by Brown, Tara
My skin prickles thinking about them in the farms. Anna is old enough to be put to "work" and Jake is strong. He will be made to work hard labor.
I look up and see people eyeballing us. They pretend to be working near us, but they watch Leo eating. It makes me smile. If only they knew what a pussycat he is.
I feel fingers bite into my skin, "Wolfie mine." He shouts into my face.
The little brat is back. I hate him. His greedy little fingers are wiping an orange paste on my shirt. I lean away from him.
"Don't look so horrified. He's just a kid." Will picks the little monster up and carts him back to the doe eyed lady. I feel sorry for her. Her life must be horrid.
I look at the orange stain mixed with debris smeared across my sleeve.
I glance up at Will, "Is there somewhere I can wash up?"
He nods at the dark haired lady, "Mary can take you."
She smiles, "Follow me." She passes the evil beast with the white hair to a man next to her.
I look at Meg who nods, "Just don’t get roped into the dress and them brushing your hair. It's a bad experience. Leo's fine with me."
I walk away from him, not looking back. He'll see my fear and follow. I don’t want him anywhere near the little monster. It's going to touch him and hurt him and Leo will bite and they’ll defend their little brat. Then we'll have to leave and it will ruin my plan to have a good night sleep.
"You've never seen a child before have you?" Mary asks sweetly as we walk past a grouping of tents and lean-tos. She leads me down a steep narrow dirt path.
"Not in over ten years. Just the ones left behind when the mom's get taken. I don’t hang around long enough to get to the know them though."
"That's horrible. You leave little kids alone?"
I don’t care if she judges me. I am alive. "I was a kid too Mary. I barely took care of myself and Leo."
She crosses her arms, "He gets tired once it's after six. He really is a sweet boy. Once you get to know him, you'll love him."
I try not to be rude but speak my mind, "He will get you killed with noises like that. The infected love noisy things that lead to food."
She looks back aghast, "We never leave the camp. None of the children do."
"So you have an agreement with the infected and the others that they stay out of your camp so the kids can be as noisy as they want?" My sarcasm is filled with more sarcasm.
She laughs, "You really don’t have any social skills do you?"
I shrug, "I've made it this long out there, alone."
She looks shocked, "How long have you been alone?"
My anger and pain is pulled away from me when I see it. I stumble past her and sigh, "Since the beginning."
The walls surrounding it are high and rocky. Nothing can get to the massive lagoon of crystal clear dark green water. The only visible path is the one I'm standing on. I pull my boots and socks off. My scabs sting on the dirt and rocks. I pull down my pants and rip off my shirt. I look back at her and smirk. I run down the remainder of the path. I run out onto the huge flat rocks that make a platform in the water. I dive in before I can chicken out. The cold rips through me instantly but I have never felt this clean. I remember my baths as a small kid. They were filled with bubbles and hard plastic mermaids. This is much better. The freshness of the water makes me feel alive in a good way. I lie on my back and float. The huge rocky walls surrounding me are amazingly high and rugged. The tops are high enough that even if I was spied upon I wouldn’t know who they were and vice versa.
I look over at Mary as she jumps off the rock. I blush as she enters the water with a big splash. She had been completely naked. I've never seen another naked woman before.
"So where are your parents?"
Apparently she has no problem going for the personal details right off the bat.
I lie back again and watch the sky grow dark blue, as the evening fully starts to set in.
"My mom died when I was really little. She had cancer."
"Back then everyone had cancer."
"Yeah I guess so. Anyway she died and it was me and dad and my grandparents. My dad was a survivalist so when things got bad we got out early. He taught me a lot of things I needed to know."
"Wow I heard about those people. I remember hearing my mom and dad call them wing-nuts and crazy."
I laugh bitterly, "Yeah. That’s how I felt about him. Well until the infection hit and Japan had those massive earthquakes and the tsunamis hit the west coast. Then I was pretty impressed at his resources."
"Did you get separated?"
