by Louise Hall
She rubbed her side; she missed him and the children so much that it felt like a real, physical ache. She knew it was silly because she’d only seen them just over an hour ago when they’d dropped her off at the airport. This trip definitely felt worse than all the others, perhaps because she knew that it was going to be the last one. After tomorrow night, like Cinderella on the stroke of midnight, she would go back to being a full-time mum and wife. It felt dreadfully anti-feminist but she was really looking forward to it.
As she went through security, she was asked to step to the side so that they could perform a random search of her luggage. Cate felt sorry for Otis, the macho TSA agent because when he removed his large hand from inside the front pocket of her case, it was absolutely covered in purple glitter. Lola and Mateo had made her a good luck card and Cate suspected that they’d used a full tube of glitter decorating it.
“Is it a special trip today?” Otis asked Cate.
“You could say that,” Cate bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing. He furiously scrubbed at his hand with anti-bacterial wipes but the glitter was stubbornly clinging to his skin.
“Could I maybe try?” Cate offered. With three young children, she’d become something of an expert at getting rid of stubborn marks. He definitely couldn’t walk around covered in glitter all day. If there was one person you should definitely take seriously at an airport, it was a TSA agent. Cate retrieved a tiny bottle of peppermint hand wash from the clear plastic bag and tried to do her bit for Homeland Security.
While she carefully removed every trace of glitter from Otis’ warm, caramel skin, he asked her more about her special trip to L.A. and she confessed that she was one of the finalists of Stepping Out. “Shut up!” Otis grinned. “My wife absolutely loves that show. Wait a second,” he narrowed his eyes, “you’re not Cate Warner by any chance, are you?”
“Um, yes?” Cate blushed. It still felt weird to be recognised for anything other than being Kian’s wife.
“We’re not allowed to take selfies but my wife will never forgive me if she finds out that I met you and I didn’t at least ask for your autograph.”
“Of course,” Cate was incredibly flattered. She found an old receipt in her coat pocket. “What’s your wife’s name?”
“Lola,” Otis replied.
“That’s my daughter’s name,” Cate smiled. She dropped the autograph into the now empty plastic tray, trying to be surreptitious so Otis didn’t get into trouble with his bosses.
“You’re good to go,” Otis smiled, slipping the receipt into his shirt pocket. “I wish you the best of luck for tomorrow night.”
Still feeling warm and fuzzy, Cate stopped in front of the departure boards so that she could double check which gate her flight would be departing from this morning. She felt somebody snake their arm through hers and quickly whirled around, ready to fend off her would be attacker. It was Liv.
“What are you doing here?” Cate yelped, her heart kicking frantically out of her chest. “You gave me such a fright.”
“It’s good to see you too, sis,” Liv stuck out her tongue. “I’m coming to L.A. with you.”
“But…” Cate had thought that only Kian would be in the Stepping Out audience tomorrow night.
“You’re in the freaking final, sis,” Liv laughed, “of course I’m going to be there to support you.”
Cate gave her sister a big hug, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
As they walked towards the newsstand – Liv had a craving for birthday cake M&Ms – Liv’s phone rang. “It’s Jax,” Liv looked at the screen, “I’d better take this. He’s probably freaking out because Sofia sneezed or something.” It was the first time Jax had been left on his own with Sofia for more than a couple of minutes.
“Everything OK?” Cate asked Liv after she’d paid for the M&Ms.
Liv shrugged, “any money says that he’ll have decamped to your house by the time I get back on Sunday night.”
“You must be missing them though,” Cate shivered, “ugh, I remember the first time I tried to leave Lola with Kian’s mum. I got as far as the end of the road before I made Kian turn back.”
Liv adjusted her jumper, “my boobs definitely miss them. I pumped before I left the house this morning but they already feel like cow’s udders again.”
“Will you stop groping yourself!” Cate yelped as Liv massaged her aching breasts. “We’re in public.”
