“No kidding! What’s going down, Hank? God doing that Lazarus thing?” Eddy tried to make a joke. But Henry didn’t know how to respond and so he said, “We’re still trying to sort it all out… and did you hear that Peter was very sick, too? This sounds crazy, but he also died and was brought back to life…”
There was a long silence. “Geez, Hank, something’s happening here. I spoke with Peter about three months ago and he was sure hurting over what he had done to Jenny. He would do anything to see Jenny and…I would too, man”
There was another long silence. “Well, we are going to meet with Peter and his family in the next few weeks and try to straighten things out, but…did you just say you would like to see Jenny, as well?”
“Yeah…It’s always bothered me, too, what me and the boys did that night to you and her. I think an…geez, this cough is annoying. Give me a sec. I’ll light up. Seems to help for some crazy reason…” Henry heard the snap of a lighter and then click as Eddy closed it. Henry could visualize every movement Eddy was making.
Eddy blew out and then continued, “Yeah, as I was saying Hank, an apology from me is in order as well. Is she still in town?”
Henry could hardly believe his ears. All he could think of was God’s divine providence at work. “Yes, she is, Eddy. As a matter of fact I’m hoping that we will get married…there are a few hurdles we have to meet, but I’m optimistic.”
“That’s cool, man. Well, tell her…” Eddy stopped to cough and clear his throat and continued, “yeah, tell her I would sure like to meet with her, perhaps introduce her to the missus…maybe go out for dinner, the four of us. What do you say, Hank?”
“That sounds great, Eddy. Let me take down your phone number where I can reach you and I’ll set something up. This is unbelievable Eddy,” Henry said again, as he copied down the number. Just before he hung up he added, “Check into that cough, Eddy, doesn’t sound good.”
Hello, Hank, this is Angelika, Peter’s wife, Angie.”
“Hello, Angelika, it’s good to hear from you. I was planning to call Peter.”
“I hope it’s to tell us that Jenny is okay and that she will see Peter.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I was going to call about. All three of us plan to fly to Calgary in the next two weeks…that is, myself, Jenny and her daughter, Camilla.”
“Oh, Hank, that is such good news! Peter is so worried that his healing may have been in vain. Lately, he seems to be getting ill again. I told him to call you, but he didn’t want to be a nuisance and he wants forgiveness to be given freely and not forced. I decided to take it upon myself to call…this makes me so happy that the three of you are coming. Do you have an exact date in mind yet?”
“No, Angie, we are still working on it. Jenny is free to go at any time, but Camilla is working and will have to arrange some time off.”
“We will be happy to share some of the expenses if need be.”
“No, that’s fine, Angelika.”
There was a momentary silence on the phone and then Angie spoke softly, “We have been praying that Jenny and her daughter will forgive my husband, I so hope that is her heart’s intention. Is there anything I can say to her beforehand? To explain how sorrowful Peter feels and what kind of man he is?”
“That will not be necessary, Angelika. Jenny is a very understanding person. I can’t say how she will respond to Peter…or, how Camilla will either. We’ll just have to see when we all meet.”
“Yes, it’s best to leave it up to the Lord. So, you will be calling and let us know when you will be coming?”
“Yes, I will let you know as soon as possible. Thank you for calling, Angie.”
Chapter Fifty Three
This was Father Knuka’s first break since Father Engelmann retired from St. Mary’s Parish. Another priest had come to help on a part time basis but fell ill and wasn’t able to assist Father Knuka for several months. Father Engelmann jumped at the request to look after the parish for three weeks while his dear friend went home to visit his family and mother who was also critically ill.
Henry could hardly wait to attend church nor could he wait to pick up Jenny. The service would be special not only having Jenny there, but also to see Father Engelmann at the pulpit again. It would be like old times. Henry knew what the topic of today’s sermon was going to be about. Father had asked Jenny if she would share with the parishioners the days leading up to her death. Father was profoundly touched by what she had said on the deck in front of the prayer house last week and felt it would also touch the hearts of the people at St. Mary’s Church as well.
