A shiver went through her body, imagining the horror of it all. She would have to find a way to make him want to run as far away from her as possible. She silently swore to herself that she would do everything in her power to make him turn and leave and never come back to Greystone Estate before the thirty days were up. In the long run, it would be best for them both. He did not truly love her, for he lacked the heart to love anyone other than himself. He would be free to find another woman more willing to become the slave he wanted, and she would be free to wait for her prince to sweep her off her feet.
The water began to cool by the time Sarah stepped out of the bath, her fingers and toes clean but looking as prunes. Anne had set out a shift, and Sarah looked forward to donning the soft material after wearing the coarse common dress these past days.
She was just pulling the covers over herself when a knock came to the door, and it opened without Sarah’s invitation. Her mother stepped in and closed the door behind her. Though her mother was old—she was approaching her fortieth year—she was still quite beautiful. Her hair still shined a vibrant auburn, no signs of silver showing as many women her age had. Where other women suffered sagging skin and darkness under their eyes, her mother maintained her youthful good looks and bright eyes.
Mrs. Crombly pulled the blanket up to Sarah’s chin and sat on the side of the bed and gazed down at her daughter. “You seemed to have had quite the adventure,” her mother said. “And of all the places to go, you ended up in a Weymouth. How did you know to go there?
Sarah's heart raced as her mind tried to find an excuse, but before she was able to concoct a story, her mother’s soft voice continued.
“It does not matter now. Though, I must admit I wonder about how you spent your time away. However, judging from the state of your clothes and the look on your face, I would be better not knowing.”
“Mother, I…” Sarah started to say, but her mother raised a finger to stop her.
“You have a wonderful life ahead of you,” Mrs. Crombly continued. “See that your own stubbornness does not ruin it. James has title, wealth, and most importantly, the look he gives you, many women, even married, would give anything to have.”
Sarah thought about her words for a moment. “Do you think he really cares for me? Am I not just a piece of property he desires to own?”
“No, my dear, I believe that he does truly care for you. A man of his position could have easily brought shame to you, and deservedly so, for your actions.”
Her mother’s words brought tears to Sarah’s eyes. Had she been wrong all this time? It did not make sense. James had shown her long ago the man he would grow to become. How could anyone change so much? Perhaps it was her mother’s way of ensuring Sarah was married. To women of her standing, those without title, having a daughter wed to a Duke would set her up for life in the ton. She would be invited to the best parties and to exquisite dinners, something for which her mother had on more than one occasion expressed her desire.
Then her mother said something that Sarah did not expect. “Life is better than you think, Sarah. Dwell on that before you sleep. Goodnight.” She then leaned in, kissed Sarah’s forehead and then left the room.
For some time, Sarah lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Perhaps her mother was right; her life was better than she thought. Her thoughts went to Ingrid back at the Horse and Plough, the sailors she had met, and the old man who had kissed her hand. Each had their own life; a life Sarah could not live. Yes, her mother was right, she had a life to live.
With that, she closed her eyes and allowed sleep to take over. Tomorrow would be another day.
Chapter Fifteen
It had been two days since James last saw Sarah, much to his dismay. He had planned to frequent Greystone Estate nearly every day, but with torrential rains the first and pressing business matters the second, he was happy to finally find himself in her father’s library on the third. It was just before midday, and the two men had discussed their business ventures over a two-hour period. Initially James had been reluctant to work with Mr. Crombly, as he assumed the man knew very little of the industry. However, as their discussions progressed, he realized the man had many more connections than James had first realized, connections that would serve them both well, expanding their wealth and their names.
“I have never considered funding such an operation,” Mr. Crombly said at one point. “However, I would imagine the cost will be great.”
“Indeed, but great costs oftentimes lead to greater rewards, making the endeavor even more worthwhile. Plus, funding a ship would be impressive, would it not?”
Mr. Crombly smiled. “Yes, I imagine it would be.” His tongue subconsciously licked at his lips. “It feels much like the risks I took with my first business venture, and look what it brought me.” His smile broadened as he outstretched his arms to encompass what was around him.
James gave him a respectful nod. Although meeting with this man was important to the plans being developed, this was the part of his visit James found the most excruciating. However, he would endure the dull conversation if it led to spending time with the man’s daughter.
A movement from the corner of his eye brought James’s attention to a large window that overlooked the gardens. Sarah stood at the parapet, her yellow gown flowing around her feet. He could see her profile, and it was more beautiful than the gardens she overlooked. His heart picked up a beat and his mouth went dry, but he turned back to Mr. Crombly lest the man see James staring after his daughter. Try as he might, he found it difficult to concentrate on what Mr. Crombly had to say, as his mind and heart were on Sarah. What he would prefer to do was go walking with her through the gardens. He had already lost days he desperately needed to win her over, and if he failed, he would likely lose her forever.