“Is that…?” Liv’s hands dropped to her sides. “She’s leaving already?”
Cate followed her sister’s gaze. Ruby was sat in the far corner of the café. She was hunched over the metal table, her inky-black hair almost completely obscuring her face.
“So that’s it?” Liv yelled angrily, weaving through the tables. Cate winced as she felt the other patrons turn around and gawp at them. “You’re not even going to say goodbye? What the hell, Ruby! We’re your sisters.”
“Will you keep your voice down,” Ruby hissed. “You don’t get to be angry about me leaving. You kicked me out of the house, remember?”
“I did not kick you out,” Liv said angrily. “You were the one who decided that whoring around with Declan was more important to you than your family.”
While Liv and Ruby glared at each other, Cate looked at the plane ticket on the table. Ruby wasn’t flying back to London. “You’re unbelievable,” Cate struggled to keep her voice low. “You’re going after him, aren’t you?” The ticket was to Shannon in Ireland.
“Just leave me alone,” Ruby flushed. She quickly stuffed the ticket back in her handbag, as if she was afraid that either Cate or Liv would rip it up into tiny, little pieces. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Yeah?” Cate snapped. “I understand that he’s married.”
Ruby shook her head, “I know that. You have no idea how much I wish that he wasn’t.”
“Nothing good can come of this,” Cate sank down into the metal chair across from Ruby. It was such a mess. “You’re just going to end up hurt and alone.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Ruby picked at the half-eaten bagel with salmon and cream cheese in front of her. “I love him.”
“What?” Liv spluttered. “You’ve only known him for five minutes?”
“You can’t put a time limit on falling in love,” Ruby defensively jutted out her chin. “I love him and he loves me.”
“Yeah, did he tell you that before or after he got inside your knickers?” Liv snarled.
Cate took a softer approach, “if he loves you so much, why has he gone back to Hadley?”
Ruby winced at the mention of Declan’s wife. “He said he needed to talk to her face-to-face.”
Cate suddenly understood what her mum had meant all those years ago; love, or the illusion of it, could make even the smartest people act like complete fools.
“I know you’re sensitive about this stuff because of what Kian did but Declan isn’t Kian and I’m not Jenna. I’m not breaking up a happy marriage. It’s been broken for a long time. They’ve been together since they were teenagers and it’s like, when you’re together that long, everybody just assumes that eventually you’re going to get married and have children. It’s comfortable and safe and you think that’s all there is so you don’t question it and then…” She smiled brightly. “You meet somebody else and you realise that all the time you thought you were in love, you were wrong. Because the love you feel for this new person is so much bigger and brighter.”
Cate didn’t know whether she wanted to hug or slap Ruby. She could tell that her sister genuinely believed every word that she was saying. Cate almost wished for Ruby’s sake that it was true; that she could somehow gloss over all the glaring inconsistencies. Declan had told her so many times how eager he was, after Stepping Out had finished, to get home to Ireland so he could start making babies with Hadley. If their marriage was really as broken as Ruby said it was, why would he bother saying all those things to Cate? It wasn’t as if he’d only said them when
the cameras were rolling so he could make himself look good on TV, it was often when they were alone in the chilly studio.
“If he wasn’t happy,” Liv asked, “why didn’t he get a divorce?”
“It’s not as simple as that,” Ruby insisted. “His wife, she’s very fragile – I know he told you about her drug problems…”
Cate was outraged, “her brother killed himself! Being messed up after something like that doesn’t make you weak and fragile, it makes you freaking human.”
Ruby was momentarily shocked, as if Declan hadn’t perhaps told her everything about his marriage but she quickly regained her composure. “It doesn’t matter anyway.” She got up from the table and slung her handbag over her shoulder. “He’s going to get a divorce now and we’re going to be together.”
“Don’t go,” Liv pleaded. She tried to reach for Ruby’s hand but she shrugged her away. “Come to L.A. with us and we can talk some more.”