As Henry neared Jenny’s home, his heart began to flutter in anticipation of seeing his loved one. It reminded him of the days when he first met Jenny in the neighborhood. Some days he just couldn’t wait another moment and dashed to her place as soon as dinner was over. He loved it when she was out sitting on the steps waiting for him. Her warm smile and sparkling eyes greeting him; melting his heart.
Jenny must have read his thoughts, because as he pulled up to her house, there she was sitting on the landing. He thought for sure his heart would burst. The same thoughts that had entered his mind back then seemed to return now. An angel, he thought, she looked like an angel with her blond hair glistening gold in the bright morning sun and her smooth skin shimmering in the warm light. For a moment Henry envisioned himself parking his red bike in front of the yard, rather than bringing his SUV to a stop. Henry waved as he got out of the truck and made his way up the winding sidewalk. He wanted to say ‘hi’, but his mind was so transfixed by Jenny’s smile and sparkling blue eyes, he was speechless. He was mesmerized and lost in a world of love. Love — what a wonderful gift the good Lord gave mankind.
Jenny’s right hand was near her chest and Henry could see part of the pewter angel sticking out of her closed fist. Instinctively he raised his right hand and clutched the fluttering angel hanging from a chain around his neck as well. Henry let the angel fall and dangle at the end of chain. He reached out both hands as he stood in front of his dearly beloved and took hold of both of her hands and lifted her up to her feet. She let go and swung both her arms around Henry’s neck and within seconds their lips met and both were lost in a world only lovers would understand. Henry’s heart exploded with such a rush of affection, he could no longer contain the joy welling up in his being. He picked Jenny up and twirled her round and round in an attempt to dissipate the surging feeling of ecstasy sweeping through him.
Slowly, he stopped and set Jenny once more on the walk. The scent of lilac perfume mingled with the fragrance of the flowers and herbs and sent Henry into oblivion. He shook his head from side to side and with all the heartfelt emotion he could put into words, he softly whispered, “Oh Jenny, I love you so much.”
Jenny was only able to respond in part before their lips met and their spirits soared.
As was his customary practice, Henry took Father’s parking space in the church parking lot near the rectory. He could never understand why no one else did. Everyone knew Father didn’t drive a car, but Henry was glad it worked out that way as the church was always packed. Today was no exception. Even though Henry and Jenny were early, the lot was filled and so were the streets for at least two blocks in either direction.
Since Jenny had come out of the hospital, she attended the church near her home, but as soon as they came near the parish, she recalled the times when she and her parents came to St. Mary’s Church. She had to hold back the tears as memories of her mom and dad crossed the screen of her mind. She had to admit that as a young teenager she never got that much out of Mass as her eyes were always searching for Henry.
“Oh Henry, I’m so excited to hear Father’s sermon. He is such a wonderful priest and his visits, when I was in the hospital, were so comforting. Just his presence seemed to fill the room with a healing balm.”
“I’m looking forward to your sharing too. You and Father will give a talk that the parishioners will never forget.”
“I am so nervous, I hope I don’t collapse.”
“If you do, it will be in my loving arms—”
“Hi Henry,” said one of the ushers as he and Jenny entered the foyer of the church. “We knew you were coming, Father requested that we save a seat for you right up front,” the attendant added with a wink.
“Thanks Mel, that’s very much appreciated.” Henry felt a little strange walking in with Jenny as Mel had always seen him with Julean. Even though the parish knew she had passed away, Henry always felt a sense of faithfulness to his first wife even though Jenny was his first love. Julean would always hold a special place in his heart.
Henry could see Mel staring at him and seemed to relax as Henry finally said, “By the way, Mel, this is Jenny Hamilton, a very special friend of mine.”
“Very pleased to meet you,” said the usher as he extended his hand.
