by Louise Hall
When she was fully dressed, she turned to face Kian. “It just feels like everything is moving too fast. I’m not ready for it. Mum’s selling the house. You’re thinking about maybe retiring.”
“Like I said to Julian, I haven’t decided anything yet. We’ll talk about it as a family at the end of the season.”
“At least admit that you’re thinking about it?”
Kian climbed into bed, “of course I’m thinking about it. Since I’ve had the vasectomy and we know for sure that we’re not going to have any more children. Lola, Mats and Sierra, they are growing up so fast. I’ve missed so much with them over the years.”
Cate curled up on her side, facing him. She still found it difficult to think that she’d never have another child, even with the prenatal depression, that she would never be pregnant again. “It almost sounds like you’ve made your mind up.”
Kian shook his head, “I haven’t. Maybe it would be easier if I got injured…”
“Don’t say that,” Cate pressed her finger to his lips.
Kian kissed the tip of her finger. “It would just make it easier, that’s all. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing to do; it’s still going to be tough making the decision. It’s like your mum selling the house. The only thing I’ve ever known since I was a little boy is football. I guess if I could write the script, Seattle F.C. would win the MLS Cup at the end of the season and then maybe I could walk away from it knowing that I’d achieved everything I set out to in the game.”
“You know I’ll support you one hundred percent whatever you decide, right?” Cate rolled over on to her back. “Ugh, I so nearly corrected Liv tonight. We conceived four children not three.” She pressed her hand against her flat stomach. “It should be easy to make the right decision, shouldn’t it?”
Kian pressed the palm of his hand over hers. “Do you regret it?”
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, “sometimes.”
Kian gathered her up in his arms, “angel.”
“I just…” Cate’s voice cracked. “I don’t want things to change. I want Mum to still live in that house, I want you to play football and I want to know that…” She almost couldn’t get the words out. “I want to know that we could still have another child if we wanted to.”
“But we agreed…”
“I know we did. But I’m not like you, Kian. I can’t look at my F.A. Cup winner’s medal and my countless England caps. I don’t regret my children, not even for a second but all I’ve done since I was eighteen is be a mum.”
“That’s not true,” Kian said. “What about your first-class Psychology degree, 33 Rocks and Stepping Out?”
CHAPTER 23
As she drove home from the gym late on Wednesday night, Cate was panicking. They only had one more day to rehearse before they flew to L.A. early on Friday morning and the Rumba was still missing that spark. It wasn’t Declan’s fault; his choreography was beautiful as always. Cate knew it was solely down to her but how do you perform a sensual dance of seduction when you don’t feel womanly and sexy? As her feet caressed the floor, she kept thinking about how her legs looked like toothpicks. There’s nothing remotely sexy about a freaking toothpick.
The worst was the Rumba drop which involved Declan holding her by the waist while she bent backwards, her arms stretching gracefully above her head so her fingers brushed against the floor. It exposed all the parts of her that just weren’t seductive anymore. Surely Declan must be able to feel the jut of her hipbones. As her torso arched above the floor, her breasts felt even smaller.
Stepping Out didn’t feel like a dance competition, it felt more like an invasive therapy session.
Kian was just finishing the washing up when she got home. “Lola’s having a sleepover at Alice’s, Mats and Sierra are asleep and you just missed Nate, he’s gone to the gym.”
Cate sat at the kitchen counter with her head in her hands.
“What’s wrong?” Kian asked, tossing the tea towel over his shoulder.
Cate waved him away, “it’s nothing. It’s just that the song that we’re dancing to this week – “Lost” by Michael Buble – it makes me think about how I felt when I was pregnant with Sierra. There’s a line in the song, I hardly recognised the girl you are today. I might not be pregnant but I still feel like that. I’m scared that my depression is coming back.”
Kian wrapped Cate up in his arms, “what does Dr Chen say?” Dr Chen was Cate’s therapist.