Ruby shook her head, “there’s nothing to talk about. Just because we’ve got the same biological father doesn’t give either of you the right to tell me who I can and can’t fall in love with. I’ve spent most of my life as an only child…”
“Surprise,” Cate turned around to find her older brother, Ben.
“What the…?”
“I’m going to miss my flight,” Ruby said, trying to sneak away while they were distracted by their brother’s arrival.
“You’re leaving?” Ben looked confused. “What did I miss?”
“I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to fill you in,” Ruby jerked her head towards Cate and Liv.
“Is somebody going to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Ben demanded, taking Ruby’s chair at the small metal table.
“I think we just lost our sister to the dark side,” Liv frowned.
“Can you be a little less cryptic?” Ben asked. “I’m seriously jet-lagged here.”
“Speaking of which,” Cate asked, “what are you doing here?”
“My sister’s in the final of Stepping Out. I’m here to support you, dummy.”
“Really?” Cate was stunned. “I can’t believe that you flew all this way for me?”
“Well,” Ben grinned, “you and the MLS play-offs. Kian promised me box seats.”
Cate rolled her eyes, “Kian knew about this?”
“Duh,” Liv laughed, “who do you think made all the arrangements? Remy was supposed to come too but Rocco’s just had his appendix removed.”
“What about Erin and Oliver?”
“They are both still at the hotel. We flew in yesterday afternoon.”
“You’re family,” Cate was horrified, “you can’t stay at a hotel.”
“Don’t freak out. It’s all sorted,” Liv put her hand over Cate’s. “The only reason they stayed at a hotel last night was because we didn’t want to ruin the big surprise. They are going to stay with me and Jax for the first week while you recover from Stepping Out and then you and Kian for the second week.”
“Mm,” Cate gave her brother a big bear hug, which she knew would make him super uncomfortable. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“OK,” Ben said, trying to fend her off, “I get it. There’s no need to maul me.”
“Yay,” Liv giggled, quickly joining in the hug. “Sister Sandwich.”
“Get off me,” Ben mock-complained. “Right now.”
CHAPTER 41
“I can’t believe she just left,” Ben shook his head wearily after Cate and Liv had finished telling him what had happened at the airport with Ruby.
“She really believes that they are in love,” Liv said sadly.
Cate settled back against the leather seat. Guillermo had been there to meet them when they’d arrived in L.A. and they were in the car travelling from the airport to the studio.
“I want to be angry with her. I mean, she knew Declan was married and yet she still slept with him. For me, that’s unforgivable. But after hearing her talk about him this morning… Liv’s right, she truly believes that she and Declan are in love and are going to live happily ever after. I don’t know why Declan had an affair with Ruby but I’ve seen the way his eyes light up when he talks about Hadley and their close-knit Catholic families. He’s never going to leave his wife for her.”
“We’re her siblings,” Liv said. “I feel like we should have done more to stop her leaving. Cate’s right, this affair with Declan is only going to end in heartbreak for Ruby.”
“I get that,” Ben frowned, “but realistically what could we have done? She’s a grown-ass woman.”
“I feel like I owe you an apology,” Cate turned to Ben. “When Kian…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. Ben nodded in acknowledgement. “When I found out that you’d known all about what happened at the World Cup and you hadn’t told me, I was so angry with you. Even when I began to forgive Kian, I still couldn’t bring myself to forgive you. But that wasn’t fair of me.”
“When I first found out about Declan and Ruby, I was so tempted to call Hadley and tell her the truth. I felt like it was my duty since she’d been inducted into the not-so-exclusive Betrayed Wives’ Club. I didn’t want her to feel like I did when I walked into that Christmas Eve party – it felt like everybody was staring at me and whispering behind my back.”
Liv gave Cate’s hand a squeeze. Cate would be forever grateful that her sister was one of the few members of her family who hadn’t helped Kian try to cover up his indiscretion.
