“I’m glad you came by,” she finally said. “I’ve been wanting to say something to you and I just…I don’t know why I never did. Or I guess I do know. I was embarrassed, ashamed.”
“Rachel, you don’t need to—”
“No. I’m sorry, for what I said to you in your hospital room.” She glanced at his leg again. “It was a terrible thing to say and…I’ve regretted it.”
Her words were genuine and although he’d finally forgiven himself, he appreciated it. “I came to tell you the same thing.” His eyes met hers. “That I’m sorry.”
She nodded, accepting his words as well. “We were young. My reaction wasn’t exactly rational.” She looked down, then back up. “I wasn’t thinking of you, or about the baby. I was young and in love and thinking about getting my boyfriend back.” She paused and handed her son a wooden spoon from a drawer, getting a toothy grin. “You know, people thought I wasn’t with you because of your leg.”
“I never said that,” he said, meeting her eyes. “I told people we broke up.”
“We always broke up. No one believed we wouldn’t have gotten back together. I hated it. Hated that all of our friends believed that. It wouldn’t have made any difference to me. I hope you know that.”
He wasn’t a hundred percent sure he believed that, not of the girl she’d been back then, but maybe now. It didn’t matter anyway. “I’m fine. It took awhile, but I’m all good.”
She nodded slowly. “We both paid a price. I’ll never say it was for the best, but I am grateful for the life I have now, my son and my husband. If things hadn’t happened the way they did, I don’t know where I’d be, but I know I wouldn’t be here.”
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I’d like to know you’re happy too.”
“I am.” He smiled, thinking of Paige, how she’d be in his arms in just a few short hours. “I spent a lot of time thinking I was happy, but…I guess it took me falling in love to know what real happiness felt like.”
“She’s a lucky girl.” Rachel covered his hand with her own. “You’ll be a great father. I always thought so, regardless of what I said.”
“I wasn’t sure but…she has a daughter. I love her too.” And he knew he wanted to have another child with Paige. More than one. Several.
There wasn’t much else to say. He didn’t plan on striking up a friendship, imagined he’d most likely never see her again.
Rachel gave him a quick hug. “Don’t let her get away.”
“I won’t.” He took one last look, then walked out and got in his truck.
With his pulse racing at the thought of seeing Paige, he drove toward his future. He thanked God for every second of his life. All these years he’d questioned his actions, spun around the never-ending wheel of what-ifs. Not anymore. It was this exact road that had brought him to Paige, and he was thankful for every twist and turn, every painful bump and barrier. He always would be.
Chapter 33
Fifteen minutes later, JT walked into his mother’s kitchen and was immediately assaulted with hugs and kisses. “Look at you,” his mother said, pulling back. “Two visits in two weeks? Why do I think you didn’t come to see me?”
He winked at his mother in answer. “It smells good in here.”
“We’re having a little get-together for your father’s birthday.”
“Oh. I forgot.” The date had never occurred to him.
“Don’t worry,” his mother said, patting his cheek. “You do what you came for.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He kissed her cheek and dashed upstairs. The next step in his plan was to take a shower. When that was done and he was dressed and freshly shaven, he returned to the kitchen.
“Hey, Liz.”
“Hey! Didn’t expect to see you here.” She wrapped him in a hug, then pulled back. “And not just here, but all dressed up and smelling like a flower.” She grinned, then studied him. “Does Paige know you’re in town?”
“No. I’m heading out there now. I decided to surprise her.” Because he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be and he didn’t want to give her too much time to think. To analyze. To worry.
A car door slammed outside. “She’s definitely going to be surprised.”
He didn’t even have time to question his sister before the side door leading into the kitchen opened again. He knelt just in time to catch Casey against his chest, her little arms wrapping around his neck.
“Jake! You came for dinner! I was just missing you.”
He held her tight, with his heart lodged securely in his throat. “I was just missing you too.”
“I’m really good at riding now,” she said, pulling back. “You should see me and you should see the ginormous poo and Stephen scoops it with a shovel.”
He stood with her in his arms. “I would love to see that.” But first he wanted to see Paige.
Casey looked at him curiously. “That was a really long way for dinner. You must like your mom’s lasagna a lot.”
“Yes.” He kissed Casey’s cheek, then Paige entered the kitchen and his heart hammered against his ribs. “But I came for more than lasagna.”
“Dessert?”
“More than that.” He put Casey down and crossed to Paige.
He’d barely taken two steps before she dropped the pan she was carrying onto the counter and flew into his arms. With her face tucked into his neck and his nose in her hair, he inhaled her scent, forgetting those moments when he’d imagined them not together.
“Hey! What’s with the traffic jam?” Tony ushered his kids in ahead of him, forcing JT to sidestep with Paige still wrapped up in his arms.
“Hey, man. Surprise.” Tony slapped his back.
More people crowded into his mother’s kitchen, but his sole focus was on Paige.
Paige pulled back to meet his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, so much, but you know I’m coming back in two days.”