“I haven’t seen her since I started doing Stepping Out. There just hasn’t been the time.”
Kian reached for her wrists and led her upstairs to their bedroom. “I’m coming to the studio on Saturday night.”
Cate twisted away from him, “you can’t. I don’t want you to see me like that. I look ridiculous.”
“You’re dancing the Rumba, angel. You’re going to look a thousand things but ridiculous definitely isn’t one of them.”
“How can you even say that?” Cate removed her t-shirt. “Look at me, Kian. I’ve lost weight. I’m not sexy anymore.”
“If that’s what you really think,” Kian growled, “then it’s time I put a stop to all this nonsense.”
He powered Cate back against the wall and pinned her arms above her head. “Kian?”
“I’ve held back all these weeks, angel because you were hurt and scared.”
“You shouldn’t want me.”
“You’re my wife,” Kian said possessively, his breath fanning across her lips. He ground his hips against hers. “I will always want you.”
He brought her arms down around his neck, his hands free to slide into the depths of her inky-black hair and grip her bottom. Kian took her mouth in a searing hot kiss which burned away all of her doubts and insecurities until all she was left with was desperate, clawing desire. She lifted up her jeans-clad thigh and wrapped it around his waist, drawing him even closer.
Kian broke away for a second, panting. “I’m going to make love to you tonight, angel.”
He deftly unfastened her bra and dropped it on the floor. “They’re too small.”
Kian swept Cate up into his arms and carried her across to the bed. He pulled back the covers and laid her down in the centre, her black hair spilling out across the white sheets. He unzipped her jeans and tugged them down her legs. She was bare apart from her white lace panties. “I want to touch you,” Cate protested.
“Not yet,” Kian chuckled, removing his own t-shirt. Her breasts swayed as she struggled to catch her breath; her nipples slowly unfurling for him.
He kicked off his jeans and boxer shorts. Cate still marvelled at the beauty of his manhood - it stood thick and proud against his stomach, slightly darker than the rest of his skin.
Kian teased her panties down her quivering thighs. The contrast of that strip of black hair against her pale skin got him every fucking time. He put his hands on her thighs and pushed them apart so he could have a perfect view of her creamy slit.
Cate blushed, “please.” The heat of his intense gaze was burning her intimate flesh.
Kian climbed over her, his cock pressing against her inner thigh. She was already trembling for him. It had been too long but he wasn’t going to rush this. He stroked her hair away from her face and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. Her breasts brushed against his chest.
“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” Kian wanted her to believe him.
“Don’t lie to me,” Cate croaked.
“Never,” Kian kissed along her jawline, his hands stilling her writhing hips. He kissed down her neck, intoxicated by his second favourite scent; her blackberry shampoo. Her hands tightened against his shoulders.
Kian reached up a hand and cupped her breast. “They’re…” Cate stopped as he tugged on her tender nipple. “Oh, that feels so good.”
“They’re perfect,” Kian grinned. He took her throbbing nipple into the wet heat of his mouth. Cate tangled her fingers up in his hair, arching upwards.
His hand trailed down to her hip and then between her legs. “Oh,” Cate bucked underneath him as his fingers found her molten core.
How could she ever think that she wasn’t sexy?
As he brought her to climax, he nudged her thighs further apart and took her with a deep, penetrating thrust. “Oh,” she cried, tightly gripping his cock inside her wet heat.
Kian kissed her, swallowing her cries of pleasure, as his lips and tongue mimicked what his cock was doing between her legs. He slid his hand down her side to the curve of her bottom and up her quivering thigh, bringing her legs up high around his torso. He ached for that feeling of total possession, their bodies were so tightly fused together that he didn’t know where he ended and she began.
He was so thick and so deep, it bordered on painful but Cate clung to him fiercely not wanting even a millimetre of retreat. He was touching every inch of her vagina. “Thank you,” Cate gasped, her hands sliding down his back to grip his tightly clenched buttocks.