“But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it wasn’t up to me to tell Hadley what Declan had done. It was his responsibility; he was the one who’d broken their vows.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered who’d told me that Kian had cheated on me at the World Cup; I still wouldn’t have thanked them for doing so. You might be my brother but you weren’t there when Kian and I took our vows in that quiet chapel in Las Vegas. Kian was. He was the one who should have told me what he’d done as soon as he came back from the World Cup. But he didn’t and that put you in an impossible situation. I’m sorry that I punished you for doing what you thought was best for me.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Ben shrugged.
“The trouble with Ruby is that she’s never wanted something that she can’t have before,” Liv mused. “She might be our sister but we haven’t had the same life experiences. While the four of us and Mum lived in a cramped two-bedroom student flat in Withington, Ruby grew up in that big house on the hill in Calder Harbour with two parents. If we were really lucky, we went on camping trips to North Wales while Ruby’s parents took her to Disney World to meet Mickey freaking Mouse.”
“That doesn’t excuse what she did,” Cate said defensively, thinking about her children. “You can have great privilege and still have morals; the two things aren’t exclusive.”
“I know and I’m not saying this because I’m jealous of Ruby. I can guarantee you one hundred percent that I’m not. After finally meeting the cold-hearted bastard that is unfortunately our biological father, I’m thankful every day that he left us when he did. All I’m saying is that growing up like that, pampered and spoiled; it doesn’t prepare you for the real world. If your daddy always fixes everything, how are you supposed to learn that your actions have consequences?”
“We’re here, Mrs Warner,” Guillermo said, lowering the privacy screen. After he’d dropped Cate off at the studios for her costume fitting and band rehearsal, he was going to take Liv and Ben to their hotel.
“Thank you,” Cate smiled warmly. “But please call me Cate. Mrs Warner is my lovely mother-in-law, Jean.”
She gave her brother and sister big hugs before stepping out into the warm L.A. sunshine. “Did you get your tickets for tomorrow night’s show?” Cate asked Guillermo. He had to work that night but she’d arranged two tickets for his wife and daughter to attend the grand finale.
“I did,” Guillermo nodded. “You’re too kind.”
“Nonsense,” Cate shook her head. She
was really going to miss him when Stepping Out was finally over in about thirty six hours.
When she walked into Wardrobe, the normally unflappable Hope was looking stressed. “Is everything OK?” Cate asked.
“Too much to do,” Hope grabbed Cate’s wrist and quickly pulled her behind the curtain. Backstage was busier than it had been in weeks with all of this year’s contestants and their professional partners returning for one last group dance. It was really nice to see everybody again but they didn’t have time to properly catch up because they were all being pulled in a hundred different directions.
After her costume fitting, Cate was taken straight to Ludmila’s lair for her last ever spray-tan.
As she tugged on her clothes, trying not to gag at the strong smell of biscuits emanating from her strangely-coloured skin, she checked her phone and Annie had texted her.
“After band rehearsal, meet me by the supply closet, I’ve got something I want to show you.”
“Is everybody decent?” Greg, one of the runners asked, poking his head around the door. He had his fingers over his eyes.
“Yep,” Cate laughed, “we’re done here.”
“Excellent, we need to get you to the main stage then. It’s time for your band rehearsal.”
Cate and Vladimir had been allotted an hour in the main studio so they could practice the dances they would be performing on Saturday night for the first time with the live band. Although there were lots of crew milling about, checking the lighting and camera positions, it was strange doing their routines in front of a mostly empty studio. It felt so much smaller without the audience being there.
Cate craned her neck, “where’s Alyssa?”
Vladimir jerked his hand towards where the judges normally sat during the show. Alyssa was sat cross-legged on the desk, filming them with a small camcorder. “It will help me determine if I need to make any last-minute adjustments to our routines.” Cate gulped; she was already terrified that she’d forget the choreography Vladimir and Alyssa had relentlessly drummed into her all week.