To pack. To say goodbye and he wouldn’t have tried to persuade her to stay in California. But now he wouldn’t have to. “We need to talk about that.”
“Yes, we do.” Something passed through her eyes, regret maybe. Sadness.
He pressed another kiss to her lips, then took her hand. “Sorry, Dad. You know I love you, but we have plans.”
“I get it.” His father winked.
“What about Casey?” Paige asked.
“She’ll be fine,” his mother said. Abby and Hannah echoed the same.
Good thing because he was already pulling Paige out the door to the grins and teasing looks behind him. He wasn’t in the mood to waste time, but he did pause before opening the passenger door for her. He slipped his fingers through her hair and kissed her until they were both breathless.
When he lifted his head, she gave him a questioning look. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
His answer was simple. “You’re here.”
Her teeth scraped across her bottom lip, making him crazy, and her expression changed to uncertainty. She had no idea how much he loved her.
“What are the plans?”
“Dinner. To start.” He kissed her once more quickly, then loaded her into the car and forced himself to concentrate on the road. Twenty minutes later, he pulled up to a small boutique hotel on the beach.
Paige slid him a look. “You said dinner.”
“Yep. Among other things.” If this went well, there would be several other things.
Desire flared in her eyes, tempting him to change plans. But no, he was going to do this right.
With her hand in his, he led her through the ornate lobby to the restaurant.
“Jake.” She pulled him to a stop. “Are you sure I’m dressed for this?”
“You’re perfect,” he said, giving her a long, appreciative look.
They continued through to check in and then followed the host out and onto a secluded deck with only one tabl
e. It was covered in a white cloth with a cluster of white candles in the center. More candles set in deep glass holders lined the weathered rail, their flames dancing in the ocean breeze.
Paige stopped short. “Jake?”
He squeezed her hand. “It’s dinner.”
She smiled, taking in the scene, obviously delighted. “It’s beautiful.”
Once seated, they ordered steak and lobster and a tableful of sides. Anything she wanted and even things she wasn’t sure about. He got it all.
“You’re feeding me again,” she said, taking another bite of a creamy seafood dish.
“Yes.” And he planned to do it many more times.
She picked up her glass of wine. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yes.” Realizing his hands had stilled and he was staring, he forced another bite of steak. It was damn hard to eat with Paige sitting beside him. So damn beautiful with her face glowing in the candlelight and her hair lifting gently on the wind.
For the next few minutes, Paige regaled him with tales of Casey and the horses and all that they’d both learned. “She loves it here, but…”
“But what?”
“But I’m not staying. I’m going to tell Hannah tomorrow.” Her smile fell away and her chin dropped.
“What? I thought it was going so well. I thought you loved it.” And after a lengthy discussion with Simon and Lynn, he’d gone before the board and announced his plans.
“I did. I do, but…it’s really far away and I thought, if we want to see where this goes, that maybe I should stay in California. If you want me to.”
“If I want you?” He took her hand and laid it against his cheek. then pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. “Paige, I’d never ask you to give up what you wanted.”
“I know that. And you’re not. I had a plan before this. If I stick to that, I’ll get where I want to go eventually.”
So she’d go back to the plan that had her stressed and tired all the time. And she’d do it for him.
“I love it here, but I love you more. I need you more.”
His heart nearly burst hearing her say the words. He brought her fingers to his lips and closed his eyes for a second, unable to speak. He hadn’t thought he could love her any more than he already did. This strong, beautiful, hardworking woman loved him, and when given the choice, she’d take the more difficult path to be with him. He thanked God again as he gazed into her eyes. “How about this for a new plan? We all live here.”
“What?”
“I talked to Simon and Lynn. We all agree a satellite facility would work. An East Coast arm of Evolution.”
“But everything you built—”
“Can be built here. And even if it couldn’t, there are planes to travel. There are other engineers there that I can work with remotely. There are a hundred other ways I can help people here.” Without letting go of her hand, he knelt on one knee beside her chair. “I love you, Paige. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the first time I saw you help an old man read a menu. I want you. I want Casey. I want to be a husband and a father. I don’t want one day when we’re not together. I want to make your life a fairy tale.” Paige covered her mouth as tears hung on her lashes. “Marry me, Paige. Don’t make me live without you.”
She didn’t answer and his hands started to sweat. “I know a lot’s happened, a lot of changes, and you can think about it. You can wait until you’re ready, but I’m ready and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes.” Paige came out of the chair and sank into his arms right there on the weathered deck. “Yes,” she said again, covering his face with her salty kisses. “Yes.”
—
Paige hadn’t noticed Jake get the room key when he’d checked in with the maître’d for dinner, but evidently he had and a good thing too. Without waiting for the bill, they made a sweet spectacle through the lobby. Jake tugged her by the hand, and before the elevator doors closed, his mouth crushed down on hers. The wall of the elevator was hard against her back, Jake hard at her front. He framed her face in his hands and her arms twined around his neck. She kissed him, happy on a level she hadn’t even known existed. Could never have imagined.
