And she hadn’t thought he could be any more attractive. Wrong. So wrong.
They shuffled forward a few steps at a time as the previous riders exited and new riders got on.
“Should we wake her?” he asked.
“Nah. I hate for her to miss it, but waking her could go very, very badly.” And she wouldn’t mind having Jake to herself for a few minutes.
His hand grazed her lower back as they took another step. She’d never considered herself lonely, but she felt especially not lonely when she was with Jake.
The Ferris wheel spun and their turn came. Jake ushered her in first, holding out a hand, which she took, bypassing the attendant’s. He scooted into the small space on her left until they pressed together shoulder to thigh. When the small door was closed and secured, they were lifted into the air before stopping to let new riders on behind them.
Jake adjusted Casey in his lap so that she was sitting on his left knee, her head lolling against his chest. She wouldn’t mind being snuggled against him with his arms wrapped around her. “You sure you don’t want me to take her?”
“She’s fine,” he said, a soft smile on his lips as he looked down at her daughter.
The picture they made was sweet and she found herself smiling too. She didn’t know that Casey had ever been held by a man before. She’d had male doctors, but there was no father or grandfather or uncle in her life. He glanced up and their eyes met, because while he’d been looking at Casey, she’d been looking at him.
His chocolate-brown eyes met hers in a way that brought out her rambling. “She’s out. I think she’s had all the fun she can stand for one day.” She brushed the unruly waves back from Casey’s face. “She’s still a pretty good napper,” she went on. “So I’m not surprised. I hope she doesn’t drool on you. Or throw up.” They both glanced down at Casey’s face. “I don’t even want to think about what she ate today.”
“Partly my fault,” Jake said.
“Yes. It is,” she agreed with a smile. His fault because it had been a day of yeses. Anything Casey wanted. Balloons—two, and both had gotten away—games, rides, food. There hadn’t been a single no.
The ride continued to move and stop until finally they were making a slow cycle into the air. Small globe lights bordered the game stands, a few stars twinkled above them. Jake straightened his right leg as much as he could and squeezed his thigh above the knee.
She watched his hand move on his leg, wishing she could make it feel better. “Does it hurt?”
“No. My muscles just get a little sore from walking.”
“And you’ve been carrying her most of the day. I’m sorry.”
Even though she’d walked right beside him for hours, she’d almost forgotten about his leg. Maybe the fact that she’d spent most of her time looking up at his face. His chest. His arms. God, he had beautiful arms.
She peered over the side at the ground below. She hadn’t thought about the height factor when he’d suggested the Ferris wheel. The arms again. “We’re really high now.”
“Yep. You okay?” She heard the teasing in his voice, but also kindness.
“Oh yeah. Sure. It’s not really a ride, just a…giant bunch of metal pieces welded together. I’m sure it’s fine with all the bolts and all.” She looked over the side again.
“What was your favorite game as a kid?”
She turned her head. If she could just stare at his face for the next ten minutes, she wouldn’t think about the ride at all. “Are you trying to distract me?”
“Maybe.”
It took great effort not to get carried away by his thoughtfulness or the sexy, boyish grin that turned her completely upside down. She’d already told him the only fair she’d ever been to was her school carnival. “I used to play the cakewalk. Every single ticket, every single year, and I never won.” It was still a little disappointing.
“Wow. You really wanted a cake.”
“I know. I really, really did. I mean, what are the odds you can play the same game fifty times and never win? I’m not sure why it mattered, maybe I just wanted to win, and the more I lost the more I couldn’t believe I never won.”
“So I guess we should keep you out of the casinos?”
“Probably.”
Without warning the wheel jerked to a stop and she slapped her hand down on his upper thigh. She couldn’t say who was more shocked, and they both stared at her fingers gripping him mere inches from his…area. “I’m sorry.” Her face burned, but their bucket swung lightly in the air and her fingers refused to loosen.
“You’re fine.” He covered her hand with his own and for a second she didn’t know which way he was going to slide it. Super-naughty zone?—no, he wouldn’t—or safe zone? He did neither, instead slipping his fingers under hers until he was holding her hand.
It was warm, slightly rough, and so much bigger than her own. Paige willed her heart to slow, which was never going to happen with their joined hands resting on his thigh. Was this dating? Was this what she’d never wanted or considered? It didn’t feel anything like what she’d thought dating was. It felt the world had just disappeared from under her feet and she was falling.
The giant wheel started again, rotating slowly, bringing them to the highest point and her fingers tightened around his. It might not have been all about the ride.
She bit her lip at the perfect moment. More than perfect. All too soon they’d be back on the ground and these quiet moments in the night sky with Jake would be over. It was magical and she was acting like a silly girl, but that was part of the perfection. It felt really good to be young and silly for just a few minutes. And she had this crazy thought of the wheel stopping exactly at the top, of Jake taking her face in his hands and kissing her senseless like he’d done before. His fingers would slide into her hair while her hands roamed over his chest and shoulders. She knew how it felt to be pressed tight against him and she wanted that again.