I shake my head, "No we hid at a friend's bunker till we could get out of the urban areas. We were on our way to my grandparents cabin when we were in an accident. He was pinned under the jeep. The hunters were coming. He told me to run."
I don’t look at her. I have always been ashamed of that moment.
"After he was taken I was on a hillside and I heard a gunshot. I knew it was him. I ran for weeks until I got to the cabin. I was there alone until a few weeks ago."
She splashes me. I look up at her grin and frown, "How many times have you swam in the last ten years?"
I feel confused and lost in the conversation suddenly, "Uhm three times. Once I was being chased by the infected. I've crossed rivers without really swimming lots though."
She laughs, "How great is this moment?"
I'm annoyed by her randomness, but I nod, "Really amazing."
Her eyes are glassy under the light of the dark sky, "Then leave the rest of it where it happened. They ruined everything ten years ago, we can't let them ruin the future too." She splashes me again.
The anger is sucked out of me. She's right. I've lived afraid of making friends and helping people.
Suddenly a noise rips through the air. I turn as several people jump into the water. The waves and splashing take over the lagoon.
"Oh my god it's freezing." I see a blonde girl who's a little older than me next to me. Her teeth chatter. I realize suddenly mine are chattering. I see a huge hand come up behind her and push her face under the water. I swim away quickly in a panic. A young guy laughs as she breaks the surface and shoves him, "Ass."
They're playing in the water. Memories of people playing in the water flood my mind.
"Kim you know you love me." He pulls her into his embrace and kisses her with force. Suddenly she is pressed against him and they're kissing like people did in the movies, before.
I feel someone swimming up behind me. I turn suddenly to see a huge hand coming for my head. I try to swim away but my foot is grabbed. I am sucked under. I panic kicking as hard as I can. My legs are pulled back and I'm squished into a warm body. I swallow water before I'm able to break the surface. I push on the skin I touch and force my head above the water in a panic.
I hear a man's voice over the sounds of my own choking. "Jesus calm down. Are you okay?"
I sputter and cough. I feel sick but also terrified. I never drink water that isn’t boiled or fresh from my wells. Anyone of them could have the infection. It could be in the water. I swim for the big rock and pull myself up onto the platform. I lie on my stomach against the cold stone. My skin trembles and shivers.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I look over at Mary at the edge of the rock. I nod and push myself up. I pick up my clothes and run up the hill toward the tents.
"Asshole."
"What?"
"Mark you have to be careful. She's lived alone since she was a kid. She doesn’t get it."
"I didn’t mean to."
I run faster to get away from their voices. I feel like a freak. I make my way to the nearest fire. I am alone, until I feel the warm breath at my hip. His cold nose feels warm against my bare skin. I go to pull on my stinky dirty clothes but Mary is suddenly there. She holds out a pile.
"Here." She is dripping wet too. We stand looking at each other in the firelight. She is so beautiful in her soaked dress with the water dripping from her.
&nbs
p; "Thanks." I put my bundle down on the dirt and take the pile she offers. They smell funny. I pull on the shirt and the pants over my soaked underwear. I pull my bra off when the shirt is on and covering me.
She takes it in her hands, "What's your name?"
I feel my lips tremble, "Emma."
She leans in and kisses me softly on the lips, "Emma it's okay. You're safe here. No infection and no others and no military. We take care of each other." She takes my soaking wet bra and picks up my pile of filthy clothes and leaves. I stand alone by the fire realizing she kissed me. I liked that she kissed me. It was a nice feeling. Not nice the way Jake's kiss was. Hers was sweet and soft. It makes me feel happy.
I look down at Leo, who turns his face in the light of the fire and whines. I pat his head and look to where she's walked. She drops my clothes in a basket and points to a bright orange glow in the woods across the camp. "Come to the fire. We sing and play guitar."