Thankfully, no one joined them in their steamy elevator ascent, and they arrived on the third floor before things got too indecent. It was a short walk to their room, but still too far. They made it in a tangle of hands and arms and lips, then it was just the two of them behind the closed door, cut off from the world.
As if it hit them at the same time, they both paused to take a breath. He stared into her eyes, pinning her in place. “I love you.” He said it again as he slowly peeled away her clothes. When all the barriers were gone, and they were skin to skin, they slowed, drew it out.
All that had built inside her poured out and over him, as she rained tearful kisses over his face.
“You’re crying again.”
“I know. You’ll just have to take it.”
“Happy to,” he said, and rolled until he was on top.
After long moments of touching and loving, he entered her slowly with nothing between them. They found their rhythm, long, steady strokes, and she lost herself in him, not the least bit worried, knowing he’d bring her back.
“I love you.” She said it again, and again, and so did he. There was a certainty that every move was the right one. A confidence that all the moves to follow would be just as sure. They had all night, they had a lifetime. And they took it.
Epilogue
Jake caught her around the waist and guided her outside onto his parents’ deck. It was cold out, but a refreshing blast from the crazy, crowded room inside. It was Christmas Eve and the family gathering was in full swing. Jake’s strong arms that she loved so much closed around her from behind, and she covered his hands with her own.
She tilted her head to the side to make it easier for his wandering lips. It was dark out, but she fingered the diamond Jake had put on her finger, and more recently the wedding band he’d added. She still found it hard to believe sometimes. That he was hers, that she was his. Their wedding had been a thing of beauty beyond her wildest dreams. White silk and twinkling lights. Casey glowing brilliantly with flowers in her hair.
She’d thought it might only be a few people, immediate family, but when a McKinney got married, the word family took on a whole new meaning. When you got into his mom’s side of the family, all the assorted cousins and their offspring, there were over one hundred guests that had some relation. And then there were his friends. He had more than he thought. He might have gone away, but no one had forgotten about him.
And of course there was Jenny with her pregnant belly and Simon, who rarely let her out of his sight. Lynn, her husband, and their new baby had also come, and her mother. Her mom’s visit had been brief, just one extra day before the wedding. She’d had things and people to get back to, and that was fine. She finally understood that maybe her mom hadn’t been looking for a man all that time. Maybe she’d been looking for love and she’d never found it. Paige really hoped she did.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered against her ear.
They’d only been married six weeks, and it was hard to imagine a time without being Jake’s wife. “You. Us.”
“Mmm. I like that.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and hugged her a little tighter.
“Where’s Casey?”
“Still in the basement with Stephen, setting up the trains. Knowing my brother, he’ll have to completely rework the entire model city before he comes up for air.”
“I can’t believe your brother got Matt’s and Andrew’s kids drum sets.”
“An ongoing feud. Beginning with Matt giving all the kids plastic wagons full to the brim with candy.”
She laid her head back against his chest and relished the moment. She’d almost closed herself off from this, trying to be what she thought she should be and never knowing what she could have and how full her heart could be. The love she felt from J
ake swamped her, and her heart still did a little dance every time she watched him walk into a room.
He and Casey had their own thing going and it was almost more than her heart could take sometimes. Watching the two of them in the morning before school with their little rituals was sweetness overload. They already had a puppy and two kittens. She figured it wouldn’t be long before Jake brought home a pony.
“How long does the party last again?”
He nipped at her ear.
“I’m kidding. I love it.” She and Casey had been showered with McKinney love. The women were like sisters and best friends, while Jake’s brothers joked with her like the big brothers she never had. Cole had already taken on the role of protector when it came to his sister Caroline, and now he’d added Casey. She’d marched into class that first day with Cole on one side and Caroline on the other, ready to take Saint Sebastian by storm.
A burst of laughter sounded inside as someone broke into a terrible rendition of “White Christmas.” As much as she loved them all, she did want to get Jake home.
She turned in his arms, and he kissed her long and deep until she was seriously considering skipping the upcoming Pictionary battle in favor of a little naked bed battle.
But when Jake lifted his head, there was a seriousness that hadn’t been there a few seconds ago. “What?” She framed his face in her hands.
“I have something for you. I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it.”
“A present? Jake, you’ve given me enough presents.”
“Well, this one is actually for me.” He looked away and took a minute before meeting her eyes again. It reminded her of that night he’d come back to the diner to offer his help for Casey.
“On my last trip to California, I took a detour to Texas.”
She barely had time to register her heart skipping before he went on.
“I tracked down Casey’s father. I know you said you’d do it or get a lawyer, but I just wanted it done, and I didn’t want you to have to worry about it. Casey’s already mine in every way that matters, but now it’ll be legal.”
The tears came without warning, so overwhelmed with joy and emotion. She had put it off, not wanting even the slightest smudge of her past to touch their happiness. But the real reason she hadn’t pursued it was because she was terrified Gary would say no and Jake wouldn’t be able to adopt Casey the way he so badly wanted to. “But how…”
Worth It All Page 24