But the Ferris wheel didn’t stop again and he didn’t kiss her, which in some weird way made it even more perfect, more special. The only guys she’d ever known would have tried to get as much as they could, but Jake wasn’t like any other man and he wouldn’t do what another man might do. She liked that. There were so many things to like about Jake McKinney. Too many.
When they got off, he took her hand again as they made their way to the parking lot. Probably because it was crowded and he didn’t want her to get left behind. But something inside her sparked, maybe a tiny, forgotten piece of some faraway girl who used to believe in fairy tales. Because Jake had a way of making her want things she didn’t even believe in.
Chapter 10
They talked easily on the way home about everything and nothing. Things like the correct way to eat a Kit Kat—he had a brother who bit across the top instead of breaking the sticks, shudder—and what was the best super power. Jake chose invisibility, she chose flying, but they both agreed those were the best two.
Simon had texted Jake, letting them know he and Jenny were staying for a band and he would bring her home. Casey slept soundly in the backseat, lips slightly parted, a bit of blue cotton candy clung to her hair. The purple bear had dropped to the floor at her feet. Even with no buffers the silence wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable, companionable.
Thirty minutes later, the tires of his SUV crunched over weeds and gravel before coming to a stop off to the side. He was already opening the door next to Casey when she got there, and he waited as Paige unbuckled her and gently lifted her out of her seat. Jake grabbed the booster and all the day’s loot and followed her inside.
“Anywhere’s fine,” she whispered, leaving him in the kitchen. She tucked Casey in, sticky hair and all, then closed her bedroom door all but a crack.
Jake was leaning against the counter when she returned, his long legs out in front of him crossed at the ankle. Now what? It’d been a long time since she’d been alone with a man. No, not a man. She had zero experience with a man. She’d never even kisse
d anyone old enough to buy alcohol.
“Do you want something to drink?” She opened the refrigerator, acutely aware of his body behind hers barely two feet away. “I have milk, orange juice, or water.”
“Water’s good.”
She got two glasses, some ice, and filled them at the sink.
“Thanks.” He took the glass she offered.
She’d lost her ease somewhere between the car and the kitchen. The small space seemed even smaller with him in it, his big body barely leaving room to breathe. Or maybe it was just being close enough to smell him that made it hard. His eyes met hers over the edge of the glass and her heart skipped. If she wasn’t careful, it would stop altogether.
There was only the one couch to sit on. Asking him to sit on it with her seemed a bit too dangerous and way too tempting. Especially after spending the past six hours with every cell in her body screaming to get closer. “Do you want to sit outside?”
“Sure.”
She followed him out, leaving only the screen door closed so that she could hear Casey. The table lamp inside illuminated them in soft light.
The steps were narrow, barely room for the two of them. She sat on the top step, leaning back against the metal railing someone had installed along the steps. Jake leaned back on the other side, one step below her.
“Another nice night,” she said after a moment.
“Yep.” Jake stretched out his right leg and placed his left foot on the bottom step, resting his forearm over his knee. Looking completely comfortable like he sat on stoops and drank water with girls every day, he stared across the small space at the next trailer over. It was white like hers, maybe more rust stains. A stack of pizza boxes near the door looked ready to topple over onto several empty cases of beer.
“The yard is low maintenance,” she joked, her eyes on the sandy, gravelly, grassy mix at the bottom of the steps.
“That’s good. No big lawn to keep up with. And your neighbors are nice and close if you need a cup of sugar.”
Paige laughed and coughed on the water she’d just started to swallow. “I don’t think Bumper there gives out sugar.”
Jake laughed with her. “Okay. Maybe not.”
They spent another minute listening to the night bugs and a dog barking a few rows over. “I wouldn’t mind a lawn to keep up with, though. A little house with a porch Casey and I could plant flowers around. Of course we could plant flowers here, I guess.” But it wouldn’t be the same. She wanted a place she called home that was her own.
He looked at her thoughtfully. “Is that why you work so hard?”
“Yes. And I don’t want Casey to ever have to worry about…things I worried about.”
“Like what?”
“Like pissed-off, unpaid landlords for one thing.”
“Did that happen a lot?”
There was no pity in his tone, which she appreciated. “No. Some. It was more the fear of it.” She thought for a second how to describe what it had been like and how much to tell him. “My mom was more the fun, dance-around-in-your-underwear kind of mom than the responsible, pay-the-rent kind,” she said lightly. “She did her best.”
“And your dad?”
“I met him once on my seventh birthday. He didn’t know it was my birthday. He was there asking my mom for money, which didn’t go over well since I think he was supposed to be bringing money to her.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.” She shrugged it off. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago. You can’t miss what you never had, right?” She hoped that was true. For Casey’s sake.
He searched her eyes for several beats, his own quiet and reflective.
“I’ve been thinking about Casey’s prosthesis situation,” Jake said after another moment. “And I think I should make her a new one. Not just make her one, but let her help me make it so she’d be excited about it.”
“Be one with her prosthesis?”
He smiled. “Exactly. I don’t pretend to know the mind of a five-year-old girl—”
“You do pretty well.”
