”
Katie Ann wanted to tell Eli that she thought about him too, but there was no way she was going to put her heart out there to a man she couldn’t have. She thought about the way he always referred to her as his best friend. She liked that title. It was safe, but she wasn’t sure what to say.