She’d been scared of doing this again, scared that it had been forever tainted by the sex tape. Although it might be the same physical act, the same insertion of one body part into another, this wasn’t just cheap pornography. It transcended that, it was a physical expression of their love. Kian had been right, this right here was how they fought, it was how they made up, it was how they affirmed their love for each other. It was an integral part of their marriage.
Afterwards, Kian rolled on to his back; draping Cate on top of him, between his parted thighs. She looked up at him, looking deliciously fucked. Her eyes were still a little unfocused and her cheeks were flushed the most perfect shade of pink. He brushed her inky-black hair away from her damp forehead. Her lips were a little bruised from his demanding kisses.
“I already want you again.”
Cate laughed, her nipples rubbing against his chest. “Kian!”
“I’m serious,” Kian caressed her bare bottom. Cate felt him stiffen against her stomach. “You’re my addiction.”
He slid his hand between her legs and began to rub. “Mm,” Cate shifted, “that feels too good.”
“It might be Declan who’s with you on the dance floor on Saturday night,” Kian said, slipping a finger inside her, “but I want you to dance that Rumba for me.”
“I don’t know if I can…”
Kian reached for her hand and slid it between them, wrapping it around his hard cock. “You still doubt that you’re seductive, angel?”
He nibbled her earlobe, “my cock is that hard because of you.”
Kian flipped Cate over on to her front. “What are you doing?” Cate asked as he brushed her hair to one side and kissed the nape of her neck. “You still need reminding of how sexy you are. I’m more than happy to oblige.”
He stroked his hands down her back, making her wiggle her hips. “Stay still.”
“It’s impossible when you touch me like that.”
When Cate looked back at him, he had a mischievous glint in his eye. “Are you talking back to me, angel?”
Cate laughed, “I might be.”
Kian’s skilful fingers caressed her buttocks until it felt like stars were bursting under her skin. She wiggled her hips again. There was a rush of air and then, “ow!”
Kian pressed the palm of his hand against her heated buttock. “Is that a good ow?”
The brief instant of pain had quickly been replaced by such intense warmth. “Yes, it’s good.”
Kian spanked Cate a couple more times, watching her bottom turn a lovely pink colour. He dipped his hand between her legs; her liquid heat coated his fingers.
He stretched above her, the raw strength of his body pushing her into the mattress. Kian gathered her silky hair in a ponytail and wrapped it around his wrist, tugging her head back so he could have full access to those soft, cushiony lips. “Kian!” Cate cried as he took her again.
Kian always knew just what she needed. They’d broken down the first barrier by making love tonight but their relationship wasn’t just about slow and gentle.
As Kian entered her, Cate felt a bruising pain in her scalp and neck. His free hand was on her tender bottom, gripping her tightly with each darkly possessive thrust between her legs. Her aching nipples dragged deliciously against the cotton sheets. She liked the light and dark equally.
In the darkness of their bedroom, she liked being so thoroughly controlled by Kian.
“Fuck,” Kian’s thrusts became harder and more uneven. He was losing control and it made Cate dizzy with lust to know that she was the one doing that to him. She felt blissfully like a woman again. He slid a hand under her torso and played with her nipples. She felt his balls tighten against her sex and he dropped his hand between her legs, rubbing her. Cate felt his harsh gasps against the back of her neck. It might seem strange, given that his hard body was pinning her to the mattress, her bottom was pink and her hair was wrapped around his wrist but she was struck by what a gentleman he was. His cock was painfully hard but he was holding back. He might enjoy spanking her but he always made sure that she came first.
When Kian came back from the bathroom, Cate was still lying on her front, completely sated. “It turns me on to see your ass like that, angel.” Kian gently cleaned between her legs.
Cate slowly turned her head to face him, her neck was still a little sore. “As long as it doesn’t still look like that for my dress fitting on Friday morning. I dread to think what Hope would say.”