His mouth curved slightly at the compliment. “I know you can go to Shriners, but I think I could make a better one. I know I could. And the turnaround time would be fast.”
Paige stared at him a second, taking in what he was offering. “That would be incredible. But I know it’s expensive, not to mention the time.”
“Paige. Please. I’ll put my guys on it. It’ll be a nice break for them. I can let Casey look at some material catalogs. She’ll have plenty of color and pattern choices to do whatever she wants.”
“That could be dangerous,” she said, thinking of what her daughter might dream up. He met her smile and she gave in with a sigh. “You know I can’t say no to that.”
“No,” he said. “You can’t.”
“Thank you. And thank you for today, too. I don’t know if I said that.”
“You did. About five times and you’re welcome. It was fun. I got a whistle and everything.”
He grinned, which was enough to make a woman stupid, then took a sip of water, and she tried not to stare at his throat. “So, um…was it always your dream to move to California? Open a major cutting-edge company?”
“No,” he said with a small laugh. “I never had such aspirations. The only thing I ever dreamed of was playing football.”
“Did you play at CalTech?”
“No. I played at the University of South Carolina. Thought I’d play four years of college, maybe even go pro.” He paused and studied the glass in his hand. “That was the dream, anyway. I played one season and then…” His gaze fell to his right leg and her heart hurt. “Then I lost my scholarship.”
He’d lost more than his scholarship. He rubbed his thigh again and she wondered if it was a habit when he thought about all he’d lost. He’d lost his dreams, so had she, but where she’d gained Casey, he’d lost his leg. “I’m sorry. What did you do after that?”
“After that, I moved out west to a rehab facility.”
That surprised her, that he’d needed to move for rehab, and it must have shown on her face.
“My left leg was broken in four places in addition to the lower portion of the right being crushed. One doctor suggested I might not walk again.”
Of course. Because his hadn’t been a planned surgery like Casey’s. It’d been sudden and painful and violent. That still didn’t explain why he’d gone so far away from his family. Why he’d stayed. “Well, that doctor was obviously wrong.”
“Lots of rehab.” His tone said it hadn’t been easy.
A dog barked in the distance and another answered him.
“Wait—you were quarterback, weren’t you?” she asked, breaking the silence. “All the games today?” It was easy to picture his big hands wrapped around the leather of a football. “You know, that could be considered cheating.” She nudged his leg playfully with the toe of her sandal, and he smiled the way she’d wanted him to.
“Not quarterback. Wide receiver, but I was around a football a lot. Enough to beat you, evidently.”
“I want a rematch.”
One side of his mouth curved up. “Anytime.”
As in he would spend time with her anytime she wanted? Did he want that? “I bet your parents are proud of you, coming out here, starting a business, and becoming a…”
“Biomedical engineer, and I don’t really stand out.”
“Why? Because there are so many?” She couldn’t imagine him not standing far and above all others.
“Maybe, but my oldest brother was an Air Force pilot and now owns a charter business. My next brother was a Navy SEAL, the next a millionaire before he was thirty. My sister’s a psychologist, and let me tell you what a pain that is. She’d rival Casey in the asking questions department,” he added affectionately.
He continued describing his family and their lives. The admiration in his voice when he talked about his brothers was clear, and she could picture him as a little boy trying to live up to what h
e saw as legends. She didn’t need to meet them to know he’d still be the standout to her. “Was it hard being the youngest?”
He thought a second. “I think the age difference made it hard in some ways. My oldest brother left for college when I was two. All my brothers were out of the house by the time I was ten. Then my sister two years after that. I mostly remember chasing them, wanting to be a part of whatever they were doing. Wanting to play but never being big enough or fast enough.”
And football’s how he chased them. “I’m sorry you lost that, something you loved, but I’m envious of you, of finding your talent and using it to make a difference. I’d like to do that.”
“I’m sure you have talents,” he said, looking at her thoughtfully. “What was your dream?”
That was easy. “To get out of Texas, out of that town. I had all these plans to move to a big city and ride the subway to a job I had to dress up for.” She smiled, thinking about it. “I was going to live in an apartment with a garden on the roof overlooking all the bustling people with important places to go, but…”
“But what?”
She met his gaze and something in it made her answer honestly. “But then I got offtrack, got in the backseat of a car with a boy.”
She didn’t know what she expected Jake to say. She certainly wouldn’t have been the stand-out in the McKinney family tree.
“I wasn’t that into boys. I know it might not seem like that, given my circumstances, but—”
“Paige.” He waited for her to look up. “I’m the last person that would ever judge you. Trust me. And for what it’s worth, I think you’re on the right track and doing a hell of a job.”
She gave him a sideways smile, unable to voice how much his words meant to her. “Thanks.” His brown eyes continued to hold hers, making her fight her natural reflex to look away. She didn’t know what to do or what to feel when he looked at her like that. No one ever had. He clearly made her want to do a lot of things that were in no way part of her plan. “I should go in,” she finally said.
Worth It All Page 9