I pull on the dry clothes and wrap my arms around myself. Leo and I follow her through the woods to where a large bonfire is burning. I can hear the music faintly in the crackle of the flames and embers. It's folk music but better. It hits me with a wall of emotion. Everything lifts away from me. The music becomes embedded in my soul. I haven’t heard music since before. I feel like an outsider but the people at the fire smile at me. Someone shoves over on the log in front of me to make space. Leo sits and watches me sit in a crowd. He doesn’t know how to respond to this. He whines a little.
Heat waves rise from the huge fire making it hard to see across where the musicians are. The logs are built higher than the people sitting. I can make out a man with a small guitar. He's old and has a beard. A man starts singing with the soft guitars. His voice is incredible. It's raspy and sweet. I am in a trance. I sit and close my eyes. The music brings back something soft and sweet that I never realized I was missing. It's return aches in my chest. The sweet voice makes my skin shiver and my throat thick with unfelt emotions. We sit in a huge circle, warmed by the fire and the raw human emotions inside of the song. It's about love and sacrifice. A woman's voice accompanies the man's and the guitars. She adds softness to the song his raspy voice doesn’t have.
This is the greatest moment of my life. I have experienced nothing like this, even before. Time passes. I don’t know how much. Songs are sung. Whiskey is passed. I drink and sway my body with everyone else. My guard is not only lowered but it is destroyed in the camaraderie of the people at the fire and the song in our hearts.
In the light I can see Mary. She sings and laughs and drinks. Her eyes sparkle vibrantly in the orange glow.
Slowly people trickle away from the fire. Leo has crept up and is lying on my feet. The pile of logs and lumber on the fire has burned down to ash and in the embers I see something I never expected. Will's the singer with the haunting voice that has me lit up. He feels the music. I can see that. His eyes are closed and his fingers gently stroke the guitar. He finishes the song and I can't help but see him differently.
He walks to where I'm sitting and sits beside me.
"You're a good singer."
"We need to talk."
Sitting beside him makes my insides crawl. He doesn’t look sweet and soft like Mary does. He looks annoyed and angry with me. I feel intimidated by him. He doesn’t seem like the goof Anna described. He is intense.
"I know."
His long legs seem huge compared to mine. He is thick and strong looking. His face is handsome like Jake's, but more commanding. I want to listen to him for some reason. I feel like he could keep me safe, like he does everyone else here. I don’t know why I think it's him that does it, but I do.
"So where are they?"
I shake my head and try not to watch his mouth. "I don’t know. They were at my farmhouse last time I saw them."
"How did they look?"
I gulp, "Great. Jake was hurt a bit but I got him medicine. They were fine when I left though."
"Where did you meet them?"
"First my cabin." I start the story at the beginning and try not to stare at his lips as he processes what I have to say. I want him to sing to me some more.
Chapter Eleven
I wake with a wolf foot in my face. He kicks slightly in his dream and scratches my cheek.
I push it away and look around. I'm more comfortable than I've ever been, since before.
Meg is passed out with her arms around Leo. He loves to snuggle when he sleeps. I smile thinking he's met his soul mate.
The light of day is filtering in through the canvas of the tent. It's a small and cozy tent, so the air has grown stale with three of us breathing it.
I look down at my feet and amazed at how much they’ve healed. The scabs are flaking away and the sores are tiny compared to the scars. Leo kicks at me again. I sigh and climb out of the tent before I end up getting a paw in the head again.
I stretch and realize what I'm wearing. It's a tight t-shirt with the word rock and then a star below it. It's bright purple and too long for me. I'm also wearing jeans with tears and holes in the knees. I feel a bit of breeze in the back and feel my butt to discover holes back there as well. I frown. I need my pants back.
"You're up finally."
I turn around to see Will smiling at me. He is beautiful. I can't stop myself from gawking at him in his baby blue t-shirt and dark denim jeans. His eyes meet mine. He has noticed the way my eyes traveled his body. I blush.
"How come you get jeans with no holes?"
He laughs, "We only have so many clothes. The last trip to a mall was three years ago. We share everything."