“It’s so nice to meet you too, Mel. I can hardly wait to see Father and listen to his sermon. I am so happy you were able to save a pew for us up close.”
“Yeah, thanks again, Mel. Well, we better get in there. We’re kinda blocking the path.” Henry sidestepped to allow several parishioners to pass by and then they followed Mel to the front of the church.
After Henry and Jenny entered the pew, they both knelt down and made the sign of the cross almost in unison. Instinctively, Henry reached into his pocket and pulled out Julean’s rosary. He kissed the cross and began to pray. His eyes were closed as he always said the first Hail Mary in dedication to his wife. Julean and the Blessed Mother had such a close relationship.
For a moment there, he thought it was Julean whispering to him, but it was Jenny.
“What a beautiful rosary, Henry.”
Henry was momentarily startled out of his reverie… “Yes, it’s Julean’s” Henry whispered…his words died off. He wondered if Jenny would be upset with him for holding his first wife’s rosary and kissing it. He also noticed his wedding band on the finger that was also holding the rosary. Many times when they were together he tried to cover it up with his other hand. Perhaps they should talk about it. Jenny never seemed to mind and yet…
Henry turned towards her but Jenny remained silent. She reached over and squeezed his hand holding the rosary ever so softly. The gentle touch said what words couldn’t …It’s okay, Henry, I would always want you to love your precious wife.
No sooner had Jenny sat down when the door to sacristy opened and out came the altar boys followed by Father Engelmann wearing the biggest smile he could muster. Henry could see how much he loved to be back home in his parish. This was expressed by the parishioners as well as they all rose and no one could hold back from applauding their long time beloved shepherd. The clapping went on and on and finally Father raised his hands, gesturing it was time to begin the entrance song. The choir began a rousing rendition of City of God and the parishioners’ voices swelled with enthusiasm as they joined in the singing.
Henry was thrilled that they were right up front and could see the nuances on Father’s face. It was apparent his teacher was struggling hard to hold back the tears. Henry could feel that his dear mentor’s heart was filled with joy and gratitude.
Finally he opened his arms and welcomed everyone and all those visiting.
“My dear friends, I was so elated when Father Knuka called to ask if I would look after the parish for the next three Sundays while he went back home to the Maritimes for a long overdue visit. This was my home for so many years and I have to admit it still feels like home…”
Henry could see Father struggling for words and choking up at the same time. He just shrugged his shoulders as if to say, you know how much I love you, and began the Mass, ‘In the name of the Father and Son and Holy Spirit…”
Soon came the part everyone was waiting for; the reading of the Old Testament, Psalm, Epistle followed by Father reading the gospel for that Sunday and then his sermon. As usual, he asked the parishioners to pray that the Holy Spirit would speak the sermon. The congregation rose and raised their hands and began to pray with boldness. Ever since the day when Father Knuka stood in front of them and asked for the Holy Spirit to touch his heart as it did Father Engelmann’s, the Holy Spirit touched the hearts of the people there as well. Many parishioners, in such sympathy and empathy for Father Knuka that day, also received the gift of tongues as Father did. Henry could hear many speaking in tongues as the parishioners prayed.
“What a beautiful sound,” commented Jenny.
Henry couldn’t respond, the power of the Spirit filled the church and his spirit as well.
After everyone was seated, Father surveyed the congregation from one side to the other; his eyes inviting each and every one to listen to the Word. A hush fell over the church, the complete antithesis of the exuberant prayers moments ago. An anticipation for Father’s sermon was building; it was palpable. Like a flock of sheep, the parishioners yielded their senses to gather closely around their shepherd. The momentary silence waiting for Father to speak was…holy.
Chapter Fifty Four
Meine lieben kinder, today I want to talk about a subject that has been discussed down through the ages; suffering. Why is there suffering and pain? How can God allow war, sickness, rape, murder, adultery, loneliness and so many hardships? If God is just, why is there injustice? People on one side of the planet live in abundance and freedom, while on the other side, people are dying every second, of starvation, sickness and unthinkable atrocities. If God is merciful and good, how can He stand by and allow innocent children to suffer and die, while their parents look on in anguish? Or a man or woman lying in pain for days and months with some terminal disease; surely, an all powerful God could have created a more perfect world?