CHAPTER 24
Cate woke up in her L.A. hotel room on Saturday morning to the sound of somebody knocking on the door. Wondering who it could be, she folded her arms across her chest (she wasn’t wearing a bra) and walked to the door. She hadn’t ordered breakfast. She peeled back the plaster she’d covered the peephole with and then quickly flung open the door. “What are you doing here?”
Kian wasn’t supposed to arrive until later that afternoon. “I got an earlier flight,” he grinned, sweeping Cate up in his arms and carrying her back into the bedroom. “I wanted to give you something before the show tonight.”
“OK,” Cate looked at him curiously.
They were interrupted by her cell-phone ringing. She had to check in case it was Nate calling about the children. It was Ruby. Cate looked across at Kian.
“Answer it,” Kian dropped his overnight bag on the carpet. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”
Cate sat down on the bed. “Hey Rubes, what’s up?”
“I booked my ticket last night,” Ruby squealed, almost piercing Cate’s eardrum. “I’m coming to Seattle.”
“That’s fantastic,” Cate was so excited that she was going to see her half-sister again, especially after everything that they’d been through in the last month. “You know there’s going to be a tug of war with Liv about who you stay with, right?”
“I know,” Ruby said happily. “I can’t freaking wait!”
When Kian walked back into the bedroom, Cate had a huge grin on her face. “Ruby’s coming to Seattle,” she explained. “She’s booked her flight for a week on Monday.”
“That’s great,” Kian said. “Is Nico coming with her?”
Cate shook her head, “I think they’re having some problems. He didn’t agree with her decision not to press charges against Emily.”
“That’s too bad. Maybe this break will do them both some good. Are you ready for your present now?”
“I’m ready,” Cate giggled. She felt so light and happy. She closed her eyes and held out her hands.
Kian chuckled, “it’s not that kind of present, angel. Take off your shorts and bend over the bed.”
Cate raised her eyebrows, “really?”
When she realised Kian was being serious, she pushed down her shorts, stepped out of them and bent over the bed. The air-conditioning was on full and her bare skin was full of goose bumps.
“No peeking,” Kian warned, prowling towards her. He put his hands on her buttocks. Regretfully, there was nothing left to show that she’d been spank
ed on Wednesday night.
He took something out of the back pocket of his jeans. Cate thought she heard him unscrew the lid off something. “I don’t need any lotion. It’s gone back to normal.”
Kian smirked, “this isn’t lotion, angel.”
She heard a clank as he put something down on the table and then his hands were on her again, parting the cheeks of her bottom.
Cate took a deep breath; she really wished that she could see what he was doing. “Oh,” she gasped as his thumb gently pressed against her anus.
As it pushed deeper, breaching her hole, she realised that it wasn’t his thumb. It felt hard and slippery. Kian placed his hand firmly on the small of her back as he worked whatever it was inside her bottom. At first, she didn’t know if she liked it. It felt foreign.
When the jewelled butt plug was firmly ensconced inside Cate’s bottom, Kian stood back and appreciated the view. The purple jewel glistened seductively between her buttocks.
“You can stand up now.” Kian wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her to her feet.
Cate turned around and looked at herself in the mirror. “What is it?”
She saw the familiar purple jewel peeking out from inside her bottom. “That’s my present?”
“I thought you might like something familiar,” Kian stroked his thumb over the twinkling jewel. He’d bought it when he’d whisked Cate away for a very dirty weekend in Brighton after she’d finished her final exams at university. It was the same weekend that they’d conceived Mateo.
Cate bent down to pick up her shorts, “every time I move, I can feel it.”
“That’s kind of the point, angel. When you’re doing the Rumba tonight, I want you only thinking about me.”
Cate looked shocked, “you want me to wear this on the show tonight?”
Kian’s eyes were fiery with lust, “I want you to wear it all day. I’ll decide when I take it out.”