I glance at Mary snuggled into a guy and holding the little brat, "Everything."
He turns and sees what I'm watching. He laughs again, "No not everything. She is really friendly Emma. She is like that with everyone. But if you're interested we have a few girls who are single."
I frown, "What?"
"If you're interested."
I shake my head, "I don’t know what you mean." He laughs at me. He is in a joke that I am not.
He sighs, "So want to go over the map with me?"
This makes me laugh, "I told you last night I don’t know maps. I know where I've been by remembering the woods."
He frowns, "Well back to the farmhouse then?"
"Okay but I need a favor." I say.
"What?"
I point to the tent, "I need her to stay here and be protected. She's fifteen. She's lived a hard life. Her mom was a prison warden."
He makes a face that makes me laugh, "Yeah I figured she was staying. Wow a warden?"
I nod, "Her mom and aunt just died. Her other aunt was taken to the breeder farms."
His blue eyes sparkled, "She is just our kind of girl then."
I am confused by him, but don’t have time to figure him out. I can't get the picture of him playing the guitar in the firelight out of my head. It is almost like there are two of him inside of his body. Sweet Will and Business Will.
Mary comes over carrying the monster.
"Andy what do you have to say to Emma?"
He looks down at the ground and pouts, "Sorry."
He fidgets with her blouse. She looks up and meets my frown with a smile.
I nod, "Okay thanks."
Will and Mary laugh.
"Mary will you take care of Meg till I get back?"
She leans in and hugs me. "Be safe Emma and hurry back."
I hug her back. I still hug like an iron rod. I notice the way she hugs like a person and I hug like a robot. She hugs just like Anna. My heart hurts thinking about them.
I turn and open the tent, "I'm leaving Meg. You need to stay here and help out okay. They need the extra hands."
She wakes and instantly gives me a snarl, "No. I'm coming with you."
I shake my head, "No you need to stay and hang with Mary. I'm taking Will to the farmhouse. I'll be back in a couple days."
She lays back, "Fine."
I look at Leo, "You coming or
staying?"
He stretches out on the sleeping bags and snuggles into Meg who laughs sarcastically, "Ha. He likes me better."
I roll my eyes, "Traitor."
I zip the tent back up and walk back to Will, whose eyes sparkle in the morning light.
"What?"
He shakes his head, amused by me for something, "You're funny Emma."
xxxx
The walk back down the mountain is less painful and considerably faster than the walk up. My feet don’t hurt and Will keeps a fast pace. Unlike Meg, he never speaks.
When we make it back to the meeting tree, we both take a pause and listen. I lead across the open field with a sprint.
We make it to the edge of the field. I crouch down to look out for any signs of life in the driveway. The barn door swings open and shut.
They're back. I know I sealed the barn door completely when I left. I can hear Will's breath on the back of my neck as I watch the house silently.
I turn and whisper, "Let me go look first."
He shakes his head and points to the barn door. I turn and look again.
I almost jump as I see them. It feels as though they're watching me. As the barn door swings open and shut a pair of eyes watch from inside. Stains of bloody tears streak the gaunt cheeks below.
My stomach twists and turns.
I back up but Will puts his arms on me to stop me from running away.
"Stay still."
His words make my skin shiver, as his hot breath lands on the back of my neck.
I don’t move. The barn door opens and closes several more times. Then suddenly it opens and the eyes are gone.
I look up at the loft window to see the thin figure pass by it. The window over looks the field perfectly. We will be seen. Suddenly I'm on the ground, in the hay and wrapped up in Will's long body. He holds me close to him.
The wind plays with the hay around us, it whispers to us.
I can feel his heart beating against my chest. We are face to face but my eyes dart around us. I hear footsteps. I hear something else, it’s the way an exhale sounds when your throat is a ragged mess.
The infected are near us. I want to pull my shirt up over my face. I want to run. I need my mask but I've left it behind. Another rule I've broken.