“These are questions to which there are no easy answers. They present deep struggles in our minds that have caused so many to turn away from their faith and question the very existence of God. To try and come up with some comforting answer that suffering is only temporary and happiness awaits us forever in the hereafter, is unacceptable in the midst of one’s pain or that of a loved one. They would be quick to suggest that you sleep in my bed or walk in my shoes for even one hour and the promise of some distant paradise to me is meaningless, along with the many other platitudes that try to offer comfort.
“Yes, we can sympathize with the sufferer or if it is us who are in pain, we can engage in self pity and turn our backs on God, but all of these prove to be empty. No, there must be a more meaningful way to deal with the pain and hardship surrounding suffering, when it comes into our lives or is already either in our own or those of loved ones.
“To glean some understanding of suffering in the world, we have to look at the big picture. Besides gifting man with a free will to choose his own destiny, God created a world that is governed by laws and principles. There is cause and effect to everything. To every action there is an opposite reaction and each carries consequences. Thus, we can understand that if one places their hand on a stove, a burn and pain will result. If one stays out in the sun too long, they will also get a burn or even contract skin cancer and thus suffer the consequences. If someone commits murder, it will cause pain and death to someone and suffering to all those involved. This is part of the human condition. Understanding the world we live in helps to some degree, to deal with suffering, but how do we cope with it? To the one in pain, it can be so unbearable and senseless that it goes beyond their comprehension that God does not intervene. ‘Surely, if I were God,’ they might think, ‘I would be quick to heal everyone.’
“The question that arises is the matter of free will and an orderly world based upon predictable laws. If God were to heal everyone who becomes sick or intervene every time things go awry, then there would not be free will and we would be puppets dangling at the end of the string. The laws of life and the cause and effect of our actions, would quickly become chaotic and meaningless. Life would lack order and natural consequences. Furthermore, how would we learn and grow and mature and
deal with life’s challenges?
“No, we must live in the world that God created for better or worse. For the most part, suffering is understandable as a natural consequence in our lives, but as I said, it can be so horrific and go on so endlessly, that it strikes such a deep chord in mankind that God’s wisdom in this area is viewed more harshly and at times as senseless and cruel.
“It demands that we examine more closely how suffering fits into God’s plan for the world beyond being part of the human condition and why is it that some even see joy coming out of their suffering?
“In trying to understand the mystery surrounding suffering and how we can cope with it, I have found some degree of insight as I examined the suffering in my own life and that of others. Sometimes, an example or a story is more revealing as it allows us to relate and identify with similar challenges that others have undergone and how they have dealt with it.
“I remember the day Karl burst into my store and related to me how his son was in a car accident and in critical condition in the hospital. He asked me to pray for a healing and that God would spare his boy. His son was in his mid twenties, married with two children, with a bright future as a lawyer. For years Karl and his wife scraped and struggled to save enough money to put their son through college and were so proud of him. Karl even offered his own life to God to please heal his son. On the fourth day following the accident, however, Karl’s son died. Not only did Karl hate the man whose carelessness caused the accident, but he was deeply angry with God for not saving his son. In the days that followed, I saw Karl become more and more imprisoned.
“I and my wife Anna could relate, because for years our hearts were filled with the same destructive emotions of hate, hurt and anger towards the Nazis for killing our loved ones. We too were trapped with a spirit of unforgiveness and almost every living moment of our lives was tainted with the horrific memories of the past. We were only partially alive and the anguish was unbearable. It was Anna who saw the light before me. We were paying a heavy price by reliving our hurt and stirring our anger, hurt, and want of vengeance. She knew the only road to freedom was to accept what happened and to forgive.
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