The thought brought on a feeling of sickness and heartache. He would not allow that to happen. When he went after something he wanted, he got it, and nothing could change that. No other man could love her the way he could, for he knew and understood her. She was defiant and headstrong, but he loved those things about her. They had once been as close as any two children could be, a bond formed in friendship that, because of his immaturity, had weakened. But all was not lost, and he now had the opportunity to once again build that bond and make it even stronger by the end of the thirty-day period. He would bet his life on it.
And he had.
“I fear women will never understand the ways of a gentleman,” Mr. Crombly was saying as James brought his thoughts back to the conversation at hand. “Or of the intricate processes of making money. Such matters of business I never discuss with my wife for fear of overwhelming her.”
James thought Mrs. Crombly a woman of great wit, much more so than other women he knew, and she no doubt passed along those great traits to Sarah. He wanted to say as much but instead allowed the man to continue.
“She has her needlepoint, the gardens, books to read, enough to keep ten women busy, yet my Jane can do it all. It is truly amazing.”
“Much like your daughter, I must say. Her love of knowledge is great. I look forward to listening to her recount the stories in the books she has recently read.”
Mr. Crombly laughed. “I thought as you did for a brief time when I first married. Though you will soon wish she was back to reading and giving your ears a rest.”
James smiled, though in his heart he could listen to Sarah talk all day and would crave more. He glanced out the window again, hoping to see her. However, the gardens stood alone, less grand now that she was not there to bring them to life. “I must be leaving soon to return home,” he said absently. “I'm afraid I have other matters to attend to.” He rose from his chair as Mr. Crombly did the same.
The man had a concerned look on his face. “What of the arrangement of which we spoke today? There still is so much more to deliberate.”
“I will come back tomorrow and the next if need be, until we have our plans finalized. If that is not a burden on you
, of course.” He spoke as such, yet he knew what the man’s reply would be.
“Not at all! Please, call in anytime.” Mr. Crombly accompanied James to the front door where the butler stood, James’s coat draped over his arm and hat in his hand. “Timothy, have Lord Foxworth’s horse brought around.”
The man bowed stiffly. “Yes, sir.” He helped James with his coat, handed him the hat and hurried off to do Mr. Crombly’s bidding.
“Please call over anytime, My Lord,” Mr. Crombly said after the butler had left and as they stepped through the door.
James stopped at the top of the steps and turned back to Mr. Crombly. “Would you mind if I walked through your gardens before I leave? I find it necessary to do so to solidify everything we have discussed. Otherwise, much of it could possibly flit away as I make my way home.”
A confused look fleeted over the man’s face, but he quickly hid it. “Not at all. I can understand your need to enjoy their tranquility. I have pressing matters to deal with myself, so I will leave you to your stroll, if that is all right with you, of course.”
Relief washed over James that the man did not offer to join him. “Thank you. Until tomorrow?”
“Until tomorrow.”
A few moments later, James was in the gardens, his footsteps hurried as he made his way to find Sarah.
***
The sun shone brightly and a slight breeze cooled him, for which he was glad lest he find Sarah with sweat on his brow. He hurried through the gardens, his strides long, his head turning this way and that as he searched for the woman who had his heart. Frustrated at not seeing her, a thought came to his mind, and taking a left, he hurried to the stables.
A smile came to his face when he saw her there, standing beside Molly, her hand stroking the old mare’s head. He took a deep breath and slowed his pace until he stood quietly just inside the doorway, where he leaned against the stable door. An upper door or window was open and the sunlight caught her just so, its rays highlighting her beauty. All he could do was stand there and stare at her, so transfixed was he.
Before he was able to speak, Sarah spoke. “If you wish to stare, you may, though I must say you look foolish.” How she knew he was there, he did not know. It was as if she had some secret ability to detect his presence.
“Perhaps I am a fool,” he countered, “but I am a fool captivated by your beauty.”
She threw her head back and laughed, a sound that he had not heard in many years, one which rang into his soul. “Oh, James,” she said as she walked toward him at such a pace he wondered if he would be old and gray before she arrived, “will you torture me so for the next weeks with such charm?”
His heart raced. This was the girl he remembered, the one who was happy, who enjoyed the smallest of things, and who teased him relentlessly. Her smile was bright and her eyes held a promise of something he could not quite recognize, yet he hoped with all his might that it was the love she once had for him. His arms had a mind of their own as they rose, ready to take her into his arms with a loving embrace, never to let go.
Her movements were almost provocative, her hips swaying, her fingertips twisting a strand of straw, the tiny smile playing on her lips. Lips he wanted to kiss so desperately at that moment, he could think of nothing more.
“For a man who wants to win my heart, I must say I was surprised you did not come calling these past few days,” she said as she walked past him without so much as a glance at his open arms.
His heart fell as he lowered his arms. Did she see him as a toy with which to play? But no, she knew nothing of courting or winning over a man. Perhaps it was his desire for her that made him see that which was not there.
He followed her out the stable door, stumbling over a stone which lay in the path. Her laughter caused his face to heat up. He had made a fool of himself, just as she had said, not once, but twice in the past few minutes, and it was a feeling to which he was not accustomed. He cleared his throat and pulled at his coat, not to straighten it but rather to ease the nervousness he was feeling. He felt very much that boy who stood before her in this very garden so many years before, only this time he knew his true feelings for her.
“I have pressing business matters that needed attending to,” he said. “If you will excuse me.”
She stopped walking and turned toward him, the slightest of smiles on her lips. “Of course, such matters are only for men to discuss, am I correct in saying so?”
His jaw dropped. Had she overheard the conversation between him and her father? He wanted to tell her that he did not believe as her father did, but she spoke first.
“Just as I suspected.”
A sense of panic rushed over him and he reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could leave. He had to explain. Leaving her to believe he was so callous as to believe she was not intelligent enough to discuss business matters made him feel ill. “Please wait,” he said earnestly.
She glared down at his hand. “If you wish to force yourself upon me, I will have you know that Mildred can be here within a heartbeat to defend my honor.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, letting go of her wrist. “I have opened up many new trade lines in Scotland and I will be more than happy to tell you of all of them.”
She raised her eyebrows as she tapped her foot on the stone upon which he had stumbled.
“You see,” he continued, “the first I established in Edinburgh, and the man there…”
“I do not wish to hear of such things,” she said with a wave of her hand as she turned and continued her stroll down the garden path.
“I…I thought you were interested,” James stammered. How could this woman make his mind seem as if it were made of porridge?
She let out a frustrated sigh but said nothing.
James searched for the right words to say, fearing the quiet was giving her too much time to stew.
“Tell me about your trip back from India,” she said.
He had not expected the change in conversation, but he seized the opportunity. At least it was progress. “I have to admit that returning home was satisfying. I was excited to see my mother and be back at Buckthorn House. However, my greatest desire was to see you.”
She gave a quite unlady-like snort, which James chose to ignore.
“As for the actual journey, the first week the ocean was calm, the weather made for sailing.”
Sarah stopped and turned toward him. “Tell me what it is like floating upon the ocean,” she said, her eyes closing and her face looking much as James imagined would be found on an angel.
“The water is a deep blue, much like the sky. You can look in any direction you please and you will see nothing but the rolling waves topped with white crests. Sometimes, sea creatures will show themselves—whales, dolphins, sharks. It is truly a sight to see, its magnificence so wonderful there are no words I can use to do it justice. It is only something you would have to see for yourself to fully grasp.”
She opened her eyes and the serenity that had been there was now replaced by a sneer. “Something I would never be able to do if I marry you,” she said, her voice now angry. She turned and resumed her stroll, but the leisurely pace was now gone, her movements no longer flowing.
“Sarah,” James called out after her. The woman was the embodiment of all that frustrated him. She was a spoiled child who threw a tantrum whenever she felt things were not going her way. Although he found himself attracted to her adventurous nature, her constant changes in attitude made him want to tear his hair out. Well, it was high time he corrected her when she was wrong.
“You speak as if our marriage will be the end of all things,” he said as he hurried up next to her, “but it would only be the beginning. Will you not simply give us a chance? You have your mind set on what you will not have, you cannot see what you can have.”
“So, we can sail on an adventure?” She threw the words at him as if they were stones she wished to use to hurt him.
He paused for a moment. He
struggled to find the words to tell her that with all his business dealings increasing and growing, time away would be difficult, if not impossible.
“Again,” she said with a sigh, “you promise dreams only to crush them right in front of me. When will I see you next?”
“Tomorrow,” he mumbled.
She gave him a single nod and then hurried off, and this time he did not try to stop her. His attempt to win over this woman only seemed to push her away, and with time running out, James would have to come up with another plan to make her see how much he truly cared for her.
Chapter Sixteen
The gardens stood quiet, Sarah walking alone along the path, thankful to be out of the house. Greystone Estate was typically a pleasant place, on for which Sarah cared deeply; however, her mother’s incessant demands to discuss the preparations for the upcoming wedding was driving Sarah mad. The gardens had provided solace since she was a child, that is, until James ruined its tranquility with his vicious behavior that day long ago. Luckily for him, the evil of his actions passed into the universe and her sanctuary returned to its previous state with only a small blemish left in its wake. Through the travesty of that day, Sarah had found the courage to press on in life and not allow his evil ways to ruin her or her lovely gardens.
Sarah stood in front of the rose bush which had produced the flower on which James had stomped all those years ago. Presenting him with the most perfect rose she could find had been her way of expressing how she felt for him, and she had been devastated that he would crush her dreams in such a profound way. She had only been a child then, just three and ten, but as a child, his actions had horrified her and left her feeling belittled and unloved. For so long, whenever reminded of the events that had transpired, anger reared its ugly head. However, now as an adult, she looked upon that day so long ago and realized that their quarrel had been petty and childish. Now that James was here, and with the progress he had made to better himself, those feelings of bitterness had begun to wane. The ability to speak her mind rather than use an inanimate object to express her feelings had also helped immensely.
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